Sarah Palin – Twit of the Week!
Sarah Palin’s Twitter account has been rich fodder this week for those of us who enjoy that lazy summer pasttime of rolling our eyes at ex-half-governors who believe they have something to add to the national discourse via social media.
Her latest is a petulant, 9th grade, hand-on-hip screed directed at Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel. You can picture Sarah Palin and her inner circle of mean girl friends hanging out in front of her Twitter locker, and Sarah saying (just within earshot of Rahm Emmanuel whose locker is close by):
Uh oh… here comes Rahm Emmanuel, hands in his pockets, wearing an iPod and a baseball cap. He strides past Sarah and her henchgirls who crinkle their noses at him.
In my imaginary world he tweets back:
And then how about her Father’s Day tweet? Talking about all the fathers in her life, whom she goes out of her way to name specifically, complete with an exclamation point for each dad. Well… almost all of them.
And what about the father of her only grandchild? The one she kidnapped from sheep hunting and stuck in a suit so he could stand with her at the RNC? The one who has recently brought to a close Bristol’s abstinence tour and is now back together with her so they can raise little Tripp together? (crickets) Maybe he’ll tweet back at Mother’s Day.
And finally, Sarah (as the ex-governor of an oil and gas state) had some words of suggestion regarding the oil spill and what it will take to stop the hemorrhaging of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.
We don’t need to simply imagine what my response to this might have been like we did with Rahm and Levi. This one I actually sent.
Sarah Palin’s vapidity is on par with her monumental hubris.
its not the tweet, its the vapidity!
Excellent, sjk!
Bravo… this is the most clever comment I have ever read!
AKM, that was THE single funniest thing I think I have ever read on this site. Thank you for making my day! (And I’m glad I was in between taking sips of my coffee when I read that!).
Made my day also Thanks AKM loved it I have a twitter account and hopefully can use the same so thanks.
Agreed. Also, Too.
I can’t believe you posted that but — hoooooooeeeeee!
AKM, that was a masterpiece! Thanks for thinking of it, sending it, and posting it.
BRAVO! So funny and so true!
Thanks for the huge chuckle on a otherwise boring & dull day!!!
Bwaahaa! Mudflats, your response is priceless! Made me spew my tea.
Brilliant! Just the right amount of snark, overlaid with satire. She won’t get it, and have to farm out her answer.
AT 140 characters per, AKM “out(t)wits” Palin tweet for twit.
Ahhhh, “Tweets for the Twit” as sung to the Drifters tune “Sweets for My Sweet”, I imagine.
OK…this was wet my pants good. Thanks for the laughs.
didn’t wet my pants cause i was nekkid….AKM has done it again.i am laughing so hard i woke up the cat.
FANTASTIC!!
I think it’s really idiotic to pray for God for a solution AFTER we have completely cocked up the planet.
Maybe if Sarah & the Republicans understood the importance of responsible government regulations that are enforceable AND the importance of holding negligent oil companies ACTUALLY accountable – we wouldn’t be in this mess.
So come on, Palin – tell your mob is stop screaming “SOCIALISM” and “CHICAGO THUGS” randomly and join in actually serving this country, will you?
“Dear God, I just cheated on my husband so he is leaving me and I just stole a bunch of money from my company so I’m probably going to be fired. Could you please make my husband not leave me and get me my job back? Or get me an even better job? Thanks! Amen.”
*rolls eyes*
“Oh Lord, wontcha buy me a Mercedez Benz” – oops, leave out the Mercede.
If as some Repos claim the blow out is an act of God, what good does praying to God to stop doing what he/she is doing, which by definition is godly, do?
LOL priceless
Thanks for the giggle fit.
Ha! Thanks for the laugh!
again I say “SPIFOS” (sarah palin is full of silliness)
Best putdown evah. Don’t stop now AKM, you’re on a roll.
Thanks for actually sending that. I had some stronger words, like “God said FU, Sarah.” Get the message already, nit-twit.
For the bigillionith time, Sarah, God allowed the oil spill to happen, therefore it’s part of His plan.
Don’t blame the spill on humanity if you’re going to give your imaginary friend credit for the solution.
Excellent!!
ROFLMAO!!!!
