The Fish Story Gets Fishier… (UPDATED)
30 06 2009For those of you keeping up with the ‘fish story’ coming out of Emmonak, check out Kyle Hopkins’ Village blog. Here is my ‘reduced’ version of how I imagine the scene in the governor’s spokeswoman’s office. But do read the whole thing HERE.
Read as a monologue, with Kyle Hopkins providing the voice on the phone.
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(Sitting alone in office, the spokeswoman claps her hands together, rubbing them vigorously)
The news is good! It’s so good they won’t dare report it! Haha! That CNN reporter will have egg on his face now. : )
(spins around on swiveling office chair)
(phone rings)
Hellooo…
(phone noise like Charlie Brown’s teacher)
What? What do you mean why do we think it’s good news? Because it’s good, that’s why.
(Wah wah wahhh waaaaaahhhh wahhh wah)
What do you mean it isn’t good. Nick Tucker said it was good. Who did you ask?
(waah wah waaah waaaahhhh)
You asked Nick Tucker?
(waah waah wah)
And he said it was bad?
(Waaaaahhhhh)
And he wants us to ….what?
(Wahh wah waahhh)
He wants us to take it back? But, that’s what John Moller said he said.
(wahh wah waaahhhh wah wahhhh)
Well, he’s out fishing, so he can’t be reached.
(wah wah wahhhh wah waaahh)
OK…..
(hangs up phone)
Crap.
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UPDATE:
“The good news – At the Federal Subsistence meeting in Emmonak last week, Nick Tucker reported that 50 percent of the residents have met subsistence needs and other 50 percent are confident they will meet their needs.”
So said Palin spokeswoman Sharon Leighow via email to ADN reporter Kyle Hopkins.
This morning, Dennis Zaki, was in Emmonak, and talked to Tucker himself. Video will be available shortly, but here are excerpts from his interview.
Nicholas Tucker, Emmonak resident and fisherman:
When I’m talking with people I’m straight forward. OK, I expect to say my piece, just the way things are, and I want that in return…just the way they are. No buttering up, nothing added. Just the truth. Now, I did not say that. I want a public apology and I want that taken back. That statement was made by an Alakanuk fisherman at our meeting, and that represented Alakanuk.
When we go up and down the village here, you don’t see the smoke houses all filled up. That statement I believe, is understated.
I think we’ve never had this experience. Two years in a row…no commercial fishing, and … this winter that we went through, for many of our villages…and now we’ve had this major flood that destroyed and demolished some properties, destroyed homes, damaged some homes, and now no chinook subsistence fishing, and that piles up…and it hurts. And I don’t know what we’re going to do for this coming winter.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:11 PM
Finally – the story is on the front page of ADN, as a supplement to the “protest fishery” in Marshall:
http://www.adn.com/rural/western/story/849358.html
Go Nick Tucker!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:14 PM
Just thinking does everyone E-Mail Gov.with questions about things that should be fixed or the lack of action for the Villages? I don’t know if it would help but who knows? If enough Americans show interest in native problems something might happen.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:16 PM
Regarding beating Obama in a long race, seems to me they’ve already had a long race and, umm, Obama won!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:21 PM
Ah. *That’s* the story she was hoping CNN wouldn’t air.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:25 PM
I mentioned Dennis Zaki and have 20 recommends on that post.
Also mentioned links to two AKM posts and have 22 recommends on that one.
Far as I can tell, all posts are calling out Palin on that twit post!!!
Keep them coming!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:33 PM
So Moller is fishing?
“He is fishing today out of cell range,”
Oh the irony of that. They could have come up with a better story than that! He may have been out of cell range, but I’m betting he was well within “Twitter Range” and he is being thrown under the bus. Tomorrow we will see one of 2 things.
#1. He will acknowledge he got the facts wrong and will continue to research the issue.
#2. We will never hear from him again as he has been fired for making false statements to Ms. Palin and making her tweets look ridiculous.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:35 PM
That was the information from John Moller,” Leighow wrote. “He is fishing today out of cell range.
Yep, he is. But he’s got a VHF radio! And a ship-to-shore! Probably a side-band and a CB as well.
I bet the marine operator would have no problem putting a call through from the Governor…
June 30th, 2009 at 8:39 PM
Moller isn’t out of cell range, he’s having a KitKat moment! He has to figure out what he has to say next to make his story sound plausable.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:41 PM
Is Moller incapable of operating the ship’s radio?
