Dancer Steals Xmas Mail?
Wait. What? Someone stole Christmas mail? On Christmas DAY? And they didn’t just grab stuff out of people’s roadside mailboxes, they stole the whole big giant blue mailbox itself… right in front of the post office? And they stole FOUR of them? A brazen culprit indeed.
This Christmas caper would be bad enough, if the prime suspect wasn’t … Dancer!
Hold on Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen. Before you get your antlers in a twist, it’s not THAT Dancer. The lack of opposable thumbs should have been a dead giveaway.
Authorities are seeking information about THIS Dancer, and there’s a $5000 reward for information leading to his arrest and conviction:
Police said Wednesday they had an arrest warrant for a man who cashed a check that went through one of those post offices, the Muldoon Station. The man, who police are looking for, is Clifford E. Dancer, 50, of Anchorage, said Anchorage Police Department spokesman Dave Parker. Dancer is charged with forgery and theft in connection with the check, Parker said.
This guy looks much more like a mailbox thief than our poor hapless flying ungulate friend. Now Dancer knows how all those other Charles Mansons out there feel.