Alaska Bravely Leaps Backward!
As the rest of the nation boldly marches forward, embracing enlightened thinking, electing more women to the Senate than ever; the first immigrant and first Buddhist in the Senate; the first openly gay woman in the Senate; the defeat of every Republican who ever made comments about “legitimate” rape, “God-intended” rape, and “just a method of conception” rape; as they celebrate marriage equality, and expanded civil liberties; as they re-elect a historic President; as the country decided in a measured and sensible way to keep the faith, and continue the slow forward momentum, and to not believe lies that were proven to be lies, and to celebrate (dare we say it) bipartisanship…
Alaska says, “We’ll have none of that, thank you.” And then it belches the alphabet.
In a resounding cheer for partisanship, division, fiscal idiocy, homage to big oil, fear of anything not “white Christian conservative,” trust in multinational corporations, and sending the rights of women back to the 19th century, we have a brand new state senate!
Representative democracy in the Last Frontier doesn’t represent all that “getting along, and looking out for the interests of Alaskans” crap. It represents Conoco Philips, and British Petroleum, and the mighty Exxon! They will never do us dirty.
We now have the government that we deserve. And by “we” I mean “they.”
The day after the election, a big announcement was made in the parking lot of the Association of General Contractors. No more bipartisan coalition. It’s Republicans with a side order of Republicans and a thick drizzle of Republican sauce. Dessert? May I suggest a Republican. Here is the new cast of characters who’ll be running the show in January.
Senate President: Charlie Huggins
This bright shining star from Wasilla sat out the last legislative session in the minority, sulking rather than join the majority coalition. Wasillans have rewarded him with re-election. If you check the “Issues & News” page on his website, you’re greeted by a photo montage (samples below), and a quote which says:
“People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.” Lewis Cass (1782-1866)
This explains why, I guess, he doesn’t feel he has to actually tell you what any of his issues are. We’ll have to wait and see what he does.
While he was not outright endorsed by Alaska Right to Life, the sentiment is that ultimately he’ll be on their side.
Senate Majority Leader: John Coghill
This bright shining star from
Wasilla North Pole sat out the last legislative session in the minority, sulking rather than join the majority coalition. Wasillans North Polers have rewarded him with re-election. (Hey, I hardly had to change that at all!)
For 14 years, I have been a conservative advocate for the Interior, fighting for individual liberty, limited government, and economic freedom. I believe we must produce our way to lower energy costs and use our natural resources to build Alaska. I was elected with the focus of pursuing sound economics, constitutional rule of law, and standing up for those who have no voice – whether unborn, ill or elderly.
Coghill said abortion will be on the top of his agenda.
Rules Chair: Lesil McGuire
In the bipartisan coalition last session, McGuire quickly saw the lay of the land and hedged her bets. Genuflecting to the governor she had recently chastised, and appearing at the Petroleum Club, she all but threw her colleagues under the bus to assure her own relevance in the upcoming session. Rumor has it she was angling for a bigger spot, but Rules Chair it is.
And nothing screams “Rules Chair” like a legislator who got thrown off of an Alaska Airlines flight for a profanity laced diatribe, refusal to turn off her Blackberry, and hurling a glass of water when refused alcohol, and is escorted off the plane by police.
And finally your Finance Co-Chairs:
Kevin Meyer and Pete Kelly are both endorsed by Alaska Right to Life.
Meyer is an incumbent, and Kelly a newcomer. You’ll remember him as the one who said:
“This legislation will not end juvenile crime. It cannot protect kids from a popular culture that replaces the virtues of honor, bravery and chastity with the anemic values of open-mindedness, diversity and Earth worship.”
In 2001, the Anchorage Daily News charged that Kelly and his allies “could use a civics course” because they “displayed a shocking ignorance of the basic principles of American and Alaska constitutional government.” Nonetheless, Parnell still found it fit to give Kelly a state job, doing what, nobody really knows.
Yes, Alaska, these are the legislators at the wheel of the senate as we speed into the past. You just lie down in the back seat and take a nap. They’ve got this. They’ll let you know as soon as we arrive in the Petroleum Colony of Alaska.
Welcome to the fiscal conservatism of giving away $2 billion a year with no strings attached, filling up the pipeline with oil that may or may not be profitable, and keeping the government out of your lives!*
*except for the uterus part
The next two years will be telling. Jim Minnery and the Alaska Family Council will be winging their way to Juneau, the firewall is gone, Sean Parnell is doing a happy dance with the Big 3, and we will have a very very different legislature.
So, stock up.