The Mudflats

Digested your first helping of rogue nuggets yet?  It helps if you wash them down with a nice tall glass of Maalox.  All ready for a second helping?  Got yer mavericky dipping sauce and your stack of napkins?  Alrighty then.  Grab your knife and fork (do not use them on yourself no matter how desperate you may feel) and let’s dig in.

Page 212
“She of the Iron Uterus” did work from her hospital bed after having Trig. Didn’t miss much work for any reason. Staff would have found it “inexplicable” if she was not at work on a Thursday morning for any reason, even delivering a special needs child apparently.

McCain campaign snuck her out of AK and Todd had to confiscate teenagers’ cell phones. This was “scarier” than anything the opposition could throw at them. Went to Arizona and experienced warm air and a “star spangled sky.” In Alaska it’s either cold and dark or warm and light. So this strange land the natives call “A-ri-zo-na” was very “foreign and exotic” to her.  Does that count as  more foreign policy experience?

Page 213
Introduces her arch-nemesis Steve Schmidt and talks about him working on Bush’s re-election campaign in 2004. Kerry called for “global test” for military action. He said he was “going to shove ‘global test’ right up Kerry’s ass.” Charming.

Page 214
Palin sits around the coffee table chatting deftly about her position on the war in Iraq, energy and the economy. Tells them how she reaches across the aisle and has a Lincoln-like “team of rivals” approach to governance. They already knew Bristol was pregnant even though she thought only family knew. (They must have been reading Mudflats!) She is told that nothing stays secret in a campaign. That’s OK with her because she only has one skeleton….it makes her sick to her stomach….it’s….it’s…a D in college! (eye roll)  I’m guessing it was in English.  Call it a hunch.

Talks about her in-depth knowledge of the middle East, being commander in chief of the Alaska national guard, Track going to Iraq, etc. If only Steve Schmidt weren’t so focused on the middle east and had focused more on the economy the campaign would have gone better.

Page 215
Apparently Schmidt didn’t think she knew as much as she thought she knew, because he gave her a stack of books, and DVDs to review the history of the conflict.

She is questioned about Walt Monegan and talks about “his budget problems and insubordination, his changing story.” (Has anyone noticed how unbelievably nice Walt Monegan has been to her?  And she still keeps flinging the crap)  Also talked about Steve Branchflower the independent investigator of the Troopergate case (who was chosen by a completely bi-partisan group in the legislature) and how he was not impartial and had worked with the “Democrat” lawmaker pushing the “ginned-up scandal.” The “Democrat lawmaker” would be Hollis French. Love that “team of rivals” reaching across the aisle with the “Democrat” party.

Page 218
Her dad was a science teacher, and after 18 years of science lessons at the dinner table, she still was not convinced by him or anyone else that “the earth had sprung forth conveniently stocked with the ingredients necessary to spontaneouslycreate life.”

Page 219
If anyone asked her about creationism, she wasn’t going to “parrot a politically correct line” just so people wouldn’t think she was a a fundamentalist creationist whack job who thinks the Earth is 6000 years old. Thinks evolution should be debated in the classroom. If Wm. F. Buckley can be a creationist why can’t she?

Page 254
Bemoans the fact that even though an Alaska station was willing to spend any amount to get a local reporter on the scene of the nomination to ask “simple, softball scripted questions,” the campaign wouldn’t allow it. “Headquarters” said no. She was hoping the national media would pick up on the simple softball scripted interview, but (shaking fist at sky) Headquarters screwed up again!

She blew off an Alaska reporter who ultimately said, “The Sarah Palin we knew is gone.” But it wasn’t her fault. It was the handlers’ fault. A “Free Sarah” campaign had started. (I remember that well… Would that they had succeeded. Would have made the opposition research job a lot easier!)

Nicolle Wallace wanted her to talk to Katie Couric, but she wanted to talk to FOX News because she thought they’d be friendlier.

Page 256
Eviscerating Nicolle Wallace. She’s the one who insisted on Couric. She didn’t speak well of her old boss George W. Bush. Didn’t like her job in the White House either. Wouldn’t let Plain give a “shout out” to homeland security after 9/11. Wallace said Katie needed a career boost, and suffered from low self-esteem. “She wants people to like her. She wants you to like her.” Palin began to feel sorry for Couric and was told that if the first interview went poorly that would be that.  Perhaps her interview today helped to boost Oprah’s flagging self-esteem.

