The 2008 “Muddies” – VOTE NOW!
Soon 2008 will be a memory. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. But one thing is certain, Alaska was in the news a whole lot more than anyone ever expected. Strange local politics suddenly became strange national politics, and even issues which remained local to Alaska became just as intriguing to the rest of the nation as they had always been for us locals.
And as we reflect upon the year past, and dream of the possibilities of the year ahead, it’s time to give some acknowledgment to those figures in Alaskan politics who made 2008 so very…..unforgettable.
So, I invite you all, Alaskans and non-Alaskans, readers foreign and domestic, to weigh in on who you think deserves the first ever award I shall call the “Muddy”. And I’d also like to say that we all know who is going to win first place. So, in the interest of adding a little more depth and color to our competition, I’d like to announce the winner, and get right on to our list of runners-up.
I bequeath the 2008 Muddy to Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin. She made us laugh, she made us cry, she made us shake our heads, she made us bang them on our desks, she dissolved our stomach lining, and then just when we least expected it, she made us laugh again. That’s quite a list of accomplishments, and ironically, she turned out to be one heck of a community organize… for the other side.
She was responsible, through campaign vitriol and accusations of “palling around with terrorists”, for a spike in the number of death threats to members of the future first family, and yet she has also been referred to by the progressive blogging community as God’s gift to the Democratic Party.
The first Republican female Vice Presidential candidate and chosen to shore up the female vote, she spurred a huge demonstration in Anchorage organized by the grass roots group, “Alaska Women Reject Sarah Palin.”
She has been given the Conservative of the Year Award from Human Events, and yet Alaska’s socialist tendencies have earned her comparisons to Hugo Chavez, and the ire of actual fiscal conservatives in the her own state.
A mass of contradictions, and media fodder for all eternity, she richly deserves the Muddy. Congratulations.
Now, on to the real horse race.
Based upon your suggestions, and my own, here are our list of 2008 nominees (in no particular order):
Alaska Attorney General Talis Colberg – Plucked from legal obscurity in Palmer, Alaska, Mr. Colberg was given the lauded position of State Attorney General. He’s the guy who told seven state employees that complying with Legislative subpoenas wasn’t really mandatory or anything. Just kind of a suggestion. Yeah, we’re the “Department of Law”, but no need to get anal about it. Outrage and demand for his ouster were the inspirations for Alaska’s largest political rally ever. Charged with holding Sarah Palin accountable, Mr. Colberg has had a lot of vacation time this year, including an infamous trip to Kansas during the height of the Troopergate debacle. In a startling new revelation, he was recently outed as having been the college roommate of none other than embattled and thoroughly corrupt Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich. You can’t make this stuff up. (Doh! I promised not to say that anymore!)
Bill McAllister – Once a beloved and respected Channel 2 News anchorman, and someone with an actual degree in mass communication, Mr. McAllister was given the job of Governor Palin’s press secretery mere weeks before she was chosen as John McCain’s running mate. Surprise! Now known as Alaska’s very own Dana Perrino, Mr. McAllister does his best to rebuff all criticism of the Governor, while getting into very public 2nd grade, hair-pulling email skirmishes, lampooning respected public figures, and greeting the joyous birth of Bristol and Levi’s new baby with an emotional “no comment.”
Meghan Stapleton – Once a beloved and respected Channel 2 News anchorwoman (I’m sensing a theme here), and whose only dreadful performance before working for the McCain campaign was literally getting run over by a Christmas reindeer on television, her fall to the dark side can only be described as extraordinary. Known now as Meghan Stapletongue, because that’s kind of what it feels like when she talks, she was front and center with McCain’s “Truth Squad.” As Orwellian as it sounded, the function of the “Truth Squad” was to stand in front of the media with charts and graphs complete with circles and arrows, and connect anyone and everyone that spoke out for accountability in Palin’s ethics investigation, with…(ominous chord)..Barack Obama….(insert high pitched scream here). Another favorite activity was sullying the name and reputation of ex-Commissioner of Public safety Walt Monegan, a dedicated and competent public servant (who refused to illegally fire Palin’s ex-brother-in-law) by calling him a “rogue” and accusing him of “insubordination.” Nice.
Photo by Dennis Zaki
Ted Stevens – Soon to be our ex-Senior senator, Ted Stevens has been an institution in Alaska politics for the last 40 years. Like Victorian Englad without Queen Victoria, and like ancient Egypt without Ramses II, Alaskans feel a bit lost. And also like in ancient Egypt, we are now faced with chiseling his name off of his great monument, the Ted Stevens International Airport, and giving it to someone else who has political relevence. After seven felony convictions for accepting $250,000 in gifts he “forgot” to delcare on his senate financial disclosure forms, you’d think we had heard the last of ConvicTed. But don’t count him out yet. After a trial which included accusations of prosecutorial misconduct, and a jury that can only be described as ‘eccentric’, Ted’s list of reasons to declare a mistrial or a retrial is long. He’s not one to go gently into that good night. He will probably go into that good night wearing an Incredible Hulk tie, and shouting, “NO!”
