The Mudflats

Tiptoeing Through the Muck of Alaskan Politics

Open Thread – Troll of the Week!

(In my best TV announcer voice) Yes that’s right, boys and girls, it’s time for another installment of your favorite Mudflats feature – Troll of the Week! (you all bounce up and down in your seats, clapping)  In this episode we discover an interesting hybrid troll flailing around in the mudroom.  (The mudroom is that back room that I see and you don’t, that saves you from the intrusion of these pesky critters into our nice friendly living room.  It works kind of like a real mud room.)

This hybrid is a combination of two common troll types: the virulent troll, and the mouth breathing troll.

The virulent troll’s weapon of choice is name calling and insults.  When faced with the primitive emotions that well up within it when it reads something that challenges its mental capabilities, it will typically react by hurling epithets such as “libtard” and “socialist” and “Marxist leftist communist fascist.”  This is the most common type of troll, and I usually just fling them out the door because they’re plentiful and not particularly interesting.  They are the mosquitoes of the troll world.

The mouth breathing troll, on the other hand, is much more fun.  These are the trolls that blew spitballs, and rolled their eyes, and nodded off in English, and History class.  They show up at rallies with signs that say things like ”Keep the government out of my Medicare” and “Homeskoolers for Palin!”  I do like this kind.

And that brings me to the discovery of our Troll of the Week.  While appearing simply virulent at first, a closer inspection revealed the presence of some recessive mouth breather tendencies.  It was enough of an unusual find, I thought I’d share it with you.

(I reach into a little muslin bag and pull out a wriggling little critter who has just crawled out of the mudflats)

I should mention that this troll was discovered commenting on the post that asked people to call their Assembly members if they objected to the nomination by Mayor Dan Sullivan of a man to the Budget Advisory Committee to the School Board whose qualifications seemed to be church membership, Bible Camp, fighting an anti-discrimination ordinance, and promoting an anti-choice ballot measure that left out key points in order to keep certain information from the public.  You can read all about it HERE for more background.

Here’s what it had to say:

Freakin thought police, little freakin Nazi thought police.

Right away it’s interesting.  “Nazi” is usually the last resort of the virulent troll, but this one leads with it right away.  And though accusations of Naziism come so quickly, he chooses the watered down “freakin” instead of dropping the f-bomb.  There’s also the Orwellian “thought police” reference, but we can’t tell if it actually knows the source or if it’s just a catch phrase it learned from another troll.

If somebody has opinions that are different than your own, what do you do?  You call out the hounds, gather the masses and their pitchforks and start a commotion.

This is where I fell in love with the little guy, and realized that he actually had some of the more lovable and amusing “mouth breathing troll” in him.  Yes, my little troll friend.  It’s called the first amendment.  And it’s also called “the way democracy works.”  I can just imagine our little guy calling out the founding fathers with that accusation.  And the fact that it hasn’t used a four letter word or even an exclamation point by now is amazing!

Yeah, Sarah Palin is offensive, but do you know what?  So are you, Ms, Devon, so are you.

Not sure whether I buy the first part, or whether this is a triple hybrid with a dash of “concern troll” thrown in or not.  But here we repeat the question/answer pattern and we throw in a lovely dramatic ending, with the “so are you” repeated for effect.  I imagine it accompanied by the pointing of a bony finger and a very menacing voice.

And after this comment, it came back for more!  Here’s where the virulent troll comes back, including the reference to bodily functions, which is again a reaction to the frustration resulting from a lack of debating ability and knowledge.  This usually comes before Nazis, but not always.  Let’s look.

Pissing your pants again I see, Depends® might be an option for you and Moore as it seems that you just can’t help yourselves anymore.  I’ll jump right up and make that call right away, to Airport Pizza thought, [sic]  it’s dinner time!

lolololololololol, my God you are pathetic.

It does earn a point for the use of the registered trademark symbol which classes up the bodily function reference. Interesting that the one and only exclamation point comes only after talking about ordering from “Airport Pizza thought”.  (See above) We’ve also got some overuse of commas, typos and general sloppiness.  This post may have come after the drinking began.  This is only speculation.  My favorite part of this one, hands down,  is the lolololololololol which translates (for the benefit of the troll) to:

Laugh out loud out loud out loud out loud out loud out loud out loud out loud.

More appropriate would have simply been:  Hahahahahahahahahaha, which translates to a laughing sound.

Whew.  That one wore me out.  I hope you enjoyed today’s little lesson in Troll-ology.  Now I’m going to scoot this fellow out the door, and he can toddle on back to Seward from whence he hailed.  Everyone wave goodbye to Ray Jay!  (we wave)

Post Metadata

Date
June 10th, 2010

Author
AKMuckraker

Category

Tags



159 to “Open Thread – Troll of the Week!”


  1. 1
    GoI3igNo Gravatar says:

    You probably confused him by reaching in that muslin bag. I bet he thinks that’s a bag that was made at a mosque.

    Cheers!

    • 1.1
      fromthediagonalNo Gravatar says:

      … reaching in that “muslin” bag… great visual!
      … I bet he think that’s a bag “made at a mosque”… priceless!
      Gol3ig, that was some astute thought, congratulations. You and AKM both made my day.

      • 1.1.1
        fromthediagonalNo Gravatar says:

        Yikes! I was laughing so hard that I did not see the typo above: It should be “he thinks” of course. Sorry!

  2. 2
    GramiamNo Gravatar says:

    I love your posts on Troll 101. I feel like I’m taking a masters seminar in Trollology. Thanks for sharing AKM!

    • 2.1
      nswfmNo Gravatar says:

      I wasn’t going to brag about this, but since I saw your comment, I will.

      This AM, one of my professors from grad school asked if he could put something I’d written in his class in a book he’s publishing in September. I’d forgotten all about this particular assignment since it was 14 years ago, but not the events around it, until we talked this AM. I was flattered that he was going to put it in the section of “pulling it all together.” It was a nice way to start the day.

    • 2.2
      bubblesNo Gravatar says:

      trolls are like roaches you can call the exterminator and before the man can get out the door you hear them laughing and getting ready for a party. AKM i love the posts on trolls like Grami says reading your posts is like getting a masters degree in ‘being a smart and loving human.’ love you.

  3. 3
    dowlNo Gravatar says:

    Do the dishonored featured trolls ever get angry and respond when they are outed as ‘troll of the week?’ Or are they just simply banished forever from commenting?

  4. 4
    fishingmammaNo Gravatar says:

    Bless his slimy little tiny mind.

  5. 5
    Bones AKNo Gravatar says:

    Cute, well done. I sometime drop the F-Bomb myself, but try not to do it in print. One of the things that will raise my BP (damn, can not use that abbreviation any more) is not understanding about separation of church and state, those folks DO push my buttons.

  6. 6
    thatcrowwomanNo Gravatar says:

    Love the image of the “wriggling little critter who has just crawled out of the mudflats.” And it fits in a little muslin bag?! A bag Bigger than a teabag? (giggling)

    When I think “troll,” I think 3 Billy Goats Gruff and the BIG mean resident under that bridge. You’d need catapult to launch a troll like that, and some able assistants, there, also. Too.

