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July 24, 2014

Oyster Roundup – Jail Break, Flaming Pants, and Commie Frog

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more!

This is Alaska…

A 30-year old man escaped from jail during a bathroom break in the remote Western Alaska village of Alakanuk. It’s been nine years since Kevin Patrick has escaped from the Alakanuk jail during a bathroom break. This time his arrest was for drunk driving. The last time it was for assaulting a police officer with a shovel. After the first jail break, he was caught and arrested by trooper Eric Spitzer in a now infamous case where Patrick sued the state for the trooper’s excessive use of force during the re-arrest. The half million dollar settlement from the state wasn’t enough to keep Patrick out of trouble, apparently. He was last seen heading out of town on a green Arctic Cat snowmachine…

 

Kommie the Frog

A decade ago we learned the shocking news that beloved teletubby Tinky Winky was a secret gay icon (why else would he have a triangle shaped antenna and carry a magic bag?). And now, Fox Business shares with us the horrifying revelation that the Muppets are communists. That’s right – those seemingly charming and loveable characters who have free access to the innocent psyches of children are really freedom-hating capitalism-destroying commies. Pinko pigs and red frogs are on the march. It’s totally easy to see. The antagonists in their latest propaganda film are Big Oil, and it’s spokesman Tex Richman. It’s only a matter of time before one of these Muppet movies shows Gonzo shopping in the state store, and Big Bird winning all the speed skating events at the Olympics.  Don’t fall for the Muppet Manifesto, America. Keep Comrade the Frog at arm’s length.

The Attorney of the Flaming Pants

Remember when Municipal Attorney Dennis Wheeler lied to the Assembly and told them that the ordinance they were about to vote on, restricting the right to sit on city sidewalks, had been “run by the ACLU” and that they had no problems with it? Well he didn’t and they do. The Anchorage Daily News finally picked up on it (see link above), and at tonight’s Assembly meeting in the Loussac Library, Dick Traini will seek to have the law rescinded or repealed, ADN reports, because Wheeler “wrongly indicated” that he had talked to the ACLU.

Hold the Onion

No, this is not a satirical piece from The Onion. This is an actual Ron Paul ad. It is airing on TV in the key early voting states of Iowa and New Hampshire. Wow.

Trump Pulls a Palin

Why do conservatives like to make up words? I guess I do too, but I don’t actually pretend or think they’re real ones. Palin was the champ of that. Remember “refudiate?” And who could forget “mandation?” Well, Donald Trump has just announced that he’s going to help out some lazy inner-city youth learn work ethic by making them “apprenti.” Yes… “apprenti.”

[Newt] Gingrich, who found himself in hot water last month for saying America’s child labor laws are “truly stupid,” called on Trump to create an “Apprentice”-style program for 10 inner-city New York children to teach them “work ethic.”

“We’re going to be picking 10, young, wonderful children, and we’re going to make them ‘apprenti,’” Trump said after a high-profile meeting with Gingrich on Monday. “We’re going to have a little fun with it, and I think it’s going to be something that is really going to prove results. But it was Newt’s idea, and I think it’s a great idea.”

Nope, Newt won’t give up on child labor for the poor. Maybe all it needs is a TV show!

Comments

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Comments
53 Responses to “Oyster Roundup – Jail Break, Flaming Pants, and Commie Frog”
  1. I have never liked Ron Paul and don’t understand why anyone would vote for him. But that ad should send anyone who ever did vote for him running to sign a petition to recall him. I just don’t get the whole point of a libertarian running for politcal office. They don’t want to govern – they just want to end all the things that government does. So, are they really trying to get in office so they can put themselves out of a job?

    And then there is Trump. Good grief, will that man never go away and shut up? He manages to sound more intelligent and better educated than a certain person who quit her job, but I don’t think he really is. Apprenti? Really? His English teacher should be fired.

    And what’s up with this odd sentence:

    “We’re going to have a little fun with it, and I think it’s going to be something that is really going to prove results.”

    He’s talking about taking these kids to teach them a work ethic – but that last part doesn’t fit well. It’s going to prove results – results of what? That doesn’t make sense, but then Trump has never made sense, imo.

    Oh, speaking of Gingrich – I just saw his half-sister on Rachel. Turns out that’s not the correct pronunciation of his last name. It should sound like “ck” at the end. Hmmm.

  2. Desert Mudpup says:

    Would that be the same Municipal Attorney Dennis Wheeler who sort of forget to inform the Assembly that he was representing the Mayor when he implied that there was a binding contract to pay life insurance? If so, why is that guy still around?

  3. Lacy Lady says:

    $20,000 an acre? whew! And the new owner is going to grow what???? Or-Rent to hunters?
    They are always looking for farm land to hunt Deer and other game here in Southern Iowa.
    It is not safe to be around when these guys arrive. Hopefully it wasn’t sold to a person or Company from a foreign county.

