The Mudflats

God is mentioned twice before the first word of the first chapter.  Once in the dedication and once in a quote.

Page 1
The second sentence of the book is a rollicking good piece of prose for William Shatner! “With the grey Talkeetna Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of snow about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier.” Awesome.

Page 2
The Alaska State Fair -People stop her and ask “When are they gonna ramp up drilling?” Piper is literally the poster child for the Right to Life booth. A picture of her as an infant with fluffy pink wings is their poster.

Page 3
Griping that Piper was good enough to be on their poster, but she wasn’t “politically connected” enough to get the RTL group endorsement in her early campaigns. The people at the booth have to put up with jeers of protesters.

Muses about state spending, political corruption in the state and “government growing as fast as fireweed in July.

Intrigued by politics and journalism because of her “passion for the power of words.” (Ha!)

Pages 4-5
Decided to run for governor. She didn’t necessarily get into government to become an “ethics crusader”. It just sort of happened. She fought corruption regardless of party and the GOP distanced themselves from her which was fine with her because she’d “always been without a political home.” This gave her freedom and she was only beholden to the people of Alaska. (Hmmm. Third party candidate in her future perhaps?)

Page 6
88% approval rating. No more business as usual. “Changing state government and changing diapers.” Dropped money in the Right to Life can and didn’t care who was watching. Got a phone call and prayed to the Lord asking for just one hour without politics. Call was from John McCain asking her to “change history.”

Page 7-18
Born in Idaho, moved to Alaska. Tried to fly when she was 4, but fell down and then got up. Father came from a dysfunctional family. Mother didn’t. She loved saying the pledge of allegiance in school. She loved reading from an early age, and her passion for reading distinguished her from her siblings who were all better looking and more athletic. Her dad read her “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and she loved it. (Ironic considering I just heard about how it was a commentary on ….Socialism!)

Page 19
“I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals – right next to the mashed potatoes.”

Pages 20-25
God’s creation all around. God knows what He’s doing. Her mother became an evangelical. She quotes Blaise Pascal saying that everyone has “a god-shaped vacuum” in their heart. God had a plan for her. She put her life in her Creator’s hands. God blessed her and fulfilled his promises. She’s grateful that her parents forced her to go to church. Quotes Plato.

Page 26
At ten years old she’s riveted by Watergate and Nixon’s resignation and Gerald Ford. Speaking of Ford she notes while looking at a picture of him in a Scholastic magazine, “He’d been America’s vice president then, sitting parade-style atop the backseat of a convertible, waving at the crowd. Now he was our president!” (Exclamation point! So, it’s quite clear that when she “didn’t blink” about accepting the VP nomination, she was saying yes to the presidency, which would have to be great with all that waving at the crowd stuff.) Her clearest childhood memories involve politics.

Page 27
Back to debunking the “she doesn’t read anything” meme. “I would put down one book just long enough to pick up another.” One of her dad’s friends said every time he came over they were all reading.

She started running in the 1970s. Taught her resolve and working through pain.

Page 28
Always ran for some school officer position. One year was sent to be the representative to the School Board and her rival school in Palmer sent “a dazzling and brainy cheerleader” Kristan Cole. Participated in Fellowship of Christian Athletes. “At least sixty of us met in public school classrooms for Bible study and inspirational exchanges that motivated us to focus on hard work and excellence. In those days, ACLU activists had not yet convinced your people that they were supposed to feel offended by other people’s free exercise of religion.” (AAAAAGH!)

*********coffee break**************

Page 29
Benefitted from Title IX and participation in sports. Didn’t subscribe to the “radical mantras” of “so-called women’s groups” like NOW (Ahhh! Here’s the obligatory jab at NOW for not endorsing her candidacy.)

Page 30-31
Her Dad was the coach of many of her teams. He made her work harder than the other kids. She would be hurt because he was nicer to them than her. But there were advantages. He knew she hated playing in the pep band after a game, which was required for everyone. So he’d tape her fingers together and she’d lie and say they were sprained so she didn’t have to play the flute. (Niiiice. Great teachable moment.)

Dad told her she had a choice between “boys and sports” and she couldn’t have both.

Page 33
In her senior year she prayed to God for a boyfriend, and got Todd.

