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Friday, January 28, 2022

Speed Hump Day – Hump of the Week!

~Speed hump at 13th and F St…. You’re our ‘Speed Hump of the Week!’

Wednesday.  It’s not just “Hump Day” any more.  Now it’s Speed Hump Day. We here in Anchorage have been a bit preoccupied with speed humps lately.  Why?

You might think it’s because they help keep people safe in residential areas when people drive too fast near homes, pets, and children.  You might think it’s because we’ve got a lot of money that the state has set aside so that Anchorage can have speed humps in areas they are needed.

Unfortunately the reason we’ve all got speed humps on the brain is because of none other than Mayor Dan Sullivan.  Let me first say that I appreciate all the comments and emails I get about our mayor that come not only from Anchorage, but farther flung areas of the state, and across the nation.  If your small town or city is missing a token bad guy, you’re more than welcome to follow the antics of ours.  He never disappoints.

So here’s the speedy version of the speed hump story.  Buckle up!

In May a 6-year old girl was hit by a car that was speeding through a residential area.  This was not a good thing, and it got people wondering why there was no speed hump there.  After all, the community council asked for the speed hump, the legislature funded it. We have more than enough money. So what gives?

(scary organ chord)

Mayor Dan Sullivan happened.

Turns out he abolished the “traffic calming” program last July. That’s right, no traffic calming.

Even though each speed hump only costs $3325., and even though there is $700,000 allocated from the state for 2009 and 2010.  And even though a little girl was nearly killed, and $550,000 is allocated JUST in her area of town, the Mayor says “no dice” and no speed humps.

After citizen outrage and calls to the mayor’s office, a proposal was offered.  The mayor’s office said that all of the money was going to be used for traffic calming measures in one place, and that it would NOT include speed humps, and that it would all be used on Paterson Street between Northern Lights and Tudor.

One tiny problem.

That’s not in the district that the funds were allocated for.  Oops.

Dozens of speed humps have been requested (even before the little girl was injured),all are paid for, and none will happen until the Mayor says OK.

If you’d like to register your opinion on this topic please feel free to call the Mayor today, and any other time the mood strikes.

343-7100

Thanks to Mudflatter PW for the photo!  Drive safe!

Do you have a favorite Speed Hump?  Send a picture to akmuckraker@yahoo.com and it could be our Speed Hump of the Week!

And remember boys & girls, wherever your favorite Speed Hump is, it wasn’t brought to you by this guy.

~Mayor Dan Sullivan

Comments

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Comments
No Responses to “Speed Hump Day – Hump of the Week!”
  1. fleshyfruits says:

    That Patterson money *could* be used on Patterson and on 20th which are *north* of Northern Lights, along Chester Valley Elementary, which *is* used as a fast cut-through by rude idiots trying to cut off the Debarr/Muldoon intersection.

    That north part of Patterson is a much more residential road than the south part… lots of driveways and kids… and the south part already has plenty of width, sidewalks, and very few driveways – everything the north part doesn’t. *And* the north part is in the district the money was allotted for.

    In fact, we all submitted comments on a big traffic calming plan for this street years ago.

    Hell I’d be happy if they just put in a stop sign at Patterson and 20th where cars sail around the left turn and cut off little kids on their bikes.

  2. fleshyfruits says:

    That Patterson money *could* be used on Patterson and on 20th which are *north* of Northern Lights, along Chester Valley Elementary, which *is* used as a fast cut-through by rude idiots trying to cut off the Debarr/Muldoon intersection.

    That north part of Patterson is a much more residential road than the south part… lots of driveways and kids… and the south part already has plenty of width, sidewalks, and very few driveways – everything the north part doesn’t. *And* the north part is in the district the money was allotted for.

    In fact, we all submitted comments on a big traffic calming plan for this street years ago.

    Hell I’d be happy if they just put in a stop sign at Patterson and 20th where cars sail around the left turn and cut off little kids on their bikes.

  3. strangelet says:

    I don’t think we have speed humps in Cali. just bumps. Of course, in most of the urban areas, there are not a lot of snowplows, either. I understand that emergency responders don’t like them much, but by the time you encounter one (they’re in residential areas), you are only a few seconds away from your destination, anyhow. It doesn’t really accomplish much extra to arrive in a tire screeching rush.

    Occasionally, the traffic calmers can get a little carried away. Near where I used to live in San Jose, there was a residential street that wacko commuters used as a speedway to bypass a stretch of the congested expressway they were supposed to be suffering on. I’d like to be clear that the wacko commuters were doing 60 or more on what was nothing more than a residential street that happened to have useful endpoints. After considerable neighborhood complaining, the city responded by putting a stop sign at every intersection, and two mondo speed bumps between each pair of stop signs.

