Voices from the Flats – Alaska, You’ve Been GOPed!
The GOP Census Hits Alaska
by John Aronno of Alaska Commons
Census season is upon us. Slightly more interesting than the NBA, the census aims, according to the government website, to move the country forward. However, “we can’t move forward until you mail it back.” Ha! So, that’s what happened to health care!
The Republican party, led by Michael Steele, has managed to elicit a message even less charismatic than the White House, sending out a faux-census mailer that is aimed at turning the country into their oyster by way of mass-focus grouping. They have sent out literature that looks like the census, reads like the census, but is preceded by a message of sideways authenticity from Steele, and follows it with a bunch of lunacy aimed at figuring out which direction of crazy the GOP should set course for, full steam ahead.
Tonight, I got my hands on one such copy of the faux-census sent out. This particular copy was sent, no joke, mistakenly to a UAA sorority (which will remain anonymous) and was addressed to the sorority as if it were a first and last name. Nope. Not kidding. This is that “grass roots” they’ve been pushing so hard. The kind that can’t distinguish John Smith from Sigma Sigma. In fairness, they did say that they were trying to diversify.
The mock government document begins with a letter from Michael Steele:
“Dear [I'll refer to the sorority addressed as Sigma Sigma], Strengthening our party for the 2010 elections is going to take a massive grassroots effort all across America.
That is why I have authorized a Census to be conducted of every Congressional District in the country.”
Um, sir? You didn’t authorize a damn thing.
“Enclosed is your official 2010 CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT CENSUS registered CODE #A… in your name as a representative of your area. [bold theirs]
Your registered Census is one of a select few being mailed into Alaska’s 1st Congressional District. [underline theirs]
Because of your high level of political involvement and steadfast commitment to the Republican Party, your personal input on the questions presented in your Census Document is critical to our Party’s future.”
Only if “high level of political involvement” translates to “we thought you might have some conservative tendencies, or you might be a random sorority. Why not, right?”
“Your completing and returning this Census today is central to our Party’s ability to devise a winning Republican strategy in your area – especially as we take on the Democrats in the fight for the future of our nation. It is absolutely critical that we act immediately to build a state-of-the-art grassroots organization in every district around the country.
Your participation will provide us with the detailed information we need concerning Alaska’s 1st Congressional District. We will use the answers you provide to help us win races for Governor, U.S. Senate, U.S. Congress and other key campaigns all the way down the ballot.
So please [Should we switch to Sigma Freud?], take a moment to answer the important questions contained in your 2010 CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT CENSUS and do your best to get it back to me at RNC headquarters by February 11th.
And when you send back your completed Census, I urge you to also demonstrate your commitment to the Republican Party by including a generous donation of $25, $50, $100, $250 – or even $500.
I know things are tough financially right now but I’m making a special appeal for your financial help because we need to make sure we have the funds to fight back against Barack Obama’s, Nancy Pelosi’s and Harry Reid’s liberal agenda for America.
By greatly expanding government and spending trillions and trillions of dollars, the Obama Administration and the Pelosi-Reid dominated Democrat Congress are taking actions today that will prove disastrous to our nation in the long-term. The very fact that our children and grandchildren will be repaying today’s debts decades from now should be inventive enough for you to join in this project.
Barack Obama was barely in the White House a month when he dropped all pretense of “hope” and “change” and laid bare his real agenda of massive tax increases, government-run health care, amnesty for illegal aliens, and bigger, more intrusive government. Today the Democrats’ disastrous agenda is becoming a reality for all Americans and we must stop them.
This is a crucial time in our Party’s and our nation’s history.
That is why, as Chairman of the Republican National Committee, I have no higher priority than the success of this Census project. And the reason this is so important is – given the challenged our country faces – we simply can’t let the Democrats continue to have complete control of America’s future.
We Republicans have got to join forces now to build a nationwide, activist grassroots network pairing the best strategies with the newest technologies to get the truth of our conservative agenda to the American people.
That means we need to go into every Congressional District and election precinct to make sure we know what’s most important to the voters in their area.”
