Sarah Palin Brings Cookies – The Sequel
Streeeeetch….. streeetch your minds back, Mudflatters. It’s February of 2009, and Sarah Palin wings her way to the remote village of Russian Mission to address the problems of the food/fuel crisis that was causing rural residents to have to choose between heating their homes and feeding their families. Palin’s solution? No, not a state of emergency, silly. That would be a government public sector-type solution. The private sector provided her with evangelical preacher Franklin Graham, a cushy private jet, some boxes of food with a sprinkling of religious literature, and a plate of Sarah’s homemade cookies. Really. She brought cookies. Cookies that she baked herself.
Perhaps she was going for the personal touch. Perhaps she was trying to solve the problems of the world with some home baked goodness. Perhaps it was a Marie Antoinette “Let them eat cake” moment. And perhaps we will never know.
At least we got that awesome graphic from flyinureye to commemorate the moment.
But now it’s November of 2010, and Palin is at it again. Once more, cookies will be brought to the scene of a disaster, defending the most vulnerable among us from the gubmint. It seems… (and I know you’ll all be shocked to hear this)… that public schools in Pennsylvania are trying to tell our children what they can and cannot eat. They actually have the nerve to be thinking about implementing nutrition programs that promote things like… “nutrition.”
Pennsylvania’s proposed school nutrition guidelines would limit the number of sweets in classroom parties and encourage parents to serve more healthy snacks. The proposal, which will be voted on this spring, would also slash the number of birthday and holiday parties allowed in classrooms.
How. Dare. They.
Do you realize that this latest government conspiracy is actually trying to tell you that you can’t allow your children to get jacked up on refined sugar and then sit with 35 other jacked up kids in a classroom with a teacher that’s supposed to pound some sense into their little glucose-addled noggins?
And the long arm of the public school system has the ex-half governor so incensed that she tweeted the following:
Hmm…may bring cookies to my PA school speech tmrw to make a pt ‘PA mulls ban on cake/cookies/candy@ school parties’
And that wasn’t enough. In her incessant plodding march on the journey to become a caricature of herself, she followed it up with this one:
2 PA school speech; I’ll intro kids 2 beauty of laissez-faire via serving them cookies amidst school cookie ban debate; Nanny state run amok!
Well, if Palin were the nanny, we know exactly what we could expect when we got home. She’d be doing exactly what the parents had said not to do, and our little cherubs would be jumping up and down on the couch with ice cream cones, surrounded by candy wrappers. Who do we think we are, anyway – telling kids what to do? They might think they have to pay attention to rules when they get older.
In the meantime, she’s going to bring cookies just to be defiant. Perhaps a Palin plan is coming, and we can expect soda machines with Jolt and Redbull. Or one of those Super-Perk coffee dispensers? I mean, hey. What else are you going to use to wash down the Pixie Sticks and cotton candy?
I mean if we’re going to celebrate the “beauty of laissez faire,” why not just go for it? After all, laissez-faire parenting has certainly proven to be effective in the Palin household.