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October 30, 2014

Voices from the Flats – Dear Sarah, You're Not Alaska.

By Zach Roberts

Special note: This is a message to Sarah, that I sent to her via Facebook. Alaskans will get all the places, some of the references and some of the names. If you don’t get them, give it a Google, or read TheMudFlats.net (why aren’t you reading it already? What’re you a member of the Paliban?)

Or better yet, get your butt on the next flight up to Anchorage. Yes I know it’s November and it’s cold… that means flights should be cheap. Go to Spenard Roadhouse get the Bacon Jam and tell them I sent you.

 ***************

Recently in one of much commented on Facebook notes you quoted Italian “race car great” Mario Andretti as saying, “If everything’s under control then you’re going too slow.”

Well personally I always liked this quote from the great American race car driver Richard Petty… “No one wants to quit when he’s losing and no one wants to quit when he’s winning.”

I think that might be the more appropriate quote for you, and by that I mean, I wish you’d quit (again).

 

Sarah the Celeb

 But that’s beside the point. I just wanted to tell you, I’m sorry I missed your show. I’m sure that it will be great. But I’m busy working on my own little travelogue about Alaska. It’s called The Rogue Candidate: A State in Denial.

It used to have the subtitle “Sarah Palin’s REAL Alaska but I changed it because I’m starting to believe that like some creature in a horror film – you gain power by people mentioning your name. So I’ve decided to take you out of it.

I’m finding that it’s turning out to be a much more interesting story. Instead I’m talking about the story of the Alaskan people, people that have not only survived in harsh conditions but strived in them. Alaska is many things beautiful, extreme, complicated… But I’m sorry to say Sarah, Alaska is not you. 

Chuitna

I looked quite a bit but I didn’t find you there. I did find some great people though. No one quite like you with the bumpet and the red suit jacket thing that you wore so often during the campaign.

You weren’t in Anchorage where I stayed with Shannyn Moore and Kelly Walters, or looking down on the mudflats with Jeanne Devon. The people in Anchorage didn’t seem to care for you much. I asked a young man at a gay pride march what he thought of you, he said “I’d [expletive deleted] cut her.” He then stared at me for a long while, he was serious. Don’t worry, he scared me too.

I flew over the Chuitna – didn’t see you there when I was talking to the Burnetts whose home was threaten by a coal mine. Funny thing too, they’re hunters just like you. I really expected to find you in those cool boots that you wore in Homer when you had that chat with a teacher maybe you’d be wearing a brand new pair of Carhartts that your show’s wardrobe picked up for you.

I even went to Whittier – through that long terrifying one way tunnel. Mike Bender of Lazy Otter took Shannyn, Jeanne and I out to see Prince William Sound. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life, and I know I never will. The porpoises swam with our boat… I still can’t express that moment in proper words. It made me want to become a fisherman, like you are. I’d probably go the dip net route though.

 Shannyn looking out over Prince William Sound

 My friend Shannyn used to fish out there. She doesn’t anymore because Exxon spilled some oil. I’m not a praying man but I tried, hoping that we wouldn’t still find any 21 years later. It’s still there. I’ve got some of it, I can show it to you if you like.

I saw a bear, not a mama grizzly though. It was running along side of my car on Old Seward Highway… or maybe it was Rabbit Creek. Not sure but I remember the dog in the back seat, it’s hackles up and then seeing this brown blur to the right. That was interesting. Driving back to the place I was staying I went past a lynx and had to stop for a moose. That was interesting too. Didn’t even leave the city limits.

I was there for three months and I only saw you once… other than all the times you were on the TV, talking about how NYC (where I live) shouldn’t let some nice people build a community center. You called it a 9/11 mosque for some reason, not sure why since it has nothing to do with September 11th.

I even met the guy that has your old job, Mayor of Wasilla, Verne Rupright. He’s really turning Wasilla’s downtown into a happening place. I hope he beats your grandkids dad in the election next time around. 

 The moment wherein I shake Sarah Palin’s Hand

We did eventually meet, however briefly.

I shook your hand at the Wasilla 9/11 Remembrance Rally – I might have stood out as I was the only person from New York City there. Your candidate Joe Miller was there, at the “non-partisan” event, along with the local Republican Party and the Tea Party folks… and a right to life group for some reason. 

When we met I didn’t ask you any questions or try to bother you as I believe it would have been disrespectful to the event. I’m not that kind of journalist. I even kept a watchful eye on one of your kids while you signed autographs during the closing prayer. Later, I had to ask which one of them it was, as I didn’t know… I don’t care about your family. Again, I’m not that kind of journalist.

I do care though, about the effect that you’re having on a state that I’ve grown to love and call my second home. I consider some Alaskans members of my family, many more among my friends. And I’m sorry Sarah, I hate to be the one to break it to you… but Alaskans, are well… um… ashamed of you. When Alaskans used to go down to visit the lower 48 they used to get asked if they lived in an igloo (my little sister is still convinced), if they ever saw a polar bear, or what it was like to always have snow on the ground. Now everyone asks if they know Sarah Palin. They want the igloo questions back. A couple of them confide in me that they told people they were from Canada! Socialists! They’re embarrassed, because they know Alaska isn’t you.

Joe Miller

 It’s made up of conservatives, anarchists, separatists, Democrats, Republicans, liberals and even progressives. In the Senate election 65% of the people voted against Joe Miller. They voted against your candidate, even though he was the Republican, he was better financed and he had a great beard.* 

Scott McAdams

This was a red flag, a sign from the electorate that they want you gone, they want you to step aside.