Page 257
She was on a “media blackout” and not allowed to talk to anyone so she had a friend in Anchorage give her phone numbers and she snuck phone calls to (drumroll please) Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and someone she thought was Larry Kudlow but turned out to be Neal Cavuto’s producer. (She’s not really good with figuring out who’s on the other end of the phone.  Just ask Nicholas Sarkozy.) Had friends trying to call Bill O’Reilly and Mark Levin.

Wanted to talk to reporters in the back of the plane, but Headquarters said “No! Absolutely not! Block her if she tries to go back!” (Gee, what could they have been worried about?)

Page 268
The campaign got mad at her for talking to people on the rope line. She drove them crazy signing things and talking to people. Everyone loved her. They waved lipstick tubes and flags. They followed her in golf carts. Campaign thought she was uncooperative because they don’t care about the people. The people loved her. They followed her into Walmart and had a spontaneous rally. Love, love, love.

Page 269
They chose “Country First” as a slogan to counteract the “Blame America First” attitude of Obama/Biden. Especially after Michelle Obama’s comment that she was proud of her country for the first time in her adult lifetime, which Palin thought was an “incomprehensible statement.”

The economy tanked and McCain suspended his campaign to fix it. She had no idea what was going on and heard about it on the news.

Page 270
Presidential debate went on as planned. McCain did great, but the media gave it to Obama, trying to convince everyone that McCain was irritable and condescending. “Granted, 90% of the newspeople covering the event were liberal.”

Economy tanked and so did their poll numbers. Happened at the same time as her “seemingly endless serial chat with the lowest-rated news anchor in network television CBS’s Katie Couric.” (Oh, the Junior High, I remember it well…) Charlie Gibson came north but wasn’t that interested in her gubernatorial duties.

Page 271
She and Charlie came upon a group of moose hunters who wanted a picture. Charlie thought they wanted one of him, but they wanted him to take one of them and her. They went to Wasilla High School and people wanted a picture. Charlie thought they wanted one of him, but they wanted him to take one of them and her. He was grumpy during the interview later.

Katie Couric – where does she begin? She choked on some responses. She was harried. She allowed herself to show irritation and annoyance with “repetetive biased questions.” Thought it would be an easy interview about motherhood. It’s unfortunate it was mocked. She thought it would be the only one.

Page 272
First interview. She was anxious to have it over. She let her annoyance show. Nicolle Wallace said the interview was great. She knew it wasn’t. Wallace scheduled another one. Why would she schedule another one when the first one went so badly? (dramatic moment) She turns to see Wallace and Kouric HUGGING and posing for pictures.

CBS took hours of footage on the campaign trail and only used the bad stuff, and left all her brilliance on the cutting room floor.

Page 273
They cut out the part where she said she was all about alternative energy AND drill baby drill. They cut out the part where she said that “anti-development radicals” Photoshopped pictures of ANWR to look like it was a lush rainforest with “Bambi prancing to and fro”, when really it’s just a lot of flat ugly empty space.

Page 274
More about barren desolate permanently frozen ANWR. Couric edited out all the good stuff, but left in all the bad stuff. The whole “you can see Russia” moment was simply an attempt at putting the question in a geographical context. She was cut off before she could really answer the question. She wishes she had done that. Oh, there are so many things she wishes she would have said to prove how competent she was. But Katie interrupted her before she could talk about it all. And she talked to Canada on a weekly basis.  Also.

Page 275
The melting polar sea ice has opened up fabulous new trade routes, but alas it has also increased security threats. (No mention though of global warming or polar bears or melting permafrost) Restates that yes, you can see Russia from Alaska. Just in case anyone was still unclear about that.

Couric wasn’t interested in talking about Alaska’s economy or Alaska’s wildlife management issues, can you believe it?  She had her own agenda. When she talked about them anyway, it was cut. Putin in our air space was only a metaphor. She just wanted the gotcha moments. That was her goal. And it worked.

Page 276
You’d think that would be it on Couric, but no. There was more. She finished shaking hands on the rope line. She was pumped and sweaty and wanted a Diet Dr. Pepper, but there she was again with a microphone. Why was the campaign allowing her to talk to a reporter with a partisan agenda? When Couric asked what she reads, she tried not to react to the “condescension” but was unsucessful. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to – or as some have ludicrously suggested, couldn’t answer her question; it was that her condescension irritated me.”   Yeah, she could’ve answered if she WANTed to.  But she didn’t WANT to.  So there.