Don Young – Thanks to a famous spoonerism, Rep. Young is now fondly known to many as Yon Dung. Every poll taken showed Young losing to challenger Ethan Berkowitz in his race for a 19th term in the House of Representatives. Every poll was apparently wrong, or Alaska’s infinitely tamper-able voting machines were the culprit. Whichever theory you subscribe to, the undeniable fact is that he’s baaa-aack. Veco oil services company used to sponsor Young’s infamous annual “pig roast” fundraiser. Pork anyone? In this past year Young has spent over a million dollars in legal fees. For what? He refuses to say. When will the indictment come? That’s one of the secrets that will be revealed by the FBI in due time.
Fred Dyson and Mike Doogan – A twofer! One vote gets you two, count ‘em two Alaskan bad boys of netiquette challenged email. This little pair of ill-mannered bookends just goes to show us that arrogance, bad form, and the uncontrollable urge to look like an idiot to a large group of people can come from both sides of the aisle. Whether it was asking engaged citizens “Are you people nuts?”, calling those seeking to hold elected leaders accountable for their actions “coreligionists,” (Doogan) or using the ALL CAPS DEFENSE, bandying around words like EVIL and LYNCHING , and demanding that we come up with our own NEW FACTS (Dyson), these two kept our chins on the desk and our heads shaking for a good long time.
Mike Doogan
Fred Dyson
Eddie Burke – Local conservative wingnut radio shock jock, Eddie Burke has perfected the art of …. being Eddie Burke. Most notably this year, he called the organizers of the Alaska Women Reject Sarah Palin rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots.” As a result of Burke’s diatribe, about 90 counter-demonstrators turned out, and had a dismal day trying to be noticed over the charged up, empowered 1500 on the other side. Eddie Burke eventually apologized, and then to show he really meant it, he called them “a bunch of socialist baby-killers” again. Apparently he just regretted the “maggot” part.
Bill Allen – Former CEO of Veco Corp., half of the “other” Bill & Ted, and master of bribing Alaska Legislators (the self-proclaimed “Corrupt Bastards Club,”) Allen got immunity for members of his family, in exchange for a guilty plea, and for flipping like a fish and telling all about those on the receiving end of his gifts. Mr. Allen also had a penchant for substance abusing under aged girls. Once the best bud of convicTed Stevens, he sat on the witness stand and with nostalgia recalled how they used to drink wine and amble around the desert southwest to lose weight. You just can’t make this stu(clamps hand over mouth). But after Allen’s testimony, Ted, unless he wiggles out of it, is looking at spending some time behind bars. He’s also accused of making death threats against his nephew, who did some of the infamous renovations on Senator Stevens’ chalet, and who started dating Allen’s girlfriend. Allen is captured on video, actually handing over cash to Legislator Vic Kohring in the Baranof Hotel, presumably to stuff in his young daughter’s plastic Easter eggs. And there is more to come, you can be sure.
Chuck Kopp – A blast from the past. Kopp briefly played “bad cop” to Monegan’s “good cop” in the Troopergate debacle. Palin appointed Kopp, the chief of police in Kenai, to the vacant seat left by Monegan. No sooner had he entered the picture, than a former sexual harrassment issue forced him to resign the position in disgrace. Kopp stated that it was right there in his file, and he assumed the governor’s office knew about it. They said they didn’t, once again proving that even the most superficial vetting is, in fact, a GOOD thing. Kopp didn’t apologize, but told us all that this was between him and Jesus. And then he got $10,000 severence pay from the governor for two weeks of work. Monegan’s severence pay? Zilch.
Todd Palin – Known as “the shadow governor” Todd is a man of few words, and a whole lot of mystery. If Sarah Palin is George Bush, then Todd is Dick Cheney, although we cannot prove he shot anyone in the face. He sits in on official meetings, gives his 2 cents on budget issues, ignores legislative subpoenas, discusses certain Troopers who shall remain nameless with certain ex-commissioners of public safety while sitting in the governor’s office. Winner of the Iron Dog snowmachine race, he has been known to use his talents for….obsessive compulsions, like following his ex-brother in law 100 miles into the frozen wilderness to snap photos proving he doesn’t have a back injury. You just can’t make (clamps hand over mouth). And who can forget that as a former member of the Alaskan Independence Party, he enabled a nation to say that Sarah Palin “Pals around with separatists!” Todd has been copied on official state emails that are supposed to have executive privelege, and yet he is not an employee of the state, nor a member of the executive branch, so he’s a private citizen who can’t claim that privelege, but we are also private citizens and aren’t allowed to see these emails because they are priveleged….. I’m dizzy. And that, it seems, is the goal. And while Sarah always gets the spotlight, at least he got a pair of silk boxers paid for by the RNC out of the deal. Or did he have to give those back?