    Now I picture Our AKM with a badminton racket (Hey! It’s summer vacation…) swatting those pesky trolls up, up, and away.

    Kinda puts things in perspective, eh?

    Looks like another good day to be outside…I’ll be back inside about dark thirty. :)
    See you later, sweet potaters.

    • 6.1

      3 Billy Goats Gruff was one of the first stories I learned to read by myself….I think I was 3! Always a favorite.

      Trolls…why do they bother? Nice smack-down, AKM.

  7. 7
    Sweet WilliamNo Gravatar says:

    Hahahahahahahahahaha!

    • 7.1
      WallflowerNo Gravatar says:

      Maybe the repeated “lolol . ..” etc was an attempt to evoke echo-chamber effects. I liked the “little freakin Nazi thought police” line for its scansion. Maybe he’s a frustrated Beat poet. Oh, and He might read Elmore Leonard, or Robert Parker, both of whom leave off the g on words ending in “ing” as a stylistic choice. Maybe there’s hope for this guy.

  8. 8
    jimzmumNo Gravatar says:

    Bless his/her/whatever’s heart. Lol, lol. Thank you for this installment of Trolling. I had never realized the myriad varieties of the common troll until you started teaching us. I do hope you wore gloves before handling this particular critter. I’d hate for you to get virulented.

  9. 9
    B in CoNo Gravatar says:

    What the heck is Airport Pizza thought? The troll must be Palin, she learned all this Nazi stuff at her rallies.

  10. 10
    BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

    I always wonder if the trolls mutter to themselves as they’re clackity clacking out their angry little posts. I imagine a sort of cross between Gollum from “Lord of the Rings” and Mr. Magoo.

    Morning All !

  11. 11
    ToesInTheSandNo Gravatar says:

    I love trolls….pure entertainment. I too have to ask, like B in CO above “What the heck is Airport Pizza thought”? Lost me on that one.

    I inadvertantly became involved with a local forum in my area a couple years ago that was FULL of trolls. (at the recommendation of a couple friends who thought it was a great forum) I should have perused more diligently before offering any of my political opinions, as it was, in fact, owned, operated and moderated by the biggest troll, the Troll Leader, if you will. He even had 8 screen names of his own to combat us “Libtard-socialist-baby killer-communist-Hussain-loving-anti-Palin freaktoids. (his words)

    Naive ME even sends a PM to said “Forum Admin” only to then be singled out and accused of all kinds of bizarre behavior (multiple screen names, etc) and then I was “banned”. (for only about 2 days though, after a msg to him from a techie friend of mine was received) We called HIM out on HIS shenanigans! Of course, I no longer post….but I do go back and read the troll forum just for fun.

    Yes…..I troll for trolls. At times, almost tempted to chum when trolling, but alas, that would make me a troll as well. Great job outing them and your descriptions are spot on! One of my favorite “morning coffee Mudflats posts”!

    • 11.1
      AKMuckrakerNo Gravatar says:

      It was supposed to be “…Airport Pizza, though.” A troll typo.

    • 11.2
      WallflowerNo Gravatar says:

      I think it’s meant to be, “I’ll make that call, but it’s to Airport Pizza, though.” (As in, “Psych! Fooled you all, you silly freakin little Nazi thought police, you!”)

  12. 12
    bethNo Gravatar says:

    Maybe if I knew what “Airport Pizza thought” might possibly be, I’d not be so seriously confused about how it’s a segue from the Depends comment.

    As for the wonderful lesson in Troll-ology, to quote Ray Jay: “lolololololololol”! Thanks, AKM. beth.

    • 12.1
      BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

      My guess is that trolly-wog meant to say ” Airport Pizza though”. So instead of making the call that AKM had suggested in her post, he says he’s going to order pizza. I suppose he thought that was quite the smack down.

      Silly little things ….

      • 12.1.1
        B in CoNo Gravatar says:

        Thank you for clearing that up for me BuffaloGal. Interesting name for a pizza place, guess the guy or gal lives by an airport. Maybe the fumes have gotten to him.

        • 12.1.1.1
          DagianNo Gravatar says:

          Frederick Airport has the best french fries. Or so I was told by my daughter and niece. They “made” my father fly them there often enough as little sprouts just to eat those french fries!

          I have a masterpiece about Trolls–a Field Guide. It’s a little long, but I’ll try to post it later. It’s very funny.

      • 12.1.2
        frsbdgNo Gravatar says:

        They don’t seem to be very big on proofreading. Over at C4P the other night, someone had posted how Tuesday was a great day for “Sarah Plain.” I’m not making that up.

  13. 13
    merrycricketNo Gravatar says:

    Those hybrid trolls are the love children of the right wing, extreme christian, political trolls who resign after being caught in scandal.

    The virulent trolls, the ones as common as mosquitoes, are a tastey treat for the rare and interesting Spam Bat dontcha know…..

    Spam Bats live in the ether of the intartubes and in general, keep the environment in balance. A single Spam Bat can eat as many as elebenty hundred seven trolls in a day! Spam Bats breed only in intelligent ecosystems. The Mudflats is an ideal setting for Spam Bats to flourish.

  14. 14
    merrycricketNo Gravatar says:

    My favorite bumper sticker from MANY years ago just popped into my head. It read: Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are cruncy and taste good with ketchup!

    • 14.1
      DagianNo Gravatar says:

      http://www.azuregreen.com has that bumper sticker available right now. For 63 cents! They also have a whole bunch more that simply say, “Birthdays, Christmas, New Year’s gifts, going away presents…why limit myself?”

      I’ve got $16 worth of bumpersticks on order.

      Between the bumperstickers and http://www.despair.com, I’m good.

    • 14.2
      InJuneauNo Gravatar says:

      There are shirts like that too, in the Signals catalog maybe…

      I love that!

  15. 15
    aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

    Bye Ray Jay!!!!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! That’s me waving really heartily AND laughing out loud!!

    Awww….that was so fun, I love Troll of the Week =)

    I love how it thought that telling AKM she was offensive – JUST LIKE SARAH PALIN – would…..deter Mudflats?? Yeah, ok, nice try. hahahaha

    Somebody has to point out the truth about Palin and if THAT is offensive to Palin trolls – then boo freaking hoo, get over it and better yet – LISTEN UP – she is a fraud, it’s been proven time and again.

  16. 16
    jimzmumNo Gravatar says:

    Off I go to City Hall to get the 346973245 permits we are going to need over the summer. About half are for remodeling of this house, and the other half are for various community events. Man, I have to stop being out of town for committee meetings because it seems as if that is when it is decided I can be the one to fill out all these forms!

  17. 17
    JuneaudreamNo Gravatar says:

    Oh what a tasty-treat..to go w/moi..morning coffee! Thank you!

  18. 18
    OMGNo Gravatar says:

    Very fun Troll talk ,educational too!

    Now for another laugh at our favorite boob:

    http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b185102_did_sarah_palin_get_new_boobs.html

    • 18.1
      GramiamNo Gravatar says:

      A commenter on Huffpo has a new name for Ms. Palin. Quittypantstittytop!

