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November 22, 2014

Troll of the Week!

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What used to be The Troll of the Week has become more of the Occasional Once-in-a-while Troll. The trolls we’ve been seeing around the Mudflats lately have been of the Common Troll variety. We’ve done a pretty good job over the years with troll-control, and have rid the flats of the most pernicious pests. So, generally, I’ll hear some little scuffling about in the back room, find a little troll, grab him by the ankles, and unceremoniously fling him out the mudroom door. They make a graceful arc, accompanied by a bit of a burbling scream that sounds something like “you’re denying me my first amendment riiiiiiiights,” and then they land. Splat.

But, this week we were quite astounded by what dragged itself up from the flats. It must have been an unusually low tide, or the New Moon, or something. But a hale and stout specimen of the subspecies Virulent Caustic Bigot Religi-Troll managed to squirm his way in! I know, right? It’s been a while.

Shannyn found him over by the Shannyn Moore Show entrance. And as tempting as it was to eject him as quickly as possible, we also recognized the educational value of bringing him out front so everyone can see. Then we’ll fling him far, and he can continue yelling at the clouds.

Here we go. (I reach into a fetid smelling burlap sack, grab the offender by the scruff and hold him before you)

Behold the madness.

Hello,

As I chanced upon your broadcast the other day, which surprised me that it was still on the air, I heard the disrespectful, lying and hateful remarks about the Catholic church and your own dismissive commentary. Of course the same hick that has always hated the Catholics, called in to spread more lies about us. Ed does not know what he is speaking of.

Well neither he nor you have the right to be wrong, regardless of what any man-made or demonic charter says. You people talk and talk about “democracy”, democracy originated in the mind of people who have the deepest hatred for God. Do you realize that the only thing that gives democracy existence is sin? The absence of democracy is perfect obedience to God.

For your listeners to blame His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, for the alleged sins of a troubled few, is typical liberal nonsense. I notice no one has ever, ever gone to jail for these so-called crimes. That should tell you something.

Liberals have been taught the same nonsense in your schools. But the Church has watched from the sidelines, as the ungodly elect atheists and homosexuals to school boards and legislatures to enact policies and laws that destroy our Christian children and discriminate against Christian families, the American Christian way of life. Atheistic secular liars should be removed from office, and Christians should be elected. Government and true Christianity are inseparable, despite the lies you spread.

We can and will take away their power by taking their money. Money comes from students. We’ll break their backs by taking 24 million kids out of the public schools. State Universities are breeding grounds, quite literally, for crime, sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV), homosexual behavior, incest, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, alcoholism, and drug abuse.

By forced integration, we have so lowered the academic excellence our once-great nation had to the point now, that we have no choice but to take our kids to voucher programs and home schooling. It really is the only way. We are making our white children mingle with ungodliness and you can see the result. Today’s children are DAMNED in the eyes of God. They’re damned. They’re gone.

Its all gotten so very worse with this muslim, socialist, ungodly food-stamp president at the helm.

The Catholic church will not suffer the lies and hate you talk on your show. I had decided to give you another chance, but you have once again demonstrated your true nature and so I am done with you, I will never listen to your program again. I await the soon to come day when they take you off this station for good this time.

Despite it all, I truly pray for your soul.
Yours in Christ

I told you! Now let’s escort this beastie out the door, and I’m going to go wash my hands. A lot.

Comments

comments

Comments
29 Responses to “Troll of the Week!”
  1. Wow, that is one hate-filled little troll, poor thing. It can’t quite decide whether to preach about religion or the Catholic Church or race or education, so why not tackle all the issues. Does this troll know that a good number of practicing Catholics are not white? That might come as too much of a shock and stun the poor thing.

    Has this particular troll been out in the open before or is this a first try.

    Better step back when you fling it out -it’s likely to be a big splat.

  2. hedgewytch says:

    I just love how the twisted logic to justify all that hate and rage spewing out and then she closes with a gentle passive aggressive, self-righteous “despite it all, I pray for you. Yours in Christ”. Somehow I think the mental health people have failed this one. Proof again that we need to add money to the system, not reduce it!

  3. Diane says:

    You know, the Catholic church is NOT a democracy. One of the reasons it can continue to keep women from positions of power AND keep priests who abuse boys and girls. The hierarchy can do what they want and be protected from the law.

    It is disgusting.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    Dear Troll, While your brain was being re-upholstered your god called and told you and yours to go to HELL!! UH….that is all.

  5. HappyHeathen says:

    Someone needs to call for an exorcism quick! After reading that I think I need one. LMAO!

  6. beth. says:

    Yowzers — you feeling right special, there, Shannyn? And can you feel the envy I’m green-eyeing at you?

    Oh, Lucky, Lucky you!

    I mean, what pulse-having woman wouldn’t be absolutely flattered, totally bowled over, and completely all a-tingle getting such a heartfelt letter? Especially when it’s from someone she didn’t even know was enamored of her in the first place?