    After considerable more neighborhood complaining (since the neighborhood folks HAD to drive on the street to get in and out of the neighborhood), the city pulled a couple of the stop signs and most, but not all, of the bumps. By the time I left town, there was very little dangerous speeding (the SJPD would watch a stop sign during commute hours once a month or so), and the impact on the neighborhood, or occasional visitors like myself, was minimal.

    What is the point of this anecdote? I quite like speed bumps (or humps, I guess), when they are appropriately deployed. Inappropriate deployment is, e.g., when they appear every 30 feet in a mall parking lot (anyone who will speed though a parking lot will not be deterred by speedbumps). And, if you have a reasonably responsive municipal administration, it won’t take long to dial in the correct amount of speedbumpery to discourage rampant speeding without severe inconvenience to the locals.

    Or, shorter, Sullivan is a doofus.

  4. strangelet says:

    I don’t think we have speed humps in Cali. just bumps. Of course, in most of the urban areas, there are not a lot of snowplows, either. I understand that emergency responders don’t like them much, but by the time you encounter one (they’re in residential areas), you are only a few seconds away from your destination, anyhow. It doesn’t really accomplish much extra to arrive in a tire screeching rush.

    Occasionally, the traffic calmers can get a little carried away. Near where I used to live in San Jose, there was a residential street that wacko commuters used as a speedway to bypass a stretch of the congested expressway they were supposed to be suffering on. I’d like to be clear that the wacko commuters were doing 60 or more on what was nothing more than a residential street that happened to have useful endpoints. After considerable neighborhood complaining, the city responded by putting a stop sign at every intersection, and two mondo speed bumps between each pair of stop signs.

    After considerable more neighborhood complaining (since the neighborhood folks HAD to drive on the street to get in and out of the neighborhood), the city pulled a couple of the stop signs and most, but not all, of the bumps. By the time I left town, there was very little dangerous speeding (the SJPD would watch a stop sign during commute hours once a month or so), and the impact on the neighborhood, or occasional visitors like myself, was minimal.

    What is the point of this anecdote? I quite like speed bumps (or humps, I guess), when they are appropriately deployed. Inappropriate deployment is, e.g., when they appear every 30 feet in a mall parking lot (anyone who will speed though a parking lot will not be deterred by speedbumps). And, if you have a reasonably responsive municipal administration, it won’t take long to dial in the correct amount of speedbumpery to discourage rampant speeding without severe inconvenience to the locals.

    Or, shorter, Sullivan is a doofus.

  5. physicsmom says:

    That guy is a b00b!

  6. physicsmom says:

    That guy is a b00b!

  7. womanwithsardinecan says:

    That would be selective, not slelective.

  8. womanwithsardinecan says:

    That would be selective, not slelective.

  9. womanwithsardinecan says:

    Oh, and after spending a couple of hours at a transportation committee meeting, I found out that each hump costs our town $4000.

  10. womanwithsardinecan says:

    Oh, and after spending a couple of hours at a transportation committee meeting, I found out that each hump costs our town $4000.

  11. womanwithsardinecan says:

    In my town we have bumps, humps, and tables. The firepeople hate the bumps but tolerate the humps and tables. The best way to slow traffic is with a few humps and some bulb-outs. Bulb-outs are slelective narrowing of the street. Wide streets encourage speeding, so if you insert a couple of bulb-outs, and throw in a couple of humps, all but the a$$hats will slow down. I live on a busy residential street that has humps, no bumps, and needs bulb-outs to slow down the slingshots off the roundabouts. Say that fast 5 times.

  12. womanwithsardinecan says:

    In my town we have bumps, humps, and tables. The firepeople hate the bumps but tolerate the humps and tables. The best way to slow traffic is with a few humps and some bulb-outs. Bulb-outs are slelective narrowing of the street. Wide streets encourage speeding, so if you insert a couple of bulb-outs, and throw in a couple of humps, all but the a$$hats will slow down. I live on a busy residential street that has humps, no bumps, and needs bulb-outs to slow down the slingshots off the roundabouts. Say that fast 5 times.

  13. fishingmamma says:

    Sullivan’s picture is appropriately creepy!

  14. fishingmamma says:

    Sullivan’s picture is appropriately creepy!

  15. benlomond2 says:

    …If the legislature ( state??) allocated the funds for a specfic purpose, that’s what it has to be spent for , …. if he spends it else where, can he be charged wtih an ethics violation or even fraud ?? or would the City be charged by the state for misuse of funds ?? hhmmm, maybe the State should do an indepeendent audit of the city’s bookkeeping ???