      • 18.1.1
        merrycricketNo Gravatar says:

        A friend of mine remarked the other day; “I see your favorite wanna-be politician has been to Hootter Helper.” I Loled :p

        • 18.1.1.1
          DagianNo Gravatar says:

          We can have that made into a bumper sticker. For those who prefer to buy stuff rather than wrestling with paypal. I hate paypal.

          http://www.makestickers.com/home.asp

          Ooh…what about a fun contest to see whose witty comment warrants a bumper sticker (proceeds to this site)?

    • 18.2
      physicsmomNo Gravatar says:

      Keith O. mentioned a tweet like this tonight and provided the best reply he saw:

      Tweet 1: Did Palin get new boobs?

      Tweet 2: No, I think she has the same followers as always.

      I loved it! KO is making the best of Twitter, which I still think is the Devil.

  19. 19
    MollyNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Ms,,,, Devon!!

    Thanks, for, the, funny, post!

  20. 20
    BordoNo Gravatar says:

    Right-wing trolls are so very amusing. . .like watching the chimps at the zoo at feeding time. Okay, okay. The chimpanzees are smarter and better bred, but you know what I mean.

  21. 21
    B in CoNo Gravatar says:

    Murkowski on C-span2 railing about EPA. How can anyone be against clean air? I think she needs to spend some time on a Pediatric Unit where the majority of the patients are hospitalized with asthma. Let her explain herself to the parents.

    • 21.1
      jojobo1No Gravatar says:

      You know I wonder the very same thing as the air quality in my state has warnings just recently about air quality being bad and to keep the elderly ,infirm and people with breathing problems indoors. and people like her want our air to be like china where you have to wear masks in the cities.I saw that during the Olympics.I could not believe the air was so bad you had to wear masks.Does anyone not think that if you have breathing problems that a mask would make it worse?

  22. 22
    ElsieNo Gravatar says:

    “I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!” -William Shakespeare

    Those trolls are SO VERY MUCH out of their league when trying to duel with AKM. They are just too dense to even suspect they simply need to shut up and sit down in the presence of her greatness.

    Go, AKM!

    • 22.1
      aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

      fantastic quote from Shakespeare, I am stealing it! hehe

    • 22.2
      frsbdgNo Gravatar says:

      In astronomy, there is a term called the “event horizon” – it’s the point at which the gravitational pull is so great that even light cannot escape, hence creating a black hole. Palin and her worshippers exist within an event horizon of stupidity: they are so stupid that they have no concept of how stupid they are.

    • 22.3
      zyggyNo Gravatar says:

      There is no way any of them could keep up with AKM’s wit and acerbic humor. I sort of kinda pity the troll that she outs the troll in front of us. Okay, not really. I’m thinking that troll might be 17 at the most? LOL AKM, you’re picking on children, or adults that write like one.

      OMG, I’m at work right now and co-workers are looking at me as I laugh and laugh. Thank you AKM, you so made my morning better. Two big thumbs up for AKM.

    • 22.4
      Martha Unalaska Yard SignNo Gravatar says:

      Perfect!

  23. 23
    aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

    Speaking of trolls – here is a great analysis of the “Call Me!” facebook post by Bob Cesca:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-cesca/sarah-palin-demands-hardb_b_606774.html

    “Sarah Palin only really supports the opposite of whatever she perceives to be the position of the president. This is the basis for the entire modern post-Bush Republican-slash-tea party movement. Do the opposite. Push for the opposite. There’s no concern for consistency or hypocrisy. The platform is very simply: we believe the opposite of anything the president, the Democrats and the progressives say, regardless of whether it’s contradictory, crazy or stupid.”

    • 23.1
      rebekkahNo Gravatar says:

      So true. And they do the opposite of anything the Democrats, the President says, regardless of whether it saves lives, livelihoods, fisheries, animals, plants, economy, the air quality, tourism. If President Obama had early on had a team ready for any kind of natural disaster, she’d still be on Fox complaining with Hannity even if it was a total success. It almost seems like they rejoice now because people are in a very bad way, the use the plight of the afflicted for a political pulpit to bully and chide the leaders when they are trying to overcome a very complex situation.

      What a sorry sorry miserable bunch of people Sarah and her ilk are. Christian? I don’t think so.

      • 23.1.1
        aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

        Yeah I told my husband months ago – the President could go personally from door to door to every single American household handing out puppies and money and Palin would be OUTRAGED.

        She is truly the most ridiculous and stupid public person in the history of the world.

    • 23.2
      North of the RangeNo Gravatar says:

      A commenter on Rumproast the other day, in their post about SP and the Facebook call-me thingy, thought that she should “put up or shut up”, because

      “America needs a leader, not a backseat driver.”

      Classic.

      http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/potus_talks_to_ppofb/

  24. 24
    LynnrocketsNo Gravatar says:

    That was a hilarious post. I must admit however, that I did not understand the “Airport Pizza thought” reference. Maybe I am slipping into the intellectual realm of the trolls. In any event, I thought I might contribute a little dittie about the Tea Party and their “less activist govt./oil spill” catch-22. Please enjoy.

    Garden Party song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

    TEA BAG PARTY

    (sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

    I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
    But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
    When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
    That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

    But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
    You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

    Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
    Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
    ‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
    Sarah Palin sportin’ F-me pumps while just winking her eyes

    But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
    You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

    Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

    Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
    Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid, and Palin is to blame
    I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
    Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

    But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
    You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

    Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
    Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

    Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
    Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
    If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
    Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

    But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
    You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

    Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
    Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

    But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
    You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

    • 24.1
      Susan in PANo Gravatar says:

      Lynnrockets, you are awesome as usual! My favorite line: “Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck” – perfect! I think I need to memorize these lyrics –

    • 24.2
      bubblesNo Gravatar says:

      loved it Lynnerockets. my favorite i think.

  25. 25
    MollyNo Gravatar says:

    Testing, testing?

  26. 26
    MollyNo Gravatar says:

    Funny post, Ms, AKM

  27. 27
    LANo Gravatar says:

    Maybe we could have a troll pizza naming contest…teehee

  28. 28
    MichelleNo Gravatar says:

    lololoololololol
    Oh wait… Hahahahahahahahaha…OmGoodness that was funny, I need to take a shower, after I go to the, airport, while I pour another drink, for later, do you like pizza?

  29. 29
    rebekkahNo Gravatar says:

    AKM should write a memoir, called “Memoirs of My Trolls”, or “Mudflats’ Strolls with my Trolls”.

  30. 30
    Renegade80No Gravatar says:

    Poor old stupid troll (Airport Pizza thought??) but you buried him deep. We can only hope he stays buried, but these creepy crawlers have a way of getting back to the surface where they can wrap themselves in Prevo christianity and hope no one can see inside the vile things lurking in their brain and soul (if they have one).

  31. 31
    BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

    aussiegal @20 – thanks for that Cesca link to HuffPo. Read a good one from him yesterday too.

    And speaking of Cesca – How in the world did I miss the segment of his blog where “Going Rogue” was being reviewed by two guys going back and forth in an online chat? They make mention that Shannyn posted about them while it was going on so I assume some folks here were following. Omigawd, it’s hilarious !

