Alaska Politicians Uncovered!
If you are a person of symbology, a political mystic, or for any reason believe that anagrams have any kind of hidden meaning, then get out your crystal ball, light a bundle of sage, and wrap your head around these startling divinations.
I took it upon myself to use a handy online anagram generator (or two) to share with you the deeper, sometimes darker, and often creepily accurate dimension of (echoey deep voice—->) THE POLITICAL ANAGRAM.
Let’s begin with the executive branch:
Governor Sean R Parnell = Plane Snarler.
Hmmm… I thought that was Sen. Lesil McGuire!
Lt. Governor Louis Mead Treadwell = Well-made as Dire Lout.
If you’re going to be a dire lout, be well-made.
Senator Mark Peter Begich = Make Bright Creep.
Hey, at least he’s bright!
Senator Lisa Ann Murkowski – I’m a liar’s skunk now.
Congressman Donald Edwin Young = Gonad in woundedly.
God knows, Don Young has wounded plenty of gonads in his day but, I tried to make a better one.
Don Edwin Young = Unending woody.
OK, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Joseph Wayne Miller = Enjoy Swampier Hell!
OK, he’s only a potential candidate at this point, but I couldn’t resist.
Peter Micciche = I’m hectic creep!
Lesil McGuire = Lie, crime slug!
She had a directive.
Gary Stevens = Nervy stages.
He does have those!
Catherine Giessel = Cheesier genitals…
Hey! Don’t look at me, I didn’t name her.
Bert Stedman = Rams net debt.
Oh, those number crunchers.
John Bruce Coghill = Crouching job, Hell!
I’ve never heard it called that, but I’m thinking it involved an oil company or three?
Charlie Huggins = Churlish ageing.
Lyman Hoffman = Man off hymnal.
I don’t judge.
Johnny Ellis = Jelly Ho Inns
Do not start this chain, Senator.
Hollis French = Fresh chill on!
Bill Wielechowski = Cowbell while I ski!
Kevin P. Meyer = My Keen Viper.
Is that like My Little Pony for Republicans?
Click Bishop = Slick Phobic.
Clearly not enough, considering his vote on cruise ship dumping. Just saying.
Berta Gardner = Greater Brand.
That she is.
Dennis Egan = Sane ending.
Exactly what he was, after the Palin Picks a Senator debacle of 2009.
Pete Kelly = Key pellet.
Donald Olson = Old and loons.
Mike Dunleavy = Naked evil! Yum!
I got nothin’.
Anna Fairclough = Our anal chafing.
Is there a salve for that? Because we need one.
Frederick Dyson = Frisky corn deed.
Moving right along…
State House (Oh, yes I did… All of ‘em!)
Alan Austerman – Mean as natural.
Works for him.
Mike Chenault – Humane tickle.
Eeeeewww. And not!
Mia Costello – Malice tools.
She’s got ‘em!
Harriet Drummond – North druid, arm me!
Is this what she says before going on the floor?!
Bryce Edgmon – End bog mercy.
Quick! Guard the wetlands!
Eric A Feige – I age fierce.
Neal Foster – Reason left.
Les Gara – Large as.
Good thing he only spells it with one ‘s’.
Lynn Gattis – Nasty Glint.
Max Gruenberg – Bug Marx green!
That’ll show the commie bastard!
David Guttenberg – Gnat bug diverted.
It’s Fairbanks. There will be more.
Michael Hawker – Heck, I ram whale!
Step away from the ocean!
Robert Herron – The born error.
Pete Higgins – Seething pig.
Lindsey Holmes – Yells, “Hedonism!”
Yell it, baby!
Shelley Hughes – Yes, she Hell hug.
Doug Isaacson – Odious gas can.
Craig Johnson – His con jargon.
They keep falling for it.
Andy Josephson – Enjoys hand ops.
I’m only the messenger.
Scott Kawasaki – Wait! A sock task!
Just don’t roll them up in those little balls.
Wes Keller – Reeks well.
Is that possible?
Beth Kerttula – The tub talker.
Don’t wanna know.
Jonathan Kreiss-Tomkins – Janitor shakes mink snot.
It’s not nice to gossip about the cleaning guy.
Gabrielle LeDoux – Large, deluxe boil.
Robert Lynn – Nobler ‘n try.
Charisse Millett – I’m still cheaters!
Cathy Muñoz – Much to zany!
Um. That should be “too,” but we’ll accept the Republican spelling.
Benjamin Nageak – A keen bang, in jam.
To each his own.
Mark Neuman – Am rank menu.
He’s today’s special.
Kurt Olson – Looks runt.
Lance Pruitt – Neat culprit, or pert lunatic.
I couldn’t decide. Take your pick.
Lora Reinbold – Liberal donor!
Do they know this in the Valley?
Dan Saddler – Added snarl!
Now 25% more!
Paul Seaton – Up, Satan! Olé!
It’s a party in Homer!
Bill Stoltze – Blitz to sell.
His soul? The state? Details, please.
Geran Tarr – Rare grant.
Steve Thompson – Hot pest venoms.
Chris Tuck – Stuck rich.
Peggy Wilson – Snowy pig gel.
Tammie Wilson – Wail, “Some mint!”
Someone get her one, for God’s sake!