    • fishingmamma says:

      When the legislature appropriates funds, they must be used for that purpose only or “lapsed” and returned to the state. Any change of use at any level has to be re-approved by the legislature through the Revised Program (RP) process. This is approved either by OMB (Governor’s Office of Management and Budget) or by the Legislative Budget & Audit committee (LB&A). LB&A is made up of legislators and meet several times a year to address these things.

      A Common example of an RP would be diversion of uneeded funds from a forest fire fighting appropriation (in a fireless year) to a reforestation project.

      The Mayor cannot take the funds for speed humps and use them to pay the party planner. When funds are made available to the city, the city must do the work, then bill the state with appropriate documentation showing that the funds were spent on work that is within the scope of the legislation.

      The State also has Legislative Audit, an entire division of accountants that work for the legislature and are tasked with making sure the funds are used as appropriated.

      • benlomond2 says:

        CCCOOOOOOOOOLLL!! OMG !! Can you imagine Dan having to RETURN money ?????

    • fishingmamma says:

      OH! I forgot to mention. Since this is probably a capital appropriation, it will be available to the Muni for 5 years. So, our new mayor will have time to correct this hideous mistake.

  16. benlomond2 says:

    …If the legislature ( state??) allocated the funds for a specfic purpose, that’s what it has to be spent for , …. if he spends it else where, can he be charged wtih an ethics violation or even fraud ?? or would the City be charged by the state for misuse of funds ?? hhmmm, maybe the State should do an indepeendent audit of the city’s bookkeeping ???

    • fishingmamma says:

      When the legislature appropriates funds, they must be used for that purpose only or “lapsed” and returned to the state. Any change of use at any level has to be re-approved by the legislature through the Revised Program (RP) process. This is approved either by OMB (Governor’s Office of Management and Budget) or by the Legislative Budget & Audit committee (LB&A). LB&A is made up of legislators and meet several times a year to address these things.

      A Common example of an RP would be diversion of uneeded funds from a forest fire fighting appropriation (in a fireless year) to a reforestation project.

      The Mayor cannot take the funds for speed humps and use them to pay the party planner. When funds are made available to the city, the city must do the work, then bill the state with appropriate documentation showing that the funds were spent on work that is within the scope of the legislation.

      The State also has Legislative Audit, an entire division of accountants that work for the legislature and are tasked with making sure the funds are used as appropriated.

      • benlomond2 says:

        CCCOOOOOOOOOLLL!! OMG !! Can you imagine Dan having to RETURN money ?????

    • fishingmamma says:

      OH! I forgot to mention. Since this is probably a capital appropriation, it will be available to the Muni for 5 years. So, our new mayor will have time to correct this hideous mistake.

  17. the problem child says:

    Speed humps rock. So do intersection islands, especially if they are planted with lovely islands in the summer. I will try to send you pictures of some.

    • the problem child says:

      That would be lovely *flowers*…

    • benlomond2 says:

      I like the flower beds they have on Lombard Street in San Francisco…the one that’s famous for being the curviest street in America………the flowers beds are where the tourists have crashed and died trying to go down the street……. 🙂

  18. the problem child says:

    Speed humps rock. So do intersection islands, especially if they are planted with lovely islands in the summer. I will try to send you pictures of some.

    • the problem child says:

      That would be lovely *flowers*…

    • benlomond2 says:

      I like the flower beds they have on Lombard Street in San Francisco…the one that’s famous for being the curviest street in America………the flowers beds are where the tourists have crashed and died trying to go down the street……. 🙂

  19. lexcade says:

    he just looks like a tool.

  20. lexcade says:

    he just looks like a tool.

  21. Turk401 says:

    I have driven over some of these speed humps out here in MadZoo. At 25MPH, will get your attention and make the dog’s ears bounce. At 35 MPH, could jar your spectacles a bit, make the dog’s ears flap, and cause the coffee mug in the on-board holder to slosh. Any faster than that — keep your tongue away from your teeth, prepare to clean up a big coffee spill, and the dog will never ride with you again, ever!
    I tested these humps when driving a Subaru Legacy, also a Subaru Justy, and observed some pretty interesting reactions when pickup trucks (the rill Alaska veehickle) took the humps +/- 35MPH.

  22. Turk401 says:

    I have driven over some of these speed humps out here in MadZoo. At 25MPH, will get your attention and make the dog’s ears bounce. At 35 MPH, could jar your spectacles a bit, make the dog’s ears flap, and cause the coffee mug in the on-board holder to slosh. Any faster than that — keep your tongue away from your teeth, prepare to clean up a big coffee spill, and the dog will never ride with you again, ever!
    I tested these humps when driving a Subaru Legacy, also a Subaru Justy, and observed some pretty interesting reactions when pickup trucks (the rill Alaska veehickle) took the humps +/- 35MPH.