It’s time for you to step aside and let some of the great leaders you have shine. You’re not a leader, you’re a celebrity, a politician at best. Actually Shannyn Moore said it best, you’re not a leader, you’re a climber. If you really care for this state go back to Wasilla, take down that fence and retire. You’ve got a great view from your place enjoy it and let this state thrive. Let Alaska be Alaska. Let it return to it’s progressive roots, the only state that has a right to privacy written into it’s constitution, one of the first to become pro-choice and let’s people smoke weed. Even you admitted to partake.

Let these guys have a chance at running the state, without your meddling. Scott McAdams is the best person I have ever known that has stood for public office. It would have been not only an honor to vote for him, but something I would have told my grandkids about. Hollis French ran the best and most true campaign I’ve seen. I had the privilege of following him around and photographing him on primary day – a great candidate and one of the guys that does the job for the people, and only for them.

 

Harry Crawford (left) and Hollis French (2nd from right)

Harry Crawford ran a hell of a campaign against entrenched Congressman Don Young. Harry’s an old-school union guy – reminds me of DFA’s Jim Dean – but tougher (you’ve got to be tougher in Alaska). Vince Beltrami, real union. Alaska’s a union state, and a big reason is Vince.

So I’ll be returning soon to Alaska to meet with old friends, hopefully make it to Sitka to hang with Scott McAdams maybe up to Dillingham to see the Pebble Mine first hand and while I’m up there grab some salmon at Jon Corbett’s Windmill Grill.

But it won’t be because of your show. It’ll be because I love the state, even if it is in denial.

*Actually it was a terrible beard. Steve Heimel of APRN has a great beard, and so does Roger “Bones” Ranch.

 

Roger Ranch
Please checkout TheRogueCandidate.com in the coming weeks for details about the release of The Rogue Candidate: A State in Denial.

 

Comments

comments

Comments
165 Responses to “Voices from the Flats – Dear Sarah, You're Not Alaska.”
  1. Man_from_Unk says:

    Great article and yes, “Sarah Palin is not Alaska”! The smart people in the Lower 48 figured that out a long time ago.

  2. Terry says:

    Very nice. You brought back some wonderful memories I had of Alaska from a visit a few years back. Wish I could have stayed more that the two weeks I had. I’ve seen several TV shows in the past few years that show us Alaska, but the being there and meeting the people who live there goes so far beyond anything I could have imagined. I look forward to returning someday.

    Thankfully, my prior visit came before some small town Mayor and short term Governor hit the media. I like to keep that earlier vision of Alaska in my mind.

  3. michigander says:

    Well said, and I hope that the state of Alaska progresses in spite of her garbage.
    I believe that Palin is a bane on the entire country, world and has a negative influence on all life, from children on up to just short of God.

    Somebody has to say whoa. Alaskans didn’t win the whoa, Honestly, I don’t think you knew what you were doing to the rest of the country. And some didn’t care just to be shed of her.

    America kowtowed to the Republicans/Teaparty -??? My whole County voted Republican. My state is sunk.

    She has the potential to destroy our future. Crud that she is, don’t underestimate, that is how we got Bush )o:

    She can’t take away from nor take credit for the beauty of Alaska though she tries through her TV show. Oh wah, I will hush now. I am just so mad. I am fighting a losing battle.

    Miss you all – sorry to blurt – thank you Zach for writing this.

  4. Tom in Montana says:

    Zach: “…the only state that has a right to privacy written into it’s constitution,”

    Not to pick nits, but Montana has a right to privacy clause in it’s constitution too.

  5. Blooper says:

    Great opinion piece, Mr. Roberts! I can only hope that more Americans will start seeing Alaska for what it really is (a big, beautiful, albeit cold state with kind, warm, caring people) and not for being a Palin clan incubator. I know a lot of Wasillans who have also ‘refudiated’ the anointed one. I know this is going to be a tough couple of moths as Sarah and TLC tag team to sully Alaska’s image in her name, but it is my hope that Alaska’s image and reputation will some day recover. :)

  6. overthemoon says:

    considering SP’s facebook is highly censored and screened, I hope that Zach sends a hard copy to SP by snail mail.

  7. Judi says:

    Great Read Zach!!!! Cant wait until the movie comes out…you hit it on the head!

    I also sent tlc an email telling them I would refuse to watch. If they really had an interest in showing off this wonderful magical state…they should choose someone who loves it…not a quitter who just uses it for her own gain.

  8. marlys says:

    Thank You Zach

  9. B In Wasilla says:

    I wanted to live in Alaska for years so I finally moved up here, this was before SP became governor. Many of my relatives wanted to know what I thought of her when she ran for vp I told them straight out,even then , that she was nightmare waiting to happen. I told them how she screwed Wasilla and now they know I was telling the truth since she quit her post and thank me profusely for setting them straight. Barbara Bush said this week ” she wished SP would return to Alaska and stay here, Barbara we don’t want her back. It was a damned shame that it was Ted Stevens that died in the plane crash. Thanks Zach for some real beautiful words about my adopted state.

  10. Murfyn says:

    not only survived in harsh conditions but strived in them.
    You mean “thrived.”

  11. TNbluedot says:

    Stopping by The Mudflats is always a joy, but this is outta the ballpark!

    Just wow! The original post is fabulous… thank you, Zach Roberts!

    As if that’s not enough, these comments are FULL of treasures. Thanks everyone, especially SouthPaw, MUYS and Baker’s Dozen. Took me forever to work my way through it all! Got a lump in my throat and goose bumps at the Philly link and had to tear myself away from the Rogues Kennel link (but I’m going back!).

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

  12. Southernmuse says:

    I agree–Sarah is not Alaska.Excellent point. And she’s not the lower 48 either. I’m not sure if she realizes Hawaii is a state. I furthermore think it’s important to remember she does not get to define who is American,she does not get to define who is patriotic, and she does not get to define who is a person of faith.