Absolutely divine! Loved the spewing part.
I recall a tweet she posted before trashing a oath of office. It was about a year ago… when she tweetered about how rural Alaskans have 50% of their subsistence needs met. A total lie. Cause subsistence gathering of foods usually starts in June.
Thank GOD she quit. Her tweets are still stoooooopid and clueless.
AKM, that was brilliant! I can’t believe you really said that. Well, yes, actually I can. Perfect!
Well, the drilling ban has been lifted….how dumb was that???
Just because the other oil rigs have had no accidents yet, does not mean anything….should we not have inspected them first and then went to drilling?
Nice to know there are others out there who know better then our President/tongue in cheek statement.
Guess we need more oil in our waters for the sake of profits for the rich.
Bet SP is jumping for joy, GOD forbid another disaster happens, but if it does, who gets the blame that time?
Judge who overturned drilling moratorium reported owning stock in drilling companies.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20100622/ts_ynews/ynews_ts2771
how come i am not surprised…
“an Associated Press investigation found earlier this month that more than half the federal judges in the districts affected by the BP spill have financial ties to the oil and gas industry.”
Yet another good reason for the fund that was just set up by the President. If the people of the Gulf had to go before those judges for rulings on damages, they might as well not even bother showing up in court.
This will be appealed. I wouldn’t be surprised if it made it to the Supreme Court.
President Obama of course. We are dealing with Palinworld here.
I loved your response, totally cracked me up!
Kind of liked the Rahm man’s response too.
OOh, that tweet to R. Emmanuel is perfectly describing herself.
Am expecting her to tweet today about the newest on General McChrystal. Rick from CNN reports that even Glen Beck criticized the general’s staff remarks.
excellent AKM! You are brilliant and oh so funny.
Palin should be awfully glad that she wasn’t in Rahm’s presence when he replied to her tweet. I’ve heard he has quite a vocabulary of profanity and doesn’t mind using it. Palin had better step lightly where Rahm is concerned. She may be dabbling in politics and having “fun” when she smears people, but something tells me that Rahm wouldn’t find it funny at all.
She knows it’s safe to kick Rahm because he wouldn’t waste a millisecond on her
Now little Sarah wouldn’t be trying to engage Rahm would she? Does she want Rahm to say her name in the media so she can get some more publicity? She can’t get Obama to talk to her, about her, so now on to the next man.
If she can get Rahm to come out swearing, she will be high-fiving herself till she is black and blue.
i think he’s too busy working at a real job for the actual president of the united states of america to pay any attention. you know she can’t even get the president to return a phone call.
There’s a lovely little book that I own, by Henry Beard entitled “Latin for the Rest of Us”. It is chock-full of VERY ribald Latin phrases that would leave Sarah Palin and her army of ignoramuses spewing and sputtering for weeks until they could puzzle it out.
Wouldn’t take him more than 30 seconds to leave her slack-jawed and stupid. Maybe she’d toss her hair weave around and flounce off to scream at Todd to “make them stop picking on me!”
CLEAN UP ON AISLE 3!!!
Too funny!!!
Thanks, AKM! Loved your imaginary tweet at the end of the post.That’s going to keep me giggling all evening.
That was real!!!
Real & Retweeted! Most excellent, AKM.
Sarah needs to come take a swim at Grand Isle. She makes me think words I never use in polite company. Someone please tell her to butt outta our business. She doesnt give 2 figs about the environment, so why is she at all concerned about the gulf coast?
I can’t imagine what she and McLame would even have to say about this if they’d been elected.
Rahm and Levi were imaginary. Mine was real. (Don’t want to get Rahm in trouble…)
OK, I do. But not like that.
Did she tweet you back?
I wonder what response she’ll have to that?
I can only imagine the ugly, grimacing mouth shapes that she is making!
It’s too bad that there are only 140 characters for a full, meaningful message. If Sarah had more space in her tweet to Rahm Emanuel, it would continue to read, “And, Rahm, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and so do all the girls on the basketball team, and give back my transistor radio and LP records, and I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. And I hate your boss, BO, too, also, because he didn’t call me.
