State of the State – A Blizzard of Words!
23 01 2009
Charlie Gibson summed it up best when he described Sarah Palin’s utterances as “a blizzard of words.” So it was with steely resolve and advanced preparation that I donned my metaphorical snow gear, including bunny boots, and sat down to listen to the State of the State address last night. Then I read the transcript. Then I listened to it again. Then I read the transcript. Then I thought that it really did need to be turned in to a blizzard of words, so I visited Wordle, and created a word cloud of the speech, which you can see above. I’ll get back to that in a minute.
I was amazed again at the difference between what she says, and what it feels like she says. When reading the transcript, it’s like wading through a pile of fluffy snow and stumbling over strained Alaskan metaphors buried inside. But when watching her confidence as she speaks, the ease with which she assumes the spotlight, and the assumption that everyone will agree with her, it has an interesting effect. This ability is probably why she’s gotten as far as she has. If her life were a transcript you had to read, she wouldn’t have gotten past the PTA.
After the viewings and readings came the daunting task of finding my way through the blizzard. Fortunately, Andrew Halcro has already begun . By the time I got up this morning, Andrew had almost finished shoveling the sidewalk. What a guy. He compared pertinent passages from last year’s state of the state address, with this year’s address. You can read his blog post HERE.
So now, I’ll take over. Here’s my belated “live” blogging of the state of the state.
First of all… What. is with. the corsage? I do not recall other governors wearing boutonnieres. I feel like I’m watching someone on their way to the Junior Prom.
Lame joke about Mike Gravel.
Barack Obama, the terrorist sympathizer has grace and the ability to lead and we support him. (applause)
George W. Bush – The worst terrorist attack in the history of the United States happened with warning on his watch. But other than that, he “kept us safe” by lying us into a pre-emptive war which killed tens of thousands of people. We thank him for “keeping us safe.” (mild applause)
Thanks to convicTed Stevens. (standing ovation)
Why can’t we all just get along?
When creating the budget we need to be consistent and ignore fluctuations in the price of oil.
We don’t want the federal government’s money to fix bridges and roads. We just want it to support the gas line and the military, and we’ll give the rest back. Just drive slow on that soon-to-collapse bridge on the way to Seward.
We’re going to “hold schools accountable.”
“Culture of Life!” (wild loud applause by Sean Parnell, followed by polite applause from legislators)
Part of the healthcare crisis is due to the fact that we need to eat right and exercise. So do that.
To help you all eat wild food, we’re systematically killing predator animals from airplanes despite the will of the people, so that all animals may survive, especially the ones we want to kill.
We want to be good stewards of the land for our grandchildren and preserve the quality of fisheries, so I personally endorsed a ballot measure which is the first step in allowing a gigantic mine to get its claws into the headwaters of the largest salmon fishery in the state virtually guaranteeing contamination. Remember, God gave us mineral resources, not fish.
We’re committed to studying climate change, denying it exists, altering the findings of scientists, and suing the federal government for saying that it’s causing polar bears to become endangered. (Applause. Surprised nobody yelled, “YEAH!” and pumped their fist in the air) Remember, God gave us the resources, but apparently not the wildlife.
Every problem we have can be solved by a gas pipeline. You betcha.
We need to put thousands of Alaskans to work, and we’ve instituted a hiring freeze.
“The test of leadership is to be prepared.” “Fail to plan, and you plan to fail.” (blink. blink.) Nice quotes. What do you think about that rural Alaska? Emmonak? How did she say that with a straight face?!?
Did she just WINK? Yes, she winked. I had to rewind it to make sure, but there it was. 27 minutes and 54 seconds in to the speech. A wink. I can’t believe she winked.
On the campaign trail she learned about the need to protect her family, and her Alaskan family from the media. So don’t listen to anything they say about her.
“Like a grizzly with cubs,” Sarah Palin is our Great Mother, protecting Alaska against “external sensationalized distractions on the periphery” that “draw us off course.” Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! the national media. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Circle up like musk ox under the Great North Star! Keep outsiders out!
Cheerleader Parnell stands to applaud. Others follow.