Page 34-36
When she met Todd she actually whispered “Thank you, God.” Not only did he have a car, he had a TRUCK! And two snowmachines! She loves Todd’s family. He has seen the hardship and despair of Native rural life. (And yet she basically ignored these issues as governor!)

Page 37
Pre-emptive strike! “We weren’t into fancy clothes.”
“When he told me he had become a Christian and had been baptized at a sports camp a few years earlier, that was the clincher for me.”

Page 38-39
She snuck chewing tobacco from Todd. She saw her first PG-13 equivalent movie with Todd. He tried to kiss her and she didn’t know how. He told his friends. She was mortified. Even “the good ones” can act like jerks.

Basketball

Page 40-41
Basketball

Page 42-43
The college years.
Hawaii was too perfect. Too much sunshine.
Idaho was more like Alaska.
Home for the summer. Friend convinced her to do the Miss America scholarship pageant.
She kept her hair short in high school because she “didn’t like wasting time primping.” (So, what the Hell happened?) She felt self-conscious after “packing on the Freshman 15″. She was uncomfortable when she allowed her butt to be compared to other cheerleaders’ butts.

Page 44
Judge asked her if she thought a woman could be vice president, citing Geraldine Ferraro. She said a woman could be president. Judge asked her what are the best attributes of Alaska? She says natural beauty but “some Outsiders don’t understand Alaska’s potential in developing our vast natural resources.” (I’m sorry, I’m going to have to see the tape to believe that one.)

Page 45-46
Loved poli sci classes. Worked her way through college. Studied Reagan. Wondered why Carter hadn’t “acted more decisively” in the Iranian hostage crisis. “Why did he allow American to be humiliated and pushed around?” (Umm. Could it be that Reagan had an arms for hostages deal with Iran which is why they were released before his hand was even off the Bible? Could THAT be the story??) According to her it was because he radiated optimism and the bad guys took notice. He had a “steel spine.”

************cold water on face break***********

Page 47-48
Nauseating Reagan love fest.

Page 49
She worked at a sports desk. She worked on a slime-line. Todd got busted for a DUI and it changed his life for the better. They got married at the courthouse. Found witnesses at the old folks home across the street.

Page 50
Todd gets a job with BP. “As Todd slimmed down, I porked up, pregnant with our first child.” (Didn’t pork up with that last one though.)

Page 51
Went into labor. Her dad stayed close because “Sarah’s going to calve.” She hated labor and prayed for death.

Page 52
“What I really wanted was to scream bloody murder and beg for drugs. Blessed Mother of Jesus I finally got them!”

Page 53
Named Track because it was track season. If it had been wrestling season – Mat. If it had been basketball season – Court. Hockey season – Zamboni. (I’m hoping and assuming the last one is a joke, although…)

Page 54
Fish picking

Page 55
Pregnant again and had a miscarriage. Felt devastated. After the D&C, they typed “abortion” on the form and refused to type up a new one, but only used a thin layer of whiteout and then wrote “miscarriage” on it which felt like “salt in the wound.”

Page 56
Pregnant with Bristol.

Page 57 (I did a whole post on this page that you can read HERE)
The gist? See, I did name Bristol after the home city of ESPN, even though Todd tackled me to get to the birth certificate so he could name her with no input from me. Bristol has been begging to babysit since she was a small child. It’s her calling. And another “I love to read” reference.

Page 58
She worked at the Frontiersman as a proofreader. (What, not a copy editor?)
She read the newspaper from beginning to end while firing balls of wadded up duct tape at Track who would hit them with a hockey stick.

Page 59
Exxon Valdez – Heartbreaking. How will it ever be cleaned up, everyone wondered? Most people think of oily otters, but it was an economic and social disaster too. Todd knew immediately that it would affect the seafood industry statewide because people would assume all the fish was bad. Sound unfishable. Jobs lost. Boats reposessed. They know lots of people who were affected. Alaskans got frustrated with Exxon when they refused to pay. Nobody in government held them accountable.

Then she goes on to say that under her guidance, Alaska achieved victory in the case. This is utterly unaddressable in a couple lines. So it’s a good thing that Shannyn Moore wrote a whole post on this unbelievable statement. You can read it HERE.

And that’s the end of the first chapter. It’s unfortunate I decided to take a lunch break at this time, because I seem to have lost my appetite. Off for some deep breathing exercises.