    Just goes to show, heavens be praised, that Chivalry is still alive and well…even if it’s only letting the woman know (from the horse’s mouth, as they say) she’s being unceremoniously dumped by a nutter. Will wonders never cease… Yikes!!!!!eleventy-one!! beth.

  7. benlomond2 says:

    hhhmm we’re all in trouble.. The Roman Empire was in fairly good condition, allowing all religions equal freedom , until Christianity became the official Religion of the Empire .. and gosh DARN us Greeks for using Democracy as a form of goverment when we were Pagans … hhhmmm.. maybe I should REALLY go back to the OLD Way of worship…

  8. ugavic says:

    To his ” Today’s children are DAMNED in the eyes of God. They’re damned. They’re gone.” I SAY….my hope and prayers are with our GREAT KIDS OF TODAY!!

    Most of them seem able to see through this CRAP and see how to treat their fellow human beings with respect and love, as it should be.

    I will remain positive that true Catholics know the love of God and how to reach out for the good in at least most of us!!

  9. Ivan says:

    Yes, because God loves his children so much that he gave them free will, but if they did not Do exactly as he says he would damn them to hell or kill them.

  10. Nancy Allthrop says:

    Hope this person becomes Mike Dunleavy’s BFF and twitter tweats him often about the necessity of school vouchers to keep those children of color away from the white supremascists’ kids. Better yet, let’s send this person a one-way ticket to Juneau to hang with Dunleavy and be Dunleavy’s prime tesitifier for his school vouchers.

  11. John says:

    I blame main stream media for the troll proliferation, as well as their ascendancy within the republican party. Based on the theory that newspapers and TV shows sell best when there is a controversy, they seek out two sides to every issue. If 1000 scientists say global warming is a problem, they will seek out one who says the science is still uncertain. If someone says people die in a war, the media seeks out someone who says those are fake casualties. This has given credibility and encouragement to people with a very loose grasp on reality. The media used to ignore Lyndon LaRouche and his followers, while the rest of us just thought they were nuts. Now the LaRouche equivalents are taken seriously, and actually win presidential primaries. Anyone who dares say that the moon landing wasn’t fake has no chance of winning the republican nomination in several states.

  12. mike from iowa says:

    According to BishopAccountability, the Catholic Church has paid out over 3 billion bucks for non-exixtent sexual abuse cases as of 2012. There are many verifiable cases of church officials hiding relevant information from police. In Los Angeles alone,their prison system could be filled with naughty Catholic priests should the state ever bother to charge them. For nutters of the conservative bent,their moral values are non-existent. Adultery by dems is an impeachable offense(see Clinton) and mass murdering war crimes (see Nixon,Ford,Raygun and two dimbass dubyas) don’t matter.

  13. KatzKids says:

    It’s not my imagination – the crazy ARE getting crazier. Reading their comments all over the web are witness to it. Absolutely frightening.

  14. Ripley in CT says:

    wow, a REAL troll! Not a word generator/translation one! Congrats!

    And such a good and helpful Christian, too. How pleasant of him to mention that all our children are damned to hell.

    • COalmostNative says:

      Must be a member in good standing of the Phelps church in Topeka KS, although they usually post their hate on signs, and not online…

  15. Donna B says:

    Democracy is the cause of sin, or was it the other way around? It does sound like The Onion. I am tempted to say that no one could rally be this stupid, but then again…….

  16. Bigtoe says:

    I must have missed the christian part of his message. What was it again?

  17. Jim Bishop says:

    From this rant we are expected to learn respect for the Catholic Church? It seems unlikely to work. Send Savanna Rolla back to his tomb.

  18. AKblue says:

    Not a speck of logic or rational thinking in the whole piece.
    I often wonder why these folks torture themselves by listening to or logging onto progressive sites. (Aside from their already tortured lives….)

  19. Alaska Pi says:

    Trollie-
    Pfft!

    Better get on your knees and pray…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di0UwnExFvc

    Chocolate Jesus is up next, my friend.

  20. Mo says:

    “And tell those damned kids to get off my lawn, too! Also.”

  21. WakeUpAmerica says:

    Was it signed “Mark Santorum?”

  22. Game of Life says:

    Talk about crazy. her ilk is what got us into all this mess.

    Excuse me I have bleach my eyes.

  23. Okay... says:

    There is a word for that condition…Lithium sounds like the remedy…yikes…

  24. Lynne says:

    That was pretty astounding! Glad I don’t have to be exposed to that ranting on a regular basis. A truly sick individual.

  25. Phil Rolfe says:

    As the bumper sticker says, “dear Jesus, please protect me from your followers”…..

  26. Erin says:

    I’m just going to pray to every god of every pantheon that ever was that this was the satire kind of trolling and not the “I’m stupid enough to lose a game of Tic-tac-toe to a sea sponge” kind of trolling… Oh gawd…

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