Alan Grayson Dispatches Palin (Hilarious)
Alan Grayson has really done it this time. I did not think I could love him more, and I was proven wrong with this one email. This is possibly the most hilarious anti-Palin piece I’ve ever read – and trust me, I’ve read a lot of them. I bow to the master of the Palin takedown.
This is an actual email from Rep. Alan Grayson on Palin’s recent visit to Florida. Don’t be drinking anything when you read it.
Subject: Palin Attacks Grayson; Grayson Applies Calamine Lotion to the Resulting Reddish Skin
On Friday night, Sarah Palin came to Orlando, and attacked Rep. Alan Grayson. This is what she said:
“I got to meet quite a few candidates who are lining up in a contested primary who want to take out Alan Grayson. And I think Alan Grayson — what can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won’t say anything about Alan Grayson that can’t be said around children. [Good one, Sarah!] But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That’s what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC.”
Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.
In response to Palin’s attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson’s entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida.
Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin’s imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.
When asked to comment about what effect Palin’s criticism might have, Grayson pointed out, “As the Knave’s horse says in Alice in Wonderland, ‘dogs will believe anything.’” Earlier, as the Orlando Sentinel reported, Grayson said, “I’m sure Palin knows all about politics in Central Florida, since from her porch she can see Winter Park,” which is part of Grayson’s district.
Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it. “I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them,” Grayson added, alluding to Politifact’s “liar, liar, pants on fire” evaluation of much of what Palin has said.
Scientists are studying Sarah Palin’s travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.
I needed that laugh, thanks!
I saw this and immediately afteward donated to his campaign.
Me too the best comebacks I have heard about her yet LOL Braco Mr Grayson
So it’s really him and not The Onion?! Wow.
and, also, too, AKM, your fingertips sure are flying here. Wow some more!
Sorry Bravo and lets show Mr Grayson how much we appreciate someone like him.
‘the wild Alaskan Dingbat’ (smile) That was good. I agree with Paula, I really needed that laugh. Thanks!
I saw this on another site somewhere and laughed myself silly. I thought it was a joke at first, that’s how good it is. Because it’s real, it’s even BETTER!!
WTG Mr. Grayson. Well done and a standing O for you.
Woke up to a downed ,big 0l tree in my backyard–so to cheer up tonight I opened my Mudflats and o’boy does this hit the spot. Tickles the funnybone when it was needed. Thank you Mudflats for the post and Kudos and thanks to Mr. Grayson for the much needed laughter. What a contrast! Brainy over blarney wins every time..
Ouch! I am blushing for her. He didn’t just step on her, he squished her into the ground. Ah well, most of it will go over her head.
I posted Grayson’s call to action on my facebook. I think it’s important to have yet another option for those of us that aren’t yet of “free” Medicare age.
This man is amazing and so intelligent, and yet, a politician. Go figure. I guess there are a few good ones in the whole grifter bunch of our lawmakers.
No one can do a retort to Palin comments like Congressman Grayson! I love this man. I wonder whether the professional grifter knows that Mr. Grayson polls better among republicans than the republican candidates in his own district? Excuse me. I already knew the answer to this question. If Palin is studying anything, her new speechifying doesn’t show it.
I made a contribution, too.
that was priceless. lol
A fundraising email from Grayson:
http://www.graysonforcongress.com/newsletter_detail.asp?OptInEmailId=314
For a woman who espouses to believe that outsiders should mind their own business (those darn Polar Bear hugging liberals down south) speaking on behalf of party that claims to believe in a state’s right to make its own political decisions, she has managed to tromp all over her own and her party’s platform in poo covered, high heeled hip waders. Bravo to Rep. Alan Grayson for knowing when to fight dignified, and when to get out the mop and take it to the muck.
Love the punchline… we’ve known she’s a dingbat, but how wild is she, really?
“…current nothing and future-even-less…” Yep, that about sums it up! Bye-bye, Quitty, thanks for playing!
“Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery.”
How perfect!