    Here’s a link to their review of Chapter 3. Mind you, they’re having cocktails and typing off the cuff so they go off track from time to time. Oh, and the language gets pretty raw. But lordy it’s worth the read:

    http://www.bobcesca.com/blog-archives/2009/11/why_me_not_pres_4.html

    Here’s a bit of it :

    REDMOND: But, wait, fun fact time: Sarah Palin boasts that she never cries. BUT, dear readers, here’s a special treat when she does: During the singing of The Star Spangled Banner. Or when troops get deployed. And seeing newborn babies. AWWW, how absolutely f***king convenient like every other sentence in this thing.

    ELVIS: And when Baby Jesus stubs his toe on Bill Ayers.

    REDMOND: I apologize for my boiling rage, folks. I literally just finished Chapter 3 moments ago.

    ELVIS: Yeah, it’ll do that to you.

    REDMOND: And it BURNS.

    • 31.1
      DagianNo Gravatar says:

      Wait! Wait! Can’t we mentally whip her with her own published word salad? I mean, we can build upon their work, right?

      “REDMOND: Sarah Palin rails about oil companies taking jobs to other countries with less work and environmental regulations. Then forms PSIO or PISO which, surprise, regulates oil companies so they clean up their work sites.

      ELVIS: Correct. Sensible policies for a happier Alaska!

      REDMOND: Just another beautiful WTF moment for Sarah Palin. I hate regulation because it cost jobs, but hey, looky here, I started a regulatory organization.

      ELVIS: I loved that part, though: How unfortunate it was that Government regulations about, oh you know, F**KING SAFETY AND THE ENVIRONMENT made it so hard for Alaskans to f*ck us all over $140/barrel oil.”

      Only now, we can call it “current events”. Or civics.

      • 31.1.1
        Nebraska NativeNo Gravatar says:

        OK… spent time at work on this blog, tears rolling down my face!!!! These guys are GOOD!!!!
        Buffalo Gal at 31 has the link… Holy cow!

        • 31.1.1.1
          Nebraska NativeNo Gravatar says:

          Tears from laughter… not sadness… sigh hit submit too soon…

          • 31.1.1.1.1
            BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

            My daughter was late heading out to work today because I was laughing so hard that she kept demanding that I read it out loud. We were doubled over. I had to finally boot
            her out of the house but she left here laughing.

            Dagian, I was thinking the same thing. Her words come back to hit her in the face and it reminds me of the Monty Python “Fish Slapping” skit.

            ( well worth going to YouTube and searching “Python and Fish Slapping” )

  32. 32
    DagianNo Gravatar says:

    A Field Guide to Trolls

    Trolls are some of nature’s most magnificent beasts. Their variety, baffling habits and amazing talent for mimicry makes them fascinating to any budding naturalist. Fortunately, they are common throughout the virtual world — you may be able to spot them in your own backyard! Here are some simple tips to help you track, observe and interact wth the elusive Troll.

    1. Assume that Trolls are nearby. You may not see them at first, for they are charming creatures and seek to camouflage themselves by reflecting the tone and color of their surroundings. You don’t need to travel to exotic locales or purchase expensive Troll detection gear. Simply observe carefully. If you are patient, a Troll will eventually make itself known to you.

    2. Understand a Troll’s basic living requirements. Like any creature, Trolls need to eat to survive. The basic dietary requirements of Trolls are daily servings of Attention, and regular meals of Controversy. Trolls have a variety of methods of meeting their Attention needs, although eliciting sympathy is the most common tactic, usually through some believable, but undeniably sad, tale of woe. Another Attention-garnering technique is to parrot the usual message of the environment, i.e. Teaching Their Grandmother to Suck Eggs. Their Controversy requirements can vary greatly. Some Trolls can wait weeks or months before igniting a Controversy, others only a day or so. But all Trolls require Controversy, and it’s one of the more foolproof methods of detection.

    3. Although they are chameleon-like in their ability to blend with their habitat, Trolls, like leopards, cannot change their spots. Every Troll has a telltale habit, some signature “issue”, that allows you to classify it. It could be a misspelled word, or a pet phrase, or even a favorite psychoanalyst. By observing the patterns, you will identify your Troll. When you do, remember to stun it, tag its ear for tracking purposes, and release it back into the wild.

    4. Prepare yourself in advance to deal with the consequences of exposing a Troll. Trolls fear the sunlight and when cornered, will turn vicious very quickly. A Troll’s first line of defense is Denial. It will protest vigorously for a time, and with such innocence that you will be tempted to believe you were mistaken. Remain firm. The protests will become more and more passionate, but they will be abandoned eventually. The Troll will then attack the integrity of everyone in its environment. Concurrently, it will attempt to find a defender, someone who will deny the Troll’s Trollness and appeal to the goodwill of the community. Don’t be hoodwinked. The final Troll defense strategy is to Storm Off In A Huff and Promise to Never Return. The Troll may indeed leave the environment for a short time. But, having found a reliable food source, you can be sure he will return to his home territory when he feels the danger has passed.

    5. If your Troll infestation has become serious, remember the old adage, “Starve a Troll, Feed a Fever.” While Trolls are interesting to observe and such fun to feed, remember they are wild animals first and foremost. You do not want to acclimate them to living with humans, much as you would not want grizzly bears learning to raid your trash cans. There will be too many opportunities for dangerous encounters if they lose their fear of people. Your only recourse is to cut off their food supply. If they stop receiving Daily Attention, a Troll will make several attempts to elicit his desired response, but in time, he will move to more fertile pastures. Their natural habitat is abundant, and they are in no danger of extinction.

    Now, get out there and find those Trolls! They’re waiting for you!

    • 32.1
      BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

      Ok – that’s a good one and had me lolol-ing.

    • 32.2
      fromthediagonalNo Gravatar says:

      That Field Guide to Trolls is superb.
      I picture them in the way of Brian Froud’s books and tarot card drawings. The difference is that those trolls are drawn with an amused but loving brush, done with a humourous touch. Unfortunately the political trolls which plague us would not know humour if it bit them in the proverbial backside.
      Thank you for a big grin during these awful, oil soaked days… hey, do you think we could get them to feed on the abundant syrupy mess? There may be enough of them to possibly clear the coast. And then there may be those who would love the “snotballs” as a diver described them, in the underwater plumes..
      Naw… they are loath to try new things as it is… which is their problem to begin with.

  33. 33
    Baker's DozenNo Gravatar says:

    Haven’t read the other comments, but thought you’d like to know Lisa made the lead article of an international newspaper. Here’s a link to the article, since she may get bumped from lead article status.
    http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2010/0610/Senate-vote-Should-EPA-have-authority-to-regulate-greenhouse-gases

    • 33.1
      Baker's DozenNo Gravatar says:

      Not that I keep an eagle eye on the Christian Science Monitor, but I don’t remember our dear SP being the headliner by herself since she was introduced at the RNC. After that, she was always with McCain.
      Ha ha! Bested by a Murkowski!