June 30th, 2009 at 8:49 PM
M. Bergert…….LMAO! A KitKat moment. Perfect!
I think the Gov is munching a few of her own KitKats on several issues tonight.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:51 PM
So the NEW spokesperson can’t be found either, heh heh. Still going through the matrixing sequence – it takes a couple of weeks to rip out all of the independent thoughts and replace them with I WILL RULE THE WORLD stuff by SP. There’s a snark bath to soak in at the end, with a blue pill and note neatly laid out next to the tub. The note says “You WILL take the blue pill, the red ones don’t exist!”
June 30th, 2009 at 8:51 PM
Well, when Sarah Palin is finally persona non grata (and there is a video on foxnews that seems to say she already is) then I think we should all send her emails saying that we know the job market is tough, and she might have to leave her home to find work. We can make a video like she did from Emmonak, and say don’t worry, it will be okay…remember when Todd left his village? So you’ll be okay when you’re unemployed and can’t feed your family. Just leave all those kids and go find work where someone will pay you. You have the boots…
June 30th, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Moller must be on one of those “Deadliest Catch” programs…caught in a no-zone…
June 30th, 2009 at 8:58 PM
I would love to see a photoshop of this whole thing with the Gov frantically eating KitKats and reading all the ish on the internet about her, with Moller out on a fishing boat throwing his blackberry overboard asking himself….How did I get here?
June 30th, 2009 at 9:40 PM
OMG you all are so funny!!! You should write a movie script.
June 30th, 2009 at 9:49 PM
Did anyone hear Al Frankin today?
He’s going to be on the Indian affairs committee.
He said his biggest challenge would be catching up as the most junior Senator.
Except maybe the biggest challenge would be something he didn’t think would be the biggest challenge.
Anyway, he may be approachable as he seeks to educate himself about native ‘Indian’ issues.
June 30th, 2009 at 9:52 PM
A Kit Kat moment? Or a Southwest Airlines moment? Moller picks up the paper when he gets back from “fishing” and sees the comments from Nick Tucker. Then comes the voice over “Want to get away?” And can she really throw him under the bus? Or has she had to get another bus because there is probably no room left under the first bus?
June 30th, 2009 at 10:10 PM
Nice to see you Dr. Chill
If anyone had any doubts about Palin throwing Moller under the bus (and we all know she will) I think that the prelude has already been made…
…..”Ten times over, I’ve never said that. It was from one fisherman in Alakanuk,” Tucker said in a short phone interview. “I do not believe that we in Emmonak — Emmonak never said that.”
The governor’s response? Moller, the rural advisor, is the one who knows about that, Leighow e-mailed. But he’s on personal leave……..
June 30th, 2009 at 10:18 PM
@ bucfan
“Or has she had to get another bus because there is probably no room left under the first bus?”
Heh heh…good one.
June 30th, 2009 at 11:31 PM
John Moller will be her next “victim” for delivering faulty information that made her look stupid. Another “under the bus” person. This administration has the largest number of chronic LIARS I have ever seen. Time to pay the piper.
June 30th, 2009 at 11:37 PM
Perhaps Moller is trying to catch fish for Emmonak. They apparently, unlike him, can’t go fishing.
July 1st, 2009 at 3:58 AM
gone fishing and cant be reached? Like Fredo in the Godfather?
July 1st, 2009 at 4:08 AM
122 sjk from the belly of the plane Says:
July 1st, 2009 at 3:58 AM
gone fishing and cant be reached? Like Fredo in the Godfather?
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Or is he fishing with Dr. CBJ ??
July 1st, 2009 at 5:17 AM
KTUU: Conflicting info on fish runs coming out of Yukon River
“Palin Twittered good news to her followers this weekend, writing that 50 percent of Emmonak residents have already met their subsistence needs, and that she’s confident that others can do the same.
Her office says that report comes from rural advisor John Moller, and says he based that information on comments made by a fisherman there, Nick Tucker.
But Tucker says he never made such a statement, and that it was a different fisherman, from the nearby village of Alakunak, who made the remarks.
Channel 2 News has been seeking clarification about the governor’s reported numbers since Sunday and thus far has not successfully connected with Moller.”
http://www.ktuu.com/Global/story.asp?S=10623315
July 1st, 2009 at 5:55 AM
M bergert: I love this blog because the people are so funny. good one!!!!
Moller isn’t out of cell range, he’s having a KitKat moment!
July 1st, 2009 at 6:00 AM
where is the new Communications guy? Anyone? Bueller?