A politician who speaks the truth with no-holds-barred! How refreshing. Sent some $$ Rep. Grayson’s way. He’s a keeper for sure.
Here’s where she really shows her ignorance: “But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America.”
” … such a disconnect from the people of America”?????? Has she not read anything about him or what he has done (and why do I even bother asking myself these easily answerable questions …)?
Sarah, let me spell it out for you in simple terms: Rep. Grayson is one of the few people in Congress who IS actually listening to the people of America, rather than to corporate lobbyists.
We need MORE rep. Graysons and also senators with the same kind of fire and spirit and passion for public good and, dare I say his theatrical style (’cause these days, without it, no one pays attention to you).
awesome.
i think i’m politically in love with him, too.
Let’s see how long it takes before some Republican jumps into the fray and accuses Grayson of being disrespectful and all that crap. I’m SOOOOOO glad we have Grayson in D.C. Slowly, we may see more Dems stiffening their spines and speaking out. An advantage Grayson has over others is the fact that he is a very rich man on his own and isn’t as dependent on contributions as some candidates. However, I have donated in the past to him and will do so again shortly.
I tried to watch the video clips of her speaking with Beck in Tulsa, but as soon as her screeching started, I had to turn it off.
You know…. maybe she will have her Professional PR firm ( Bristol )
go on the Googles and interpret (or Jethro Bodine would be ciphering )
all these new words in her Vocabulary.
She won’t know how to respond…Until someone tells her what Mr. Grayson said….
Bristol might be busy with Her other 2 jobs ( she told the Court about ) and may not be able to jump on this right away…
Let’s wait…..tick… tock…. tick… tock…
We need a lot more in Congress like Grayson. He speaks his mind and doesn’t hesitate to do so when he sees something wrong, like $P! She knows nothing about Florida politics. I wish the press could have access to her but just like with the McCain camp, holding her back, not “letting Sarah be Sarah”, it looks like someone else is doing it again!! Who is holding her back from speaking with the press this time? Could it be $arah herself???
After that one the wild Alaskan dingbat is going to need some
serious anti-bacterial ointment on the lashes she got from Grayson.
I donated to his campaign—laughing hysterically the whole time.
Wonderful post. Hysterically funny. Needed that. Go Rep. Alan Grayson, continue to tell it like it is. Courage.
I did my Grayson birthday donation last night
Wonderful comebacks Mr Grayson !!!
Oh man that was perfect! Captured the spirit of all things Palin. AKM, thanks for posting it for us!
I read Rep. Grayson’s article on his website.
It filled me with such glee…I just had to re-read it here.
Rep. Grayson is a true man to the people of America…long may he shine.
wonderful. just wonderful. gotta love that man.
Just what I needed today! Perfect perfection and i wish I could vote for him!
Grayson is great. I have been paying attention to him for a while. I didn’t know he could make social commentary like Jon Stewart. I like him even more now. “Wild Alaskan Dingbat”… hahahahaha! Very true!
I liked the line in her speech where Sarah would have called Grayson some names except that Piper was present. People were concerned that Piper is touring the country with Sarah instead of attending school, and now we know one of the reasons that she accompanies her mom. Piper is the unofficial censor.
that was highly memorable, funny, classy, and good satire that sarah should enjoy – we all know her love for satire.
I agree completely with everything he says and enjoy the humor. However, I think he may want to tone it back and let Jon Stewart say the obvious punch lines. Its time for Grayson to show he is also taking the high road and the high ground by not getting into spitting fights with that fish wife.
About time someone went rogue on this harpy besides the blogs and comedians…..
Pushing back on Palin’s lies, ignorance, and venom will hopefully go mainstream in politics now. Up until now, there has been a professional courtesy extended to Palin by other politicians that is not only blatantly unwarranted (considering her conduct/rhetoric) but has not been returned in kind by this vindictive twit.
LOVE IT!
He does indeed rock. Maybe he should take the high road, but frankly I find his humor and candor a refreshing change from what we hear from most of the DC crowd. Of course MA’s own Barney Frank has his moments too.