  23. leenie17 says:

    Speed bumps ALWAYS remind me of college!

    During my last 2 years of college, I belonged to a group that worked with the admissions office, giving tours to prospective students. We had a number of speed bumps on campus and a story had been told for years that always got the attention of the poor, gullible, incoming freshman.

    The original campus was land that had been donated to the town by a wealthy widow with the instructions to use if for a purpose that would benefit the community. The town decided to build a college. Animal lover that she was, the woman who donated it specified in her will that any and all stray cats would be allowed to live on the property and not be disturbed or removed. She even left money in her will for the care of the cats that she was leaving behind. Needless to say, there were always dozens of cats roaming around the campus.

    When the tours started getting a little boring, we would tell the prospective students all about Kate’s cats (awwww). Then, just when they were feeling all warm and fuzzy, we would tell them that the cats who died were buried in the speed bumps so that they could be part of the campus forever. I suspect they went a little more slowly and gingerly over the bumps when they drove around campus after that!

  24. leenie17 says:

    Speed bumps ALWAYS remind me of college!

    During my last 2 years of college, I belonged to a group that worked with the admissions office, giving tours to prospective students. We had a number of speed bumps on campus and a story had been told for years that always got the attention of the poor, gullible, incoming freshman.

    The original campus was land that had been donated to the town by a wealthy widow with the instructions to use if for a purpose that would benefit the community. The town decided to build a college. Animal lover that she was, the woman who donated it specified in her will that any and all stray cats would be allowed to live on the property and not be disturbed or removed. She even left money in her will for the care of the cats that she was leaving behind. Needless to say, there were always dozens of cats roaming around the campus.

    When the tours started getting a little boring, we would tell the prospective students all about Kate’s cats (awwww). Then, just when they were feeling all warm and fuzzy, we would tell them that the cats who died were buried in the speed bumps so that they could be part of the campus forever. I suspect they went a little more slowly and gingerly over the bumps when they drove around campus after that!

  25. akglow says:

    I had a friend who was out to dinner last month and saw Mr. Mayor having dinner with his “Events Coordinator”. They may have been discussing “humps”, but I bet it wasn’t speed humps.

  26. akglow says:

    I had a friend who was out to dinner last month and saw Mr. Mayor having dinner with his “Events Coordinator”. They may have been discussing “humps”, but I bet it wasn’t speed humps.

  27. Carolyn says:

    What an asshat. How stupid is this man? Traffic calming tools save lives. Any person, regardless of politics, should be able to see the merit in this.

    • ValleyIndependent says:

      Traffic calming measures can also have an impact on crime, since they make it more difficult to execute a speedy get away.

  28. Carolyn says:

    What an asshat. How stupid is this man? Traffic calming tools save lives. Any person, regardless of politics, should be able to see the merit in this.

    • ValleyIndependent says:

      Traffic calming measures can also have an impact on crime, since they make it more difficult to execute a speedy get away.

  29. Albert Lewis says:

    Speed hump? Isn’t that what leads to disappointment? Wouldn’t ‘speed bump’ or ‘sleeping policeman’ be better way of describing something that slows traffic?

    • barbara says:

      i call them speed bumps, but i’m from CA – ? to the point of the story, why is he such a d1ck?

      • AKMuckraker says:

        They call them speed humps, even on the sign. My understanding is that a speed bump is a more dramatic bump than the hump which is designed so that snow plows can go over it more smoothly.

        • ValleyIndependent says:

          Exactly correct, AKM. Note also that speed humps, being less dramatic than speed bumps, are also appreciated by our emergency services personnel, particularly ambulance drivers.

  30. Albert Lewis says:

    Speed hump? Isn’t that what leads to disappointment? Wouldn’t ‘speed bump’ or ‘sleeping policeman’ be better way of describing something that slows traffic?

    • barbara says:

      i call them speed bumps, but i’m from CA – ? to the point of the story, why is he such a d1ck?

      • AKMuckraker says:

        They call them speed humps, even on the sign. My understanding is that a speed bump is a more dramatic bump than the hump which is designed so that snow plows can go over it more smoothly.

        • ValleyIndependent says:

          Exactly correct, AKM. Note also that speed humps, being less dramatic than speed bumps, are also appreciated by our emergency services personnel, particularly ambulance drivers.

  31. beth says:

    “Do it baby!” Do it, Sully…do the Humpty Dance! [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byIkY9qsTdU ]

    Go Sul-ly…Go, Sul-ly.., Go… beth.

  32. beth says:

    “Do it baby!” Do it, Sully…do the Humpty Dance! [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byIkY9qsTdU ]

    Go Sul-ly…Go, Sul-ly.., Go… beth.