Boots On the Ground – Mudflatters’ Excellent Adventure
1 12 2009Thanks to FutureExPat? and Prisoner #6, who are not only veteran Mudstockers (starting with the very first one), who not only picked up two weary bloggers at the airport in Pittsburgh on the way to Netroots, but are now “Boots on the Ground” reporters also, too! They caught the Washington, Pennsylvania stop of the Goin’ Rogue bus/private jet tour and have a great report and pictures for your enjoyment.
There are more Boots on the Ground reporters out there, so stay tuned for more reports to come!
***************************************
By FutureExPat? and Prisoner #6
“You gotta love the smell of bear scat in the morning!” Or was that napalm? Wrong reference!
Anyway, having agreed to “take one for the team,” and wondering just what that was going to entail after futurexpat? researched all the rules and conditions that had been laid down to even be allowed to see the “Winky Twinky,” futurexpat? and prisonernumbersix had rather low expectations for the trek.
However, in the spirit of Palifiction, we must tell you that, when Brian woke up on Saturday morning, he refused to go to Washington, PA with us to see S’carah (sorry, we actually forgot him in the rush out the door). He said that he had no wish to see the biggest moose nugget ever seen in Pennsylvania. (He knows a lot about moose nuggets!) And when we saw her, she was painted up, but with more colors than those moose nuggest the Alaskans peddle to tourists! She had that same hard “varnished” look, though. Brian is one smart moose!
We arrived at Sam’s Club to a crowd of nearly 1500 strong, we were later to discover. The earliest we heard anyone had shown up was at 4:30 PM the day before. People were camped out overnight on a chilly night. Future photographed the crowd and gathered background for our post. With all the rules set down by the Palin people, we didn’t expect to even get a glimpse of her.
With future decked out in her press pass and our mingling with the press entourage, it began to look like it could get interesting. As future recalled later, “I took my press pass with me, put it around my neck, and got invited in and escorted into the press area with all the big local Pittsburgh and national press people. Okay, only national if you count ‘Entertainment Tonight.’”
Future, now transformed into “Lois Lane,” and prisonernumbersix (no press pass) tagged along trying to affect the demeanor of “Clark Kent,” but coming off more like “Jimmy Olsen.” Prisonernumbersix carried the camera bags and assumed the smallest profile possible as we followed the hallowed Fourth Estate down the “yellow brick road” (asphalt, actually).
We were led into a back door to the storage shelves of Sam’s Club to await our audience with Ms. Palin. Oddly enough, this was the same sort of back door that received the much anticipated “Queen of Ice” (not to be confused with the “Queen of Nice”), except that ours was not adjacent to the loading dock. This was clearly a high-security location. We are told that the only other way to gain access is to be willing to work for $7.25 per hour – or plagiaristically flog Lynn Vincent’s new book! (Remind us. Why do they call it an autobiography when it is about someone else?)
In groups of five, the media were ushered into an over-sized, black-curtained voting booth (small enough to protect her exclusivity and large enough to allow some impromptu adoration if the spirit so moved). We had three minutes to shoot and made the most of it.
Future nearly forgot to take photographs, transfixed by S’carah’s hair and HEAVY makeup! (She’s real?) We were about five feet from the object of the day’s affection, armed only with cameras and the resolve not to scream!
[*Editor's Note - Hmmm. Looks like someone has that ring back on again...]
As soon as we in the media (catch that, “we in the media”!, [wink, wink]) had used our allotted three minutes to photo her, we were escorted out the back door of the building. We left about $100,000 of fancy video equipment in the back warehouse shelves of Sam’s Club attached to some equally high-priced operators from the local news stations and “Entertainment Tonight.”
The people who had books to be signed were allowed into her presence in small groups. They were lined up and kept moving by the security team. They got about five seconds with her. It was a choreographed operation. People who were interviewed after said it had been so worth that 12 hours in line to meet her for that five seconds.
As we were ushered out of The Sarah’s presence, folks in the waiting line actually “mugged” for our cameras! “Is this a great country or what?”
This was in stark contrast to the press people crowded together inside. Inside, the “Entertainment Tonight” people were joking about how the mighty have fallen. Outside, it was a lovefest.
