Palin Ebay Auction – The Plot Thickens… (Updated)
17 09 2009Every morning when I sit down before the glowing screen with my mug of high-octane liquid sunshine, I wonder what will be revealed. There’s never a dull day, really, and more often than not there’s at least one thing that really surprises me.
This morning it was an email from one of the bidders on the Sarah Palin dinner on Ebay! As you know, I’ve been following the bidding on this auction with a certain fascination. I just can’t stop watching. The identities of the bidders are cryptic disguised aliases containing multiple asterisks. Now we know who one of them is.
Ken Morris is a former Wall Street Executive turned novelist. (financial thrillers Man in the Middle and The Deadly Trade). His third novel, Evil Shall Break, is currently being shopped to New York publishers. He’s given me permission to reprint his post in full. Thanks, Mr. Morris. Good luck. We’ll be watching.
And sadly, Mudflatters, I did not make the “short list” of dinner guests Mr. Morris is contemplating bringing to the dinner, but I have offered to act as an alternate should any of the other four be unavailable that evening.
I’m trying to buy Sarah Palin. Actually, I’m trying to rent lovely Sarah and husband Todd for a few hours.
And, believe it or not, there’s nothing nefarious about this: I’m not a lobbyist for health care or big tobacco or any of a hundred other special interests that fill political coffers, expecting a political payback. No, this is 100% legit. The ex-governor of Alaska has put herself up for auction on Ebay with proceeds to benefit Ride 2 Recovery (an organization dedicated to the health and wellness of wounded soldiers). I’m bidding to purchase a “DINNER FOR FIVE WITH SARAH PALIN”. As the Ebay auction site says, “This is the chance of a lifetime…” The event is to be four hours maximum, I’ll provide my own transportation, and I’ll pay for dinner. Hey, I’m fine with that. I’ll even throw in a couple bottles of champagne. If Sarah or Todd like thrillers, I’ll give ‘em free copies of my first two. Signed. You betcha.
My bid was submitted Tuesday night. Within five minutes, I received a call from a super nice man representing Ride 2 Recovery asking if I was “for real”. I guess since the minimum bid is $25,000, there are, as he indicated, “…a lot of nuts out there.” While I’m sometimes kooky, I’m no nut. My bid is uber-sincere. Excuse me if I seem a little star-struck, but I find this tres cool (this is, after all, Sarah Palin, political super star, ergo I’m permitted to be struck, okay?).
At first, I was nervous about a required background check. Here’s where I thought it’d get a little interesting. Reason? For starters I voted for and contributed money to President Obama. However, that shouldn’t eliminate me as being unsuitable “based on her (Sarah’s) subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background, and other factors.” If nothing else, however, I am 100% positive ex-Governor Palin would agree that political differences, especially as she has a son serving honorably in the service, shouldn’t be placed in the way of raising money for veterans.
In that spirit, I pledge that when we meet, I’ll be polite, respectful, professional, and as charming as an ordinary guy meeting an icon can be. If we get this done and Ms. Palin approves of my donation, I pledge here and now not to talk about her kids, Levi Johnson, Vanity Fair, The National Enquirer, or Katie Couric.
And, after all, when Governor Palin ran for national office, she was in line to become not just the Vice President of Republicans. She’d have been my Veep as well.
As it turns out, for whatever reasons, I was approved. My money’s up there on Ebay, competing away with four others for the Palin dining rights. Go figure.
The twenty-five thousand dollar question now becomes: why would I want to have dinner with Ms. Palin? For starters, this country needs sit-downs and face-to-faces with people straddling different fences.
More to the point, though, there are important issues I’d like to discuss with Ms. Palin, issues that trouble me deeply. She has, I suspect, insights into these matters that are worth plumbing and worth paying for (please all, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt); and though it may sound hyperbolic, my peace of mind is at stake.
There exists an emotional divide in this country that I’ve not experienced since I attended the University of California near the end of the Vietnam War. As a protester who took to the streets post the bombings of Cambodia and being tear-gassed on three occasions and nearly arrested twice, I was part of the schism that ripped apart our generation. While leaving scars that thickened the hearts of many from that era, the ending of the war allowed for a healing to begin. Painful, but now mostly a distant memory.
Today’s rancor, however, troubles me more profoundly. Why? Maybe it’s because I don’t see a catalyst—like the end to a tragic war—that will magically lead us to end this political divide. Politically biased “news” channels, over-heated rhetoric by bloggers, and (in my view at least) the demise of investigative mainstream journalism and the role of Watergate-like Fourth Estate, are here to stay. This period has more the odor of the Civil Rights debate that ripped apart the South during the administrations of President Kennedy and Johnson. A rift that has never been bridged.