As for the Prayer Tweet, I do have a message for Sarah and her Prayer Warriors. Prayer should not be limited to one day. If you folks are truly deeply religious, I would suggest full, non-stop praying everyday. Pray for the 11 families who lost a loved ones in that explosion. Pray for the massive loss of animal life and the fragile environment in which they live. Pray for all of the people working in that toxic climate cleaning animals and trying to clean up the ocean and beaches. Don’t stop praying until it’s over.
… and pray to be forgiven for our blasphemous treatment of this Earth and its creatures, for we know not what we do.
unfortunately, we know Exactly what we do…and so did BP.
“Pray for the 11 families who lost a loved ones in that explosion.”
Thank you for that. Too may people are forgetting about the workers who lost their lives and their families. They should always be in our thoughts and prayers.
Yes, absolutely, pray for all those things. Then use your intelligence that God gave you to work out a sensible plan for dealing with oil. And roll up your sleeves and get busy helping to clean it all up.
Priceless, absolutely priceless. ROFL!!!!
Sorta OT…
So Alaskans, SP2 is putting out a 2 million contract notice to hire a oil and gas expert… Hummm, I find it rather interesting and full of juicy prospects …
Do you think $carah will apply? Does SP2 think she is qualified, as much as she thinks she is?
The Alaskan repubs would further implode… ~snicker~
$P1 will tell SP2 that Bill O’Reilly said she is the most qualified.
If only God tweeted, I’m sure he/she would have some choice words for Savior $arah… But I’m sure God has more important things to do than to respond to her incoherent ramblings.
He would have tweeted “STFU Sarah Heath Palin, or I might smite you”
zyggy – your comment has my sides splitting! “SMITE” – what a great word. I just drove down from San Francisco to L.A. today, and I really, really needed that laugh.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Priceless.
If a half-wit twit tweets today, can we assume the half-wit twit has twatted in the past?
I would consider that, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Sarah, u r 1 feking eedgit; need 2 c orthondontist about flapping gums. Now, nt 2mrw..
Hilarious!
Where to begin? First, Representative Barton is the top Republican on the House Energy and Commerce Committee. It was only after the political fire storm caused Boehner and Cantor to threaten Barton with loss of his committee spot that Barton said his remarks to BP were “misconstrued”. (By the way, TPM Muckraker and others are reporting that Barton’s number one career campaign contributor, Anadarko Petroleum, has 25% ownership in the well where the April 20 rig explosion occurred and is being billed for part of the cleanup. Oops.) Chief of Staff Emanuel and many, many others enthusiastically used Barton’s tone-deaf statement as an example of the Republicans’ tendency to be sympathetic to big business over consumers. Can you imagine what the Republicans would be saying if Obama, Reid or Pelosi had apologized to BP? Second, Palin’s message was not a spontaneous response to a press question, given under pressure of the moment. This was a message composed in the quiet of her own home with the benefit of all the time and advice she needed. “u lie.”
I believe Barton actually said his remarks were “misconstructed”! Sounds like he is channeling George Bush.
“And if anything I said this morning has been misconstrued to the opposite effect I want to apologize for that misconstrued misconstruction.”
Sarah’s writer must moonlight….
Oh, even better! How funny!
And they were misconstructed by Barton. But yes, that apology for the apology was worthy of dubya or Sarah. It was a tad hard to figure out just what he was saying – maybe because he didn’t really know how to back out of the deep hole he dug for himself.
the thing is, he was telling the truth. sorry no link, but there’s a republican group, rsc ? – 115 members, all lawmakers, and they released a statement saying essentially the same thing barton said. palin is the one who lies – ceaselessly it seems.
Sorry, had an extra n in orthodontist!!! That was so wasteful.
waste not, wa_t not
Actually, Ms. Ptwitterquitter, it’s not so much of a lie. You see, the Republican Study Committee, under the leadership of Representative Tom Price from Georgia, issued a press release on June 16 that disputed the President’s legal authority to require the escrow fund. It went on to decry the President’s actions as “Chicago-style shakedown politics.” The Republican Study Committee has over 100 members including Joe Barton, Michele Bachmann, and Eric Cantor. It appears that Joe has become the sacrificial lamb in blabbing it for all the world to hear.