  13. bubbles says:

    it was nice meeting you Zach. we have to convince Jon and Stephen to throw us another Rally in two years.

  14. Bretta says:

    Wow – looking forward to publication. Did $owah Payme answer you?

  15. n djinn says:

    That was a good read.

  16. Winski says:

    Thank you Zach… The words you put to paper in this piece come from someone that loves what he writes about, says what he means and never ignores truth. You remind me a lot of Shannyn AND Muddy too…

    But your words also remind me of my sister who is an accomplished musician and scholar who has talked, planned and dreamed and finally given up the dream of living in Alaska.. She has wanted to move her family up there for at least the last 30 years and probably will continue to dream, silently, until the day she passes from our midst… Although she is a STAUNCH supporter and admires Palin based on a marketing brand, in one brilliant flash of clarity a couple of years ago decided that Palin was the reason she and her family would NEVER move to Alaska….

    It’s because of the Madison Avenue spin that managers and publicists and campaign advisers, and lawyers and all the hangers-on have created and buried the real Palin in a mound of junk… All you see now is an automaton that’s no more real than the lights on a conjured up billboard on any highway between Nome and Tallahassee… The one flaw in this script is simple. It happens to spin doctors and badly trained wannabee politicians all over the world… You believe your own BS. THEN – YOU’RE DONE… Because ANYONE can come along and speak one iota of truth and you crumble like a box of saltines.

    This is why my sister gave up her lifelong dream of living in a place that can’t be tamed …. and never should be… But NOT Palin’s Alaska…. that’s from the desk of some second level flunky on a marketing assignment in the advertising section of Manhattan.. It’s all fake…It’s all plastic…It’s all spin and slight of hand… It’s ALL Palin – PHONY.

    • Zach says:

      We can take Alaska back. Say it to yourself, YES WE CAN. Now say it to everyone you know.

    • Blooper says:

      If she hasn’t, your Sister and her family should come here to visit… and even come and see Wasilla. I think she’ll find Alaska is not a bastion of all things Palin. As a matter of fact you’d be hard pressed (in my opinion) to even come across a Palin supporter. Sure you can find them if you look hard enough, but way more people here denounce and ridicule her than support her.

      No, Alaska is not the land of Palin as much as she and TLC/the MSM would like you to believe. Sure, there may be a few small Palin strongholds here and there in southcentral Alaska/the Valley, but if you go pretty much anywhere else in this vast, vast state it would be highly unlikely that you would ever run across a Palin. Her brand is national now, even though she (falsely) clutches Alaska close to her heart to bolster her image as a fake macho woman.

      So tell your sister to not give up on coming to Alaska, to live her dream. Don’t let Palin win.

  17. sierraseven says:

    ” … signed autographs during the closing prayer … ”

    A flawlessly succinct portrait of Mrs Palin.

  18. overthemoon says:

    the Axis of Ego. That’s about all we need to know.

  19. daisydem says:

    This article is so great. Thanks for sharing this with us. I hope he continues to visit and have a relationship with AK and with the people he has met there. I envy him that.

  20. Baker's Dozen says:

    Here’s Ray Charles singing about something he loves and never saw. As opposed to Sarah who seems to see but doesn’t love;
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghz4_kikLkE Blessed are your eyes, Mr. Charles, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.

    My apologies for what follows the original, but it just popped into my head–for good or ill. For those of you who don’t know the whole original song:
    From Wikipedia:
    America the Beautiful
    “America the Beautiful” is an American patriotic song. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates and the music composed by church organist and choirmaster Samuel A. Ward.

    O beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of grain,
    For purple mountain majesties
    Above the fruited plain!
    America! America!
    God shed His grace on thee,
    And crown thy good with brotherhood
    From sea to shining sea!
    2.
    O beautiful for pilgrim feet
    Whose stern impassion’d stress
    A thoroughfare for freedom beat
    Across the wilderness.
    America! America!
    God mend thine ev’ry flaw,
    Confirm thy soul in self-control,
    Thy liberty in law.
    3.
    O beautiful for heroes prov’d
    In liberating strife,
    Who more than self their country loved,
    And mercy more than life.
    America! America!
    May God thy gold refine
    Till all success be nobleness,
    And ev’ry gain divine.
    4.
    O beautiful for patriot dream
    That sees beyond the years
    Thine alabaster cities gleam
    Undimmed by human tears.
    America! America!
    God shed His grace on thee,
    And crown thy good with brotherhood
    From sea to shining sea.

    Sarah’s Alaska

    Oh beautiful for spaced out eyes
    For unused brains a-drain
    For purple push-up majesties
    Above the fruitful gain
    Alaska! Alaska!
    God shed His grace on me,
    And crown my mood with divisitude
    From Arctic to Bering Sea.

    O beautiful for oil boom feet
    All lust for gain possessed
    A thoroughfare for latinum beat
    Across Alaska’s best
    Alaska! Alaska!
    Thank God I have no flaw!
    Confirm my soul’s out of control,
    My whim is Thy law.

    O beautiful ethics probes prov’d
    In half term gov-ing strife,
    Who less than self Alaska loved,
    And your gold more than life
    Alaska! Alaska!
    May God make your riches mine
    Till all success, my millionaire-ness
    And every state office mine.

    O beautiful for patriot dream
    Who sees Alaska free
    From government waste
    Except in my case
    My entitlements I hold dear!
    Alaska! Alaska!
    Support me without a thought
    And I’ll represent you,
    Well, maybe one or two,
    Your votes were dearly bought!

    • bubbles says:

      Thank you Baker’sdozen. Mr.Charles knew how to deliver the goods on a song. this one must be my favorite. i love to sing along.

