The Mudflats

We’ve got a super special treat today on that painful Monday back from a holiday weekend. I hope you love it like I do. But a warning. A serious warning. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT attempt to drink anything during the video. If you must, pause the thing first.

As a matter of face, put away your bagels, your blueberry muffins, your shredded wheat…  Today it’s popcorn for breakfast.  Butter, salt, the whole works.  The cinematographic genius that brought you the epic cult classic YouTube of the “three witches” (Shannyn Moore, Linda Kellen Biegel and yours truly) has created a sequel.  We thought there was just the one, and we were sad.  The “three witches” still laugh to this day about that first video, and the sequel does not disappoint.

The one thing I’ll say is that you may want to consider playing it without the sound.  You’ll know why after the first 3 or 4 seconds.  But other than that, settle in, turn off your cell phones, get that popcorn, and get ready for showtime! And I couldn’t resist live blogging the event, so you can read along with my comments below.

Ohhkay… The techno beat music is not what I expected…
But we do still have “the three witches theme, and that’s the important part.
The Chicago machine? Oh, this is gonna be good.
Hey, they spelled Shannyn’s name wrong! Doh!
Oooo! Flames. They’ve stepped up the special effects this time.
Here I am! Spelled correctly. I hope I get the flames too.
Flames!
And of course, here’s Linda Kellen Biegel.
This is kind of like deranged polka music…
“Because they threw hissy (hussy?) fits….” Ah! Sexist reference #1.
Hmm. The color of the venom almost matches her jacket!
And now the hate is being delivered by ballistic missile! Niiiice.
Nasfaratu is a progressive? Who knew?
More witches. “We’re great, you’re not!” Man, this guy ought to be a speechwriter. (eye roll)
Now we’ve got bouncy spiders. Cool.
Unidentified monster…. More about how great we are.
More venom…more electronic polka….
The White House now actually analyzes our three blogs and determines that we are the reason for Sarah Palin’s spike in popularity! It’s not the book tour or all the makin’ things up! Who knew? GOP, hire this guy to do your political analysis! He’s gold! Gold, I say.
Obligatory ACORN reference. Nicely done.
“Heads up, blogger broads!” OHHHH… Sexist reference #2. Does he realize that Palin is actually a woman? If women start abandoning Palin, we’ll know it was this guy that’s completely responsible. I mean, there have been THREE HUNDRED views on YouTube in just a week!
Rainbows, flowers, music and multicolored children? Heyyyy…. He’s gone soft and squishy on us. What’s next tree hugging kittens? Where’s the Venom?
“Palin is not the only political leader in America!” Political leader? I thought she quit to become an author?
Ahhh… it’s all about “stop picking on meeee!” I get it.
Obligatory slam of Ariana Huffington.
Ah, the witches again begging for attention. Maybe someone will make a video about us so we stop getting attention! Yeah, that’s so crazy it just might work!
Venom with mysterious counting involved….flowers…cityscape. I think someone might be having a little too much fun with the nifty special effects software. Now we have spinning granite blocks, beams of light. (fanning my eyes and dabbing tears with a kleenex… I can’t believe that other blogs are linking to this. Seriously!)
Planning and scheming at the White House. Rahm Emmanuel and his brother are in on it… What will happen??
Uh oh… Al Gore is mad at Shannyn. He can’t spell her name either.
Hey, I’m the new Typhoid Mary! Meaning … I show no signs of the disease but pass it on to others? (Did this guy Google Typhoid Mary?) And why does Typhoid Mary look like the bride of Frankenstein… And is Sarah Palin jealous of my ginormous Bumpit? Questions, questions…
And Linda’s just nuts. Well, that’s not very exciting. She does have awesome hair and a killer black strapless evening gown, though.
Character references on the way! Who will they be?
Andree McLeod (also spelled wrong) and Kim Elton? Ohhh kay… Did he just pick random names out of a hat?
Ah, the Death Panel. Very nice. Nancy Pelosi, the President, Harry Reid and … Nostradamus? Wow.
And now under the bus we go. Hey, wait… You guys forgot one! Shannyn is ON the bus…wearing a kerchief??
Look … someone’s been run over. And their wearing… red, naughty monkey pumps?? Oh no! They got Sarah by mistake! AAAAA!

To be continued…

Oh, man. There’s more to come? But they still haven’t explained how we got thrown under the bus! What did they actually do to us? Did George Soros stop sending his huge checks? Did the President freeze our expense account? No more invitations to the Rose Garden? The White House staff has stopped reading the Alaska blogs? Inquiring minds want to know!

Well, I have no idea what to say about this one except it gave me more laughs in four minutes than I’m used to. So big comedy points. But the music HAS to go. That’s going to be running through my head all day. And the special effects were nice, but a bit heavy handed. The venom was cool, and I totally loved the bouncy spiders, but when the spinning granite blocks and the cityscape and the counting thing started, you lost me. And finally, there’s the screenplay. Sorry, my friend. That needs some major work. You might seriously need to outsource that next time. Try to find someone who doesn’t use the derogatory sexist statements. You tend to lose people that way. But I can tell that a lot of time went into this. Time of which our young filmmaker obviously has quite a bit of on his hands.

And to the couple of blogs that actually embedded this thing, whether out of pity, or just because it was something new to embed? Thank you. Pleeease keep associating Sarah Palin with this masterful work of cinematography. I’m sure she would approve.

And don’t forget to double click on the video to go to the YouTube site where you can leave constructive comments of your own. There are already SIX whole comments there, which you may thumb up or down depending on your opinion of them. Do have fun.