I run for the aspirin bottle.
The rest of the speech is full of promises, and “we’re going tos” and “we musts.” 50% renewable energy by 2025? Sounds good. Improve health care? We’ll see. We did save up some money last year, which is good because we need it. In state gas line in 5 years? (Looks at watch) Ready…Go!
What didn’t we hear about? Domestic violence. Substance abuse. Sexual assault. Drop out rate. Child abuse. Suicide. Teen pregnancy. Rural energy crisis. Emmonak and other villages choosing between heat and food. But those things are bummers, anyway.
Now, back to the word cloud. Take a look at it again. The largest words represent the words that were most used in the speech. Look at them. Alaska State Energy Now. In other words, “Drill Baby Drill.” “Drill Here. Drill Now.”
I live in Alaska. I get that energy is important for lots of things. But it isn’t everything. I would like to believe that a Mama Grizzly would care if her “cubs” are without heat, or food, or higher education for instance. But that’s just me.
So break out the bunny boots, because for now, it’s just a blizzard of words.
A bunny boot!
January 24th, 2009 at 7:54 AM
Look up sociopath and see if it reminds you of anyone?
January 24th, 2009 at 8:17 AM
Sounds like SP is auditioning for a spin-off of South Park… what a dope.
January 24th, 2009 at 8:57 AM
ot
thanks, all, for the support.
have i mentioned recently that i love you pups?
and i would jump in the middle of a mudflats crowd anyday.
January 24th, 2009 at 9:02 AM
Re: the conversation between strangelet and grewingk (and others), I think one of the outcomes of the economic meltdown, this recent election and the ‘outing’ of Alaska to the rest of the country will be much closer scrutiny of how federal dollars, collected from US taxpayers, are distributed. Alaskans are aware that their ability to live that rugged individual frontier lifestyle comes, to a significant extent, thanks to Uncle Ted, Yon Doung, and the other providers of federal bacon. Which is why, even when it is revealed that they’ve been naughty boys, it’s hard to let go. (And hence the jubilation that Lisa has landed herself a seat on the Appropriations Committee.)
In my own state, Washington, the rugged individualists east of the Cascades are always bitching about the radlibs in Seattle and their domination of the state’s politics. But wait! The tax money ponied up by the population west of the mountains pays for the communications and transportation infrastructures, agricultural subsidies and other goodies that allow those good folk to live in their rural America bubble.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be able to live in outlying areas (such as the entire state of Alaska) or receive the same kinds of services that are easier and cheaper to deliver to higher density population areas. I am saying that we need to be aware of how much we all benefit from the federal coffers, whether we’re CEOs of large banks, ranchers in Eastern Washington, defense contractors, or people who smugly think moving from the Yukon Delta to Wasilla solves the sustainable lifestyle problem.
The inequity of distribution of federal money is something the general public is just beginning to care about, as we find ourselves in dire economic times, due partly to the squandering of our hard-earned money by those in the government to whom we have entrusted it (and their rapacious private sector buddies). As the only slightly huffy exchange in these comments indicates, there’s a potential for great unpleasantness in the discussion of this issue. Who pays more versus who gets more arguments will inevitably happen, but once we get that off our chests we will work together to see to it that we find better ways of making it possible for all Americans to live decent, healthy lives, wherever they choose to live, whoever they choose to love.
Yes we can.
January 24th, 2009 at 9:04 AM
Dear Alaskans,
I believe I speak for many in the “lower 48″.
Vote her out of office, and let us know what we can do to help.
January 24th, 2009 at 9:16 AM
I’m not sure I understand this.
Doesn’t the governor have to live and work from the Gov.’s mansion 365 days/year?
Doesn’t she have to put in a 40 hour work week to be paid?
How is her time accounted for for her to be paid?
How much vacation time does she have to do all this self promoting?
Can she do a book while she is gov?
Does anybody know the ans to these questions?
how did previous Gov’s work?