  21. Trigmund Freud says:

    With all due respect to Shannyn, weren’t those infamous words–You’re not a leader, you’re a climber! –actually uttered by Homer resident, and all-around coolest women ever, Kathleen Gustafson?

    • marlys says:

      yep, yep.
      It sure bares repeating often, on radio, camara, huge signs…..to be able to say it to her face, that is really something.

  22. I only hope that Scott runs again. I received a great thank you from him and I’ll tell you he is a first class man. Politics will catch up with all of you hard working people and the day will come when that woman is only a memory (bad one) but a passing one.

  23. Califpat says:

    jojobo: As soon as she can get her ghostwriter to post the attack!!

    • Hope says:

      Didn’t see anything about Barbara Bush. However, she hijacks way too many Reagen quotes. I have to wonder if she is carrying cliff notes on he became the President.

  24. jojobo1 says:

    How long before she comes out and attacks Barbara Bush?????

    • nswfm says:

      I think she would be eviscerated if she tried it. Barbara is married to a former President and gave birth to one, so it’s like not suing PG for what it has on it’s site. Prove me wrong, though Grifter Granny. That’s something I’d buy popcorn to watch.

    • sierraseven says:

      Oh, the Palinbots are already attacking Mrs. Bush. The usual “elitist” stuff, plus some really nasty remarks about Mrs. Bush’s appearance. Classy – as usual for the Palinists.

      • Hope says:

        Should I jump on there and say (grow up)? Don’t they cut out any bad comments or those that challenge their Queen? I have noticed the glowing reviews on her FB page. Kind of like watching a scary movie where one person hides and the other laughs. I would be the one hiding under the covers.

    • Bretta says:

      I hope she does try to react to the BB comments – huge mistake if she does. That and the fact that she totally dissed the Republican Women in California right after she quit here as WGE.

      Republican women don’t take that kind of action lightly.

  25. Zach, great article. I wonder, will the quitter queen really read it? Does she read anthing or does she just say that she does. It never seems to me that anything she says she has read actually was understood by her.

    Thanks, AKM, for posting this. It’s about time people started calling Sarah out on all the rhetoric about Alaska and politics, in general.

  26. Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

    Let me put it this way…

    If the sane, kind, smart, compassionate, global-minded, down home nice, and interesting stay home from visiting Alaska – thanks a lot! Fine! Leave us with the whack nuts that come to visit the mecca of Twit Supreme Stupidity! Help facilitate exactly what she wants – the illusion that Alaska and its visitors love her.

    On the other hand, if you have a real desire to come here and meet us – you will find something entirely different than you expected. For instance, I did have an igloo but I sent it to my niece in Maine because it was too small for me. Ooops, that’s an inside joke, but it’s true! I’ve done lots of other cool stuff and so have my friends and neighbors – way cooler than what the Twit does unless she’s trying something out for more new money.

    You will love us, you will love our state even if you wouldn’t want to live here. You won’t regret your trip, you will probably feel as though it was one of the coolest things you’ve ever done. Put it on your list of “25 things to do before I die”.

    When you go home, you have the benefit of experience to counteract Palin-hype and intelligently discuss why you oppose Sarah Palin and how she has only tried to hijack the ignorance of what Alaska truly is for her benefit alone. Why do you think people ask Alaskan’s what they think of Sarah Palin when we travel? These aren’t the flying monkeys. These are people with questions mostly, they want to hear the voice of experience. Now, you are that voice. Your impact is greater. Plus you had the trip of a lifetime (if we did our job right!).

    • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

      The apostrophe abuse just inserted itself – not my fault!

    • leenie17 says:

      Last week I was working at my desk in school, listening to a small group of third graders working with our resource teacher on the other side of the room. They were reading a story about glaciers. The next day I brought in an album of one of my Alaska trips and showed the kids pictures of the Hubbard glacier calving huge chunks of ice. I also showed them pictures of a grizzly bear that meandered across the road right in front of our bus in Denali (which was stopped on the road, of course!) since the previous book had been about bears.

      The kids had lots of great questions and it made their stories so much more alive for them. Having that personal connection made the information in the stories far more memorable. I was a little concerned that I was taking up too much of the teacher’s limited time, but she asked me to talk to two other groups that came down later that morning, so I guess I did okay!

    • slipstream says:

      MUYS: citation for apostrophe abuse, $10.

  27. OtterQueen says:

    “Lazy Otter!?!?!” I’ve got to go there…

  28. Lacy Lady says:

    typing too fast—sorry about the spelling on the last post!

  29. Lacy Lady says:

    Do you think she will read it?????? Truly an eye-opener. She had best call back the Witch Doctor.
    We all need to start writeing letters to all the News stations to quite giving her free air time. Sick and tired of seeing/hearing her . People like Wolf Blitzer nead a kick in the ass.

  30. grammar fairy says:

    “Recently in one of much commented on Facebook notes you…”

    How about, “Recently, in one of your much-commented upon Facebook notes, you…”

    or “Recently, in one much-commented upon Facebook note, you…”

    Better still “In a recent, oft-commented Facebook note, you…”

    xoxo.

  31. Seagull Junker Palin says:

    This is #1 Voices from the Flats for moi!

  32. OMG says:

    Do not underestimate her because anything in the US is possible, or something like that from the UK:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8149054/President-Palin-Dont-dare-dismiss-it.html

    • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

      They don’t get it. Outside US thinks we’re weird because we elected a black president, then erupted into a screaming fight over everything thanks to the new vehicles of out loud dissent (Internet, media starved for drama, etc). We don’t have any more weirdos percentage wide than before – the ilk of the Twit – they are just louder and nastier and keep forgetting to use spell check.

      C’mon media – get your act together everywhere.