  34. 34
    ElizabethNo Gravatar says:

    I’m enjoying the exposition and comments on trolls. I came over here on a more serious mission, and now find myself reluctant to break into this merry band. I wish to express my love, concern, and prayers for all the friends and family of the Anchorage police officer shot during a traffic stop. I pray she recovers, but it is a stark reminder of what our police risk on our behalf.

    • 34.1
      leenie17No Gravatar says:

      One more of those special people who run TOWARDS danger while the rest of us are running away. Positive thoughts and prayers being sent her way.

      • 34.1.1
        bubblesNo Gravatar says:

        just so. may she overcome this terrible occurrence and be healed and delivered.

  35. 35
    rebekkahNo Gravatar says:

    Just happened upon a SP topic on “boobs”, seems it’s everywhere in the “lamestream” media. Did she or didn’t she? Since I’m on my second cup (of coffee, pardon the pun), I have a thought on that: as an individual she has a right to do whatever she wants, if stories are true of her having surgically-enhanced thingies. But what aggravates me, is her verbal fight against universal health care, or at least a new reform, for those who can’t afford life-saving treatments.

    A public figure who tries to block any health care against citizens, who then turns around (if true) and gets cosmetic surgery of any kind is the ultimate in hypocrisy. Who gets cosmetic surgery? Those who have a very good insurance backup plan, essentially, those with money. Even Medicare (I don’t believe) doesn’t pay for ANY treatments for post-complications arising out of (vain) cosmetic surgery. The patients have to pay out of their own pockets for unexpected post-surgical complications.

    This is why the media picks on this subject. Not because they care in the least about a woman’s size. But, this woman who preaches on family values, and young women’s self-esteem would turn around (if indeed she did) have a procedure done, that tells her young daughters that they have to look sexy, youthful and beautiful all the time. And doesn’t give a cr@p about struggling families who can’t even afford a set of ex-rays.

    2 things: If Sarah Palin ever did have any kind of cosmetic surgery for vanity (there’s no proof, however, but it sure looks that way), what does this show to young daughters who are looking up to mama grizzlies to show good examples? Anyone see this hypocrisy? And what political leader is going to step on a poor man’s chance to get health treatments, yet spend exhorbitant amounts of money to make herself look sexy, with no worries about how to pay for possible complications?

    • 35.1
      Enjay in E MTNo Gravatar says:

      Would she still be able to claim she is a ‘rill American ??!!
      Now that some “parts” aren’t ‘rill???

  36. 36
    leenie17No Gravatar says:

    Hey, AKM…since Troll-ology appears to be a weekly class, are you going to offer CEUs?

    I’m home early from school, taking half a sick day. Can anyone explain to me why my kiddos are soooo bad at sharing crayons, but extraordinarily generous about sharing things like strep throat, pink-eye, bronchitis, lice and…today’s special…intestinal viruses???? Anyone???

    Sigh…

  37. 37
    BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

    AAARRRGGGHH !!!

    Transcript of yesterday’s Hannity show w/ Palin :

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,594331,00.html

    **** PALIN: Throw in there, too, decreased consumer confidence, too. And then we even haven’t talked about national security issues either. But I think what the president is realizing is that his lack of executive experience is coming into play right now.

    I know that he mocked and chided others who did have experience in the campaign and he acted like being a community organizer was all that it was going to take. What the president needs to do is really humble himself and I say it with all due respect because I so respect the office of the presidency. But to humble yourself and call those around you who — on a nonpartisan basis, please call those around you who can give you the best advice and provide some answers to get us out of some of the problems that we’re facing right now, not just with the oil spill.

    And, you know, I’ve offered the greatest oil and gas team in the world assembled, I believe, because they’re up there in Alaska helping to produce nearly 20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy. But not just with the oil spill, but with the economy and with our military and how it is that we should be treating our allies, not poking them in the eye.

    All those things. He needs to call in those around him and kind of broaden his inner circle of confidants because right now it sounds like the inner circle that he has are some Chicago thugs. And that’s not doing our country much good.

    So calling in more people to advice him, and humbly accepting that advice and making the right decision from henceforth.****

    • 37.1
      OMGNo Gravatar says:

      She leaves me totally gobsmacked! I posted this comment on another thread but I must again reiterate: why does she refer to the man who has held the office of the President of the United States for longer than she was an acting (the word used intentionally) governor as a ‘community organizer’?

      Why also does she discount that fact that he was the head of the Harvard Law Review, a practicing attorney, a Constitutional Law Professor, a State legislator, a US Senator and the author of two books (written by his own hand)? Of course, his credential pale in comparison to the mayor of a tiny Alaskan town don’t they?

      • 37.1.1
        OMGNo Gravatar says:

        I just noticed all my typos in the above post…please forgive me, the woman makes me crazy!

    • 37.2
      aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

      Oh honeys – it’s ok. Really – she makes herself look like an idiot. Don’t mind her – she is nothing but an empty talking head.

      She can rant and snark all she wants – and I cheer it on because all it does is make the President look even better by comparison. He doesn’t treat people the way she does – whether they be opponents or not – he treats them with respect.

      So let her spew her BS and call him a community organiser in that snarky voice of her – I laugh at her – she is nothing but a joke. A pathetic loser who is obsessed with the person who beat her at the last election.

      Keep it up Sarah – you’re looking fantastic right now!!

    • 37.3
      fromthediagonalNo Gravatar says:

      BuffGal… WTF? More incomprehensible word salad…

    • 37.4
      B in CoNo Gravatar says:

      Henceforth? She calls the President’s advisers “Chicago Thugs?” She said he mocked and chided others with experience during the campaign? 20% of our energy supply comes from Alaska?
      Please make it stop!!!!!

    • 37.5
      jojobo1No Gravatar says:

      Better than thre thugs from Alaska that are in the oil companies pockets .

    • 37.6
      MBakerNo Gravatar says:

      Reading what this idiot has to say just angers me because she is so full of BS. I don’t understand how her followers can be so stupid not to see her ignorance. This women has absolutely nothing positive to say, ever, and never gives any solutions. Someone in the national news media needs to start to calling her out on her BS and put her in her place. Obermann is good, but we need someone who has wide enough coverage that whatever they say, everyone hears. Fox also needs to be called out for their extreme bias.

  38. 38
    Baker's DozenNo Gravatar says:

    I posted this several days ago, but it was at the end of a thread, and it’s really too delicious to keep from you.
    Well, I hope people are still reading this open thread because I found this great pic of Naughty Monkeys! You have to have a look!

    http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/Photos-of-the-Day/2010/Photos-of-the-Day-06-08/(photo)/6

    • 38.1
      BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

      Oh you just know this photo shows exactly the way $P imagines herself.

      • 38.1.1
        DagianNo Gravatar says:

        Remember the second Addams Family movie? The character, Debbie, who kills her parents by burning down the house when she received the Malibu Barbie rather than the Ballerina Barbie? That’s $P!

        (Obviously I looked at photos 6 and 7.)

        • 38.1.1.1
          aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

          BIG PROPS for Addams Family II reference! And yes, I totally know which character you mean!!! Debbie “The Black Widow” Jelinski!!

          heheh

          I have to say though, those pumps are to DIE for. Plus, I rather like the ankle tattoo the model has going on. It’s pretty cool.