In other words, so far, all they’ve figured out is that people like Scott Brown, it’s fun to leave the “ic” off the tail end of “Democrat” and they need to figure out how to focus on certain hot button issues in order to manipulate the votes. Just like they maximized voter turnout in California and other states with Anti-gay legislation, they are looking for rallying cries from the far right to ensure that every Republican, right leaning independent, or extremist shows up in the midterm elections.
And the best way to emphasize this is by trying to trick people into believing that this is the real Census, authorized by Michael Steele, aimed at stopping President Obama from his planned “massive tax increases” which don’t exist, “government-run health care” which doesn’t exist (single payer was never raised as an option), “amnesty for illegal aliens” which doesn’t exist (unless conservatives want to put regulations on and go after the corporations that don’t want to pay minimum wage jobs and look to slave labor), and “more intrusive government” which is being conflated with the Bush administration, who thought that your fourth and tenth amendment rights to Privacy didn’t extend to your phone calls, emails, or conversations in public.
And, Mr. Steele, you claim to be in touch with Alaska at a grassroots level? This questionnaire and overweight contribution envelop will “help [you] win races for Governor, U.S. Senate, U.S. Congress, and other key campaigns all the way down the ballot” as it pertains to Alaska? Are you looking to dethrone Lisa Murkowski, Don Young, and Sean Parnell? Sir, cutting and pasting does not entitle you to claims of grass roots. You are a hair plug. A bad, bad hair plug. Not grass roots.
But here’s where it gets fun. Question time!
Vote Republican! Change the world today!
Bet Michele Bachmann refuses to fill it out!
I got one of these with all the loaded questions. It had a registration # and demanded a donation or I couldn’t fill it out. In any case they demanded that I send it back, implying that I would be personally responsible if they didn’t get it back. I wrote “Bite Me” in red magic marker across the first page and loaded the envelope with all sorts of spam mail and the original survey. That was such fun!
this doesn’t seem legal. Get it to Rachel. I’m sure she’d love to see this.
We can clone humans! O.o
Well, we must be able to, otherwise why would we need to ban it?
Where can I order a Clive Owen? No price is too high!
LOL at it being addressed to a sorority. I wonder who they bought their list from? They should ask for their money back. LOL
Ripley @ 3 – I agree. Seems to cross the line in terms of imitating official government documents. But that’s what the GOP does these days: it’s not about doing the right thing but about winning for the Right.
I have been a capital D Democrat for years and get these documents all the da*n time…
I always use a red marker and take great delight in drawing a big, fat zero with a line through it on the donation page…
This form was really priceless…it must have take months for them to come up these questions to skew the way dear Leader Steele needs them to to keep his job…
I proudly wrote in “always agree with President Barack Hussain Obama” for every last one of their racist, spiteful questions.
Do I think all Republicans are racist obstructionists?
…no…but too many of them are to be selective anymore.
If they will do it with voting material, why not the census. I like the “trillions and trillions” part, like there was no debt when President Obama took office. They should have just said gazillions. Not sure if the attention span of your average teabagger would get them through all of these questions.
3 R’ipley in CT Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 10:57 AM
this doesn’t seem legal.
______________
what i was thinking to, doesn’t seem right !!
The GOP… what a bunch of (satirical) retards.
My husband received one of these – and he did not vote Republic (shortenin’ the party name to match their version of Democratic). I looked it over and put it aside. Maybe I’ll fill it out with really bad answers and send it back – if I don’t have to put a stamp on it
I found it rather offensive.
Well, at least they dropped the “Has Obama stopped beating his wife? Yes/No” question.
The census is not a partisan thing! The GOP is working against the US by sending out this kind of a mailing at this time in order to confuse citizens about its meaning. They are just anti american. They don’t really care about the country- they just want power.
It also makes me sick to hear the GOP referring to “illegal aliens” instead of “illegal immigrants”. Aliens are just so much more scary. Where are they from? —- Mars??? My God! They’re invading!
I received one and sent it back using their business reply envelope. I wrote on it that I do not subscibe to the tenets of the gNOp. I didn’t vote republic either.
” . . . fight back against Barack Obama’s, Nancy Pelosi’s and Harry Reid’s liberal agenda for America.”