Thanks for sharing that
overthemoon @8:23 PM, your point is well taken. It is best to ignore her.
overthemoon-
I respectfully disagree. Dems are notoriously spineless these days and it is hurting the moral of the party. Grayson was attacked as was the POTUS by Palin. This woman needs to be dismissed wholesale (by a politician) because she is “playing politics”. I believe congressman Grayson has said what was needed–no need for anything ongoing. He verbally slayed her and moved on.
Everyone needs to do it because she is rarely confronted and continues this idiotic, clueless dance like a drugged monkey.
Love it, love it. A Democrat with a backbone and a command of the English language. I couldn’t pick out my favorite phrase…
“I tried to watch the video clips of her speaking with Beck in Tulsa, but as soon as her screeching started, I had to turn it off.” ~ GreatGranny2C @ 22
~~~~~~~~~~
I, foolish one that I am, watched the first part of that speech… A few things struck me:
1) When you go out across the nation, Ms Quitty Pants, please do NOT call for “all the Vets” in the audience to stand up. A *Vet* may be a Veteran, but they do not have to be a Veteran. That’s a fact that may not have yet penetrated that bumpitted little head of your’s, but it’s absolutely true. A Vet is one who is trained in the arts of Veterinary Science and who tends to your animals (in a medical way); a Veteran, on the other hand, is one who has served our nation in uniform. Trust me on this one; the VETERAN who shares his life with me is *not* a Vet! Sure, he’s good with animals, and kind to them, and can (and does) take care of them when they’re sick, but he is *not* a “Vet.”
2) Who, exactly, told you that a 45+ woman looked ‘good’/’sexy’/sane in a black chiffon dress, one embellished with black sparkly beads all along the bottom, worn *over* what looks like a pair of light blue –acid washed, perhaps?– *jeans*! (0:45-0:54 of below link) If I were you, I’d fire that person. Pronto! Or at least, never seek their fashion ‘advice’, again. [C'mon, just between us gals...it was Piper who said that was a 'cool look' for you, wasn't it?]
3) And, finally, in this age of instantaneous uploads to the interweb via the intertubes, it might be a good idea if you write (correction: have your ghost writer write *for* you) between 15 and two-dozen distinct speeches for you to give; you’ll need all of them. Now don’t get me wrong, you can still read the speech from the pages on the podium to your audience, it’s just that when you read the same speech, stop . after . stop . after . stop, that it becomes problematic. Giving a ’shout out’ to the local (TV/radio station, HS team mascot, newspaper) whatever, and mentioning the city you are in a couple of times, does nothing to show you’ve put any thought into the actual people you’re addressing. I don’t know about you, Ms Quitty Pants, but I’d be mighty miffed if I shelled out big bucks (or any bucks at all!) to go to a ‘chance of a life time’ event, only to find that I could’ve stayed at home and watched it all on YouTube…and, watching it on YouTube, being able to put it on pause when I had to go pee (or throw up, as the case might be, from listening to you.) When it’s the *exact* speech you give to audiences all over the place, I’m not so much feeling I should bother to pay for it so I can go sit in an auditorium/hall to hear you screech…YouTube is free ~ and, unlike when I ‘go out’ someplace swanky, I don’t have to wash my hair or shave my legs to view it.
Okay…so I lied. I only watched the very first few minutes of the SPs assault on Tulsa; my observations (to her, above) were from those few minutes…even though I pride myself in being a strong woman, I, truly and frankly, could NOT take any more! beth.
Gov. Sarah Palin Speaks at “Taking Our Country Back” Event in Tulsa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3-OhbHk3Kw
new word: Nit-Quit.
Stomp…snort…pout Grayson is so close but can i vote for him…nooooooo, he’s in the next district..and who do i have but Posey
Alan Grayson is the best. Can we please have more like him? Yes, his sense of humor does go a bit beyond the boundaries sometimes, but anyone who takes offense doesn’t understand satire at all. It’ll be interesting to see if Sarah is smart enough to just shut up about Grayson of if she is going to try to keep coming up with more mean things to say.