    • mike from iowa says:

      I doubt if we will ever know the buyer for certain. Probably a speculator with deep pockets who will charge ungodly rent to recoup his investment in a hurry. There will be some farmer who will gladly pay high rent while grain prices remain high and stable.Very little NW Iowa land is suitable for much other than agriculture.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    People are freaking crazy.I tell you. 74 acres of NW Iowa farmland near Hull,Iowa sold for $20,000 an acre this week. My calculator can’t handle numbers that large. I could live in Alaska for a while on that kind of money. I could spark Shania Twain AND her hubby for a week or two with a bankroll like that.

  5. mike from iowa says:

    I noticed shotgun deer season opened last weekend-the first Saturday in December. Papers indicated a number of Iowa’s finest sportsmen took the Fun With Guns-Dick Cheney hunter safety course and the results were some splendidly stupid accidents. One hunter managed to shoot his own foot carrying some bags and a loaded shotgun. Two other unfortunates were shot by members of their own party when a deer ran between two hunters. No deer or incompetent hunters were killed during these exercises. I’m not sure I know why.Next weekend the second and longer shotgun deer season opens and the National Guard is scheduled to have several M A S H units set up in the fields just in case. If you want a taste of what combat might look and sound like,park your carcass near any farm or park in Iowa during deer season, roll down your vehicle window and put on flak jackets and combat helmets and watch and listen.

    • boodog says:

      “Two other unfortunates were shot by members of their own party when a deer ran between two hunters.”

      That part had me laughing out loud, mike!
      M A S H units, really? Isn’t hunting about survival of the fittest, and culling out the weak? :)

    • bubbles says:

      that is a wonderful visual Mike. i am in hysterics.thanks i needed that.

  6. Baker's Dozen says:

    Gifts to get the Palin kids. There’s 7–one for each kid, kid in law and grandkid. Now that’s pretty special.

    http://www.csmonitor.com/Business/2011/1206/Seven-worst-Christmas-toys-for-kids/I-am-T-Pain-Mic

  7. Baker's Dozen says:

    That Ron Paul ad is for real? It wasn’t made by another wannabe to help push him out? I never liked his ideas, but now he’s joined the crazy car.

    ATTENTION! Attention all squirrels! Return to tree immediately and put those nuts back in their shells! This is not a drill!

  8. Bob Lobster says:

    Obama makes up states… 57 and counting…lol… I wonder if he could name the extra ones without “making up words”…

    • leenie17 says:

      Oh, for crying out loud, it’s been almost FOUR YEARS since he mistakenly said 57 instead of 47 in the midst of a grueling presidential campaign!

      If you have to dig that freakin’ deep for a gaffe, it’s time to just LET. IT. GO.

      • bubbles says:

        i concur Leenie

      • Bob Benner says:

        I agree it’s silly… But no sillier than the question “Why do conservatives like to make up words?”… This blog site is severely biased in its left leaning opinions… But then again, it doesn’t ever pretend NOT to be… Sure there are coo-coo conservatives who are duped by psycho’s like Sarah Palin… But for every psycho case like Sarah Palin who has fooled conservatives, I can counter with a moron like Nancy Pelosi or a mean spirited “incomp” like Barney Frank who has fooled the liberals… Uh oh… Incomp??? Uh oh, I think I just made up a word… lol…

        • Mo says:

          Nancy Pelosi is ‘way, ‘way smarter than you, Bob. Richer, too. And better looking.

          And Barney Frank is more honest.

        • bubbles says:

          so which are you Bob? Benner or Lobster?
          for crying out loud this a progressive blog.
          not your cup of tea? you know what to do.

        • mike from iowa says:

          Actually,I believe incomp is a rwnj word,sort of a twisted way to describe the 1% who have the lion’s share of the wealth and income. Use it enough and it may become swanky and “in-fashion”. Us progressives will define it as “depicting the well off who are stinking rich through inheritance and wallow in obscene wealth while having no visible means of support or clues as to how they obtained their”incomp”.

      • COalmost Native says:

        Bravo!

    • Baker's Dozen says:

      American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, Wake Island, Johnston Atoll, Midway Islands. He forgot 7 more.

      Let’s see if Sarah or Michele could come up with their general locations on a blank map.

      And, to answer your question, yes, I can. I would imagine Al Franken can, too.

    • mike from iowa says:

      51) altered states 52) paranoid/delusional states 53) red states 54) blue states 55) left-coast states 56) Nor’Eastern,Liberal states 57) secessionist states.

  9. Rich (in name only) in Reno says:

    Please, let us not forget Michele Bachman’s “hombre-ette.”