I didn’t realize that the above-referenced persons had a ‘liberal agenda’ because to me it appears the agenda is closer to a ‘center-right agenda’ and it does NOTHING to allow our country to be inventive or make the progress that THE MAJORITY OF THE ELECTORATE VOTED OBAMA IN 2008.
Can anyone tell me ‘when’ this ‘change in America’s agenda’ [that M. Steele is addressing] happened and/or was it made through a ‘ballot, announcement or osmosis’?
AKRaven – yeah, I kinda resent being referred to as a “resident alien”. “Permanent resident” will do just fine. “Resident alien” basically makes me feel like “yeah sure, stay here, work here and pay your taxes here but you’re still an alien technically”.
Plus it makes me seem like I AM an alien…..with tentacles and the whole bit.
I wonder if people in other states (like me) will get one, also too?
As a registered Republic lol, I got one of these and just put it in the trash. I found it offensive also, now I wish I had sent it back with comment. By the way I didn’t vote Republic either, and may never vote for that party again. My hubby has already changed his party affiliation, he just got fed up with them. I’m there too, just haven’t changed yet.
You know, I was going to remark that I have received, over the years, various “Opinion Polls” from the Democratic Party that were — at base — solicitations for donations. And, to be honest, many of the questions are phrased in, shall we say, non-neutral terms.
But then I actually read through the posted material, and there is really no comparison. The bias and “editorial content” of the GOP questions is far more blatant than anything I’ve ever received from the Dems. It’s only comparable to the kinds of questionnaires you get from single-issue advocacy groups, who can generally assume that if you’ve paid to be a member, you probably already agree with them.
What a piece of claptrap.
I particularly liked the section where the respondent is to choose between the Republican and “Democrat” positions on various issues. Hmm, according to the cover letter, this “Census” was sent to a “select few” folks who have demonstrated “steadfast commitment to the Republican Party” (we won’t ask how they happened to find Sigma Freud). Is the RNC seriously concerned about how many of their “select few” are going to prefer the “Democrat” alternative on anything.
Of course, the only answer they actually care about is “How much are you going to send us?”
This needs to be publicized because of the fact-free push polling involved – so skewed, in fact, that the poll itself qualifies as propaganda. It would also be good if the questions could be reworked by professional pollsters and included in other polls for results comparison.
It’s hard to choose a favorite question, but the Future Energy Multiple Choice rates high. With 4 of the 7 listed options being Oil, I wonder how that will turn out.
Same people who sent me, a known Democrat, an invite to a Sean Parnell fundraiser (in Wasilla, no less) and followed it up with a phone call reminder. My husband got the same treatment, separate postcard invite, his very own phone call, etc.
These people must have so much money, they don’t even do same-household mail merge.
I like the “send them back all kinds of junk” in their postage paid mailer!
I get these “questionaires” all the time. I called the RNC telling them to stop sending these, I am a Democrat. The person that answered the phone said they just send them out randomly, so I just close the empty envelope, mail them back in and hope they have to pay the postage!
(I know it’s not much but I do get a cheap thrill thinking they have to spend .42 on my empty envelope. ) The questions are always leading and ridiculous.
Strangely, I don’t get any Democratic surveys.
“I am NOT a crook” or a liar, or corrupt, or deceptive, or devious, or superior, or …, or …, or …
unfortunately, their ‘constituents’ won’t catch on to this…they know they’re the party of no and the party of the uneducated (Utah wanting to eliminate the 12th grade), sky-is-falling (glenn beck), kool-aid serving (palin), afraid and believes anything ‘real’ America …puh leeezzzeee. take all your ammo and do away with yourselves (sorry if I offended anyone, but they make me sooooooo mad)
Wonder if its only being sent to the registered Repubs?
Sure seems like it crosses the line however it does say
“The Republican Party” – rather like that fine print on
credit cards / leases / etc. Technically legal.