Page 277 (yes, there’s more…)
Had Katie Couric even read her op-ed in the New York Times about the Alaska Gasline Inducement Act?? The next interview was on the campaign bus, and asked about “praying the gay away.” She wouldn’t let her answer and badgered and badgered about abortion. She asked the proverbial “if a 15-year old is raped by her father” question. Palin said she is unapologetically pro-life and that she would counsel her to choose life.

Page 278 (and more…)
More badgering. Would she really counsel an incest victim to have the baby? Yes, she would counsel such a girl to choose life. Couric left out the part where we should support these women. The real extremism came from those who support partial birth abortions and “those, like Barack Obama who opposed laws that would protect babies born alive after botched abortions.”  If you have no idea what the hell she’s talking about, click HERE.

More badgering. More badgering. Badger badger.  Couric was nice to Joe Biden, but not nice to her. Joe Biden mistakenly attributed something to FDR and never got called on it.

Page 279
The worst part wasn’t the badgering and badgering…it was the wasted time. There were so many more important things she could be doing (I know how she feels) .”

She later heard a quote from Katie Couric that told her “everything [she] needed to know.” She said that the whole flag pin/USA/shock and awe stuff was “just too jubilant and a little uncomfortable.”

“Unbelievable.”

In Philadelphia there were people with a sign that said “Sarah Palin is a c—” Willow was shocked. Palin told her not to worry about it.

Page 280
Prep session with curtains drawn. The campaign was on the ropes. People were stressed out. She wanted fresh air. They wanted to sit in a dark room and yell. She wanted to go running in the sunshine but they wouldn’t let her. When they did schedule time for her to run, she’d be on the bus.

Page 281
Outrage that Gwen Ifill was the debate moderator. The campaign was freaked out. She wasn’t worried. She was confident. There were stacks of index cards with questions on one side and non-answers on the other side.

Page 282
The campaign didn’t want her to answer questions. She wanted to, but they wouldn’t let her. They wanted to change her. They caused her to question her style.

Page 283
She liked her simple style where she just told the truth and didn’t have to struggle to remember how she had answered things. They wouldn’t let her be that way. They yelled at her and told her she was wrong. She wanted fresh air, not a dark room. But they kept her inside in the dark with the yelling.  Metaphor about the penalty box. Bla bla bla.

Page 284
Nutrition intervention. Steve Schmidt said he was flying in a nutritionist because of her over consumption of Atkins diet bars that were “all over the place.” She didn’t know where they came from and tried to tell Schmidt that she wasn’t on the Atkins diet.

Page 285
But he lectured her anyway on the hazards of a high protein diet. She notes that he is fat and he smokes. She didn’t need a nutritionist. She needed to go outside and be in the sun with the wind in her hair. He didn’t listen and there was no nutritionist.

But “there was a bright spot in Philly and his name was Joe Lieberman.” (Can we PLEASE just call him a Republican now??)

Page 294
Steve Schmidt drops the f-bomb while Piper is in the room drinking diet soda. During the debate she wanted to focus on the economy and free-market principles, and present a strong military pro-Israel message, but people were mad and stomping around and caking makeup on her and raising her hair to new heights. So she had to pray.  She called Piper over to pray with her that she’d win the debate and Piper said that was cheating.

Page 295
The same woman that led her down the hall to the debate did the same thing for Geraldine Ferraro in 1984. She thinks Geraldine Ferraro is great and Ferraro called her during the campaign to thank her for the “shout out” to her contribution to political history because nobody else ever did it.

Page 316
People were giving her grief about clothes, but she likes her own clothes that she buys in a consignment store in Alaska. She wore a pre-owned jacket and her own jeans. She would have been happy to wear her own closthes but when Charlie Gibson was interviewing her in Alaska, Nicolle Wallace went through her closet and hated everything and was mean and made her feel bad. But she snuck a couple things in the suitcase and brought them on the trail anyway.  Ha ha ha.

She explained the whole clothing story on the trail to reporters, but went off-script, explaining that none of the clothes were hers.