July 1st, 2009 at 6:04 AM
Moller needs to learn to pray to the palin god…right away. She’s going to swarm in a few, when she finds out that her info was bogus, and she fell for it…again. (either that, or she knew it was false, and hoped the people would not doubt the word of the almighty palin.)
July 1st, 2009 at 6:05 AM
Maybe he’s not fishing, but sleeping with the fishies?
July 1st, 2009 at 6:59 AM
Naw, he’s fishin’…
Not doing too badly. The price is so-so, but it beats western Alaska.
SE Alaska & Yakutat Estimated Salmon Harvest by Area
Based on ADF&G management estimates and fish ticket data.
http://www.cf.adfg.state.ak.us/region1/finfish/salmon/salmon_hvst_area.php
http://www.cf.adfg.state.ak.us/region1/finfish/salmon/salmon_hvst_gear.php
Yep, get somebody with black hair that commercial fishes. Bam, there you go – all them villages will be able to relate. You know how that works with ‘tokens’: a woman will be trusted by all women, a black guy will represent all minorities.
Back in the day, there was a term – “apple”. An apple is red on the outside, white inside.
July 1st, 2009 at 7:48 AM
It was those two guys from Montreal again:
Huh, Sarah, this is John. Got your good news tweet for today.
John, so good to hear from you again. Send me the twit.
Uh, that guy. The Emmonak guy. Tha old guy.
You mean Mr Taylor?
Uh, Yeah. Sounds like him.
Nick Taylor has good news?
Yeah. The fish. About the fish.
Oh, good. What about the fish?
Uh, well, half the fish. Everybody in Emmonak has half a fish.
That’s good? I don’t understand.
Uh. (Tone of panic) Everybody is supposed to have a fish, right? To get them through the winter.
Yes, everybody needs a fish. God says…
Well half the people have half a fish and some don’t have their half yet, but this old guy, he says he’s got his, and half the people he knows have theirs and the others will all get theirs befor the snow flies. And some have loaves.
Ooh! Loaves too? Well then, that is good news. Loaves and fishes. You can’t question loaves and fishes. There will be plenty for every soul. Maybe cookies too, also. Oh, thank the lord. I was so worried. About those poor natives. Thank Mr Taylor. And John? Well done!
July 1st, 2009 at 9:48 AM
I wonder how long it took Moller to find another guy named Nick Tucker from whom he could get an acceptable quote?
July 1st, 2009 at 10:35 AM
@Kate in Canada: LOL! Loved it!
July 1st, 2009 at 3:14 PM
@Kate in Canada: Ditto on the LOL. Thanks for the laugh.
July 1st, 2009 at 11:29 PM
Sadly, Nick Tucker has not received an apology from anyone in the administration. See Ann Strongheart’s story on anonymous bloggers. Sarah should apologize.
It sounds like it will be another hard winter in terms of food at least.
I was listening to my favorite left-wing radio station on the way home from work and there was a great story. I will have to give you just the gist of it.
Somewhere in the US a small bunch of Baptists decide to picket a Jewish temple. Why? Because they are Jewish and because they welcome members of the LGBT community into their place of worship (oh good heavens, we can’t have that!)
Apparently (I believe they said 6) members of the Baptists (they said something about family members that I didn’t quite get) showed up to picket.
What did the leaders of the temple do?
Wait for it…
They decided to have a fundraiser: People donated $1 for every minute that the picketers stood out there.
They made $10,000 in 50 minutes.
Just think what an Anchorage Assembly meeting could raise. We could feed people, buy fuel, rebuild Eagle for goodness sake.
I thought it was beautiful.
Fundraiser anyone????
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 AM
Welcome back Dr. Chill. You done good!!!!
July 3rd, 2009 at 5:05 AM
this was posted on the open thread for July 3. re-posting it here because it should not be missed.
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Aussie Blue Sky Says:
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:16 AM
Q&A with Palin’s rural adviser, John Moller
“You know Nick Tucker and I had a number of conversations over the, over the course of a couple of the days. And I don’t know if that was Nick, if he mentioned it specifically. I know there was a fisherman, I’d have to go back and look at my notes, that mentioned it at the subsistence board meetings. And a number of folks over the course of the next day that mentioned to me that you know, quite a few of them had gotten, gotten their subsistence needs. … (Palin spokeswoman Sharon Leighow) mentioned it to me that Nick Tucker — was, was referenced as the source of information on that 50 percent and if … I made that assertion and that’s not correct, I’ll have to call Nick and tell him I’m sorry. But I talked to many, many people over those two days … and I heard it on numerous occasions that people were getting their needs.”
http://community.adn.com/adn/node/142167