Tim Petumenos – Tim Petumenos is the special counsel to the Alaska State Personnel Board. Although the investigative powers of the Alaska State Legislature are plenary (that means they can investigate whatever they want) Sarah Palin decided that the more objective way to figure out if she was ethical was to ignore the findings of the bipartisan Legislative council, (made up of 8 Republican legislators and 4 Democratic legislators), and instead go with the decision of the three-person Republican governor-appointed board that reports to her. And she did this by filing a complaint against herself. You just ca(CLAMP! I’m getting faster.) And just to make things EXTRA non-political, Tim Petumenos released the results of this investigation the day before the election. Whew…glad this one was impartial and apolitical. Did I mention that Palin was cleared of everything? Heck, she was so innocent we may as well just give her blanket immunity for the rest of her term! It’s a good thing that former terrorism lawyer Ed O’Callaghan was flown in from NYC by the McCain campaign to advise our Department of Law. I don’t know if they could have been this clever on their own.
Brian the Moose – And winding up our dirty dozen, here’s our wild card entry. Brian, the official mascot of the Mudflats was accused of a crime this year. A crime of passion? Wanton vandalism? A strange ungulate calling which we humans simply cannot understand? We may never know for sure why he did it, but last fall, at approximately 5am, Brian stole my swing set. After investigating the clanging noise outside, and wondering if neighborhood children had discovered this little used yard relic, spouse and I discovered it was GONE. Brian had been sniffing around the swing set recently, and when we discovered it, abandoned in the woods about 500 feet away, we deduced that it had gotten tangled in Brian’s antlers and had gone for one heck of an early morning ride. There’s no doubt that Brian is beloved here, but does this mean he should get off scott free? Is the circumstantial evidence enough to convict him, especially when motive is unclear? Damage was minimal, and entertainment value was high…. You make the call.
Well, that’s it Mudflatters and Mudpuppies. Alaska’s Dirty Dozen of 2008. And of course, you all know that there could have been dozens more, but my typing muscles can only hold out so long. I have no doubt that 2009 will see a brand new crop of rogues, renegades, crooks, and ne’er do wells sprout up like chickweed after a good spring rain.
I know it’s going to be tough, so I’ll let you pick your TOP THREE CHOICES! The poll will close at the end of the day, January 2. We’ve got 10 Republicans, 2 Democrats and a moose. You decide.
Who Deserves the 2008 Muddy? (Candidates in random order. Choose 3!)
- Todd Palin (59%, 565 Votes)
- Meghan Stapleton (43%, 409 Votes)
- Talis Colberg (37%, 350 Votes)
- Ted Stevens (31%, 297 Votes)
- Bill McAllister (16%, 151 Votes)
- Brian the Moose (15%, 145 Votes)
- Don Young (13%, 124 Votes)
- Tim Petumenos (11%, 103 Votes)
- Dyson & Doogan (10%, 96 Votes)
- Eddie Burke (7%, 70 Votes)
- Bill Allen (6%, 53 Votes)
- Chuck Kopp (1%, 11 Votes)
Total Voters: 954
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nice list
I voted for Brian the Moose because I believe in punishing criminal behavior in animals. It doesn’t seem to work in humans anyway. But I see that Todd Palin seems to be a popular choice. Maybe I should change my vote. In my Christmas travels I did indulge in some political discussion. I have a twin sister. Although she thinks Sarah Palin is a planetary abomination among intelligent human being everywhere, she thinks Todd Palin is “hot” and a real “hunk”. I was shocked at this secret revelation from my very own sister! But I and her husband am comforted in knowing she won’t be visiting Alaska any time soon. Maybe I should just get her husband a flannel shirt for his birthday this year. Maybe that would give him an edge?
Happy New Year to all Mudflatters worldwide! Thank you, AKM, for the thorough education on all things Alaskan we got this year!
Looks like Todd Palin is winning. AKM have you seen the statement SP released on Adn.com about the birth of the baby?
From Prescott Valley, AZ…………..To The AKM community……….HAPPY NEW YEAR………from Rich,Annette,Jd(dog),Nick(cat)……..going to be a quiet night at home.
SP also left a message to People magazine. Its on there website. All I can say is that she must be reading this blog and palindeception.com.
Really? Todd Palin’s winning?
Well I am not saying he does not deserve some condemnation, but isn’t being married to Queen Sarah punishment enough?
However i am very gratified to see that Meg “the mouth that lies” Stapleton is in second place.
Really? Todd Palin’s winning?
~~~~
That’s almost like saying, “Really Dick Cheney is in the running?”
Since she took #1, has anyone seen this?
http://www.paliban.org/
Well they ALL belong in the “corrupt bastards club” except Brian…he should be give a ….pardon…It was probably afterall a “crime of passion”…and you know since its ah..not a government…issue…that’s all I can say….at this time!
Gryphen – it appears that being married to little miss smarmy is not punishment in the eyes of The First Dud, but as a reward for being a nothing. In other words, were it not for Sarah Palin, The First Dud would simply be… a dud. He loves riding her coattails.
Just got back from watching Marley & Me. Marley is one naughty dog. Naughtier than Brian. After watching that flick, I could never vote an animal as being in the same category of jackassidiness as a human. And, yes, The First Dud is a human. But someone should have done to him what was done to Marley.
GinaMNo Gravatar (18:29:33) :
Looks like Todd Palin is winning. AKM have you seen the statement SP released on Adn.com about the birth of the baby?
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Links Gina!!
