Sen. Backpedals About Alaska’s Dimwit Voters
There’s backpedaling, and then there’s Backpedaling. Sen. Lesil McGuire (R), my friends, is a double-down Backpedaler. It’s actually quite impressive. It’s almost… what’s the word I’m looking for… “Palinesque.”
With the current legislature out of touch with actual Alaskans on so many issues, it’s a skill the majority of Republicans are going to have to master. House Majority Leader Lance Pruitt, and Speaker of the House Mike Chenault have already backpedaled to varying degrees that they laughed out loud at the thought of legal same-sex partnerships, despite the fact 70% of Alaskans think it should happen.
This time it’s about dumping cruise ship waste. Regarding the legislature’s recent overturning of a citizens initiative from 2006, Sen. McGuire had some words.
When asked about this on Tuesday, Sen. McGuire said:
“…actually when you sit back and look at voter psychology, when people go into the ballot booths, it’s not clear that voters always understand what they’re voting on, to be honest.”
Oh, voters. Silly, silly voters. You don’t even understand what you’re voting on half the time. Thank goodness you have lawmakers who can undo your careless mistakes.
Needless to say, McGuire got taken to the woodshed by those poor dimwitted Alaskan dunderheads who can’t understand things on ballots. So, did she apologize for her inelegant and insulting comment? You might think so. But you see, she doesn’t really need to apologize because YOU are the one who “misconstrued her statements.” It’s one of those, “I’m sorry IF YOU took what I said the wrong way,” only without the “I’m sorry” part.
Remember that first thing she said? Well… heh heh… actually, she meant EXACTLY “quite the opposite” thing! Here’s what she says now:
“Some people have misconstrued my statements as saying I believe voters may have been confused when they voted on the Cruise Ship initiative in 2006,” said Senator McGuire. “I think quite the opposite. In fact, Alaska has some of the most educated and engaged voters in the United States. These documents prove the citizen’s initiative was misrepresented on the ballot and that may have caused voters to make a decision they otherwise would not have made.”
So get this straight my fellow dullards – not only can we not understand what we vote for, we can’t even understand it when she tells us we can’t understand what we vote for. We are double dense – confused and misconstrued. And to prove it, after her non-apology, she dredged up and introduced papers to prove to us that we misunderstood what she originally said, while simultaneously attempting to obfuscate the fact that she said what she really thought the first time. Take 2 Advil for that political whiplash.
Somehow between Tuesday and Wednesday, her analysis about the overall “voter psychology when people go into ballot booths” became conveniently swept under the carpet. Instead, she’s doubled down, and attempted to distract us with shiny documents from the past. It’s suddenly all about this particular initiative’s wording. See, all that stuff about clean water clouded the minds of the otherwise astute and educated electorate, when what they really wanted was poop and copper in intertidal zones, and marine parks. If voters had only known how poorly Alaska regulates pollution from completely completely different things, then they’d have voted for an additional billion gallons of partially treated sewage, heavy metals, and foamy detergent. I mean, everyone else is doing it, so why not the giant floating cities from the Lower 48?
Well, I hate to break it to Sen. McGuire, but if Alaska voters are really as smart as she suddenly now says they are, they will actually see through her load of cruise ship waste in a flat second. You see, even we simpletons have learned…
The Seven Stages of Republican Guilt
1) Saying what one thinks out loud in public
2) Shock and horror at backlash from the aggrieved
3) Immobilizing panic
4) Fear that one’s allegiance to lobbyists will be discovered
5) Spin and creation of new facts to make the mean people stop
6) Blaming others in poorly-worded “apology” via press release
The good news from all this is that McGuire says she now wants to clean up water discharges from those other sources – Alaska municipalities and fish processors, which also dump nasty stuff in Alaska waters. This, of course, comes at the price of ignoring the cruise industry’s dumping. Let them dump at will, while holding residents to a higher standard. It’s kind of like letting oil companies get away with billions of dollars, while Alaskans have to sacrifice schools, and roads.
Perhaps the thought of cleaning up our act on both fronts of the dumping issue will occur to someone.
Until then, we’ll wait for the next legislator to say what they think with their outside voice, and then try to unring the bell. I’m guessing it won’t take long.