Ryan Steps into Palin’s Red Pumps
Oh, dear. She’s been waiting by the window and watching the mailman every day – pressing her little nose against the glass, and looking for that special envelope inviting her to the dance. And every day, he passes her by.
And we’ve been watching her watch the mailman pass her by, and stand in front of the mirror, practicing her speech. And finally, we’ve all come to the same realization. Sarah didn’t get invited to speak at the Republican convention.
After some private pillow-screaming, and plate smashing, and hair-pulling, she’s put on a brave face. You see, she really didn’t want to speak anyway, and she’s happy to let someone new have the spotlight.
And that speech she wrote? Well, it was really meant to be a Facebook status update, anyway. So there. And take THAT, California, you “brothel of environmentalists, lawyers, public-sector unions and legislative bums.”
Palin told Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren. “This year is a good opportunity for other voices to speak at the convention and I’m excited to hear them.” In other words, “I hate you I hate you I hate you!”
According to RNC Chair Reince Priebus, she may be hearing those other voices, but it won’t be from the convention itself. It appears that she’s not even planning to attend. In a statement to Buzzfeed, Priebus said, “Gov. Palin has been a force in our party and while I am disappointed she won’t be in Tampa I know she will continue to be actively engaged in replacing Barack Obama,” he said.
And so, now Paul Ryan steps up and tries to fill Palin’s red, size 7 Naughty Monkey pumps. It’s a tight fit. No one can dispute that Ryan has more experience in government (albeit not the formerly mandated executive experience), and that Ryan is smart (albeit diabolical), and has an actual plan (albeit draconian). But Ryan was chosen for exactly the same reason as Palin – to be a political Hail Mary to win the election for Romney, and not a measured selection who could take over on Day 1, should Romney choke on a quail egg.
Paul Ryan is a cynical and calculated pick to energize the base. It’s red meat for dinner, and eye candy for dessert on the other side of the aisle, folks. That’s what they ordered last time, and they seemed to like it. And I think, overall, that worked out pretty well.