Read the short announcement here:
http://rsc.tomprice.house.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=191125
If you’re curious, the entire membership list of the Republican Study Committee is here:
http://rsc.tomprice.house.gov/aboutrsc/memberlist.htm
nice Katz. thanx.
Perfect AKM!!!!
I love Rahm.
I am so sick of all the undeserved politeness afforded a group of people who value their political careers over the public good.
i love Ramn too. here is something about him…..i haz a krush.
Thank you AKM for that wonderful belly laugh and thank you for sending the best response to the quitter! I am in awe of your razor sharp wit.
Speaking of tweeting, if this isn’t a call to Sarah et al to lock up their thumbs for at least the next 24 hours, I don’t know what is:
John Kerry, 6/22/2010
“… but my impression is that all of us would be best served by just … backin’ off and … staying cool and calm and y’know, not sort of succumbing to the normal Washington twitter about this for the next 24 hours. We have troops on the front lines, we have a major mission that we are in the middle of, and I think the priorities of that mission are best served by letting the president and his top general have their conversation and make a determination as to how we proceed forward.”
http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/real-reason-mcchrystal-must-go
But of course, Sarah won’t see this ’cause it’s on the wrong news channel and even if it is played on the channel she watches while in the airport, she will have a knee-jerk reaction because that’s what she always does – spouts off without thinking.
How many times do I/we have to say this? People who spout off before thinking are NOT the kind of people who should be President of the United States!!!!!!!!!!!!
It would have been Obama’s Truman moment but apparently McCrystal has resigned or at least offered to.
I would hope Obama would have had the guts Truman had, to make a decision that he knew would cause a huge flash back, but made it anyway.
All I have to say is palin you lie and spin things your way but some people see thru you.
Excellent AKM!
yep you nailed it AKM…
Epic AWESOME, AKM!
OMG…your spewing and praying comment is priceless…guess that’s why i keep coming back…keep it up….lol
Any response to your tweet? Highly curious.
Ha! That made my day AKM! I really needed some humor after all the insanity in the news today.
AKM your response to $P is the first and only reason I’ve ever seen to get on or use a Twitter. Or whatever the F that social disease is called.
Amen, AKM! lol, also
That was genius! I haven’t had a belly laugh like that in ages –
THank you, AKM!
I imagine you’ll be hearing from some of the bots soon. Hey! More fodder for the Troll letter of the Week!
Forget “Twit of the Week.” Try “Twit for All Time.”
Lol! Palin…….A Twit’s Twit.
I think the prayer thingy is a referendum of St. Sarah’s open door policy from God.
That is, that God is her personal door man.
If she prays and her prayer warriors pray (that has to be one of the more offensive oxymoronos any one has dreamed up), and the tea baggers bag their hearts out and still the oil keeps flowing, she fails the truthyness test about her Christianity.
It’s kind of like dunking and witch burning and other such “tests” of witchyness, only a little less physical.
There for a few seconds I actually liked Rahm. He can quit now and go run for mayor.
If a Dutch dike can’t plugged the hole, it must be a job for the lord. How’s Drill baby, drill workin’ for ya?
Poor old Schreey Sarah can’t hold a candle to the intellect of AKM – and she wants to be president? Of what? Wasilla’s right wing nut jobs? Go Rahm. Go McGinniss. Go Levi. Go Mercede.
you rock..well said and all under the allowed character limit, point set match
Disgusted today – Orinn Hatch and his wonderful idea (that he says the people of Utah agree with) to drug test people who are applying for unemployment (WTF….why not put an in-house anklet on them too so you can tell if they’re out looking for a job!) Dumb-ass judge in NOLA overturning Obama’s moratorium, the oil is STILL spewing with no end in sight, wildlife dying. Let’s not forget Arizona and that other state and their antics against illegal immigrants. Jesus would NOT approve but evidently they don’t give a sh*t.
Why didn’t he ask for drug tests for the Bushies in the Minerals Management office? Have they even been fired yet?
Plus probably half the Congress can’t pass a sobriety test after about 7pm.
Agreed, and I can possibly suggest 11AM.
So its ok to be unemployed and drinking beer all day but if you had pot 2 weeks ago….also, too, doesn’t cocaine flush out in 24-48 hours?
Meth? How long for a drug test.