She so reminds me of a junior high kid who has to have the last word but isn’t a quick enough thinker to say it when it in a timely fashion. Eventually most people figure out that it’s best to just let it go when someone gets the best of you, as Rep. Grayson did. There are too many great comments in there for me to pick a favorite.
I think Willow is helping with her wardrobe and secretly laughing at her.
As a rule I agree with taking the high road but sometimes it’s necessary to speak up and my compliments to Mr. Grayson! Her nibs has been given far too much leeway.
I just love Rep. Grayson! I’ve donated a couple times in the past and when my tax refund arrives I will definitely be sending some more.
I think a major problem for the Dems has been ‘taking the high road’ with the quitter-spitter who still wants to pretend to be a politician! Dems politely standing by (remember Biden at the VP debate) so that it adds fuel & makes her spewing of garbage appear to have any substance.
While Grayson was polite and charmingly funny with his rebuttal, he STOPPED accepting her vindictive ‘mean girlie’ slaps (especially there on his home turf) and just letting her get away with it. He’s got 5 (FIVE) kids, I’m sure Grayson knows how to deal with an immature, unintelligent dingbat when needed.
When is someone going to file a truancy complaint with the Mat-Su Borough School District about Piper’s truancy?
Or maybe she dropped out, and is enrolled in a home school course where her mom is teaching her to write crib notes on her palm?
My compliments to Beth for watching what I just cannot bear to watch (or listen to). If Sarah is repeating the same stock speech with plugged in shout-outs to the local high school, politician and state mascot, she won’t be the only one.
A few weeks ago, a reporter in a local paper did some research on the Washington Speakers Bureau. They are very active in getting all of those speaking dates for Sarah, soliciting everyone from loggers, bowlers and alcohol producers to any conservative audience.
They contacted the people in Dixon, IL, the birthplace of Ronald Reagan, looking for any charity that Sarah could speak to and help raise fund. They turned her down. The closest place that would take her was a small town outside of Peoria. I know, we’ll have to see how it plays there.
The other part of the article indicated the often it is the Speakers’ Bureau who requests a blackout on coverage, no press, TV, recordings, and so on. Many of their highly paid speakers have just the one speech, which is repeated from place to place. As you point out, once it is seen on You Tube, people would not be likely to pay $100,000. for something that has been seen for free.
At the price of $100,000. per speech, you would think that Sarah would put some effort into learning her speech, and not rely on notes (paper, hand, or any other place). I would think that if she was that highly paid as a professional speaker, she would dress the part as a professional woman. Instead, she dresses like a celebrity, looking for attention.
I am glad that she has not sought the services of a voice coach. Someone must have told her how authentic and folksy she sounds. As the audience gets loud, Sarah screeches to be heard over them. (The voice coach would tell her to milk the crowd, wait a minute and not try to talk over them, maybe?) I can’t listen to her, so thanks for the review.
What can one say to “Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, …” other than Wow?
$100,000.00 to speak. How much not to speak?
I agree with Nats and Kath the Scrappy! It is about time that SP get smacked down for her smearing of politicians. Dems should treat her as they treat anyone attacking them and that is to do what Alan Grayson did and that is to expose her ignorance, incompetency, her blatant lies, and her money grubbing ways. Then, just maybe she will sit down and shut the f##k up.
Second application of mathematics to politics:
Palin = Cow Pi
Third application of mathematics to politics:
‘08 presidential election = Bye-bye, Miss American Pi
Sorry, I put my last two posts on the wrong Pi plate.
Grayson rocks! Bet it won’t be long before the Wasilla grifter or her Palin bots descend in mock outrage on Grayson. Break out the popcorn.
Lee323, sounds Pi Spy-worthy to me, whatever pi plate they land on!
Morning Y’All, Sure did look like Beck and Palin fell off the turnip truck in Tulsa. Piper must be working as mommy dearest’s stylist. Isn’t there some tax law that allows kids to work in the family business? And it’s gotta be better than taking out the trash and cleaning up for an allowance.
