The Mudflats

Uh oh.  What’s a soon-to-be-ex-almost-one-term governor to do when only one third of her own party thinks she’s qualified to be president?

A majority of Americans think Sarah Palin is stepping down as Alaska’s governor for political reasons, according to a new national poll, with a majority of Republicans now saying that they do not believe that Palin would be an effective president.

Only 33 percent of Republicans questioned in a CBS News survey released Monday night say that Palin would have the ability to serve effectively as president. Last fall, 71 percent of registered Republicans felt that way.

There’s one sure fire way to fix that little problem.  If you just form your very own party, then everyone who signs up will support you!  That’s an impressive 100%, as compared to that feeble sounding 33%.  Ah, what a little number crunchery can do.

These are the rumblings and grumblings coming from the GOP, that Palin may get mavericky once again, and branch out on her own.  Will she or won’t she?  Should she or shouldn’t she?  Mike Huckabee, one of the few potential Republican nominees in 2012 who remains standing, after not going hiking on the Appalachian Trail, and not calling our next Supreme Court Justice a racist, thinks she should stay.

“I hope she remains — let me be real clear — a part of the Republican Party,” Huckabee told FOX News. “I’m a little concerned when I hear her say that she may sort of branch out and go third party or go independent. That would be a big mistake because we need to rebuild the Republican Party, not abandon it.”

Concerned?  Why would he be a little concerned that his potential rival might leave the party?  Perhaps he has a calculator.  And perhaps he did the math.  If 21% of Americans are Republicans, and 33% of those are somehow convinced, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary that Sarah Palin is actually qualified to hold the highest office in the land, that means that … (tap tap tap on calculator)… if she leaves, the GOP will consist of… (tap tap)… a whopping 14.1% of Americans.  That’s like when you tally up the number of animals remaining of an endangered species, and you know that it’s just not going to make it.  14.1% is just not a viable party.  Pardon me while I get a hanky and cry my eyes out.

And then there are those (probably the same ones that said that Palin walking out in the middle of her first term in office was brilliant political strategy) that think the whole third party thing is the Republican Party itself being ‘crazy like a fox.’  They say the reall problem is that they need to take back the party from the looming threat of… Ron Paul. See, the third “conservative” party, which would be doomed to failure (because they all are), would somehow serve to brilliantly outflank the Libertarian Republicans and then become reabsorbed back in to the Republican Party, leaving it better than ever!  Or so the theory goes.

Sarah Palin and Joe Scarboroughare part of a much larger and very clever rebranding process that seems to be grass roots but in our estimation is being run by Republican power brokers. There are probably no accidents in politics as Franklin Delano Roosevelt famously said, and the current expansion of the “conservative” trend is no accident either. It is not aimed at the Democrats, or even Barack Obama so much as it is aimed at controlling what such power brokers believe is truly dangerous, Libertarian Republicans and Ron Paul.

 Whatever.

I say, yes.  Do it Sarah Palin!  Your country needs you to form a third party.  You show those good ol’ boys what you’re made of! (Double checking calculator display to make sure it still says 14.1%)  Yup, you know they’re going to be expecting politics as usual.  So, do what you do best.  The opposite.  See that door that says “Third Party?”  I’m sure I see a crack in that door.

But somehow “Third Party” or “Conservative Party” lacks a certain Palin pizazz.   So please use this thread to come up with your own name for Palin’s future party.  Who knows?  It may be so inspiring that she’ll decide to just go for it.  I’ll leave the thread up and in a couple days, I’ll put your best names in a poll and we’ll vote.  It’ll be a great way to celebrate her last week as governor.

There’s only one name that’s strictly out.  It’s already been used once in history, and a certain Mudflats mascot would take strong objection.  No “Bull Moose Party.”