Page 317
The campaign was mad she explained her story about the clothes. They accused her of “going rogue” again. She was just defending her ethics, but they got mad at her and there was more yelling. The campaign knew how she felt about the clothes, but nobody defended her or spoke up for her. They just hung her out to twist in the wind.  She realized that this was because some of the higher ups in the campaign were already “packing their parachutes” and she was going to be the scape goat.

Voters wanted her to take the gloves off and talk about Jeremiah Wright. The senior staff in the McCain campaign were mad at her because she kept going off script to set the record straight about the clothes. They were mad because she wanted to keep campaigning in Michigan. They were just maaad.

Page 318
To this day, Randy Schueneman won’t say all the bad things about Schmidt and what he was saying about her. But she did find out that he thought she was screwing up and not doing her homework and might be suffering from post-partum depression. Randy said this was ridiculous and that he didn’t believe anything of the kind. So she figured out that all the McCain staffers were collecting half-truths and lies and saving them up so that when they lost, they could all blame her for everything.

Page 319
CNN reported that her going off script “irked” McCain aides. Randy got mad and demanded to talk to Steve Schmidt.

Page 320
Schmidt and Schueneman argued. Schueneman good/Schmidt bad. Implicates Schmidt &/or Wallace as the leaker of the made up stories to make her look bad. Schmidt said she was an awful pick because of the clothes, the postpartum problems, and “legal exposure for Todd on Troopergate, whatever he meant by that.” (Could he have meant that Todd was found in contempt of the Senate for ignoring a legislative subpoena to testify in an ethics probe? Perhaps?)

Page 321
Schmidt said if there were any more leaks critical of the handling of Sarah Palin, he’d leak more bad information about her. She didn’t know any of that at the time, and Schmidt denies it. But even though Schmidt is a rat bastard and she’s been eviscerating him throughout the entire book, life is too short to hold a grudge and if she sees him again, maybe she’ll give him a “pretty white Peace Lily.”

(head bang)

Page 346
Target – The Associated Press. A reporter said that she had to rely on notes and her commissioners to answer questions at a press conference. What a set up! And the same reporter asks her how she handled a tough week and Palin answered “A lousy week? Really?”  Says Track got back from Iraq alive. Trig’s heart is doing well and won’t need surgery, thank God. Todd is fine. Daughters are fine. Everything is fine! Life is rosy! Everything is wonderful. This lousy week was GREAT! Meanwhile the nasty fact-checkin’ national media were “sniffing around for tabloid stuff.”

Page 347
Target – Authors of ‘Sarah from Alaska’. Talks about Piper getting ambushed on the way home from school by reporters. Remember those reporters from the plane Mommy? The ones that Nicolle Wallace said didn’t like us very much? They just interviewed me on the sidewalk. (This account was later refuted by Shushannah Walshe and Scott Conroy. Can you believe they think she’s making things up?)

Complains about reporters hanging out by her house. And then… “in addition there were the ‘new media’ – the left-wing bloggers. The lines between the two were often blurred, with stories starting in the blogosphere and leap-frogging to old media channels.” Doesn’t point out that the “old media” still has to fact check all those bloggers, or that they will probably be fact checking her book. Doh!

Her Dad’s answer to “Trig Truthers” is “I know Trig is hers, dumbass. I was there when he popped out!” Gack! I hope that doesn’t mean what it sounds like it means…

Page 370
Picture of Sarah and Piper in matching Arctic Cat suits described as “warm winter gear.”
Picture of Sarah, Todd, Trig and Tripp playing on the floor. Cute picture.

Page 371
Bristol was criticized for going on the abstinence tour and her “pragmatic” position that the only way to make sure you don’t get pregnant is not to have sex. She graduated high school with great grades, is taking college courses and works two part time jobs to pay for diapers and formula. But you don’t read about that. (Should I erase this?) Partisan bloggers questioned Track’s enlistment in the army.

A fake Planned Parenthood ad was mean to Trig. So was someone who “Photoshopped distorted images over Trig’s pretty face in order to make him look monstrous.” (Err… that would be putting local radio shock jock Eddie Burke’s face on Trig’s body to show how cozy he and Palin are. Monstrous?? Well, Ok…)

WHEW.

OK, that’s it for this installment. Are your brains bleeding yet?

And just remember. NONE of anything is her fault, except for not following her true and noble impulses.