My 88 year old mother got one of these and was totally confused by it…all she does is watch Fox news all day, so she is already against the census. I don’t think I ever did convince her that this was just a marketing ploy by the Republican Party to get her to contribute to them. “They would never do something like that”. I wonder how many other seniors are bamboozled by this…think it’s the real census and then get to the part where they have to send them money…after all, that’s just like something they’ve been trained to think Obama would do…that and herding them off to internment death camps.
I sent mine back letting them know I was NOT a Republican and that I was proud to say I voted for PRESIDENT Obama. I hope those returns cost them.
I got this too, and as soon as I saw RNC on it, I knew I was being SPAMMED big time….by the US Mail and not by my computer!! It is complete and utter nonsense that this kind of CRAP isn’t stopped legally….as FRAUD…perpetrated upon who knows how many folks who really DON’T read the fine print.
I can’t decide which disgusts me more: the intentional attempt to make this look like an official government document (and the census, I might remind them, is NON-PARTISAN) or the blatant “OMG, the Democrats are going to kill us all!” and “OBAMA IS THE DEVIL!” ranting going on in here.
It strikes me that if you were truly concerned with strengthening your party and doing what’s best for America, you would never fill your appeal with such filth and lies. Which makes it perfectly clear that this exists purely to promote the fearmongering the GOP loves so much these days, and to scare people into sending money. Nauseating.
My husband received one of these a few weeks ago. I stewed and simmered over it for days with the urge to reply ‘All of them’ to every single question and mail it back to them. However, when it asked at the very end if I was the person noted on the front to sign here _________, I could not lie..hey, I still have morals even if they don’t. I finally just tossed it in the trash, its rightful place.
My dear daddy has no patience with junk mail of any kind. He always fills those prepaid return envelopes with their junk and as much old newspaper as will fit, then mails it back muttering, “Pay for This, Jackass!” He’s got his friends doing it, too. They agree that it might not make much difference, but figure the USPS can use the money. You go, daddy!
Steele, Rush, Cheney, and Company want us to Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid, counting on folks to choose flight over fight in response. I find THAT kind of Republ-ick thinking quite PATHET…ICK!!!
(Note to self re:HomeSchool Homework. Learn how to underline, bold, and italicize when commenting.)
News flash to push pollsters: I taught sixth grade for 20 years.
You. Can’t. Scare. Me.
You do, however, rile me up to speak up and take action.
Winkwink. You betcha!
I´ve shared this article on my facebook page. It is a scandal.
I received one and trashed everything but the postage free envelope. I mailed it back empty.
Gramiam @ #2: That’s hysterical! I hope I get one of these things. What fun! Red Sharpie at the ready!
Definitely send them back Mudpups, I used to do this with junk mail, especially credit card offers.
The only bad thing is they are wasting trees on crap propaganda.
Make them pay the full cost possible, printing, stuffing envelopes, mailing postage, mail back postage and employees to open and tract info. Maybe we can screw up their election plans too, lol.
Let them help the economy. And help them spend their coffers.
Go for it, they asked, send it back, feel free to skew the info, help them spend their money. They are desperate Fools and Shady Cons.
oh yeah and ruin each page if you are sending them back blank, do a big X on each one so they can’t be reused.
Pack in a couple of rocks, also, too. What a sorry lot those rethugs are.
What I noticed was that they almost demanded this piece of propaganda be returned by Feb 11th. I am curious what was the postmark date on this bulk mailing amd when was it sent out. I mean, by my calender it is now Feb 17th. Looks to me they wasted a ton of money and rushed it out kinda late. Does anyone know what the date was on the form they recieved? Talk about a total waste of time and money! Oh, Wait! It was sent out by Micharl Steele on behalf of the GOP! They are pros at wasting our time and money. Sorry, I just had a brain-fart! LOL
I received this a while back – I have NO idea why they sent it to ME – unless they took it from a Republican that I wrote to telling them to quit lyin’ and makin’ stuff up …. at any rate … I feel bad for the person opening and reading/scanning what I wrote. It was kind of like a Howler in the Harry Potter movies. It felt awesome to send …
Can’t wait to get my hands on that.
Bumper sticker I saw on a road trip in California:
Close a factor…Build a Prison
Vote Republican
Instead of adding weight to the business reply envelope by adding paper, how about taping the empty envelope to a brick before dropping it in the mailbox? If only a few people did it, I doubt postal employees would mind. Bet they’re 95% Democrats.