          Palin however – is neither cool or to die for……hahaha

          • 38.1.1.1.1
            DagianNo Gravatar says:

            I like the shoes too, but I would never wear them for more than 5 minutes.

            I mean, after 5 minutes they will have served their purpose. Ahem.

            I like tattoos, but not enough to subject myself to the pain, hauling in a dissecting scope to inspect the needles (if used more than once, or even for too long in a single session they split, or curl), I don’t want to have to ask questions about the components of the dyes (some are carcinogenic, some are made with ingredients that are teratogenic, sometimes the alcohol used to swab your skin INCREASES the absorption of ingredients that can hurt you, if they contain metal [red is known for this] and you have to undergo an MRI it hurts WORSE when it comes out). Not to mention aging, fading, sagging, stretching…

            In other words, I love temporary tattoos. Flax used to sell a temporary tattoo kit that was very nice. Startled the hell out of my husband. (Evil grin)

    • 38.2
      StarNo Gravatar says:

      Love it…bwahahahaa

    • 38.3
      the problem childNo Gravatar says:

      Don’t miss the photo no. 5, piggies in lipstick racing for something.

  39. 39
    Lacy LadyNo Gravatar says:

    As Ayssiegal 77 writes—-”-that somebody has to point out the truth about Palin.”

    Well—I received an e-mail today from the League of Conservation that says
    You’ve got to be kidding us. Sarah Palin doesn’t think BP is to blame for the ongoing oil catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico.

    No, she’s blaming groups like LCV, whom she’s calling “radical environmentalists” for fighting to protect our country’s wildlife reserves and coastal economies and working to transition away from dirty fossil fuels to a clean energy future. She’s serious.

    How more stupid can this woman get? Whew!!!!

    • 39.1
      fromthediagonalNo Gravatar says:

      Lacy Lady… the obvious answer to your query of how more stupid this woman can get is : ad infinitum!
      She is a tool, a puppet of some onseen puppeteers, henchmen, whatever we may call them, and their legions of mindless followers.
      I cannot laugh at her antics, because I fear her handlers. Look at history and know how those behind the curtain manipulate the actors.
      The gigantic science experiment that is the oil blow out in the Gulf may break this administration, because
      unfortunately, many voters will not look at the deregulation, the corruption of past decades and will vote entirely for the foxes of international corporations once again so guard the henhouse, to use an old metaphor.

    • 39.2

      So does this mean we don’t blame HER for her stupidity, but her parents? Or perhaps her grandparents? Same logic. She’s reaching because she’s a tool for big oil.

  40. 40
    OMGNo Gravatar says:

    I hope the author of this article is correct (and I think he might be):

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-ostroy/thank-you-sarah-palin_b_606560.html

    Palin is about as popular in California as an oil spill so her endorsement might swing voters toward Boxer (not one of my favs but she is the best choice in this election). I also find it humorous (and annoying) that Palin is given credit for Branstad’s win–he was leading by double digits the week before the election when Palin made her endorsement.

    Frankly, the woman has no real values and is mainly trying to back a winner to make herself appear important–sadly the media is giving her the opportunity to puff herself up.

    • 40.1
      LANo Gravatar says:

      Carly spent ALOT of money on ads here in California. Most of them very slanted. The other people running didn’t have much of a chance for those who vote the R ticket . She has already made a tacky mistake with her open mike comment.
      Boxer will come out swinging and all the HP dirt will be fodder for the next few months.
      People here are sick of Arnold running our budget into the ground. Where I live is very much a State town. State workers are angry and rightfully so along with all the rest of us.
      Carly will be toast when Boxer gets ahold of her.

      • 40.1.1
        B in CoNo Gravatar says:

        That open mike thing is getting big play on t.v. and intertubes. It just shows her for who she is, a catty little witch. Women are not going to go for that kind of attitude, men may not care but women do. Imagine spending millions and blowing it with a 5 minute conversation on a open mike.
        Didn’t Fiorina do something like recording others without their knowledge? Other board members of H.P.? If so, this is big time karma.

    • 40.2
      aussiegal77No Gravatar says:

      I think it’s good that Palin is getting the credit for Branstad’s win – the tea partiers were incensed at her endorsement so this is a good reminder to them whose side Palin is on. Plus – Palin fans were also furious with the Fiorina endorsement so I say – yes, let’s give HER all the credit =)

      Tea Party and Palinbots will realise soon enough whose side Palin is on (hint: not yours!) so why not have some fun while we’re at it?? =)

      • 40.2.1
        nswfmNo Gravatar says:

        What happened to my teabaggers have problems post? Did I get thrown into moderation?

    • 40.3
      physicsmomNo Gravatar says:

      I lived in Iowa during Branstad’s tenure as governor and he actually is a pretty decent guy. From what I’ve read recently, he’s tilting right to woo the teabaggers, but he’s basically a moderate Repub. We left IA before Chet Culver was Gov. (Vilsack was in then), so I don’t know much about him. My daughter says he’s alright, but kinda wishy-washy. If we had to lose a Dem. Governor position, we could do a lot worse than Terry B. What makes me crazy about this is that $P also supports him. Makes me want to kiss Chet Culver on the lips despite himself.

  41. 41
    ZyxommaNo Gravatar says:

    I picture a wishnik (everyone who was a kid in the 60s remembers those) with a bumpit.

  42. 42

    I have about three questions and a short comment. First of all I really like your blog and your writing style is kind of a cross between Donald Kaul and Molly Ivins, two of my favorites. For question #1, any chance someone can come up with a “mudroom cloud” and rid the world of menaces like repubs? Secondly, is it possible your hy-brid troll crawled back into a sewer instead of Seward? And lastly, is it possible to contribute to Mudflats without a credit card? Someday I hope to visit Alaska. Have the dust settled by then. Thanks.

    • 42.1
      the problem childNo Gravatar says:

      You can contribute by paypal. How you choose to load up your paypal account is probably up to you. I don’t think you need a credit card to do it, but it’s been a long time since I set mine up (for a mudflats cause, btw).

      And your comment is also a contribution ;)

  43. 43
    tallimatNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve a household of kids. … When they all come home. In reality, all but one can be considered ‘grown up’.

    Back when C4P started up, I caught my, nearly graduated from college, kids acting like a bunch of trolls on the C4P site.

    Darn kids, they were all home for a week and every night, late into the night, there they were, causing C4P followers and probably RAM, some troll moderation prevention.

    That is all I’ll admit too, when it comes to my opinionated kids.
    Except…. The sweetie taught each and everyone of them to think for themselves.
    And they do.

    • 43.1
      bubblesNo Gravatar says:

      bless ‘em. there’s nothing to gladden a parent’s heart more than to see a child grow into a thinking,caring adult. you done good Talli.

  44. 44
    flying pig ranchNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t think that good neighbor Joe is going to need to dig very hard to find enough crazy about Sarah to fill his book. Every time she opens her mouth or posts something she sticks the fork in her own eye. Bad eye hand coordination along with no mouth brain coordination.