January 24th, 2009 at 9:29 AM
Diane:
InJunea can probably tell you about her living in the mansion vs. Wasilla, but did you know the Legislature just started and next week she off on ANOTHER VACATION!!! Fiscal conservative,LOL! I heard some Palin idiots calling her speech “REaganesque” (sp)LOL! Now she’s off on a vacation to a nice warm spot while people in the State of Alaska are freezing their butts off and can’t feed their children….
Gov. Grifter
January 24th, 2009 at 9:58 AM
AKM, Huffpo has a article on Barbie’s corsages:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/24/sarah-palins-corsages-thr_n_160490.html
and a slightly older one that has a pic of her & dud at their prom WITHOUT corsages!!!
I guess she still making up for the prom?
http://www.huffingtonpost(dot)com/2008/11/17/sarah-palin-brings-back-t_n_144451.html
January 24th, 2009 at 10:08 AM
Hi,
Newly registered to this site after enjoying it for months. I hate to have my first comment be about something so petty, BUT…re: the shoes on ebay. Those are some cheap-ass shoes. That brand is a brand that sells to teenagers, so it’s no surprise to me that Sarah’s niece would end up the recipient of them. There is no way the RNC would have bought those shoes. I think I even remember an article somewhere that pointed out the cheapness of these shoes, which were an example of SP’s style pre-makeover. So for me there isn’t the outrage of SP bilking the RNC, but there is the incredible tackiness of the whole thing. I’m sure there have been politicians who have auctioned personal items for charity (PO, when approached by a charity, auctioned off a doodle he did while senator), but to have a close member of your family do it just to keep the dough for themself? Incredible tackiness. Trashiness runs incredibly deep in their family.
January 24th, 2009 at 10:33 AM
FYI, ChicagoMom:
We sold our Governor a pair of red Double Dare Naughty Monkey shoes a couple of weeks ago. She just wore those shoes as John McCain announced Governor Sarah Palin from Alaska as his vice president running mate. Although not everyone agrees with her politics, everyone can agree that she wears “sexy shoes.”
Sydney Mitchell
Shoefly Inc.
DBA: Shoefly + Hudsons
109 Seward Street
Juneau, AK 99801
January 24th, 2009 at 11:25 AM
crystalwolf a.k.a. caligrl (09:58:31) :
I guess she still making up for the prom?
—————————————————-
She is still making up for not being prom queen.
The holdings hands with officials, the winking, the room full of flowers – did Frank Murkowski ever do that?
It’s a scene from Evita.
January 24th, 2009 at 11:43 AM
That yammering SP does . . . that’s “Speaking in Tongues.”
January 24th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
She’s devolving before our very ears; she’s even more inarticulate this year than last. She’s like Darwin in reverse. It won’t be long before her opposable thumbs disappear.
January 24th, 2009 at 3:05 PM
I just had to share this link from the HuffPost regarding Palin’s corsage history
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/24/sarah-palins-corsages-thr_n_160490.html
January 24th, 2009 at 4:28 PM
Thanks Karen Marie for pointing out what I thought was obvious too…Mrs. Palin didn’t really do a State of the State address. It seemed more like a state of her mind address. She casually slipped in the reality of Sarah’s Alaska when she mentioned that the gas line will benefit the “rail belt” a geographically small corridor up the middle of the state. Not all the way to any of the edges, this is also known as the “replication corridor”…where Alaskans try to live like they’re down south. It won’t help the northern villages or the western towns or the relatively citified areas of southeast Alaska. Thanks again, Mrs. Palin.
January 25th, 2009 at 9:49 AM
[...] can read the hysterical Mudflats post here, and here is the [...]
January 25th, 2009 at 12:39 PM
She can’t speak in metaphors very well. She tried to sound wise. She sounds silly: Today, when challenges may seem as high as Mt. McKinley, and change as constant as the mighty Yukon flows, and political events send shockwaves through our foundation like the ‘64 quake – what do Alaskans do? We climb Denali, we forge the river, we rebuild a stronger foundation on higher ground.
Who writes this crap?
January 25th, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Tina G– I just went to the corsage site. Why is she wearing satin? Pageant princessi know that satin puts 20 pounds on you when the light reflects it. Bad, bad governor!