My Twitter Feed

September 18, 2014

Mike Dunleavy… AK Poseur?!

As I was swooping around the Twitterverse the other day, I happened to notice something… Something thad made me go, “Hmm.”

It was a tweet from Senator Mike Dunleavy (R-The Valley).

Mr. Dunleavy SAYS he’s a long-time Alaskan. (See Exhibit A)

He SAYS he’s an outdoorsman. (Also See Exhibit A)

dunleavy

Exhibit A

The Alaska Dispatch even says he’s been here since 1983. (See Exhibit B)

I pace across the floor, hands behind my back and brow furrowed. I give Mr. Dunleavy a Clint Eastwood squint.

You SAY you are a long-time Alaskan outdoorsman. You SAY you live in the Valley…

Then how, Mr. Dunleavy, do you explain… THIS?!

With great dramatic flair, I point to the tweet in question.

I present to the court of public opinion: Exhibit C:

snowmobiles

The courtroom gives a collective gasp!

“Snowmobiles?”

“SnowMOBILES?”

Really…

Mr. Dunleavy, I remember the first time I used the word “snowmobiles” instead of “snowmachines” in the Mat-Su Valley. I believe it was something like, “So, are you guys going to ride your snowmobiles to the cabin?”  There was an awkward silence, and I got the equivalent of a tobacco spit and a “You’re not from around these parts, are you?”

I never made that mistake again.

Snowmachines vs. Snowmobiles is the litmus test for real Alaskan. It’s the Last Frontier’s equivalent to the Lower 48′s regional indicators like pop vs. soda; hero vs. sub; frappe vs. shake; purse vs. pocketbook…

It was the moment we knew that Sarah Palin had abandoned her Wasilla roots. There she was on national TV explaining that Todd was a “snowmobiler” and would race his “snowmobile” in the Iron Dog “Snowmobile” Race.  A stab to the heart. Next thing you know, WHAM. She’s living in Arizona.

I’m willing to give the Senator the benefit of the doubt, and  imagine some fresh-faced intern from Texas  is responsible for the Senator’s social media presence, and therefore for this particular outrage. But just know this Senator Dunleavy, or whoever you are… We’ve got our eye on you.

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5 Responses to “Mike Dunleavy… AK Poseur?!”
  1. Zyxomma says:

    This was fun, especially picturing the fresh-faced Texas intern who’ll take the brunt of it.

  2. tallimat says:

    Well up in Northwest Alaska they call Dunleavy = DunUpNleft !!!
    He couldn’t handle rural Alaska.

  3. Randy Altermatt says:

    He was my roommate in 1983 in Koyuk, where he bought a Yamaha snowMACHINE. It must not have sunk in.

  4. goI3ig says:

    The weather is awesome today. I should be out riding my sled! Of course by that I mean my snowmachine.

  5. slipstream says:

    I’ll bet he says “duct tape” instead of the realbyGodalaskan “duck tape.”

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