Ok who posted the paliban….ugh, I about to be sick here…..harf!
crystalwolf a.k.a. caligrl (18:49:15)
Try going to http://www.adn.com and www palindeception.com
Oops…I mean http://www.palindeception.com
How much fun is this?! I voted for Todd, Meg Stapleton and Ted Stevens. How wonderful it is that AKM has educated us all about these special people!
Happy new year to everyone, from me, my hubby, Mom, and the fuzzy kitties. The teenagers will be out until much later, but I’m looking forward to a long winter’s nap.
Tonights ADN article is a must read. it made me feel so, so over the moon, hard to catch my breath. Its all about spin, baby spin.
SillyWhabbitNo Gravatar (18:42:32) :
Since she took #1, has anyone seen this?
http://www.paliban.org/
———————————-
Holy S**t!
Looks like we had better prepare to take on the Paliban! We can’t let these American Jihadies get going by further hijacking Christianity and the Republican Party. Just say’in.
But, hummm. On further thought, maybe just let them do it as everyone else moves on in free thinking and personal non-organized religion spirituality and real moral responsibility and not top-down-organizational-lobotomized-groupthink in life. Just say’in.
How dare you even put Bruce on the same list as those low life, reprehensible, plague carrying amoebas! You owe Bruce an apology – and apparently a new play set! (his other one got damage by the “I didn’t do it” and “I dunno” gremlins)
Which one, of this sorry dirty dozen, would be held in contempt unanimously by all of the others?
PETUMENOS.
His pants are so firmly pulled down, and entangled around his ankles, that even Senator Larry Craig would avoid him like a festering public toilet-borne plague.
(Happy New Year, Mudflatters)
Love that Paliban site as it is – “The Paliban is a grassroots organization inspired by the principles of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and the Evangelical and Christian Reconstruction movements.”
The headline announcing Tripp’s birth? Hellbound: Palin Bastard Born
Seems bastards can’t go to heaven due to their “understanding” of the scripture.
Now that’s the way to worship a Palin.
WOW . Tough decision. So many worthy choices. Some I can relegate to “not important enough” status (including Todd), but there are sooooooo many worthy candidates.
BigPeteNo Gravatar (19:20:39) :
Which one, of this sorry dirty dozen, would be held in contempt unanimously by all of the others?
PETUMENOS.
His pants are so firmly pulled down, and entangled around his ankles, that even Senator Larry Craig would avoid him like a festering public toilet-borne plague.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(my eyes, my eyes!)
Happy New Year to the great people that contribute to this site and the forum…and especially the creator of it all, AKM.
I had completely blocked Meg Stapleton out of my brain. She really gets on my nerves for some reason. I could see right through her from the second she was talking up SP on Fox News before I really even had a grasp of just how awful SP really is.
It’s a pretty peaceful and clear night in Houston. I can see some fireworks coming from downtown and the Galleria area from my back patio – that must mean that I’m some sort of pyrotechnics expert.
Happy New Year!
I voted for Brian the Moose because he is the only one (besides Sarah) that I will truly remember and the only one that I will want to remember out the entire 2008 fiasco. The rest of them need to be banned to the planet Uranus.
there is something about todd that needs watching …he has a charlie manson kinda look and I also think brian needs a new swing set….
happy new years to AKM and the mudflats community and to all of us a great 2009.
Having inspected the Palinban offerings, I am convinced that it is pure parody.
Happy New Year, all!
Give it to the moose. The SOB stole playground equipment from children, most certainly crapped in the local water supply, scared the bejeejus out of drivers on nearby highways, impregnated virgin moose on the palin “abstinence plan”, supported palin 100 per cent on wolf bounties (duh) and has no first name that starts with a T.
I don’t get the votes for Stapleton. I realize she is what she is but why is she getting more than convicTED Stevens or even petabreath McAllister?
Can someone explain the difference between the two mouthpieces?
oh, and it’s
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !!!!!!!!!!!!
everyone.
Which one, of this sorry dirty dozen, would be held in contempt unanimously by all of the others?
PETUMENOS.
His pants are so firmly pulled down, and entangled around his ankles, that even Senator Larry Craig would avoid him like a festering public toilet-borne plague.
———————————————————-
I agree with Big Pete. Not only did Petumenos use his power for evil and not for good, he merely shrugged when Mrs Palin lied to him – AND he badmouthed Mr Branchflower simply because Branchflower refused to play semantics with Mrs Palin.
Petumenos is every bit as rotten as Alaska’s rotten politicians – and he’s WRONG. I hope his career is on a fast track down said toilet.
Tim Petumenos is the Biggest Loser of 2008.
Happy New Year to Walt Monegan – a REAL man.
HamletsMill! Good to see you!
So many choices, so depressing…
But Brian? He’s just being true to his moose nature. And after all, we’re the ones who are encroaching on his habitat.
Happy New Year One and All!
Great synopsis of the candidates – most entertaining as usual. Thanks for a great year akm. (254% ?)
“Poor child. If only Governor Palin had forced Bristle and Levi Johnston to marry before the child was born! :’( Lord knows she’s got the shotgun!
Jesus weeps, and so do we.” (From the Paliban site)
Now THAT’s funny, I don’t care who ya are!