This is how politics are played. The president isn’t going to roll in the mud with miss piggy but Congressman Grayson will deal her a smackdown, and a very good one at that. Now it’s 4-3-2-1 before st. sarah of the perpetually offended comes out screaming and whining about this spanking. At least this time it won’t be the usual “imagined slight” it was a true put the shrew in her place moment.
@jc in co. That was what was sooo delicious about the smackdown. It wasn’t an “imagined slight,” and no one can mistake what Grayson meant.
And this is why I love Alan Grayson. He says what I AM THINKING. Palin might THINK she represents “real America” but when 70% of Americans do not want Palin to run for President, I think Alan Grayson’s comments might be closer to what everyone really thinks of The Quitter.
Grayson rocks!
Grayson made me laugh, and I thought it was satire, like something Borowitz would write, but Grayson wrote it? LMAO That was just wonderful. Bravo Grayson.
Quote buzzard123 huffington post
The Wild Alasken Dingbat, (dingbatius alaskus).
Known to inhabit mostly northern reaches of the US but occasionally spotted in the lower 48 spreading fear.
Commonly seen with a litter which it uses for protection and diversion when threatened.
A relatively harmless mammal which could suffer from cognative dissonance.
Quote buzzard123 huffington post
The Wild Alasken Dingbat, (dingbatius alaskus).
Known to inhabit mostly northern reaches of the US but occasionally spotted in the lower 48 spreading fear.
Commonly seen with a litter which it uses for protection and diversion when threatened.
A relatively harmless mammal which could suffer from cognative dissonance.
So … she comes to Florida, and needed a ‘local’ reference.
And instead of maybe choosing to support and say nice things about current people running for congress (Marco Rubio for example), she chooses to up-play the negative and strays so far from being classy it’s embarrassing.
What a nasty, nasty woman. Someone obviously drilled into her that being nasty and hurling insults is synonymous with ‘being strong’.
Well, whoever did that was wrong. Real strength is something built over time, with hard work, physical AND mental. Alan Grayson and lots of other people have done that hard work. We know SP has not.
Does she even know there’s an important senate race in this state? Does she read?
Oh. there I go again, asking pointless questions.
I’m a Florida resident, but unfortuately Rep. Grayson isn’t my Representative. I only hope what he said gets broadcast far and wide. The more publicity it gets the more embassing it is for her. With her thin skin, I bet this one really hurts. Too bad she got rid of Staplemouth, she’s now defenseless without having a good acidic reply. No doubt what ever she says or would have said, would only have made her look dumber.
Poor McQuittyPants, couldn’t write a rebuttal on her HillBilly Teleprompter (her hand) and got blitzed by someone who KNOWS the English language. Musta been embarassing.
#67 M Baker, huffpo has a thread up about it & I can’t keep up with the comments they’re coming so fast. Little or no moderation so go post!!
Why isn’t Piper in school? She seems to be a prop for her mother at every one of her speaking gigs.
Grayson is why I like to give to individual members of congress. I makes my picks and pays my money. For instance I would not send money to Mary L but would for someone running against her and i have already.
Every time she uses the word “disconnect” all I can think of is that her mouth is disconnected from her brain. Ok, I’m being generous to assume there is any properly functioning grey matter.
Finally!!! Somebody intelligent has called this imbecile out!!! She has verbally attacked people and nobody has gone to task on shutting her up! Thank you Grayson for smacking the “bully” down in the yard for all to see1 Yes!!!!!
I’m trying to understand the logic of someone who has formulated an opinion of another public figure (whom she barely knows) that she is ashamed to articulate in front of her seven year old.
If she thinks his political philosophy is wrong, that’s not shameful to say in front of a seven year old.
If she thinks he’s untruthful or dishonest, that’s not shameful to say in front of a seven year old.
If she thinks she’s ill-mannered (although hello, pot, meet kettle?) that’s not shameful to say in front of a seven year old.