One young man with a dinosaur sign was as far as we could tell the only dissenter, unless you count the rest of the media who pretty much seemed to wish they were spending their Saturday morning somewhere else.
Country people are basically good. We know this to be true for many reasons. However, an overload of misinformation can cloud the mind. Clearly, it was their day and they were enjoying it! We photographed the crowd and kept our mouths shut, maintaining the media pretense. Future’s press pass is genuine; she just wasn’t covering the event for her paper.
We can privately observe, however, that the wit and wisdom contained in S’carah’s large-print homage to S’carah could be etched on the head of a pin and still leave room for the 10,000 angels to dance!
The big bus – a newer-than-2012 Slutz-Bearscat, I believe – was sequestered next to a loading dock at the far rear corner of the building. We didn’t see any dumpsters, but they couldn’t have been far. A beautiful factory paint job had been over-sprayed with graffiti-like embellishments of Sarah, her book, and miscellaneous do-dads to personalize it – as if everyone didn’t know it was her!
Our job done, we left and, as Roy Clark sings, “Thank God and Greyhound, she’s gone.” So ended our day of Palinsanity.
futurexpat?
prisonernumbersix
December 1st, 2009 at 5:38 PM
Hello all! I am mainly a lurker, but enjoy your comments. Just wanted to let you know I’m taking a break. I’ve decided to fast Sarah Palin. At Thanksgiving, my son said I was obsessed and I think he may be right. So I need to cleanse my mind, body and soul. I will no longer read anything about her until the big story breaks.
However, I will still read other stories here-such a great place! And I will not give up chewing tobacco!!!
December 1st, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Must be a ton of peeps coming in to look at the pix… they loaded initially but are slowly loading now.
Anywho… next time intends to get near that bus, make sure you have a couple of spray cans with ya so’s you can spray paint a nice pair of yellow mudboots on her feet. That’ll really make her smile. Or cranky like Franky.
Not that I’m suggesting anything.
December 1st, 2009 at 6:17 PM
@52 sauerkraut
Naughty naughty you! LOL
December 1st, 2009 at 6:26 PM
whaaaaa???
December 1st, 2009 at 6:26 PM
December 1st, 2009 at 6:26 PM
:halo:
December 1st, 2009 at 6:27 PM
:innocent:
December 1st, 2009 at 6:28 PM
Along the line of Krauts suggestion ( # 52 ) has someone within the ” Bus Tour ” painted in a picture of that Gulfstream Jet onto the side of that Bus as well?
That would make the picture on the side of it more truthful and authentic…and REAListic. Maybe have the Jet flying toward her head… and crash into her bumpit.
And the second pic of her at the desk doing the book signings with her BIG picture in the background on that table.. or whatever it is. The background is so dark….. for whatever reason it makes me think she is sitting in a Funeral Parlor. The vase of flowers, speakers for piped in Muzak music, the BIG memoriam picture of the Guest of Honor for the day…. etc.
Doesn’t it make You think Funeral…? Or is it ‘ just Me’..?
December 1st, 2009 at 6:56 PM
I dunno, signing books in a little screened off area in the middle of a huge warehouse just looks sort of pathetic.
I mean, up close it looks all exciting and important-ish, but pan back for the long shot and she’s just one more toaster oven on the shelf.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:07 PM
bless your hearts future ex and prisoner 6. you did a great job and i thank you
for being brave and selfless. love bubs
December 1st, 2009 at 7:11 PM
Big Slick- No. She will get Barney Franked when they co-host the Gridiron Club event next week.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:19 PM
Is she coming to Bakersfield, CA? I’ll be there for ya if she is.
December 1st, 2009 at 8:18 PM
I still have yet to see a picture with Papa Smuef,I mean Chuck,carrying or holding Trig.
Is Sarah afraid of something that might happen? Is Chuck uncomfortable with Trig?
December 1st, 2009 at 8:19 PM
I am in South Dakota right now, and Sarah is scheduled to be at the Barnes & Noble in Sioux Falls this coming Sunday. I’m close enough to attend if I could come up with a reason to do so outside of buying a book for her to sign, which I absolutely refuse to even consider. Any suggestions from anyone for any other reason to go?
