Help! Help! We Can’t Find Sarah Palin!
Exxon has had some challenges in Alaska in the past. Remember that whole oil spill thing? Well, that was no walk in the park. Exxon and their legal help (including now-Governor Sean Parnell) had a devil of a time with those annoying fishermen. But finally, they ruled the day, and the Supreme Court whittled down the original $5 billion settlement to a mere $500 million owed to those whose livelihoods were damaged by the spill.
And if more than 20 years of fighting feisty fishermen wasn’t enough, now they actually have to try to find all those people to whom they owe money. The spill was 23 years ago, and people tend to move around a lot, or die, or just go off the radar. And there are some that won’t be found, no matter how hard the Exxon Valdez plaintiff lawyers hunt.
There were about 35,000 who originally claimed punitive damages in the case against Exxon. 1,886 are now on a list of “impaired claims” because they could not be located to accept payment.
That’s where we stand now. They’ve still got millions of dollars left to give away, and they’re down to the final list of those that simply cannot be found. We can only imagine what it takes to evade the searing searchlights of Exxon, with its considerable resources backing the hunt.
Who are these lost souls, these hermits, these claimants who cannot be located? They’re basically like unicorns at this point, or the holy grail, or the “real killers.”
And lo, and behold, look who’s on the list!
Why, it’s Ex-half-governor 548, and Ex-First-Dude 550 – otherwise known as Sarah and Todd M Palin of Wasilla!
Oh, where could they be now?
(I look under a napkin)
Nope. Not here.
(I walk outside and shield the sun from my eyes while I scan the Russian horizon)
No… I don’t see anything there.
I guess maybe the Exxon sleuths ought to try the last most obscure place they haven’t looked yet – that hideous red house on the shores of “Lake Lu-sill.” You never know. They just might get lucky.
But if Exxon still can’t find the Palins, they don’t get to keep the money. Instead, it will go to the state where they were last known to live. So I guess, it means it’ll go to Arizona.
But the unknown whereabouts of the Palins aren’t the only mystery. Unless I’m missing something, Governor Palin did not disclose her Exxon Valdez claim in her financial disclosure paperwork when she was governor, which I’m thinking she would have been required to do, right?. [See her financial disclosure forms HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.]
The only times (and there have been LOTS of them), that she’s mentioned her and her husband’s commercial fishing interests, it’s been for their fish site in Dillingham in Bristol Bay, not in Prince William Sound at all. But they each must have been had something of a financial nature going on in Prince William Sound, or they wouldn’t have filed a claim saying they were owed money because their livelihoods were damaged by the spill. Right?It’s really a puzzle.
Here is then Governor Palin talking about her disappointment in the Supreme Court decision that gutted punitive damages for a case in which she and her husband are both claimants. But she didn’t mention it once.
And how could someone who was the Vice Presidential nominee just forget to talk about how they were affected by the Exxon Valdez oil spill? I mean, that’s kind of a noteworthy thing, don’t you think?
Puzzle, puzzle, puzzle.
Hmmm. I guess when Katie Couric asked her about which Supreme Court decision she didn’t agree with, and she couldn’t remember that ruling about Exxon that she had spoken out so forcefully on as governor, the fact that she was a complainant, and was expecting a personal settlement in that case must have slipped her mind as well.