Don Young Will Break You
Guess what, boys and girls? The Food and Drug Administration just announced that a genetically modified, farmed Atlantic-Pacific salmon-eel hybrid (also known as the Frankenfish) is perfectly safe for human consumption! Mmmmmm. Anyone want some Farmed-genetically-modified-Atlantic-Pacific-salmon-eel-hybrid dip on a cracker? Come on, don’t be shy. It’s perrrrfectly fine. The government says so.
Ah, the gubmint. Alaska conservatives’ entity of choice when it comes to a target for hurling bile is the Environmental Protection Agency. But with the FDA, Alaska’s bipartisan congressional delegation comes together in a big bile-hurling kumbaya.
“The notion that consuming Frankenfish is safe for the public and our oceans is a joke,” Sen. Mark Begich, D-Alaska, said in a statement Friday. “I will fight tooth and nail with my Alaska colleagues to make sure consumers have a clear choice when it comes to wild and sustainable versus lab-grown science projects. . . . Today’s report is by no means the final say on this issue.”
That’s pretty in-your-face aggressive for Senator Begich. But giving consumers a “choice” implies that the frankenfish is actually going to be on shelves and available for purchase. And “fighting tooth and nail” is downright gentlemanly compared to the rhetoric coming from the Congressman for All Alaska. This is one of those rare moments when we love Don Young. It’s always fun when rabid is on your side, instead of fighting against you, or just being embarrassing.
“You keep those damn fish out of my waters. It will ruin what I think is one of the finest products in the world,” (Congressman Don) Young said in an interview, saying he fears that the spread of fish farms could eventually contaminate the wild salmon industry in Alaska. He wants to force delays in any FDA approval.
“If I can keep this up long enough, I can break that company,” he said, referring to AquaBounty, “and I admit that’s what I’m trying to do.”
You listening AquaBounty? Don Young will break you, and your damn fish too. And don’t think he won’t.
The “damn fish” actually has a name – it’s called the AquAdvantage. Sounds yummy, doesn’t it? “Salmon” is so passé.
The AquAdvantage fish will be egged in Canada, and then it will be transported south, and harvested somewhere in Panama, with “little chance” of the probably sterile, mostly all female CanaPanamanian gigantor escaping into the wild.
Beyond Alaska, and its stake in wild seafood, there is a bigger picture. Never before has the government allowed genetically modified animals to grace our dinner plates. Granted, we’ve had genetically modified veggies galore, but not meat. Remember a few years ago when the right got their knickers in a knot over evil leftist scientists who wanted to mess around with stem cells, which would engender moral decay, and the eventual creation of “human-animal hybrids?” The ethics of gene splicing was all the rage back then. Don’t mess with God’s creation, you heathen scientists! Not sure where all those people are now. They’re probably too busy trying to militarize our elementary schools for safety.
Let’s hope Senator Begich is right, and that this isn’t the final say. At least it’s an issue that can bring all Alaskans together.