The Mudflats

~Velcome….velcome to the chamber of horrors! Muahahaha. I did enjoy giving Sean Hannity a little Halloween costume. (rubbing hands together like a fly)

OK ghouls and goblins, Shannyn Moore is broadcasting from her usual location, which is fairly horrifying even on a regular day – the studios of conservative talk radio KBYR. (insert witch cackling noise here)

The terrifying topics today will include – Bill Allen, and the shadow of the net profits tax, Dick Cheney and the recent revelations about his cold black heart, and of course the blood-curdling tale of our own ex-governor, who simply had to point her bony finger at the NY District 23 congressional race to send the Republican candidate screaming into the woods. Now the field is wide open for the conservative candidate to descend upon the district, and prey upon the souls of the innocent (presuming they are stupid enough to vote for him).

Candy corn? Check
Mulled cider? Check
Flashlight? Check
Necklace of garlic? Check

OK. Enter at your own risk….

Live Stream it HERE.

Time:  5-7pm Alaska time, 6-8pm Pacific, and 9-11pm Eastern.

Give a call, and live blog it in the comments!

The number is 907.274.5297. The toll free number (in state only) is 866.610 5297

~Brian the moose scales the tower of teabags in the entryway of KBYR.

Happy Halloween Mudflatters! I got this submission from a reader we’ll just call “Eddie Fireplace Palin,” and in the holiday spirit, I thought I’d share with all of you. As you chomp your candy corn and try to unweld your jaw after a good watermelon Jolly Rancher, sit back with some hot cider, turn the lights down low, and prepare to have the ever-loving bejeesus scared out of you. As you read this fantastic twist on Poe’s The Raven, think….think about what might have been…. Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaa…

The Paven
by Eddie Fireplace Palin (with apologies to E.A. Poe)

Illustrated by AKM (with apologies to the entire internet)

Once upon a midnight dreary, dressed in my pajamas cheery,

Seeking answers to life’s mysteries, buried at the web’s very core.

While on my keyboard I was tapping, suddenly I heard a yapping,

A strange, incoherent yapping, on the porch outside my bedroom door.

“ ‘Tis but the wind,” I muttered, “Outside my bedroom door,

Only this, and nothing more.”

My eyes were red and bleary, my searches naught but futile query,

I rose, and with head in hands, paced upon the oaken floor.

Then again I heard the yapping, as if some lips were loosely flapping,

An ignorant word-salad yapping, too obnoxious to ignore.

With foreboding, I turned and pulled the handle to my bedroom door,

And there sat the Paven, the woman-bird of ancient Alaskan lore.

And I beheld a sight beyond compare, at the comely Paven, I could only stare.

Her black feathered body was sleek and fair,

Upon her head was a towering coif of woven hair,

Her face was adorned by glasses, rimless and square.

But more than all else, one thing caused my heart to jump:

Upon her feet were naughty red monkey pumps.

Suddenly with feathers streaming,

In flew the Paven, and perched upon my Macbook gleaming.

Joined now by this bird from yore, instantly my mind began to soar,

Grasping, reaching for the many answers that must now be in store.

But the the Paven spoke these words, which turned my joy to horror:

“Also Too” – This it spoke, and nothing more.

Presently my fear grew stronger,

Enchanted by this bird no longer.

“Bird or devil!” I shouted, “Evil unrepentant bore!

Quit thy perch upon my Macbook! Fly back to your Lake Lucille shore!”

But the Paven perched and sat and spoke these words:

“Also Too” – This it spoke, and nothing more.

My spirit now was broken, without so much as a token

Of knowledge gained or wisdom spoken.

Never should I foolishly quest for knowledge, this I swore.

And I longed for the peace and quiet I had enjoyed before.

Instead now with me was the Paven, speaking just these words:

“ Also Too” – For Evermore!

Jack Schmack.  We’ve got a Brian O’Lantern!  This awesome creation came from “Mudflatter A” (no relation to “U.S. Representative A” of Corrupt Bastards Club fame).  I met her about a month ago and she already had it all planned out – a vegetable homage to the great ungulate that is the Mudflats mascot.

I feel confident in saying that Brian would like this pumpkin a lot, probably as a late afternoon snack.  Back in the days of film cameras, I snapped a shot of a moose eating a jack o’ lantern my neighbor had left on the porch.  The hole on the top was large enough to fit the entire nose and upper jaw of the moose.  While attempting to take its first bite from the side of the pumpkin, in this odd position, it was startled by …  me and my camera.  So, it raised up its great antlered head and swung around to look at me, with the pumpkin still stuck on it’s face looking like a big “Rudolph the orange-nosed moose.”  I tried to find the photo so I could scan it, but whatever shoe box, or photo file, or album it’s in, I couldn’t, so the virtual story will have to do for now.

Have a wonderful Halloween everyone!  If anyone has any fun political costume shots, or jack o’lanterns, send me an email at akmuckraker(at)yahoo(dot)com.  There have to be a few you-know-whos out there somewhere!

[More Mudflats quilt squares coming soon!]

Looks like Levi isn’t the only one “leaking on” Alaska’s notorious politicos. A memo that wasn’t supposed to be public was accidentally put on line in full public view by a low level staffer, and Bingo!   Suddenly we know all sorts of stuff about all sorts of members of congress who are being investigated by the usually super-secret Congressional Ethics Committee.

And I’ll give you one guess who’s on the list. In a way, this is completely unremarkable, and by now, after looking at the fabulous graphic at the top of the page, you’ve probably guessed the answer. That’s right, Don Young, Congressman at Large for all Alaska. Also known in some legal circles by the vague and non-specific code name “Alaska U.S. Representative A.”

It’s not for the Veco corruption scandal, though.  It’s for one of his various other shady doings that’s been out of the news for a while.  If you’ve ever got a free hour, and you want to delve into the shady world of one of the most fascinating of all the corrupt bastards, do check out the website  DropDon.com and enjoy the clever and interactive web of skullduggery.

The House ethics committee sought information from Rep. Connie Mack (R-Fla.) regarding a $10 million earmark in his district that connects Coconut Road near Fort Myers to Interstate 75.

A document obtained by The Washington Post shows that the committee requested information from Mack and expected a response by Aug. 28.

The congressman said in a statement released Thursday by his office that the inquiry does not focus on him and that he had no involvement with the project.

“We’ve been told that we may be a witness to an investigation of others, but we are, of course, not the subject of any investigation,” the statement said.

The infamous “Coconut Road” scandal involves real estate developer Daniel Aranoff.

He helped raise $40,000 for Young just days before Young introduced a $10 million earmark for Coconut Road in the 2006 Transportation bill.  Aranoff owns 4,000 acres along Coconut Road, a stretch of pavement near Ft. Myers, Florida that touches five golf clubs on its way to the Gulf of Mexico.

When he was asked to comment by a New York Times reporter, Young responded with an obscene gesture.

That’s our boy – Congressman for all Alaska, and on some days,  parts of Florida.

[h/t to flyinureye for the Friday Fun!]