How, I’ll ask Ms. Palin, can we work together (“we” meaning not just her and me, but all people on both sides of the political fence) to begin to fix this? I’ll ask her a few questions that might seem harsh, but aren’t intended to offend—after all, we must be honest, no? Do your regret saying several hundred times that our president “…palled around with terrorists…”? Do you really believe that providing health insurance to all Americans is socialism or fascism or Nazism or that there are truly ‘death squads’ in these proposals? I’ll likely feel compelled to suggest that she doesn’t, in her heart of hearts, actually believe any of these things (if she does, then this will give her a chance to educate and win me over). In any event, doesn’t she think we should all tone down the rhetoric? Angry mobs and gun-toting advocates can’t be in anyone’s best interests.
I’d also suggest that she ix-nay the Glenn Beck recommendations: after all, the man called our president a “racist”. Surely that’s not a healing kind of thing to say; not to mention that for a half-white man raised by a white mother and grandmother, being labeled racist sounds on face absurd.
As Ms. Palin is a born-again Christian, maybe we’d begin dinner by reading Colossians 3:13:
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Amen to that.
Now, all I have to do is figure out who to invite (the short list: Olbermann, Maddow, Shannyn Moore, and, of course, Bree Palin). Oh, and I wonder if the Palins like Mexican. Solving the political divide over nachos?
As it says on the auction page: Value: Priceless.
www.financialthrillers.com
Author: Man in the Middle (Best Mystery of 2003)
Author: The Deadly Trade (”Too good to miss!” Minneapolis Star Tribune)
“Nobody ever put down a Ken Morris Thriller” Jim Cramer, host of Mad Money.
UPDATE! – We’ve got a new bidder in the mix, folks! Meet “t***w” who has knocked f***l out of the number one spot with a bid of $42,800! Three rapid-fire bids within an hour and a half…
UPDATE 2 – Wow. We’ve got a bidding war, folks! A brand new Ebayer with a zero rating popped in out of nowhere, but was quickly outbid. And our friend e***r of the un-round numbers is back with a bid of $52,006.66. Hmmm.
But it looks like the real drama is between c***i and f***l. It’s a battle to the death with a pricetag of over $50,000! That’s some spendy Taco Bell, my friends. f***l has been in this from the beginning. Many tried to knock him off the high bid, and failed, but now it’s finally been done. c***i is King of the Ebay Hill with a bid of $53,500. Yowza.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:52 AM
The bidding is up to $53.706.66 as of 7AM EST but if you read carefully you will find that the dinner bill is paid for by the SELLER. That means our author friend or who ever wins will not have to pay for all the Taco Bell.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:53 AM
c***i is high bidder at $54,407 last I checked, t***t was in in there too. My past experiance with ebay has been the numbers will skyrocket toward the end. And of course there are always the snipers. I’m guessing that it’s preplanned for Palin’s (Murdoch’s?) choice to snipe at the last minute. I had sniping down to a science back in the day (o:
September 18th, 2009 at 6:06 AM
Oh, I stand corrected. The proceeds are going towards veterans. Sorry! I just figured this was another fundraising thing for SarahPAC =D
Good luck Ken Morris! Oh to be a fly at dinner with Sarah, Todd, Ken Morris and Rachel Maddow!
September 18th, 2009 at 6:42 AM
In a perfect world, some movie studio would covertly bid and hire somebody to pose as a bidder for the background check, win the auction, plant bugs, cameras and other equipment used at the CIA and have a relaxed, off the cuff, wonderful evening with Sarah. Fuel her ego, agree with her, tell her she was AMAZING during the campaign, right on with that terrorist pal stuff, deserved to be at the top of the ticket, smart about being a good basketball player and passing the ball (must research that nut bag line again, so you could quote it correctly)….get her all cringe worthy confident, smug enough to start poking her tongue on the side of her cheek as she does so well and then just as the meal is over, lower the boom, “Sarah, tonight’s dessert is Humble Pie. Your security dudes are outside the door getting drunk on tequila shots that I happily provided and now it’s just us. You, me, Turd, er, Todd….and we need to talk.”
Tell her she’s now a real movie star. In her OWN words.
Edit the movie, give it an appropriate title…
Indigestion: Dinner With A Dingbat
And once again, let her own words take that dipstick down.
I can’t stand that woman.
Obamanos!
September 18th, 2009 at 6:45 AM
Obamanos, I like the way you think!
September 18th, 2009 at 7:14 AM
It’s at $60,000 now. Nice idea Obamanos but if you read the description, contract etc. – it ain’t gonna happen )o:
September 18th, 2009 at 8:51 AM
The description of her “appeal” on the ebay listing is a little thin. It says briefly that Barbara Walters annointed her “one of the most fascinating people of 2008″ — and then, oddly, a whole paragraph about Track:
“Her oldest son Track enlisted in the U.S. Army on September 11, 2007, and was subsequently assigned to an infantry brigade. He and his unit deployed to Iraq in September 2008 for 12 months.” Wha???
Then the covenants and restrictions bit… So, $60,000 so far for a has-been celebrity (who, guess what, is not the only Army mom in the US!) — whose son is probably home now and would like to come to dinner too…
“Wanna see my tats?”