The poor are always expected to be better than everyone else, more responsible, cleaner yada yada..
And a day of prayer to stop the oil? Please…MANual intervention is required here!
Ummm, about that there ‘intervention’, 264 Crayons — Just make sure MANual isn’t an ill-eagle… you know how them ill-eagles try to blend in and take jobs from rill amurcans.
beth.
Oh, thank you, AKM, for that tweet to the twit!
that was good. amen.
Love it here.
Once I finished laughing –heartily!– at the tweets (and in particular the respondo-weet to $P from AKM!), I sent them and the link on to my youngest offspring – my youngest offspring who, coincidentally, had just forwarded me an email re: $P and her show on Discovery. I had *NO* idea youngest offspring held $P in such contempt, too – youngest offspring makes me proud. beth.
Here is the email youngest offspring forwarded me…
“““““““““““
Subject: Palin on Discovery? That’s obscene.
Dear [beth's youngest offspring],
The media conglomerate Discovery Communications used to be known for their earth-friendly offerings. But they’ve just paid millions to Sarah Palin to host a “nature” show, despite her decidedly anti-environmental stance: She vocally advocates for habitat-destroying oil drilling, she denies global warming is a human-caused threat, and she spearheaded a brutal wolf-slaughter program as governor of Alaska.
It’s one thing if Fox News gives Sarah Palin a platform. But when Discovery Communications — home to the Discovery Channel, the “Planet Earth” series, the Science Channel, Animal Planet, and TreeHugger.com — gives a show to Sarah Palin, it undercuts everything the Discovery brand has come to represent.
Anti-environmentalism has no place in the Discovery Communications lineup. Click here to automatically sign our petition demanding that the company cancel “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” before it airs. http://act.credoaction.com/r/?r=5444&id=9685-2999098-zzvXu.x&t=4
The former partial-term Alaska governor is getting paid $1.2 million per episode to host a television series called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” to be broadcast on TLC, one of Discovery Communications’ channels. And if Palin runs for president in 2012, a show that provides her the opportunity to greenwash her environmental record on a mainstream, eco-friendly channel is downright dangerous.
Here’s what Sarah Palin’s real Alaska is:
X She accelerated Alaska’s cruel aerial wolf-hunting program while in office, introducing a $150 bounty for each slaughtered wolf’s forelimb.
X She made a personal appeal to Alaska voters to oppose a ballot measure that would have stopped the immense Pebble Mine operation from dumping cyanide and mining waste into streams that make their way to Bristol Bay, home to the largest sockeye salmon fishery in the world.
X When President Bush finally agreed to list the polar bear as a threatened species in 2008 because of global warming’s effects on its habitat, the governor sued to challenge the listing.
X Armed with her “Drill, Baby, Drill” catchphrase, Palin called for opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and the Cook Inlet to oil and gas drilling.
With such a disastrous environmental track record, how could Sarah Palin get a nature show on an eco-conscious media platform like Discovery? The answer may lie in Discovery’s COO, Peter Liguori, who joined Discovery in December after a previous stint at Palin’s other TV home: Fox Broadcast Co.
We can’t let an anti-environment extremist like Sarah Palin take over Discovery and spread her “drill here, drill now” message on a science and environment network.
Speak out now and demand that Discovery pull Sarah Palin’s show before it airs. Click here to automatically sign our petition. http://act.credoaction.com/r/?r=5444&id=9685-2999098-zzvXu.x&t=5
Thank you for speaking out. Your pressure works!
Matt Lockshin, Campaign Manager
CREDO Action from Working Assets http://act.credoaction.com/r/?r=11&id=9685-2999098-zzvXu.x&t=6
CREDO on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/CREDO
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tell Discovery: Pull Sarah Palin’s anti-environment “nature” show now.
Keep Sarah Palin off Discovery
Your message to Discovery:
I am appalled that Discovery Communications — home of numerous eco-conscious offerings — has picked up “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” Sarah Palin’s anti-nature crusade as governor makes her extremely unsuitable to host a show in your lineup. I urge you to cancel the show before it airs.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
wonderful letter…. you must be bursting with pride.
If the opening pitures af S.P’s Alaska doesen’t show someone with unusually tall hair being escorted offstage in a straight jacket , I will be extremely dissapointed. (do they still make those things?)