Brian.Again,,great work AKM,,..
Dud deserves #2 because in the fundy xtian world, you KNOW who pulls Mrs. Palin’s strings. All good GOOD women confer (defer) with (to) their men. If’s he’s not the puppet master, I’ll be AKM’s uncle.
20 days and counting
I agree with whoever said that Todd bears watching. There is something sinister and creepy about him. My 30 year old said the same thing – actually she brought it up. She’s a fairly good judge of character, having worked with a lot of characters at a resident camp. (The camp is great, but some of the staff are not, and do manage to prove their lack of worth and get fired.)
As for the others, in-denial Ted has to be right up there. You can’t convince me that someone who has been in public office that long and has lived more than 80 years didn’t know he was doing something wrong. Unless he’s in the middle stages of dementia, in which case, he shouldn’t be in office any longer anyway.
But poor Brian. Can you imagine how scary that must have been to be nosing around the interesting thing that had bigger antlers than his, and then find it attached? Awwww.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! AKM, thanks for bringing us all together and making the unbearable parts of the campaign bearable. And without you, we never would have known so much about Alaskan politicians. I had no idea what I was missing.
pat, Washington, state:
But poor Brian. Can you imagine how scary that must have been to be nosing around the interesting thing that had bigger antlers than his, and then find it attached? Awwww.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! AKM, thanks for bringing us all together and making the unbearable parts of the campaign bearable. And without you, we never would have known so much about Alaskan politicians. I had no idea what I was missing.
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I know Poor Brian, obeying the “call of Nature” he is the only one deserving of a pardon….
And I second about AKM and Alaskan Politics…
Happy New years everyone in Mudpup land!
Now that’s just damn difficult! So many good choices, so few votes. I just had to go for Doogan/Dyson because of the two fer value. Really, it should be a multi-way tie!
Happy New Year everyone!
I appreciate this site more and more and thanks for the work that you do to keep it going.
I suffer from back problems and have to deal with pain constantly.
I’m up lots of nights and it’s nice to now I can come here and pal around with all of you.
Leave Brian alone! We have juvenile delinquent squirrels and have to put up with their antics. They chewed through 2 screens to get to the bird food we foolishly stored in our porch.
The only animal I do not look at as a gift from God is “Chuck” our resident woodchuck who lives under our shed and loves my garden!
But even he is cute in his own way.
May we all have a wonderful New Year filled with hope and dreams for a fresh start for ourselves and for our country!
Pat how true about Brian ..I had not thought about that…We once had a Akita that got her collar caught on a ring on a bench and she about destroyed the wall way before I got to her and was able to remove the thing that ways following her….
happy new years to all
Hey, if being a baby mama is good enough for Michelle, it’s surly good enough for the Grifter-ette and the Dropout Grifter!
Todd is the power behind the throne–yes, THAT throne. The one that looks like a public hockey rink toilet, that his friend installed in his spare time while on the clock for some other job. Wink wink.
Todd deserves it. While I might give a vote to Brian just for fun, I’m concerned it might hurt his future chances for winning an election as a progressive. Seriously, he’s the smartest one on that list. What is it about Alaska that attracts all these fuzzy brained politicians? It’s like they have fur balls between the ears. Is it from wearing ear muffs too tight? Alaska has a population comparable to the enrollment in Los Angeles’ school, yet the whole state of California–may it’s sun keep shining–would have a hard time coming up with such a stellar list of stars. Yours deserve the red carpet. Or perhaps the politicians here are just smart enough to cover their tracks and get caught less often.
Happy New Year, Alaska. May you ring it in with a governor that gets sloshed enough to decide to, uh, tripp with a total stranger in her, uh, truckk, who turns out is a reporter with the Enquirer, and open her, uh, trapp, which will put her right on, uh, trackk to spill the beans on Everythinggate, which will, uh, trigg-er a really sleazy check out stand cover shot.
But it’ll be OK. She’s forgiven!
I can’t wait to see The Sarah and her Toad showing up to accept their awards like the Homecoming Princess and the Frog.
Looking over the list is like staring into a toilet that needs to be flushed……..twice!!
*banging head on desk that I could actually school someone about who these Alaskans are*
eh, it makes me sound smart anyway……
I agree that Brian deserves a pardon. And not one of those reversible ones, either!
SillyWhabbitNo Gravatar (18:42:32) :
Since she took #1, has anyone seen this?
http://www.paliban.org/
———————————-
Holy S**t!
===============
Double that.
I thought at first it was a parody of religious fanaticism, but no, its religious fanaticism.
It makes me chuckle to see the graphic of Palin’s glasses with the caption about “clear vision”, but scary to see that people think that the opposite of Taliban religious fanaticism is Christian religious fanaticism.
Hate the haters. Oh yeah, that always works… -=:O
Happy new year everyone …
Happy New Year Mudpups!
Well this ballot was riddled with indecision! I finally cast my vote for Talis. Why the kicker was that he Pals around with not one but two corrupt Governors! Blago and SP. Oh and the fact that his job is to make sure the Alaskan people are represented by the law and he blatently disregarded that sacred trust!