    Just skimmed the RV interview with Hannity and about vomited. Sarah is sorta like having an eating disorder. I overdose on stuff that I shouldn’t be reading because I know it isn’t good for me or our country. That nasty stuff that Sarah is trying to feed us. Binge and Purge.

    You know that she knows all of the buzz on the blogs. The bigger boobies are the result of reading how she looked frail and flat and was wasting away. Guess she showed us and everybody else.

    • 44.1
      DagianNo Gravatar says:

      Well, I suspect they’re comprised of the fat from between her ears. But that MAY be due to a different bra style. Nevertheless! Black bra under a thin white shirt, rhinestone “enhanced” cap, shorts and flip flops at the BELMONT STAKES?

      I’m stating it again: tawdry tacky trashy–a Palin trifecta.

  45. 45
    IrishgirlNo Gravatar says:

    I just saw a clip of that interview where she talks about Chicago thugs. What the hell is she implying? The woman is seriously deranged. How can she believe she is even on a par with PO or more informed than him? Her words are the ravings of a lunatic.

    She is absolutely obsessed with the President and is basically stalking him.

    Losing hurts, doesn’t it Sarah? Grow up you silly woman. High school was a long time ago and people are supposed to mature (in more ways than one) as they age. You are the laughing stock of the world. You probably don’t care because you are getting rich. However, I wonder how your children feel now and how they will feel about you in years to come? You ain’t no Mamma Grizzly.

  46. 46
    IrishgirlNo Gravatar says:

    Forgot to say that I loved AKM’s post on the troll. :)

  47. 47
    OMGNo Gravatar says:

    The following “Palin” article was written by a Republican PR guy (do not be afraid…I think you’ll like it):

    http://blackstarnews.com/news/135/ARTICLE/6614/2010-06-10.html

    • 47.1
      CO almost nativeNo Gravatar says:

      Thanks- I did like it, especially the Doobie Brothers quote (now I’ll be humming that tune all afternoon ;-) )

      • 47.1.1
        bubblesNo Gravatar says:

        Hey CO… just had to post the Doobie Brothers’ lyrics quote so everybody can hum with you.hee hee.

        In the immortal words of the Doobie Brothers, “What a fool believes, no wise man has the power to reason away; what seems to be is always better than nothing at all.” ;-) )

    • 47.2
      IrishgirlNo Gravatar says:

      It was good.

    • 47.3
      flying pig ranchNo Gravatar says:

      OMG, this was a good read. If the people don’t want to elect career politicians, then they had better look at Sarah’s resume’. Other than one political appointment, her “career” has been in politics. Running for office, running from office, and running her mouth after leaving office. And now, the book tour, the tv commentary, the speaking gigs, she is still running for office.

    • 47.4
      leenie17No Gravatar says:

      “For all the talk about Palin, can someone explain to me why she has not contributed any money to these candidates? If she so believes in them, why is she not putting her money where her mouth is?”

      God question!!! Wasn’t that PAC supposedly set up specifically to allow her to donate money to her chosen candidates?

      Oh, silly me, I forgot that the only person she chooses to donate to is herself!

  48. 48
    MBakerNo Gravatar says:

    The worse thing Mr. Troll said in his post was to put you in the same catagory as Sarah. I’ll bet you thought that would ever happen. So how does it feel to be sharing the same catagory he put you in with sister Sarah. Make sure you take a long hot shower after you make your excape from that catagory, what ever it is he put you both in.

    Did someone actually have a sign that said “Homeskoolers for Palin!”? If that is true, I would love to have that made into a poster! Not only is it hilarious, it summerizes Palin’s supporters very well.

    • 48.1
      BuffaloGalNo Gravatar says:

      I can’t remember if it was specifically for Palin but there was certainly a “Homeskoolers for ‘someone’ ” at one of the crazy gatherings. There’s a fabulous montage of right wing rally signs out there in the interwebs. I believe the homeskooler sign is included. I’ll try to find it “and get back to ya “

  49. 49
    ElstunNo Gravatar says:

    I have troll-like characteristics…hmmmm
    http://metanoia2k.blogspot.com/

  50. 50
    DagianNo Gravatar says:

    Totally off-topic, but lookie here:

    http://www.horsephotos.com/watermark.jsp?photoID=116987

    I can’t get over the fact that the strumpet actually doesn’t seem the least bit unfazed by her stark contrast to their attire.

    Also:

    Has Sarah Palin learned nothing about fashion?

    Palin, who was taken to task over her pricey clothing while she was a vice presidential candidate, seems to not understand that there is a time to dress up and a time to dress down.

    This weekend she and husband Todd attended the Belmont Stakes — the third horse race in the Triple Crown series — in Elmont, NY, where they cheered on First Dude, a horse named for Todd’s nickname during the time Sarah was governor of Alaska. Though it’s not quite the Kentucky Derby, where attendees go all out, Stakes spectators traditionally get dressed up, complete with a hat.

    Palin clearly did not get the memo. She showed up in cropped cargo pants, a scoop-neck T-shirt, bedazzled sunglasses, and a trucker cap. (Todd wore a plaid shirt and jeans.)

    What’s worse, the Palins were the guests of Marylou Whitney, the reigning socialite in the horse-racing world. Whitney, to our knowledge, has rarely been seen without multiple strands of pearls, a lovely dress or suit, and a matching wide-brimmed hat. StyleList can’t even imagine what she thought of Palin’s getup.

    • 50.1
      CO almost nativeNo Gravatar says:

      That will be last time time Mizz Sarah will be a guest at the Belmont, unless it is to muck out the stalls. (I refrained from making snarky comments about her behavior and a horse posterior).

    • 50.2
      bubblesNo Gravatar says:

      i have been laughing my hind legs off every since that silly twit showed up at Belmont ‘looking like who did it and ran’ with a husband looking like he needs a good woman in his life.
      Mrs Whitney must have been embarrassed for them. you better believe if these two people had shown up like that and were not guests of the ever gracious Mrs. Whitney they would have been sneered at and they certainly would not have been admitted. i am still laughing at the two morons.

  51. 51
    CO almost nativeNo Gravatar says:

    “If somebody has opinions that are different than your own, what do you do? You call out the hounds, gather the masses and their pitchforks and start a commotion.”

    I loved this reference either to the Hunchback of Notre Dame, or Beauty and the Beast- could be either, as both are Disney films. However, the troll lost big-time points for his use of a comma after Ms- even freshmen boys know it should be a period. Tsk, tsk.

  52. 52
    B in CoNo Gravatar says:

    What do you guys think about publishing a book filled with Palin’s tweets, facebook quotes, speeches and “interviews.” We don’t make any comment, just pure Palin words of wisdom.
    I’ve seen books like that with priceless quotes from Bush and I think Palin’s would sell even better.
    We could travel the country in a bus-plane, flaunt and pass our children around like footballs and make millions!

    • 52.1
      DagianNo Gravatar says:

      Perfect reading in the bathroom!

      “The Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin”

      Yes?

    • 52.2
      merrycricketNo Gravatar says:

      Or we could make it a daily grammar devotional. One page/tweet per day. First is the original tweet, next, we correct the grammar. Just for giggles we could throw in a fact or two at. The bottom. So while you are in the bathroom, you will be learning.