LOL beth – I was playing the MANual vs. GODual card but it wasn’t as funny in print!
Oh, the the contrary, 264 Crayons, it was very funny in print — and in the reading! I knew immediately what you were saying/printing – ’twere MOST clever! (I couldn’t help myself with the silly reply, though – when I read it, I ‘heard’ a funny furrin’ soundin’ name in my head…hence the off-the-wall ‘ill-eagle’ riff.) beth.
And MANual working as a bus boy at the Casa Garcia is NOT the reason for the loss of jobs in America. Errr…Amurika I mean!
“Her latest is a petulant, 9th grade, hand-on-hip screed”…True, but should include an apology to 9th graders everywhere.
I’m so sad you felt it necessary to censor Rahm’s tweet. NOBODY should censor Rahm. He is only good for one thing, and that is tossing out the language that no one else in the administration can (maybe Joe is an exception). If only he was a real progressive, and not just a smartass.
Spouse and I belly laughed and spewed a bit of Merlot. AKM, you still rock our world.When we get a bit crazy with the way the country/world rolls, we look at our picture of me and you from p-burgh and spouse says, “you are there, and she has your back.” So glad Mudflats has become my obsession.
Love, love, LOVE your answer to Wind Between Her Ears! That has to be a classic to be remembered and savored for weeks to come.
“And what about the father of her only grandchild? The one she kidnapped from sheep hunting and stuck in a suit so he could stand with her at the RNC? The one who has recently brought to a close Bristol’s abstinence tour and is now back together with her so they can raise little Tripp together? (crickets) Maybe he’ll tweet back at Mother’s Day.”
Naw. GRANDPARENT’S DAY.
Spouse says next tweet should ask Saint Sarah “How’s that walkin’ on water thingy is working out for you?” Because if god is holding open the door, she should be able to just walk out there and fix the da*n run-away well all on her lonesome and be the hero of the day.
Oops! She forgot to mention Curtis Menard Jr in her little Father’s Day tribute.
Maybe Track and Piper sent a card to the grans.
i noticed that. maybe cause he is deceased.she don’t know that we know what we know.
Shallow, Narrowminded politically irresponsible. It doesn’t take Freud to figure out there is some transference going on here.
Mudflats – I love you!
EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT! STILL LAUGHING!
LOLOLOL……you win Queen of theTweets!
brilliance! even my dog is laughing.
I will be laughing all day at that one! Ohhh, you know it steamed her shorts. Lil’ Miss Bitchy Twit is going to have a fit over Huckabee and MF today. She has nothing better to do, and it’s what she does best. It’s actually the only thing she does well now that I think about it – she’s a Pro Hissy Fitter Maker.
How long before Palin throws Nikki (SC) under the bus? “They” are already talking about her in terms of VP candidate material in 2012.
Ouch…..Palin won’t like competition from another woman for the National spotlight and “they” must not be thinking Palin will be the GOP nominee if “they” are talking about Nikki in the #2 spot. The GOP won’t put two woman on the ticket.
Oh…so sorry.
Wanna bet that Palin will throw a hissy hit and start a fight with Nikki in 3-2-1…..
I am still laughing at the tweets!
Can the powers-that-be maybe give IrishGirl her green snowflake back? Don’t mean to butt in, and she does look mahvelous in purple, but … the green was so perfect!
Also, too – I’ve read that Nikki can put together very good, cogent, intelligent sentences. What’s she doing palin’ around with $ister $arah? I agree, and would make a bet, that $arah gets very jealous about Nikki’s newly-crowned prominence. I’ll bet SP’s junior high mean-girl comes lashing out any day now.
Thank you AK, you are priceless!
These comments are priceless!!! So are the comments on $arah’s disasterous interview with Bill-O last week. I just read them tonight and LMAO. I invite all of you [hope I am not breaking some rule here] to come to the Going Rogue discussion thread on Amazon. There is a small cadre of us taking on the remaining Palinbots left. You would be a great addition to “The Cell.” [Long story]. Hope to see you there!!!
Feel free to join in on the Washington Post site too. JakeD is one of her most visible supporters.
AKM, you are a goddess.
That’s all there is to it.