September 18th, 2009 at 10:28 AM
Well it looks like Mr. Morris knocked himself right out of the bidding. After Palin reads this blog post, and we all know she will, she’ll interpret his curiosity and openness as a threat to her. She can’t take any kind of constructive criticism and that’s the way she’ll understand it.
Too bad. He sounds like an open minded, thoughtful guy. He also sounds like he’d be fun to have dinner with.
But he voted for “the enemy”.
And that’s all she wrote, folks!
September 18th, 2009 at 10:31 AM
Doesn’t Scarah have a disclaimer that she can cancel at the last minute for no reason at all?
September 18th, 2009 at 11:57 AM
I would also like to bid on a dinner with Mr. Morris! He should sign himself up for a similar auction (whether or not he wins, but especially if he wins). He could find a similar charity benefiting Vets. . .perhaps one that is literary/books based. I’d sure bid on it!
We have a great volunteer project in my state that contributes to the media and library resources of the local veteran’s hospital. Something like that.
I suspect there are many more Americans similar to Morris, who care enough about our country to listen to and talk with those we disagree with. Who exercise our freedom in the way it was intended. We just need to make the effort to make our voices heard.
It doesn’t mean that those inhabiting the nether regions of political discourse should change their stance one whit. Just that it is time for more moderate Americans, from the Left and the Right, to speak up, ADD their voices and contribute to the ‘grey area’ — embrace the contradictions and the facts that cannot be entirely pigeonholed — in a thoughtful manner. So many seem to prefer the safety and simplicity of the partisan stance. . .but there is so much more to American life than simple partisanship can ever provide us.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:06 PM
Well, f***l won $63,500….now we can sit around and speculate who’s the f***l (o:
September 18th, 2009 at 5:14 PM
Does F***l stand for foool??
September 18th, 2009 at 11:23 PM
f***l = the “winner” is Cathy Maples of Huntsville, Ala., who said: “I’m a big advocate for Sarah Palin. I think she has a lot of morals, and I would love to see her as president of our country.”
A real “winner.”
http://www.adn.com/palin/story/940362.html?commentSort=RecommendationsDescending&pageNum=1#Comments_Container
September 19th, 2009 at 1:10 AM
Ok – does anyone find it weird that this Cathy Maples that won the dinner LIVES in Alabama??? And is a defense contractor ??????
DIdn’t the dinner location get changed a few days ago from Alaska to Alabama?? And is it at all odd that this woman also met Palin twice recently ??
Something is smelling slayed salmon fishy. ( not that we didn’t expect that it was going to be rigged but c’mon – cover it better wouldya? She just HAPPENS to live in Alabama??)
( Do I have the AL thing correct? I almost hope I’m wrong!)
September 19th, 2009 at 1:15 AM
I agree, buffgal! Something just doesn’t sit right on this.
I also too would have thought it would be some kind of “famous” person winning… for a “regular” person to throw that kind of cash around for a less than four hour meal with SP just seems odd.
“Famous” folks wouldn’t consider it more than mere petty cash. A “Regular Working Stiff” would have to re-mortgage the house.
Is this tax deductible since the Road 2 Recovery folks are involved?
September 19th, 2009 at 1:21 AM
Samper – I thought I saw something about tax deductions on one of the threads but it’s all a blur now.
I had a feeling that a regular ol’ American would win but thought perhaps the money would be paid by deep pocket handlers. But c’mon – they expect us to believe this one ??? Someone messed up by changing the location from AK to AL. There is no way that’s a coincidence.
And a defense contractor, of all things! Total setup.
September 19th, 2009 at 3:40 AM
Someone should complain to eBay! Other people were bidding in good faith and this is rigged. Changing the location to Alabama right before it started? Give me a break. It’s a fraud!
September 19th, 2009 at 5:15 AM
BGal and others – If you click on ‘revisions’ after going to the description it says “state/province changed from __ to Alabama” Sept. 8 /Sept 9 so it was revised quite a while back.
BGal you are not crazy – originally it said “AL” in the description and there was confusion (and laughter) that they meant “AK”. What I find odd is now I can’t find Alabama in the description but oh well!
Hubby’s theory is that Track is gonna be sent to Ft. Rucker (sp.?) Alabama before returning home so dinner will be w/him too. Happy, happy joy, joy for the fawning winner and oh so appropriate for the cause o:
September 19th, 2009 at 5:35 AM
Michigander – I like hubby’s theory. It’ll be fun to see if that plays out.
I was going to contact Ebay to ask what that revision meant (does it still say AL or has it been changed again?) I did see that it was changed early on and that it coincided pretty closely with Maples beginning bid. ( i think i read that correctly)
But! I’ve decided to not care. If it was fixed, so be it. Everything she does is fixed so why not a charity auction ? I hope the soup’s cold, the bread’s stale and that a server with swine flu (sorry AKM) coughs onto the overcooked pasta. argh.