    • Hope says:

      Good one OMG! Why cant we underestimate her? Probably because John McCain and his cronies did not have the decency to tell people that she was a total goof ball! Now we have to see her on every dance, reality, news show all the time unless we watch snow. Donald Trump should have met her first and let her help run the Miss Universe pageant. Oh how I wish for a miracle in the next two years. Like individuals realizing that we have some problems to solve- instead of bumper stickers to sell.

  33. The QM says:

    Great read, loved it and so true. I have family in Alaska, 2 nieces in Fairbanks and a daughter in Palmer, which is just outside the door of Wasilla. I’ve been hearing about the QUITTER for quite a long time. She is nothing more than a narcissitic, money grubbing, celebrity seeking blip on the screen of life. I love Alaska and all that it offers and highly resent that the TLC program is titled Sarah Palins Alaska. Did she buy the state, I thought Alaska belonged to the United States and to the people who live there. She should go back to Sandpoint, ID and hide somewhere so we don’t have to see, hear, or read about her anymore. BTW from the beginning, her voice made my jaws ache and still does. Seeing Alaska first hand, which I have many times, is quite a thrill and I don’t need the half-gov to show it to me. NGC has done many great programs about Alaska, and have done a far better job than TLC. Let me add since I dearly love bears, comparing her to a grizzly/brown bear is an insult to the bears.

  34. Irishgirl says:

    Hey Zach,

    I loved this post. I was in DC and saw you at the meetup later (and asked someone who you were). I’m so sorry I didn’t get a chance to chat with you. However, I will say that for the first time in my life, I did get to converse with a few Alaskans. It was fabulous. I met I See Villages (I want to say more…but I do not want to give her identity away) and I met Scout (hugs). I met AKM, which was wonderful.

    Having met all of these wonderful people…I would certainly consider visiting Alaska.

    Now I just need to win the lotto!

  35. ChicagoMom says:

    Dear Sarah,

    You’re not the lower 48 either. If you do end up running for president, I look forward to proving this to you.

  36. Desa Jacobsson says:

    God: ” Sarah, I created Obama in My image too. You must love your neighbor as you love Me. ”

    Palin: ” Screw that! I’m going rogue! He’s not a rill American too also. ”

    Beelzebub: ” Your bus is waiting, Mrs. Palin. ”

    Beelzebub’s Assistant: ” Gee, Boss, it didn’t take much for this one to be lost. ”

    Beelzebub: ” Who’s next? ”

    Beelzebub’s Assistant: ” Her kids. “

      • Desa Jacobsson says:

        Beelzebub’s Assistant: ” Gee, Boss. It’s a good thing Palin doesn’t read. Otherwise she would have been on to your tricking her about being queen. ”

        Beelzebub: ” Yeah, Nefarious, it WAS a good trick, if I do say so Myself. ”

        Beelzebub’s Assistant: ” Palin didn’t know what queen you were referring to. (chuckle!) THAT queen was one of your better operatives too! Look at all the damage she caused. Palin sure fell for it. And for only a cool million, a bus..(laughter!)…..and a book. What’s that queen’s name? ”

        Beelzebub: ” Jezebel. “

    • Make sure there’s room on the bus for Todd – wouldn’t want him left behind. ;-)

      • Desa Jacobsson says:

        Pat, Washington state, google Jezebel. Her husband’s name was Ahab. He was weak, so Jezzy ruled in his stead……and did rotten things in the Name of God. Ahab was a wimp. Sounds familiar, dont’ it therefore too again then again also.

  37. Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

    When I travel and folks ask about Sarah Palin, I often say “Sarah who?”

    As those of you know who have visited here, lived here previously, or have friends and family here – Sarah is nothing but the antithesis of Alaskans. She’s both the butt, and the boil. Anyone staying away from the state because of her really needs to get a clue, and while they’re at it, they need to pull their power back that they have handed over to her. There’s far too much of that going on.

    You won’t run into her – she’s never here and she doesn’t travel in the state much. Her little compound is her only haven within a populated area – all the rest of it she ignores or fears unless she has her human shields along, or a film crew shield along.

    Speaking of film crews, one of the gals trying to recruit a local wildlife expert this summer got an earful of guffaws and “Sarah Palin would be the last person on earth who would get any assistance from me!”. After the TLC recruiter fully realized that this avenue was a door so closed that even an earthquake wasn’t going to shake it open, she asked the seasoned expert “Why?” A long conversation ensued – and suffice it to say, there weren’t any compliments paid to the Twit Supreme by either party. The recruiter said she’d surprisingly encountered this feeling about the Twit across the state – surprising to her because she was under the impression that Alaskans loved her, before actually getting here and finding quite the opposite.

    Don’t insult real Alaska by not visiting here if that was in your plans. We know that you won’t ask where the Twit is, and we’ll go into our hospitality mode and give you great stories, ideas for things to do and see, and throw in some local lore which is why people visit here. We might invite you for a hike, a fishing trip or just a drive to see some wildflowers, critters or Alaska cotton grass. Our dogs will want to jump up and lick you – hope you don’t mind a little dog fur and slobber!

    • bubbles says:

      i love dog slobber and fur. a vacation in Alaska would be a dream come true. i often try to decide which season i would love the best. would it be early spring spring with tiny,shy, flowers and moss; tinkling brooks and roaring rivers? or perhaps late summer/early fall. the weather turning cool and darkness coming earlier. trees turning color perhaps? not sure if there are our stunning maples of the east coast living there. i would like very much to see a moose. there are so many things to see in OUR beautiful Alaska. so many friends to meet and make up there in our northernmost state.
      Sarah Palin’s agenda in doing this TLC travesty is, among many other things, a call to her kind of folks to “come on up and stay awhile. we got lots of room up here and plenty of ways to get rich by exploiting all that oil and gold and stuff.”

      • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

        Start in Juneau, with mudpup sisters. Then go see the gang in Anchorage. Be sure to include Homer by talking someone in Anchorage to taking the Peninsula drive (gorgeous). Maybe I’ll join you in Anchorage and rent a car for us – it’s so past time for me to go visit an a favorite aunt living on the peninsula. She would have you in stitches. Then we can go the other way and visit the other favorite aunt who would have you in more stitches, maybe worse ones. By then – you would be an honorary Alaskan and you would get everything! Especially how not Alaskan the Twit is!

      • slipstream says:

        Bubbles: that’s “merciless rivers.”

    • jojobo1 says:

      That like the Holloway case from Aruba where people blamed the Place instead of the people or person responsible for the supposed murder of the Holloway young lady..I say supposedly because he has not been charged as of now.That would be like saying don’t visit the US because we have so many serial Killers running around or because our judicial system sometimes sucks and works for the haves while not working for the middle class or the have nots.

    • All I Saw says:

      Thanks for saying this so I didn’t have to. This is dog country.

    • ibwilliamsi says:

      “Both the butt and the boil.” I love it.

  38. just sayin' says:

    I was greatly saddened for Sarah when she accepted the vice presidential candidacy, that she was not aware of the kind of peace and place she was giving up to glorify her ego…. and the with the further sell-out that has ensured…saddened turns to maddend…..and that she revels in the controversy…someone wake me up and tell me that she is not already POTUS, as she seems to infer. IT’s truly getting scarey the way the media is shoving her and the family in our faces…shows how ‘idiotcracy’ bent is our nation…

    • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

      Sad is a temporary state, and she was fully aware that her narcissistic ambition was going to trump everything else. This person has no desire for inner peace. That’s how it works – confidence is not confidence, it is lack of empathy and understanding. I don’t know why people keep attributing healthy emotions to the Twit (shame, embarrassment, empathy, curiosity, compassion…the list goes on) and wondering why she doesn’t respond to them.

      She’s not OK – she’s sick, twisted and selfish. On top of that, she subscribes to the idea of power of religious dominionism. Not because she really has a religion, but because it serves as her convenient vehicle to hard wired ambition for power and influence. Once you accept the Twit is not ever going to be curious, compassionate, sensible, embarrassed, able to feel guilt or remorse – then much of her power is gone. What remains is to work against her by working FOR something or someone you care about.

      • bubbles says:

        well said.

      • ks sunflower says:

        I agree with bubbles, well said.

      • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

        Recently, I felt like I was getting negative and didn’t want to just spend my time thinking “against” someone. So I worked for the McAdams campaign, and found niches to do what only I had the time to do. It was fun, it was a positive and funny campaign, and I came away sad that Scott did not win, but grateful that working for him uplifted my spirits. Pick and choose your battles carefully and try to choose more fors than againsts. I got a call from Scott personally thanking me as a super volunteer! That was way cool.

        • jojobo1 says:

          I know I received a thank you for contributing to the campaign the first thank you aside from generic e-mail ones.I though it was great for him or his people to take the time.I Hope he can run again in some capacity even if it is. for the state instead of the federal Gov.

        • You can tell a lot about the character of a person who remembers to offer gratitude -especially after losing… Next time- Scott will win, I predict…!

        • marlys says:

          I got a thank you in the mail, too. I wasn’t surprised because I noted during my time phone banking at his campaign HQs, that everyone involved were very smart, hard working & thoughtful.
          I am very happy that this letter hints that we will be able to vote McAdams again.

      • Women Who Run With The Wolves says:

        Martha, just get on with it girl..for the love of a duck, you are a total wordsmith and you would seriously do us all justice. Write a book re: Scarah Palin…how Alaska wants her to be gone! The rise and fall of a “tide”….low tide that is. :-} We are already working on new marketing merch. it will be good. I, too am tired of people assuming that all Alaska is about Scarah Palin…NOT!

  39. E of Anc P says:

    Yes, thank you for your thoughts. We are all ready to enjoy our wonderful State and hope Pebble and Chuitna Coal Mine will be stopped. Such a travesty to even think either would be allowed in such pristine areas. All of the U.S. enjoys the wild Alaskan salmon. I encourage all of you to write your Congressional Representatives to write to stop these projects. We have been told the Chuitna is now under the Alaska Army Corp of Engineers, and personally wrote our letters to them and the Dept. of Natural Resources to protect our fish, wildlife habitat, and Beluga whales. Not just the Chuitna river system will be affected but all of the fish streams.in this area..the tide goes in and out. Our current Governor wants to let the Pebble go through the “permitting process.” , or at least that was his comment during one of the debates. The company all ready has been fined for one of it’s exploratory permits in improper use of water….what good is the permit process going to do. We have to stop it.

  40. WakeUpAmerica says:

    Even as she supports raping the land and sea of Alaska, she lives off the beauty of the state, making beaucoup bucks with her faux reality show. What a piece of work.

  41. Lee H says:

    I wonder how long the message on $arah’s FB will stay up?? (Wonder but can’t look.)
    I recently was in Denver for a class–12 people including me. Of the 7 who brought up $arah with me, all had negative or very negative views; all thought it was a shame that people down below only think of the grifter family + Alaska, instead of the natural beauty and wildlife (which $arah wants to kill off one way or another). They all “got it” to some degree. And it was amazing to hear all the details they knew about her!

    • Hope says:

      Lee,
      As a person that was not really into politics (working all the time). She was like stubbing my big toe really hard.

      Have you ever walked into a really heavy door and your toe got a painful blast? They type where you cry and want to scream out a choice badword. That about captures it!