Yargh after reading this list it just makes me crazy that these are the corrupt lying idiots running your state and really makes me motivated to give the elected officials in my state the big fish eye!
Please dont yell at me…I did vote. Off topic though…AKM was mentioning your -24 weather. Try ours at -48 (converted from celsius) up here in Northern Manitoba. Truth is…unless we get some snow…it will remain this cold. Did you know that if you through hot tea out a window at this cold level…most of it will freeze before it hits the ground. And yet some fools..like hubby..is going sledding with pals today.
I have missed you all so much…I just get too lost on the forums.
Laurie
Whew, Laurie! I just don’t know how y’all survive those temps. It gets hot here (S. Georgia), but, geez, that’s just too cold to go anywhere. Y’all stay warm! (Hard to pick the 3 most villainous, but I voted, too.)
I’d really like to Brian (and Brenda) get an award, but based on the other “contenders” I’m not really sure the MUDDY is a “good” kinda award–and I like Brian and Brenda. So, how about a special award for “Best Non-Human Spirit of Alaska Critter” or sumthin’ like, for our two favorite moose?
As for the other miscreants, it was a tough pick. I figured Uncle Ted and Todd had to be two. For the third, it was difficult. So many bad’uns, so few picks. So I did it semi-Palin style and went for a “T” name trifecta and picked Talis. I don’t know enough about the sins of the Tim guy, lol.
BTW, Happy New Year to all Muddies, where ever they be. Sunny, windy and cool (about 68F, okay, cool for us) here in FL.
I’m a lawyer, so I took fellow lawyers Colberg and Petumenos’ misbehavior seriously and voted for ‘em. Toad the First Dud also got my vote because his behind the scenes presence reminded me of The Dick (Cheney).
Might AKM consider re-naming the award ” The Puckhead Prize”?
Thanks AKM your blog adds a little pizzaz to my day. Living in TX, there is never a dull moment but now I have learned so darn much about Alaska. I feel like the two states are “kissing cousins”…..we have our own hillbillies too!
CNN has the latest from Sarah:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/01/01/peoplecom-bristol-and-levi-working-their-butts-off-says-palin/
Happy New Year All!
OK – If Sarah says “they are not high school drop-outs”……..lets go with NASCAR lingo – “DNF”…….(did not finish)……..what is the gray area between “DNF” and getting a GED ???………pending??
hmmmm, I’m convinced that Paliban is total parody in much the same way as the Landover Babtist Church site. Unfortunately some people don’t get it.
VOTE FOR BRIAN!
Maybe because I enjoyed his columns in the daily news, I think mudflats is being too hard on mike doogan. He is from fairbanks. By fairbanks standards he is a wealth spreadn’ marxist and also more than a little of a curmudgeon. For the rest of the list, there is an embarassment of riches. My choice is stapleton because she is apparently smart enough to know better. I’m not so sure you could say that about the rest including Colberg.
The similarity between “Paliban” and “Taliban” is more than in name. What a sick, perverse group whose beliefs distort anything that is truly Christian.
palin a christian?? that so funny It made me spit my juice on this computer screen.
somebody is lost here!
OT
Mudflats mentioned on palindeception.com blog comments
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Anonymous Alex said…
Sounds like somebody read the Mudflats example of a proper official statement and realized they’d blown it.
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Re: this
http://community.adn.com/adn/node/136120
At least a whole lotta folks are reading the right blog – this one!
Probably most of you are right in picking Todd but I voted for Bill McAllister basically because he broke my heart. I kind of “adopted” him when he was at KTUU because he seemed so sweet and woebegone. I always fantazied picking out new ties and shirts and jackets for him. He always looked like he had just moved in from the farm. And then one day his ties and shirts improved and he was dressing so much smarter, and THEN came the announcement that he was joining the Palin administration. Okay, I thought, experience, more money, etc. And then right before my eyes he morphed. What happens to these people? Is this Dr. Frankenstein’s castle? McAllister, Megan, and Doogan have all become monsters. Makes a young girl want to weep.
1-Todd Palin- whatever the mechanics of the Palin marraige, Mr Palin’s behavior as First Spouse has been phony bonhomie in public and secretive , over-the-line, and nasty in private.
2- Talis Colberg- How did he pass a bar exam?
3- Dyson and Doogan-Whatever good their constituents see in them they have failed, utterly, to understand that whatever work (with all the big problems facing us in Alaska, there is a lot of work ahead) they do with the governor will be tainted.
The Legislature stood almost idly by while Murkowski made all his messes. We just spent 2 years with the gov and Legs trying to clean up the fallout on that scene- the jury is still out on the effectiveness of that work. Now- that we know this gov has lied to us over and over we are going to trust her to stay on task? Fooey.
We are going to trust that the importance of the tasks ahead will magically force this gov to leave behind well-established patterns of personal behavior and she will enter into this great work cleansed???!! PFFFFTTTT!
If the Legs will not exercise their proper plenary powers to caution and rein in THIS dingbat governor – especially in this year we celebrate 50 years of statehood- I think we must seriously consider a constitutional amendment to make the AG an elected position. We cannot afford many more govs who have the power to stack the decks like the last two.