Even if she thinks he’s misguided, a political careerist, a “Washington insider” or elite, that’s not shameful to say in front of a seven year old.
So what kind of thing would one say about another politician that you’d be ashamed to say in front of a child? What kind of person would have such an opinion of someone she probably never met, with whom she’s only acquainted by news stories? And why is Sarah Palin so proud to tell us that she has those feelings?
Because it seems to me that the only logical conclusion is that she feels hatred for him or wants to spread slander or hateful lies. And what does that say about her?
Oh wow, this is great! My faves are:
“Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.”
“I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them.”
– and the “dingbat” reference was priceless.
#74 – g:
“Because it seems to me that the only logical conclusion is that she feels hatred for him or wants to spread slander or hateful lies. And what does that say about her?”
——-
Yeah, I wondered about that too. She was just pandering to the audience. If she had any class, or tact, or intelligence, she would have talked about issues — and Piper could have used that for a home-school social studies project!
Stupid thing to say.
I got an email today from a WAAAY radical RWing group I ‘joined’ several years ago [but was promptly kicked out of for asking for clarifications and for giving a different POV ---who, me?
] ~ for some reason, I am still in their database for emailing…
In any event, they *used* to address their ‘followers’ with emails sent as: “A message to all members of Constitutional Emergency.” Today’s email is: “A message to all members of Patriotic Resistance.”
I’ve always found their ‘urgent’/breathless/doomsday-is-upon-us messages to be slightly on the spooky side, what with the idiocy they promote/spread, and all, but today’s email, I found to be *really* spooky! The change in how they address their ‘frothers’ was enough to send chills down my spine.
With today’s change in ‘tone’, I’m sure the folks who’re monitoring their activity [the group is on 'the list' as possible/potential Home Grown T-rists due to the nature of their 'thought processes' --or lack thereof-- and their incessant --but 'plausibly denyable'-- 'calls to action'] has intensified the scrutiny. There are surely some real doozies out there; spooky, scary doozies. I don’t envy those who have been tasked to monitor them in the Herculean effort of keeping *all* citizens of our nation safe.
My virtual hat is off to those dedicated men and women who protect us all from the unmitigated batwingery and lunacy of the fringe few. beth.
@Beth:
Agreed! That’s why I don’t mind my tax dollars going to Homeland Security. For the most part, those people earn their money.
And now they’ve got to worry about computer stuff too ……. along with the FBI and CIA.
I still can’t figure out what Palin was doing in Florida! Campaining? For whom? And it’s about time someone called her out and took her down several notches. Ooh when I saw that she was trying to spout politics in Florida I had really scary eerie flashbacks of Anita Bryant on tv in the 70’s saying “I don’t want gays teaching my children, do you?” Ooooh scary…. I really wish she would just stop talking and go away.
Ratfish said “When is someone going to file a truancy complaint with the Mat-Su Borough School District about Piper’s truancy?
Or maybe she dropped out, and is enrolled in a home school course where her mom is teaching her to write crib notes on her palm?”
I’d also like an explanation! I’ve said it before but I think there is something really weird going on that Piper is ALWAYS there, everywhere, every speech, every signing, every performance. She doesn’t go to school or is she at the School of Hard Knocks? And Sarah seems to treat her like Piper is her personal counselor/guru/good luck charm/spiritual leader. Freaky, I say!
@Jamie:
Yeah, this thing with Piper is really strange. It’s been going on ever since the campaign began last year. How can they say she’s doing any schoolwork?
So I take it that Piper is now a elementary school drop out. The Palin’s sure value dumb, don’t they?
Piper’s future will be as a reality show contestant for famous kids who enter rehab.
On another note, as an “Evangelical Christian”..what is Palin saying about others that she can’t say in front of her child. Me thinks she is also faking her faith. A “Real Christian” wouldn’t be speaking ill of another person in language that couldn’t be used in front of a child….no matter who is in the room.
I ♥ ♥ ♥ Alan Grayson!!!