      There is a great population in Colorado that is hispanic. While they might lean Republican in some regards, many are Democratic. She has not done wonders for the hispanic vote for Republican party. Some can share social and or religious belief with her (even hunting etc. and all the stuff that she tries to pass on as her God given skills) but her rude remarks are a total turn off. (History of Colorado???) She simply says things that most people would not say out loud (or say at all). Everyone is aware of her because she is on all the time and everywhere.

      I am still waiting for a Republican to stand up to her and to tell her to put a muzzle on it.

  42. CityKid says:

    Good on you Zach! Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you when you were here. As a former New Yorker (30 years) I’ll give you fair warning that Alaska can be an addiction of sorts. Thanks for writing this!

  43. Alaska Pi says:

    As my lil sis says,Mr Roberts, you’re an Alaskan who just hasn’t moved here yet .
    Welcome aboard.
    Yup, whatzername has nothing to do with what Alaska is nor does she know what it is.
    It finally dawned on me that her tiny narrow window on this state is actually her mirror.

    I don’t mind answering SP questions when I travel Outside- or talk to visiting tourists.
    It’s not hard to say that there’s a valuable lesson in the cautionary tale implicit in our collective falling for a fresh face on the heels of Frank the Bank, one Mr McCain compunded by doing the same stupid thing…
    We won’t learn from our mistakes if we don’t talk about them…
    Now , if we can just unclench her claws from our politics, landscape, and future we’ll be on the way again to breathing fresh air and duking it out about things which really matter…

    • Bretta says:

      Excellent points – I will try to remember them as I try to improve my manners on all things Pay-lin: I am resolved to not behave like Willow & Bristol.

  44. yukonark says:

    Thanks, Zach – great letter/essay! I, too, miss the igloo question. Now I say, “I’m from Alaska and don’t ask me about Sarah Palin.” It is a conversation-stopper, but then, I didn’t want to talk about Sarah anyway.

    • slipstream says:

      My igloo melts every June anyway . . .

    • Bretta says:

      Some Texans walked out of a wine-taster bar in Oregon when they asked me about $owah and I told the truth. Hoo-boy was the barista mad at me. Took me a while to figure out why. Oh, well.
      LMAO when it dawned on me. (It was my bro-in-law’s winery – imagine I won’t be welcomed back ’til $he is no longer interesting.)

  45. Doug says:

    Good job. Except minor typo to fix in the opening: Mario Andretti is an Italian-American.

    • BigPete says:

      Andretti was born in Istria, Italy (which became part of Yugoslavia after WW2, and is now part of Croatia), but I’m sure he prefers to think of himself simply as “American”- just like Richard Petty, and John McCain (who was born in what is now Panama).

    • nikogriego says:

      A couple of other minor typos in an otherwise good article.

      1. “Instead I’m talking about the story of the Alaskan people, people that have not only survived in harsh conditions but strived in them.” I think you meant “thrived” in them, instead of “strived.”

      2. “Mike Bender of Lazy Otter took Shannyn, Jeanne and I out to see Prince William Sound.” It should read “Lazy Otter took Shannyn, Jeanne and ‘me’ out to see Prince William Sound,” not “I”-incorrect grammar, unless you are Rastafarian.

    • bubbles says:

      wonderful Southpaw. thank you.

    • ks sunflower says:

      A great post above and a get link here. My afternoon is much improved by both. Thanks to Zack and to you SouthPaw.

      Gosh, I love people coming together through the arts.

      Unfortunately, I can’t imagine Sarah or her brood doing something this wonderful, experiencing simply joy.

    • Loved it! That was fantastic – thanks for the link.

    • Gimme-a-break, Sarah says:

      How wonderful! Thanks for sharing!

    • leenie17 says:

      I sing with a local choir and we always do that song at Christmas (although we don’t sound quite that good!). It doesn’t feel like the holidays have really started until I perform it.

      Always makes me a little misty-eyed…

      Thanks for sharing the link.

      Isn’t it amazing what wonderful little treasures we can discover through the Mudflats? :)

    • AKLynne says:

      Thanks, SouthPaw. That was just wonderful. I put it on my Facebook…thanks to YOU.

      • Bretta says:

        Good idea – I’ll put it on my mother’s facebook page – a lot of her friends think $owah is the cat’s ass. Little do they know.

  46. leenie17 says:

    I am also a New Yorker and have visited Alaska several times. I had always dreamed of seeing the mountains, the glaciers, the seaside towns, the vast tundra, the grizzly bears, the whales, the eagles and, of course, the moose. My first visit was in 2005, when people outside of Wasilla were just beginning to hear of Palin, and no one ‘outside’ had any inkling of what damage she would do to our country. So perhaps my view of Alaska is not quite so tainted as those whose first taste of the state has been marred by her ugliness over the past three years.

    I think my life as a New Yorker also gives me a different perspective on stereotyping a state based on one small aspect. I grew up on Long Island and had to explain many times as I traveled to different places, that NY State is an expansive, diverse place and it does NOT all look like Manhattan. When a group of Irish children were visiting my program years ago, they asked if they could take a ride to Niagara Falls, and were shocked to discover that it was ten hours away, even though it was still in NY State.

    I have grown to love Alaska, hope to travel there again next summer and would love to live there someday. I refuse to allow someone as insignificant as Sarah Palin ruin such an amazing place for me.

    Long after her spotlight has faded and the memories of her have grown dim, Alaska will STILL be a place of incredible beauty, astonishing diversity, inspiring breadth, welcoming people and fascinating nature. And I, for one, will be anxious to spend more time exploring and soaking up the splendor of the state.

    • Blooper says:

      Leenie17, well said! Thanks for keeping an open mind and not judging Alaska by what $P says and does. I can only hope that others elsewhere will come to see Alaska as a place that has repudiated Sarah and her grifter clan. And you are totally right about Paylin being an unknown before 2005/2006. I’m a mostly life long Alaskan and even I had no idea who she was until August 2006.