December 1st, 2009 at 8:25 PM
#39— Marge Simpson— that’s perfect. We need a photo of her with blue hair.
December 1st, 2009 at 8:40 PM
FYI: http://www.sarahwatch.org/
December 1st, 2009 at 9:12 PM
Future and Priz6: What a great post, and astute use of the press pass.
Question: in the first photo, the royal hair seems to exceed even the range of a super-bumpit. Was she wearing a conehead under the hair?
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 AM
Good work lads. She’s coming here to Dallas soon. Most ardent supporters don’t read so much around these parts.
December 2nd, 2009 at 4:56 AM
Great job Boots! You’re better “men” than I am.
Did you happen to get a picture of the right side of $carah’s face? Or see that side of her face? Bree’s blog has some great pictures of a big lump on the right side of her face back by her ear. Discussions as to what it is abound. Could be an infection, side effects of plastic surgery, a cyst or ??? Than may be part of the reason for the HEAVY makeup. Any future visits by Boots might try to get a closer look.
AKM, I noticed at the first book signing that she was wearing a ring. Guess she listened to remarks about the missing ring & figured she better start wearing one for her sheeple. Can’t have folks thinkin’ there’s trouble in Paradise. Wonder if she went swimming in Lake Lucille to get it. Probably not, seen one skinny gold ring, seen em all. Maybe a Cracker Jack surprise. So much for it “hurting” when she shakes hands huh?
December 2nd, 2009 at 5:20 AM
This is for Irishgirl, who on a previous thread asked for a translation of this German article:
http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/leute/0,1518,664356,00.html
This is a verrrry rough translation! My apologies to native German speakers!
“I am one of you” – in such a way reads the message of Sarah Palin, who circles (the country) on her book tour allegedly completely on the ground by bus through America. Now is it shown: the ex-Governor probably does not move around in such a (folksy way). The Palin Roadtrip has been proven to be more like a (the style of a rich) mogul.
Sarah Palin (appears) merrily laughing from the bus, son Trig on the arm, (her winks) radiate to the masses. In the middle of November in Michigan appears the former Governor of Alaska on her tour (covering most) of the USA. (not sure about this — I think it means her folksy-ness has not quite taken off…)
Palin, who is on the PR-journey for her book “Going Rogue” actually lifts off in a private jet, which according to the blog “The DAILY Beast”, carries her to next location.
(To arrive at her) destination, the 45-year-old (climbs) into the bus according to the report, which is painted with the cover of her book, and drives (one or a few) kilometers to the meeting place and autographs her book for hundreds of supporters.
As the report indicates, submitted among other things the route of flight UJT750, which matches surprisingly exactly the route of the book tour. In order to give the illusion of her long trip to appear real, Palin occasionally gives interviews in the bus (that she calls hers). In addition, she wrote at the beginning of the tour on her Facebook page: “I am reporting on our progress on the road”
Was all of this only camouflage for the substantially more pleasant journey over the clouds? According to the blog’s estimates, the Gulfstream II jet costs at least $4,000 per hour. Inquiries made by “The Daily Beast” to Harper Collins were not answered.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:59 AM
just a ‘rouge-y’ thought here…
Has anyone actually seen the magical mystery bus as it (literally) flies between towns for SPs signings? As far as I know, she’s only been seen getting off it at one stop and then, backon it, [presumably] to go to the next stop…
The reason I ask is: How hard would it be to order a whole bunch of sleeves/covers/gloves to cover a certain-sized bus and pop them on just before the bus is used to pick Her Sarahness up at the airport/landing-strip to take her to her gig…and then to whisk her away from it -back to the airport/landing-strip -once it’s over?
You know, sort of like those “big heads” [of your favorite athletic team or athelete] that are advertised for slapping on your wall? I’ve seen similar logos for cars – it wouldn’t be inconceivable to me to have had SPs folks purchase a dozen or so ‘blankets’ to make all the busses look the same, when they are, in fact, totally different busses that she’s using to tool around in, you know, as if she’s ‘just a down home kinda gal’.
It’d be interesting if anyone could get close enough to the vehicle to see if it is, indeed, actually 100% spray painted to her specifications, if it is ‘covered’ with a blanket/sleeve of some sort, or if it’s got a combination of the two… beth.