      We could donate a few to the libraries of schools in Texas. If they ban them from the school, we could leave them in places where young people hang out. It would become an underground classic.

      • 52.2.1
        DagianNo Gravatar says:

        ” merrycricket says:
        Or we could make it a daily grammar devotional. One page/tweet per day. First is the original tweet, next, we correct the grammar.”

        I LOVE IT! I bet it would get more kids interested in grammar–it’s fun to correct someone else’s mistakes.

  53. 53
    bethNo Gravatar says:

    Quick question:

    When I read Ray Jay’s: “lolololololololol”, should I be reading it as “laugh out loud, out loud, out loud,…”, or should I be reading it as “laugh out, laugh out, laugh out,…” ?

    (The former reading, of course, would give it an echo effect. The latter would be more of a ‘direction’ thing — maybe more along the lines of “watch out, watch out!” or “move aside, move aside!” or something.)

    I’d sure hate to misinterpretate what Trollster Extraordinaire, Ray Jay, was getting at, by reading the “Airport Pizza thought”-provoking ‘shorthand’ incorrectly.

    Oh, the dilemma! — I’m just sooooo confused! beth.

  54. 54
    ZyxommaNo Gravatar says:

    ****Happy Dance**** Lease-A-Murkowski’s Dirty Air Amendment was defeated, 53-47!!!! At last, a tiny bit of good news.

  55. 55

    Speaking of Troll behavior, it appears that many of them might be associated with or part of the Teabaggers. And so, this website http://www.teafarty.com/ is a creation that I discovered on Wonkette today, that appropriately displays the tweets of the teabaggers. Spelling not altered.

    PS: must like and/or appreciate fart humor. Or, turn off your speakers. :P

  56. 56
    twain12No Gravatar says:

    some good news

    Murkowski Measure To Block EPA From Regulating Greenhouse Gases FAILS
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/10/murkowski-measure-to-bloc_n_608156.html#comments

  57. 57
    IrishgirlNo Gravatar says:

    Hahahahahahah.

  58. 58
    IrishgirlNo Gravatar says:

    That was instead of lolololololol.

  59. 59
    Nebraska NativeNo Gravatar says:

    OMG Scarah is going to bring ickiness to my state… Apparently Joe the Writer is causing her to cancel her satellite appearances for her motivational bs on the motivational bs tour and appear live instead. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. She will need a wig, we have the humidity thing goin’ on. And the heat, also, too. Go Nebraska.

  60. 60
    dwNo Gravatar says:

    Celebrating education GOP style.

    CSUS spends $75K for Sarah Palin speech, then cancels all student scholarships due to lack of funds.

    http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=%2F20100604%2FA_NEWS%2F6040332&emailAFriend=1

  61. 61
    ZyxommaNo Gravatar says:

    All of you who know me know how passionate I am in my opposition to mountaintop removal coal mining. Here’s a chance for you to take action (sorry, AKM, I copied the full email because I feel so strongly about it):

    Coal River Wind Project organizer Lorelei Scarbro met with EPA Administrators at the EPA Region 3 Office in Philadelphia on Tuesday to request that the EPA veto Massey Energy’s permits for valley fills on Coal River Mountain. Today, we’re asking you to join your voice with hers: call the EPA Region 3 Office and ask them to protect Coal River Mountain and the Coal River watershed’s communities – veto the valley fill permits on Coal River Mountain and across Appalachia.

    Contact Administrator Lapp:
    Jeffrey Lapp’s number: 215-814-2717
    Fax: 215-814-2783
    Email: lapp.jeffrey@epa.gov

    The Region 3 Office is important because it oversees permits for mountaintop removal (MTR) in Virginia and West Virginia, and has the potential to play a critical role in ending mountaintop removal! While we are heartened at the EPA’s recent moves to curtail the effects of mountaintop removal, our water, land, communities, and bodies, are still being poisoned each day by the coal industry and it is unacceptable for the EPA to allow this to continue.

    Six members of the organization Philly Against Coal joined Lorelei at the meeting – but they need to hear from more of us.

    Please contact administrator Jeffrey Lapp today with the below message.
    Jeffrey Lapp’s number: 215-814-2717
    Fax: 215-814-2783
    Email: lapp.jeffrey@epa.gov

    SAMPLE SCRIPT:
    “Hi my name is __________ and I’m calling from _______. I’m aware that a coalition of mountaintop removal activists met with you on Tuesday. I’m urging you to continue these conversations and increase transparency with impacted community members in EPA’s Region 3. I am eager for you to take a citizen-led flyover tour of the destruction rendered by mountaintop removal.

    Appalachians can’t afford any new permitted mountaintop removal mine sites. We need you to protect the waterways and communities you are entrusted with and deny all new permits, including Coal River Mountain.”

    Please call Jeffrey Lapp at 215-814-2717 TODAY and ask him to increase transparency with impacted communities, do a citizen-led flyover, protect Coal River Mountain, and deny all new valley fill permits!

    Help support Coal River Wind and donate if you can. Thank you!

    http://www.CoalRiverWind.org

    • 61.1
      ZyxommaNo Gravatar says:

      Here’s a copy of my email to Jeffrey Lapp. Feel free to use it as a template for your own:

      Dear Mr. Lapp:
      I stand in solidarity with Appalachian communities, and urge you to OPPOSE all further applications for mountaintop removal coal mining. With its combination of deforestation and the destruction of waterways, there is no place in our country’s energy future for such a diabolical practice. Refuse Massey’s applications (and any others you receive).
      Although I live in NYC, I am a lifelong hiker of the Appalachians, our continent’s oldest mountain chain. In the southern states, Appalachia is home to the most diverse ecosystem found anywhere outside a tropical rainforest.
      I am also aware that West Virginia, Virginia, Kentucky, and Tennessee are among the most economically depressed areas in the land. Don’t let Massey Energy and their ilk run roughshod over people just because they’re poor. They are rich in cultural heritage, and the Appalachians are far more valuable than the coal they contain.
      Thank you for considering my opinion, and I wish you and yours health and peace.
      Very truly yours,

  62. 62
    ZyxommaNo Gravatar says:

    Here’s your link to see how your Senators voted on Lease-A’s dirty air amendment, which was defeated:

    http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=111&session=2&vote=00184

    If they voted nay, thank them. If yea, scold them.

    Health and peace.

    • 62.1
      leenie17No Gravatar says:

      No suprise here…I can always count on Gillibrand and Schumer!

      Think I’ll toddle on over to their websites and give them a virtual high-five. Positive reinforcement and all that…

  63. 63
    Martha Unalaska Yard SignNo Gravatar says:

    AKM – you are just determined to make us clean our monitors on a regular basis whether we like it or not! Do you have stock in ACME monitor wipes?

    I have a feeling that this spiffy little Troll got the Depends name and TM right off a package in their own house, and that thought makes me chuckle even more!

  64. 64
    LA BrianNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve always wondered how some people who exhibit difficulty spelling English words can get out a foreign, dated and proper noun without any trouble whatsoever.