The Mudflats

Oh, those crazy conservatives at Human Events….they do make me laugh! Most of the time they make me cringe, and occasionally they make me nauseous, but somehow they manage to toss me little crumbs that make it all worth while. Today, I received my daily email from the dark side, and in it, the offer of “Sarah Palin’s New Book” for free!

Of course, the book isn’t by Sarah Palin as the subject line might imply. And it isn’t new as the subject line might also imply. This book has been around for at least a year, and I’ve seen it sitting in stacks on the book table at Costco.

I’ve even seen it for sale at Wal-Mike’s (left), an interesting little business with lots of “local color,” located on the Parks Highway about an hour north of Wasilla, where they were also selling a ‘Sarah Palin for Governor’ frisbee for $1500. I didn’t bother to check how much they were charging for the book. But, I digress…

Back to the email:

Now, the major media is in full overdrive to smear and rewrite the accomplishments of this courageous young woman and rising Republican star.

But who is the real Sarah Palin?

She is more than a former beauty queen, conservative politician, family advocate, hockey mom with “lipstick” and moose-hunting NRA lifetime member.

She is a true reformer who took on the political and business establishment in Alaska and won.

And she may make history as the first female vice president of the United States.

(screechy brake noise) She MAY make history as the first female vice president? Yes, I received this email on November 30th, which means that Human Events doesn’t actually update, or proofread their emails before sending them. It’s the “Just use that one again” strategy.

In Sarah, the first biography of Palin, author Kaylene Johnson draws upon personal interviews with Palin herself, her family, and closely placed sources to explore her private and public life. Sarah also includes 16 pages of Sarah Palin’s most personal photos!

(screechy brake noise) MOST personal photos? Couldn’t we just have the regular personal photos? What makes these the MOST personal?? I solemnly take a vow that the next time I am in Costco, I will take a big deep breath and look at Sarah Palin’s most personal photos, and report back.

In the meantime, those of you who do not have access to this amazing free book deal, can order your very own copy of Sarah at Amazon for a mere $15.95 in paperback. AND, you know how Amazon has that thing where you can buy two related books, and get a special offer? Here’s the deal you get with Sarah:

Buy Sarah: How a Hockey Mom Turned the Political Establishment Upside Down and get Terror Occulta at an additional 5% off Amazon.com’s everyday low price. Buy Together Today: $25.86

HUH?? No, I am not making this up. Terror Occulta….truly. This is the book, of all books, that Amazon has chosen to pair with Sarah Palin’s Biography. Wow.

Here’s a brief description:

Product Description
In a classic tale of good and evil, in Terror Occulta, author Victor F. Paletta goes to an eerie and wicked place that is wholly unusual and utterly fascinating. His is a distant future where life on earth has taken a turn for the worst. An enemy that once hid from a more technologically advanced people turns the tide, and is now on a relentless hunt for humans.

Could this “distant future” be…(insert creepy organ chord here)….2012???

George W. Bush (remember him?) put his adviser’s old college roommate Mike “Brownie” Brown, who had been overseeing horse shows, in charge of FEMA. We all know how THAT turned out.

Sarah Palin put her old high-school buddy and former real estate agent, Franci Havermeister to head the State Division of Agriculture in part because of her childhood love of cows which she cited as a qualification, when applying for the $95,000/year job.

There are lessons here. We learn from this that it’s not a good idea in terms of pragmatism, or appearances to fill high-level administrative positions with someone you know, just because you know them. This seems obvious, but there are certain administrations (federal and state) that have the aura of a tree-house. You know…the kid (executive office holder) that’s so jazzed to get their very own tree-house, that all they focus on is deciding who gets to use it, and who gets the “Keep Out” sign as the ladder gets pulled up. It’s fun to have a club.

Two of the kids in Palin’s tree-house, which is full of school chums, church pals, and unqualified loyalists, have gotten into hot water lately, and their fate is detailed by Andrew Halcro in his latest excellent blog offering.

According to legislative sources, the governor has pardoned both Frank Bailey and Ivy Frye and plans on transferring them out of the governor’s office over to the Alaska Industrial Development Export Authority (AIDEA).

Both Bailey and Frye have figured large in the operations of the governor’s office and both have created more baggage for this administration than Louis Vittone.

Frye has held no fewer than four different positions since she was hired after helping on Palin’s campaign back in 2006. Frye was originally in charge of Board’s & Commissions until she made a mess out of that job and then she was transferred to the Department of Administration. That job lasted until the commissioner couldn’t handle it anymore after Frye reportedly told her that she only reports to the governor. Then, Frye was moved into a position entitled special assistant to the governor, where among other things, Frye worked on ways to get around public disclosure laws by using her Blackberry.

Bailey quickly emerged as the governor’s incompetent hatchet man. He became famous for lying both to the public and the press when he stated in July that he had nothing to do with trying to get Palin’s brother in law fired. Three weeks later, Governor Palin, red-faced, released a tape recorded phone call that showed him trying to get Palin’s brother in-law fired.

But more recently, Bailey was slapped on the wrist by a special investigator for sending emails to help a political contributor of Governor Palin’s get a state job.

Those emails were described as “troubling” by the investigator and it was recommended that Bailey take an ethics course.

I do love Andrew Halcro…and I’ll even forgive his butchering of the name Louis Vuitton. His version is actually rather endearingly Alaskan-sounding.

Frank Bailey, of course, is the same guy who was put on paid administrative leave after the aforementioned taped phone call surfaced, so he’d have more time to devote to answering questions about the Troopergate investigation. And he’s also one of the ones who ignored the Legislative subpoena he was issued in that very case. Here’s the quote from the Anchorage Daily News on August 20, 2008, nine days before Palin was chosen to run for VP:

Palin spokeswoman Sharon Leighow said that with Bailey still a state employee, Palin “can direct him to assist Mr. Branchflower, thereby fulfilling her pledge to Alaskans to cooperate fully with the investigation.”

Ah, what a difference nine days can make.

Ivy Frye is another one of those state employees with the “subpoena-optional” attitude problem. She didn’t show either.

And my favorite all-time Ivy Frye quote came shortly after Palin was picked as McCain’s VP running mate. Frye picked up the phone and called Sherry Whitstine, a Wasilla blogger who had been critical of the Governor demanding, “Stop blogging! Stop blogging right now!”

I am amazed, actually, that I have not yet heard those words uttered in my house! My support staff is much more tolerant.

The outcome of the case of these two is yet to be decided. Call me old-fashioned, but I still think they have to answer to the fact that they didn’t show up to testify before the Legislature when they were subpoenaed. But for now, we shall watch and wait and keep an eye on the now doomed Alaska Industrial Development Export Authority. Bet the folks over there are just thrilled.