I believe Brian was framed. There is no DNA evidence linking him to the relocation of the swingset. There were no witnesses. I think it’s a partisan plot to smear him. Maybe Levi got some hockey buddies to move it an frame Brian. That’s it! It was a teenage prank.
I think you should construct a custom made bright red jacket with a little matching hat for Brian to make sure he doesn’t end up mounted over someone’s fireplace. I hear Palin likes mooseburgers and hunts from a helicopter.
Happy New Year to all Mudpups!
(I needed a break from the bowl games) I voted from Brian, but I think he and Brenda need to get a special award: Best Wingnut Mascots, in honor of college football, and so on- I love my Jayhawk, but two moose? Winners, hands down:-)
Other votes: Talis Colberg (if the AK AG would do his job, many of these miscreants would be out-of-office or awaiting trial) and Bill Allen (his money under the table started many housegates and other gates). However, there are good arguments in favor of other choices-
avahomeNo Gravatar (07:37:24) wrote :
CNN has the latest from Sarah:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2
and some of the comments on the article are a scream.
I may use this one by a poster who calls himself ” Steve” :
“The Palin clan is just a heartbeat away from appearing on Cops, staggering around in the front yard of the trailer, shouting obscenities about the retired neighbor’s poodle. ”
………and when Sherry jumps bail – Dog the Bounty Hunter will come after her !!!!
Can’t wait to turn on MSNBC and/or CNN and see SP & TP doing the “perp walk”.
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Perp walk
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The term perp walk is an American slang term which refers to the police practice of intentionally parading an arrested suspect (or “perp”, short for “alleged perpetrator”) through a public place so that the media may observe and record the event. The suspect is typically handcuffed or otherwise restrained, and is often dressed in prison garb.
Purpose and Procedure
A perp walk can be intentional disregard for the privacy of a suspect, for the purpose of bolstering the image of law enforcement, to humiliate a suspect, both, or neither. Perp walks are often done to politicians or businesspeople accused of white-collar crimes (whose reputations may be susceptible to damage by public spectacle).
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ps; Great quote Alice – nice find !
“The Palin clan is just a heartbeat away from appearing on Cops, staggering around in the front yard of the trailer, shouting obscenities about the retired neighbor’s poodle. ”
Even if it is the Feds that take ‘em down ( very likely!)…….I hope the state troopers get to execute the arrest warrant….you can bet the news crews will get a tip !!!!
Happy New Year from sunny southeastern Arizona. I gave Stapleton and McAllister a pass, reprehensible, mendacious sellouts that they are, because they are only doing what they get paid to do. Talis gets paid, of course, but his job is to enforce the laws of the state and the nation and to uphold principles of common law as well, which dictates that subpoenas must be honored. Where is the Alaska Bar Association on this?? But Todd was first on my list – he doesn’t get paid, and probably does more dirty work (for free!) than the rest of them.
Here’s wishing you a better 2009, Alaska.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/polls/515
click on this to vote, plus show Enquirer how much traffic can come from Mudflats……maybe they’ll pay more attention to AK shenanigans and help us make a difference. Yes we can.
Happy New Year from Scottsdale, AZ. I voted for Brian the moose, because he is the only one with with half a brain.
Happy New Year, Mudflatters!
Happy 50 years of statehood, Alaska! Don’t know if you are happy about it, but at least you had a float in the Rose Parade and can fool the rest of the world that you don’t hate the lower 48, you just want their money.
I voted for ConvicTed. He first really hit my radar after I saw him on The Daily Show, screaming NO about that bridge to nowhere! I was so shocked by his behavior, that I watched the re-run with my mother. She was apalled, too. He looked like he should be locked up in a loony bin–oh wait, he’s SP’s mentor–he’s already in the loony bin whenever she’s around. And he’s got a Harvard Law Degree? You can’t tell me he didn’t know what he was doing was wrong….pants are on fire. And his wife is a partner in a law firm? What the hell are these two lawyers trying to do, get thrown into the slammer?
Todd’s the next runner up. Don’t get distracted by the ‘lucky sperm’ looks. SP is just like that, too. Someone with some balls the size of Brian’s needs to go after him. I’m looking forward to the Perp Walk, too.
Lastly, Yon Dung, just because I like to say that about him for screwing up the lady’s name. And that much money, and he can’t say why? WTF?
Alaska, I’m hoping you get to clean up the state this year–that 50 year anniversary is gonna shine a spotlight.
Also, if you can listen to the Capitol Steps from the NPR site, there were some CLASSICS on it! They played it twice on my local station. My entire family was howling with laughter–those guys were funny and talented.
that paliban thing has to be a satire:
Soulgasm: Christians Gone Wild!
12/29/2008
Oversexed so-called Christians are promoting sex toys and depraved intimate relations, saying everything goes . . . as long as you’re married. If you’re not married? It shows you have low self-esteem. Visit the Paliban Daily blog site for the full story!
Then there’s the yard sign at the bottom….
And some of the items in their CafePress shop. I agree. Satire, but quite well done! AKM
T is the letter of the week… Todd, Talis and Ted..
