D Student in Economics Knew it All Along – the Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin
~Sarah Palin, the future financial prophet, in college. Her economics themed attire reads:
“I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted.”
Yes, those fancy spectacles that may or may not have prescription lenses certainly gave the former governor 20/20 hindsight. You see, she predicted the United States’ credit downgrade all along. Yes, she did. Alaska’s half-term fiscal prognosticator knew it the whole time.
She used her favorite social media tool, her Facebook page, to deliver the lengthy “Told Ya So!” to the nation about Standard and Poor’s smack down that took the nation from a AAA to a AA+ rating.
“I’m surprised that so many people seem surprised by S&P’s decision,” she said with surprise. I think I speak for more than just myself when I say I’m surprised that she’s surprised that so many people seem surprised.
She went on to quote herself from December, 2010 stating that “Sooner or later, the markets will expect us to settle the bill for the enormous Obama-Pelosi-Reid spending binge.” Of course, no mention of the enormous George W. Bush spending binge that got us in to two wars we can’t afford, while simultaneously giving tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans, or the dimwits in Congress that held out on raising the debt ceiling, and actually increasing revenue. But it sounds really good if you have no idea what you’re talking about, or don’t care.
“One doesn’t need a Harvard Law degree to figure this out! ” she went on to jab the president. And one doesn’t need a communications degree from the University of Idaho to figure out that you don’t need a law degree to understand economics in the first place.
Her insightful words of wisdom continued when she reminded us that “there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Didn’t we all learn that in our micro and macro econ classes? I did at the University of Idaho. How could Obama skip through Columbia and Harvard without learning that?”
Here, let us pause to rub our eyelids and absorb the ex-half-governor’s comments. If she learned “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” in her economics class at the University of Idaho, it is perhaps one of the few things she did learn.
Back in July of 2006, during her gubernatorial campaign, she emailed a staffer about the “skeletons” in her closet that she felt the other side might be looking for. There were three. One was yelling at the wrong kid for not taking out the trash. The second was doing campaign business from her Wasilla mayor’s office. The third was getting a D in college in… (wait for it)… macroeconomics.
The revelation of these three things apparently struck fear in the young gubernatorial wannabe. Not getting pregnant out of wedlock, not rumored extramarital affairs, not her family’s obsessive stalking of the ex-brother-in-law and state trooper, not being a tax cheat and never paying property taxes on the family cabin, not whatever it was that kept her from revealing her medical records. Nope, it was the disgraceful grade in economics that she would have us believe was likely to be used by the opposition to take her down.
She repeated the story about the D grade being a “skeleton” in her book Going Rogue on page 112… only she left out the fact that it was economics, and the bit about doing campaign business from the mayor’s office. It might be embarrassing, we suppose.
“Look, I got a D in a college course once, and I yelled at the wrong kid this morning for not taking out the trash,” I said. “You got me. Those are the skeletons.”
In the light of all this, I’d say bringing up and lauding her own anemic economics cred shows real… what’s the word? CHOOT-spa.
To blame the Tea Party congress for this downgrade is “shamelessly cynical and dishonest,” Palin went on to say. How can anyone blame ” the very people who have been shouting all along “stop spending”? (Hint – they were the ones shouting “stop paying the bills we’ve already got”)
The post goes on to make an analogy about Nero fiddling while Rome burned, the fiscal house going up in smoke, and about how she and other “commonsense” conservatives were going for fire extinguishers, but politically correct people were burying their heads in the bonfire. After torturing that analogy until it screamed, she went on to my favorite part – how Shakespeare himself could have written a play about her sagacity and awesomeness.
Shakespeare couldn’t come up with a better plot. But how in the world did Mrs. Palin, who is supposed to be so thick, manage to figure all this out so far ahead of the New York Times and all the economists it talked to?
Another class the young Sarah Palin attended taught her a different valuable economics lesson, we learn.
The Weimar Republic inflated its currency so much that it took a wheel barrel full of paper money to buy a loaf of bread. That might be the main thing I remember from Mr. Crum’s history class at Wasilla High, but it told me all I needed to know about the inflationary dangers of a weak currency and why we must avoid it. What a shame Mr. Crum didn’t teach at Harvard.
A shame indeed. This valuable lesson and deep insight into the inflationary dangers of weak currency would have set those smarty pants academic elites back on their heels. I smell Nobel Prize.
The endless Facebook note evolves into an all-out campaign stump speech talking about how we don’t need that solar energy and high speed rail (“really fast trains”), but we do need to drill baby, drill; smack down the EPA, repeal Obamacare, give big business what it wants, abolish all those pesky regulations, and give the private sector “room to breathe.”
The whole thing continues to rise and swell like the finale of some flag-waving patriotic orchestral work, until the great finish!
We are the heirs of those who froze with Washington at Valley Forge, who held the line at Gettysburg, who freed the slaves, carved a nation out of the wilderness, and allowed reward for work ethic. We are the sons and daughters of that Greatest Generation who stormed the beaches of Normandy, raised the flag at Iwo Jima, and made America the strongest and most prosperous nation in the history of mankind. By God, we will not squander what has been given us!
If you aren’t saluting or crying by this point, you’re not a real American. One can almost imagine Mrs. Palin proudly holding her report card with the technically passing grade aloft, and steering the ship of state across the frozen Delaware River with Mr. Crum beside her at the tiller. Our economic future is in your hands, Mrs. President.