    It’s not quite up there with “refudiate,” the Oxford American Dictionary’s word of the year for 2010, but you must admit that was a pretty gutsy move on Mrs. Bachmann’s part; she’s obviously not afraid of alienating the Republican base by speaking a language used almost exclusively by illegal aliens and combining it with that sissified surrender monkey French lingo at the same time.

    No doubt even now, Bachmanaliates are busy “editing” on-line Spanish Dictionaries so they will include “hombre-ette,” and the inevitable capitulation by Real Academia Espanola when they make it their “palabra del año por 2011” is only days away.

  10. Bucsfan says:

    Hey Mr Traini, like me you are retired military and one thing that was expected of us was to have integrity. So please stop using soft sell words like “wrongly indicated”. HE LIED! LIe, lie, lie, lie, lie. Not misrepresented. Not wrongly indicated. LIED! And I would like to see the Alaska Bar Association take some action against him.

    • fishingmamma says:

      You can send a complaint to the bar association about his unethical behavior in his capacity as City Attorney. Anyone can. You can bet nobody at City Hall will.

  11. Moose Pucky says:

    Kommie the Frog, how dare you suggest that cookie monster share his cookies! Everyone can only eat cookies they themselves bake (or steal).

  12. Moose Pucky says:

    Looks like Ron Paul has trumped Rick Perry by not only adding to the number of departments he would dispatch, but by also coming up with a foolproof method of remembering them.

  13. slipstream says:

    I don’t know about Kevin Patrick, but I go to the bathroom more often than every nine years.

  14. blue_in_AK says:

    Maybe The Donald is saying “apprenti” because he thinks apprentice is spelled “apprentus.” He could be just that stupid.

  15. Gramiam says:

    PALIN is BUSTED!! She has to give back $386,000 in contributions to her “Illegal defense fund”.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/geoffrey-dunn/palin-guilty-of-major-eth_b_624863.html

    • mike from iowa says:

      I’m curious as to the timing of the report. June of 2010.Did I miss something here?

      • Writing from Alaska says:

        Final report findings were released today. Initial findings were from someone affiliated with the Democratic Party who passed the investigation on to someone who would not have the appearance of a conflict of interest. If that is what you mean, yes, I think you missed something. ;)

        • mike from iowa says:

          Thank you very much for enlightening Moi.

          • See my correction – We must have posted at the same time – you are correct, this article is old. Just to be sure I double checked the Anchorage Daily News and there is no mention of this. I must have forgotten about it. How did that happen – ? The Huffington Post article is dated 2010. Don’t know how it managed to come up again.

        • OH, wait – the article in HuffPo is dated June, 2010 – now I am also confused – I don’t remember this from last year, but lots has been happening -

          • mike from iowa says:

            I’m confused,too,but for me that is normal. Wasn’t there a well known philosopher named Confuse Us or something along that line?

  16. Wallflower says:

    “Because that’s how Ron Paul rolls!”– Do they really think their target demo here; obviously males 19-34 –are going to swallow this bilge?

  17. merrycricket says:

    Really Ron Paul? You’re going to cut education and housing? Riiiiight……. Good thing you’re such a losser. You will never get that close. It just boggles the mind, doesn’t it?

  18. UgaVic says:

    I sometimes wonder why my head doesn’t just fall off lately, given all the shaking it seems to be doing while reading and viewing the ‘news’!!
    Lots of sighs and deep breathing seems to be the only things that keep me half sane now adays!

  19. BigPete says:

    Teaching the controversy

    This August, Fox went after Spongebob Squarepants (not personally) for neglecting to inform viewers that “man-made global warming is disputed by one political party in one country”.

    Speaking of cartoons, Huntsman has now followed Willard in flip-flopping over climate change: as long as there are questions, it’s best to do nothing- just to be on the safe side- until the situation is clarified.

    Wasn’t it naughty of Trump to make that snarky comment about Mormons never lying?

  20. mike from iowa says:

    I’m kinda torn about the Teletubbies/Jerry Falwell smackdown because the irony seems to be thick enough to slice. The right Reverend Falwell fell well short of his annointed pole position inside the Pearly Gates and wound up in Hell alongside the gay Tinky-Winky Falwell himself pretty much damned to Hell. TW was purple in color,if I remember correctly,as was/is Barney the obnoxious and annoying dinosaur that Falwell and Pat Robertson couldn’t abide by. Must be some spectrum of light that causes holier-than-thou faux Christians to come unglued with unbridled hate. In the meantime,I will keep on keeping on,whatever that means and return in my next life as an owl-perhaps a purple one-to twist the knife of irony deeper and deeper in the past purveyor’s of hate,where ever they are.

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