I think I’m too late to vote on this, but I say Brian deserves clemency, perhaps even an official AKM pardon.
As far as the rest of them… wow, perhaps they could share it on a rotating basis.
Happy New Year, everyone! Took my grandson out to a park at a local church today. When we were leaving, he happened to look up and see a red-tailed hawk perched beside the cross on top of the steeple. With the sun setting and shining off the steeple and the hawk, it was a beautiful sight. A wonderful way to start the New Year.
As for the voting, went with the top 3 – TP, HC, and MS. Brian is innocent, I tell you. Can’t blame Brian when swing sets go bad and attack in the middle of the night. I bet that would have been a sight to see.
I’m with you, problem child (20:14:30)
Paliban is a parody, and a pretty good one at that. You can tell by the overabundance of exclamation points!!! Some poor gal by the name of Eileen Tudor-Wright swallowed it hook, line and sinker — at least, in September, anyway.
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I voted for Todd Palin #1.
#1, How stupid is it to be termed “the First Dude”? It makes you think of Jeff Bridges in his role as Jeffrey Lebowski in “The Big Lebowski”. Ha, Todd Palin probably thinks of Jeff Bridges, too…
2. I’ll never forget the look on Todd Palin’s face at McCain’s concession speech. He looked like he could throttle someone. Very angry face, barely holding it in. If he really is the puppetmaster for his narcissist/passive-aggressive wife, he must have felt supremely stifled by the results of the election.
3. He looks sleazy. He looks like he could do something illegal, immoral, and/or fattening. Lose the goatee, Todd.
4. An Alaskan Native with blue eyes? Really?
AKM, that campaign sign reminded me of the one that was from the Deus Ex Malcontent blog that said:
Grandpa (McCain)
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Dingbat (Palin)
I think it could just as easily be Wingnut!
I know of a satire of the company I worked for where there was a photo of the Three Stooges from the newspaper. An English-major wrote the satire about the Chairman hitting the heads of the sales dept with a frying pan while of the photo of the Stooges showed a woman in a 1940s bathing suit, but the caption identified her as a woman working in the company in the early 1990s. People still fell for it, but one 70 YO guy said “that’s not the 1990s woman!” He knew what women of that era wore, but a lot of people fell for it.
This is not very important . . . . but I just opened this thread to see how the voting is going . . . how can Todd Palin get 59%, Maureen Somebody get 42% and Tolis Colberg (whatever) get 32% and then the number four vote getter also gets 30+%. . .where I come from all of the percentages can only add up to one hundred?
Having registered my perplexity, however, what the heck!!! I hope Todd wins.
Each voter can vote for their top 3 choices. AKM
I guess we all know that Sarah Palin likes to use language in innovative ways . . . like when she says Bristol isn’t a high school drop out. Wha?!! WTF?!! Red is green, up is down.
My daughter, all growed now, has a BS from an Ivy League University. . . AND she is a high school drop out. She dropped out of high school to start college at age 16. Then she coulda gotten a diploma, submitting her college transcripts to a high school, but we kinda liked the idea of having her be a high school drop out.
Governor Palin might be able to state, honestly, that her daughter Bristol and Bristol’s baby daddy Levi have not dropped their educations. She can point to their continued efforts to receive an education. But no matter how she spins it, the kids have dropped out of high school. This kind of gobbledegook matters. I don’t think this country can survive much more spin doubletalk nonsense gobbledegook. And I sure hope we’re done electing leaders that practice gobbledegook talk.
I imagine that Palin really wanted was to communicate that Bristol and Levy are continuing their education. I bet what she really wanted to do was get people to stop thinking the kids are dropouts. She could have said she is proud of them, proud of Bristol for finishing high school by correspondence, proud of Levy for acquiring a trade. . . she could have actually avoided using the words ‘dropout’ and limited her comments to how she is proud of them, how she is confident they will find their way to secure, stable, happy futures. She could have skipped the whole education topic. By talking as she did, she actually kinda blundered, reminding everyone that, in actually fact, Bristol and Levy ARE high school drop outs.
Did Track graduate? I’ve tried to find out and can’t.
Nowhere, Alaska certainly bumped my blog ratings for a month. But I think Bill Allen will be the most influential mudder.
There is a Paliban bumper sticker available– Edit: That we may better help you share the good news of the Lord’s justice, we have created a bumper sticker of Deuteronomy 23:2! Check it and other Godly Bible Verse stickers out at: http://www.cafepress.com/paliban.336465196 Bastard Sticker God hates bastards. Get married or get an abortion!
Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub has the technical term for how the site may operate (Poe’s Law).
Toad’s definitely high on my creep-meter here. If she’s the fundamentalist Christian she claims to be, she MUST be bowing and scraping to his will. The bible commands it, yanno.
That Paliban site is something, too. I wasn’t sure if she was parody or not because her links are all real and her bible quotes are too (I checked some myself!). I guess that christian god is a pretty hateful fella after all. Think Rick Warren will mention the Palin bastard thing during the inauguration? (ha!)
I liked this bumper sticker better, though: http://www.cafepress.com/paliban.344751042
Keep America Safe from Witches!