Palin Suspends Quitting to Attend Movie Premiere of “The Undefeated”
Sarah Palin’s One Nation bus tour has screeched to a halt. After the media reported it had been canceled, her Facebook page explained her summer plans on June 22 in a note titled:
*Sigh* Reports of Tour Demise are Greatly Exaggerated
The coming weeks are tight because civic duty calls (like most everyone else, even former governors get called up for jury duty) and I look forward to doing my part just like every other Alaskan.
I didn’t put the *sigh* in there. Just to be clear. That was the actual title of the post. The beleaguered exhalation came from Palin herself. She then went on to say that the wheels on the bus would go round and round “when the time comes.”
Apparently, in just a few short days, the “coming weeks” have become less “tight.” Sarah Palin and her husband, the ex-half-First Dude, have decided to suspend their suspension of the family vacation/One Nation bus tour, and the impending responsibility of jury duty to go to the movies. It’s actually a big fancy movie premiere! In Iowa.
~Iowa, home of corn, and the Iowa Caucuses
The conservative filmmaker Stephen Bannon’s Palin puffumentary, titled “The Undefeated” will be making its official premiere screening this coming Tuesday. When the title is in itself a misnomer, you know what you’re in for. But if you want the grizzly (mama) details, my review is HERE, because I got to see an advanced screening in Minneapolis last week. That’s right, I’ve already enjoyed all the oil-drippin’, zebra-rippin’, bridge-collapsin’, nuclear fallout-rainin’ imagery on the big screen. And my brain has almost stopped bleeding.
Not everyone feels this way, apparently. I was particularly amused by a bit of spam I found in the comments for that review. I’m sure it was copied and pasted on websites far and wide. We know that Palin wrote her own letters to the editor praising herself, so perhaps it was she herself who shared these thoughts:
“The Undefeated” is an interesting, endearing, and educational documentary that the entire family can enjoy together; and, of course, gorgeous, gracious, gifted Gov. Sarah Palin possesses more screen presence, natural beauty, charisma, and seductive allure than any film actress in the history of motion pictures. Expect “The Undefeated” to do very well at the box-office this summer.
Yes, the 9-year olds are going to love the whole 45 minute section on oil taxes, and the Alaska Gasline Inducement Act. Or perhaps they’ll just be mesmerized by her “seductive allure.”
The version I saw, is apparently not the “final cut.” I’m desperately hoping they didn’t cut out my favorite line.
Palin: “There are three words that define Alaska’s economic future – The Natural Gas Pipeline.”
But don’t worry. You won’t have to fly to Iowa to buy a ticket to the film that one Palinbot on Twitter speculates will be “bigger than Harry Potter.” Well, not if you’re lucky enough to live in one of the cities that will be showing this epic motion picture when it opens to the public on July 15th. Get ready Dallas, Denver, Oklahoma City, Orlando, Atlanta, Orange County, Phoenix, Houston, Indianapolis, and Kansas City – buckle your seat belts because here she comes.
Hey. Stephen Bannon isn’t the only one who can do gratuitous visual effects. (I bow deeply and bask in your applause)