Most solicitations aren’t confident enough of my support to send postage-paid reply envelopes. I recently put a stamp on my reply to a conservative pro-Israel organization I had supported, after receiving a solicitation with anti-Obama smear-and-scare, saying I support our President and telling them to take me off their list.
We don’t need this. Panic-mongering isn’t patriotism, nor cynicism civic virtue. If “just say no” was dumb as drug policy, it is idiotic as ideology. (If I say “dumb” and “idiotic” will I be attacked by the ex-governor with “special needs” (e.g., character and brains), and made to apologize?) Real conservatives don’t demand politicians who have been born again, but politicians who have grown up.
OK, rant off. At least this killed no trees.
They’re doing this on purpose to disrupt the census. (People will get the real one later, think “I’ve already done this.” and throw it away.)
It should be illegal and the GOP should be heavily fined for it.
Too bad we can’t put them in prison like a real PERSON.
Well, if you’re talking weight….how many tuna can lids or washers can you fit in an envelope?
Glitter.
Put a spoonfull of glitter in.
The museum I vbolunteer for just got glitter bombed accidentally by someone trying to make cute valentine signs. Extremely light, fine silver plastic. So far it has cost us $50 in swiffers and a new furnace filter and about 30 hours of work. And it’s still showing up on our maps and archives.
Grrrr.
Washers and glitter.
But you need a trigger. Like a rubber band and paperclip that will jump when the envelope is opened…..spreading the glitter.
The RNC is deaf, dumb, and blind.
My late spouse was a registered Republican. Spouse continues to get GOP solicitations for donations although I have written and called repeatedly to have the name removed from their lists. My letters and calls have been getting increasingly more frustrated and angry….to no effect. My last letter to the RNC included directions to the cemetery where spouse is buried. I told them to go scream at spouse’s grave for their donations because they sure as hell are not getting money from me.
Did it work?…..Well, I got one of these “documents” from Michael Steele in the mail last week. No, nothing works. Once you are on the GOP’s lists, they will hound you to the grave….
I’m going to repost this fake census on Facebook!
My husband got one of these pieces of drek in the mail, too. He wrote something along the lines of “Bite me” across the top and then we loaded the envelope (so courteously provided by the RNC and prepaid) with a bunch of junk mail and other crap. We were seriously considering taping the envelope to a box of rocks and mailing THAT, just so they’d have to pick up the postage. RNC=pond scum, I swear.
AKM, Good Idea (scanning the doc and posting it) .
For the past 2 weeks I have received similar but different messages from GOP leaders from all over the country, with all different instructions.
I will scan them and post them.
Well they should know that their misleading mail sometimes lands in wrong hands. They tapped a wrong address.
We should expose everything they are mailing in the name of grass root.
If they are not getting tired, I am not either.
Thanks AKM
@ Gena = Brilliant.
I will do the same. I think toilet paper sounds good too. LOL
Whenever I get one of these types of things, I do what many of you mentioned – stuff the envelope with other “stuff”, then use their postage free envelope to send it back to ‘em.
Only I stuff the envelope with copies of newspaper articles and polls showing the decline of the Thuggers. In the past, that included articles covering the Thuggers “plan” for health care and polls showing the fleeing of the party. and Most recent example was a couple of weeks ago, when I stuffed the envelope with copies of the articles about the Obstructionist movement of the Thuggers.
So, folks, start saving article where the Thuggers are noted as obstructionists – never know when it might come in handy.
39 mlaiuppa Says: February 17th, 2010 at 8:03 PM
They’re doing this on purpose to disrupt the census. (People will get the real one later, think “I’ve already done this.” and throw it away.)
Which is a good thing, no? Since this is going to Thuggers, if they then DON’T complete the official census, there will be an undercount of Thuggers in their district. This will then change the re-districting done around a bit, as well as the potential total number of representatives in Congress. This will also change the method of allocating government funds back to the states/districts.
For small states, won’t really make a difference, true, since one district is one district.