      • Blooper says:

        I’ll add that I was away from Alaska during the whole Palin/Redurich fiasco in 2004, so maybe I would have known about her before 2006 had I been up here while that was going on, but in any case you get my point. :)

  47. colibrimoon says:

    Great read Zach, I know it has been said many times, “…You’re not a leader, you’re a celebrity, a politician at best. Actually Shannyn Moore said it best, you’re not a leader, you’re a climber”. Words that I will use over the next few months I am sure.

  48. nswfm says:

    Nicely done. No igloo questions. (I feel for you; I used to get asked if I was born in a hut, but no, I was born in a capital-of-a-country hospital, with an Austrian doctor who had delivered 10,000 other babies.)

    We’ll always have The Great Turkey Massacre, though. I think today is the anniversary of clueless Grandma Grifter.

  49. Zyxomma says:

    Succinct and to the point. Well done. I no longer associate $owah with Alaska. When I think of Alaska, I think of Shannyn, Jeanne, Scott McAdams, and others who make Alaska great (like the three sisters I met in DC whose soap I’ve been using). $owah has gone Hollywood. She just hasn’t left the shore of that dead lake.

    • CoyoteMarti says:

      I experienced a quite noticeable perception shift reading your comment. I’d forgotten that we all have a choice in how we see the world. Like a mini-exorcism.. Thanks!!!!!

  50. mag the mick says:

    Hi Zach: Great article. For us dyslexics, you could also call it “A State in Denali”. Yours is a very good reminder that we should not judge everyone in a state by politics. So this message also goes to ibwilliamsi who posted above. Arizona is a beautiful state with great people and thriving non-Republican culture (or pockets of it anyway). Come see us!

    • Zach says:

      Heh – love it! Sadly I never made it up to Denali. Next time Denali, Homer and Sitka are on my list.

    • Thank you! Here’s to thriving non-republican culture in Alaska….YAY..!

    • ibwilliamsi says:

      I keep seeing “Denali” instead of “Denial”, as well. I’m hoping that all of the diverse people up there will be able to get the message across to anyone visiting Alaska or planning to move to Alaska that $arah is not a fair representation of your beautiful state.

  51. dj99615 says:

    Expressed my sentiment well, I am ashamed of her connection to my state and wish I had the igloo questions back.

  52. blue_in_AK says:

    Thank you, Zach. I couldn’t agree with you more.

  53. Elizabeth says:

    Back when TLC was first talking about Sarah’s Alaska, I sent them an email saying if they really wanted to do a great show about Alaska and its people, they should talk to Jeanne Devon and Shannyn Moore because they both love the state and they know all the interesting people. Your wonderful article proves my point.

    • silverball says:

      ….unfortunately, TLC really wasn’t trying to show the state…they, like “the quitter” are only in it for the $$$$….i won’t watch it, but from the promos i’ve seen, it looks a lot like a political ad campaign….shame on TLC for misrepresenting this as something related to “learning”…unless they were thinking she’d be exposing herself as the shallow, petty person she REALLY is…..

      • Bretta says:

        I have a gut feelin’ TLC is punking Palins for the money but they’re too stoopid to understand. All they can see is $he got million per show. I call that prostitution but I’m just jealous.

  54. Ripley in CT says:

    Well done, Zach. It was my pleasure to have met you in DC and watch you perform your craft, taking what are sure to be incredible pictures.

    This essay/note is a poignant reminder to the rest of us that Mrs. Palin does not represent AK in any way, and her bastardization of its beauty and culture is clearly painful for you to see up close. Thank you.

  55. ibwilliamsi says:

    I have to admit that last night I was flipping channels and saw this beautiful scenery of rolling timberland and lakes and I knew it wasn’t Oregon or Washington because that is where I am from and it was far too vast and green to be that. Someone was referencing Prince Charles. My immediate reaction was “It’s Alaska, and I’m not looking at anything to do with Alaska, I’m sick to death of anything to do with her.” Just as I refused to drive more than a couple of hundred feet into Arizona this summer due to their immigration law, I found myself not even wanting to see anything that might have something to do with Mrs. Quittypantsonfire country. I did take an extra moment and realize that they were talking about the logging industry in British Columbia.

    But by then I felt as though I had lost something. I have family in Alaska and have done since the first days of the pipeline. Some have married into the tribes, although I have to admit my ignorance and say I don’t know which one. I always thought it would be a beautiful place to visit. I know that there are people who would welcome me with open arms. But that hateful horrible woman has ruined it for me. I suspect I am not a lone. Sadly for you, I think many of your new visitors – and settlers – will be gun-toting racist haters. I appreciate that Mrs. Quittypantsonfire should not be in our neck of the woods telling us what to do. But do you really want this icon of mediocrity back at home? Better she should fall off the face of the earth.

    • Blooper says:

      I totally understand how you feel, but don’t let Paylin be the one that keeps you from seeing Alaska. I guarantee it is a trip you don’t want to miss (although I recommend coming between the months of May and September). If you let her or the specter of her image prevent you from seeing one of the finest places on earth than she will already have won, in a sense.

      Come on up sometime. I assure you this is not Sarah Palin’s Alaska, it’s YOUR Alaska. :)

  56. DuckDriver says:

    Your story makes me want to visit Alaska while $carah’s screeching makes me want to travel
    in the opposite direction. We can all hope her star is fading into oblivion so Alaska can return
    to it’s own version of normal.

    DD

  57. TheRubberRoomHotel says:

    I love this! Thank you for posting it.

  58. tewise says:

    Great article.

  59. scarlet/oregon says:

    Great read!! Enjoyed every word … Thank you for posting this.

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