My Twitter Feed

September 16, 2014

Thong Wars

With only 13 days left until the election, we sit glued to the TV watching swing state polls, national trends, and of course the slugfests we call “debates.” We’re spending a lot of time guessing where people will put their votes, and analyzing what campaigns are getting whose money.

And yet with all the political speculation, nobody has asked the question – who are we putting in our pants? Sure, people are willing to wear t-shirts with one-liners like:

“I’d rather vote for the mormon than the moron”

or

“Romney for President – of the Cayman Islands”

But who gets our up close and personal vote?

Café Press has released a report, revealing which campaign Americans are most… intimate with. Across the board pro-Obama thongs are leading the underwear market, with a whopping 80% of purchases.

As a matter of fact, the President leads in underwear sales across the board – even in the swing categories like boxers and briefs. Even though Romney is hailed as the money guy, voters hesitate to let him near their best assets.

 

It’s not all good news for the President, though. He is also leading the sales of anti-wear. Angry undie buyers have cornered the right wing market. They may not want to keep Romney close, but they proudly don’t display their animosity for the current administration, and the President also leads in malwear.

 

This must-have get up is marketed as “Cute Anti-Obama Classic Thong.” If that doesn’t put you in a romantic mood, I don’t know what will.

Comments

comments

Comments
28 Responses to “Thong Wars”
  1. beth. says:

    I *knew* I’d seen Romney’s “glare”, before… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40 beth.

    (The Glare — minute 0:15 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxIjJUjAxc0 )

  2. John says:

    Saying you will vote for the Morman over the moron suggests that being a Morman is bad, but not as bad as being a moron. It is an insult about a particular religion as much as it is an insult about the President. This attack on religion should not be allowed. We should call on Republicans everywhere to object.

    • mike from iowa says:

      I have rethuglican Moermonds for neighbors. They are not Mormons. I would vote for one of them for county or township level positions. Never vote for a rethug where they can actually harm some one. Moermonds are nice people. I went to school with some Mormons. They were nice people. Romnesia…..nah.

    • Nick Danger says:

      Nonsense, if the man is going to parade his religion as a qualifier to be president, then I’m going to ridicule him for the insanity he believes in. Does he really think he’ll get a whole planet when he dies? Does he imagine his magic underwear will protect him? If so, I don’t want him anywhere near the nuclear trigger. Just what we need, another president, such as Bush, who actually believes these superstitions. That worked out so well, eh?

  3. thatcrowwoman says:

    Message to $arah whether or not she wears the “Cute Anti-Obama Classic Thong”~~

    Shuck you, you jive turkey.
    sincerely,
    thatcrowwoman

  4. John says:

    In driving around Anchorage, I see more Obama bumper stickers than last year. And very few Romney stickers.

    • DuckDriver says:

      Funny thing, bumper stickers. Since I live in Utah, I would think Romney stickers would be everywhere.
      This election season I hardly see any stickers for any candidate, which is most unusual.

      I wonder if that means the Mormons are just resigned about voting for Romney?

      DD

  5. Forty Watt says:

    That’s why Romney walks like that!

    I always thought he’d forgotten his Preparation H, but all along he was suffering from thong chafe. (Under the regulation “garment” no doubt).

    • Lacy Lady says:

      This is the best laugh I have had all day! ha ha ha ha

    • tigerwine says:

      Forty – I thought I was the only one who noticed (and got turned off by) the mincing, fast little steps that Romney takes. I feel so petty bringing this up – there are a lot more reasons I should be focusing on to vote for or against a candidate that the way he walks! BUT – it’s nice to know someone else has picked up on this!

      Romney is a tall man, as are Obama and Ryan, and they stride onto the stage in long, confident steps. Haven’t noticed Biden, so he must just looke normal to me.

  6. Lacy Lady says:

    If people knew anything about the Nazi—–they wouldn’t be wearing this “thong”. You can’t hide what you are.

  7. mike from iowa says:

    So what is Romnesia’s stance on increasing “Thong War”s” budget? Do “Thong Wars” need more ships or bayonets?

  8. Ivan says:

    wearing boxers put you in state of swing, er a swing state.

  9. FairbanksRick says:

    It sure seems like that here in Fairbanks you’d hardly know there is a presidential election impending. I’ve seen a couple of bumper stickers, about equally split,and one or two yard signs. More, but still not many signs/stickers for House/Senate races. Humm…

  10. HoboJohn says:

    Fired up and ready to good.

    I was wondering why there are customers lined up for blocks around beauty salons, awaiting a Brazilian wax treatment. Building the economy, growing jobs and families.

  11. Zyxomma says:

    Only a few of the images loaded.

Trackbacks
Check out what others are saying...
  1. [...] in popularizing many of them.” … Data point: “Across the board [at Cafe Press] pro-Obama thongs are leading the underwear market, with a whopping 80% of purchases.” …. Microtargeting: “These data are then used to [...]



Leave A Comment

%d bloggers like this: