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A Six-pack of Stupid. Happy Monday!

It’s Monday, so we thought we’d start your week off like this.
Here’s a compendium of stupidity from across the nation. Full stories are linked in the titles.

Oh, Florida…

In an effort to ban all internet cafés (because why wouldn’t you), it seems that the hastily thrown together Florida legislation will make all cell phones, tablets, laptops, and every 40-pound PC owned by every retiree in the state illegal, because apparently they are the same as slot machines. You just know it’s only a matter of time before some red southern state is going to slip up and ban women. Because they too, are basically the same thing as slot machines.
Sorry Grandpa, no more aol for you.

Oh, Indiana…

So, you’re a Republican state, and you’ve already illegalized same sex marriage. But you still want to go that that extra step. What to do…   Indiana knows. If a same sex couple fills out a marriage license application, it’s now a felony punishable by 18 months in prison, and a $10,000 fine. The private prison industry wins, God wins – it’s all good!



Oh, North Carolina…

What’s even better than measures banning the ever-menacing threat of Sharia Law in North Carolina? Sneaking anti-abortion measures into the bill so women’s health advocates aren’t tipped off.

And also, it’s totally not ironic to the point of self-parody.



Oh, Alaska… I mean, Wisconsin.

Guys who refuse to answer questions,  wearing combat gear with semi-automatic weapons standing around in the woods. Apparently they’re guarding an area where core samples are being taken for a proposed iron mine. But they’re not talking. Literally.

Keep an eye out, Bristol Bay. You may  be next.


This is not Fairbanks.

This is not Fairbanks.

Oh, New Mexico…

3-D movies used to be all cutting edge, and exciting, but let’s face it… you just don’t get the same rush you used to. Am I right? Take it away, New Mexico guy. Here’s the headline:
Man Who Is Apparently Unimpressed By 3D Caught Injecting Heroin Into Scrotum At Movie Theater

Oh, Florida… again.

Looking for a rush, but the nasty side effects of heroin got you down? Don’t despair. Here’s some pure adrenaline.
“The three hooked the (giant, purple, 600-pound) chicken to a Chevrolet truck and dragged it a mile down the road. Ben Smith told deputies that one of the thieves mounted and rode the purple aluminum bird, the Sheriff’s Office said.”

Oh, Texas!

At least somebody out there did something right.




41 Responses to “A Six-pack of Stupid. Happy Monday!”
  1. mike from iowa says:

    Department of Pubic Safety officers confiscated tampons and maxi-pads before letting women intoTexas Senate gallery yesterday. Concealed weapons were given the o.k. Guess idjets in Texas never heard of throwing lead or they just wanted to continue their personal animosity towards women. Bill passed and will be signed by Gov Greaseball.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      mikey- I think we should ask AKM for a 12 pack of stupid. This has been the week to beat all dumb weeks.
      The jury found Mr Zimmerman innocent. Innocent. Pffftt!
      I’m gonna go breathe somewhere.

      • mike from iowa says:

        Might need a brewery,the hits just keep on coming.Gun laws and courts aren’t working to protect innocent lives. Totally at a loss about what’s next.

  2. mike from iowa says:

    This is a wake up call to each of us who concentrate on national issues and ignore the cree[ping crud taking over statehouses. This has occured since January last in North Carolina and it ain’t pretty.

  3. mike from iowa says:

    Texass House of rethuglicans pass restrictive anti-abortion bill after less than a hour of debate today and send the bill to the Texass Senate of rethuglicans where passage is inevitable. Texas rethuglican rethugs are tweeting praise god. Time to shut down this theocracy before rill “merica gets contaminated.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    Mn Elsie-one last,spooky,coincidental thingy that is rilly starting to freak me out. Youess Highway 59 runs N and S the length of my old hometown and terminates in Laredo,Texas. In Cherokee,Iowa youess highway 59 is Second Street,which also happens to be the street I lived on. Maybe I’m a closet Texan.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      … which would put you in some pretty fabulous company , current politicos and corporate kings and queens notwithstanding. 🙂
      TX always reminds me of the when-(they-were) bad-(they-were)-very-very-bad-when-(they)-(were)-good-(they-were)-very-very-good thingy my Ma used to chant under her breath about various groups…

      • mike from iowa says:

        Where did youall find Ms. Elsie? I feel like I’m in a rilly good dream and don’t ever want to wake up.

        • Alaska Pi says:

          It is a long involved story which started with bad stuff including one of the WGE’s worst failures as Gov and turned into lots of good stuff and a passle of new friends including Ms Elsie , a trip to OZ ( Anchorage ) where we were rewarded with great feasts,fireworks, and getting to meet the Three Witches 🙂
          and terribly , wonderfully OZ like we found no one behind the curtain …
          and a whole bunch of wonderful people with hearts and minds and all right next to and inside ourselves.
          It is an Alaskan fairytale story… 🙂

  5. Moose Pucky says:

    Rolling in the woods laughing. Oh Texas, Perry rides into the sunset.

  6. Zyxomma says:


  7. InJuneau says:

    OH the STUPID, it burns. So, so brightly it burns…

  8. Kath the Scrappy says:

    A little off topic, but I’ve just GOT to share! This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen, and I WAS a skeptic! Kid Sis came upstairs with a project.

    Half fill a zip-lock sandwich baggie with water. Toss in 4 copper pennies & zip. Then tie it outside in the OPEN window. Keeps flys out of the room! Their little beady eyes see the reflections as predators.

    Someone wrote FB on line about going to a restaurant, sitting outside and seeing a bag up on the side of the outdoor seating area. Curiosity finally got the best of her, so she asked. Then another poster said she later tried it on her horse trailer, thousands of flies reduced to 1-2 ‘brave souls’ – said it truthfully works.

    Since we don’t have A/C & leaving upstairs windows open, the flies have been an irritant. By golly, since she put one on the balcony door and one in my bedrm window hours ago, it works! Haven’t seen a fly since and she reports none from the french doors downstairs either. Haven’t seen any fruitflies on the kitchen yardwaste bin & it’s supposed to work on Yellow Jackets too. Unbelievable!

    • beth. says:

      Our local PBS at times shows as ‘filler’ a short clip of Rick Steves (of “Travels in Europe With”, fame) discussing exactly that, KtS — danged if I can remember what wee Mediterranean town he’s in, though, for the filming. Possibly one in Portugal? Sardinia? Can’t remember any coins in the hanging bag(s) of water, either, but I do know the locals ALL have the clear plastic bags by their windows/doors and nary a fly is in sight…well, not indoors, at any rate. By the way Rick presented the idea, I always thought the piece was a toss-off ‘joke’ bit on superstitions of the unsophisticated, old-world locals. I’m guessing it isn’t, eh? beth.

      • karen marie says:

        I’m in AZ. One of my friends did that after being told it was “guaranteed to work.” No, it didn’t work. Not even a little. 🙁

    • benlomod2 says:

      I find that having screens on the windows works pretty good……………………….. Ben runs for the hills…. 🙂

    • Moose Pucky says:

      Oh, precisely on topic. 🙂

  9. Alaska Pi says:

    Oh jeez, AKM!
    I’m a half step from screaming and running off into the brush over all the BS going on here.
    I think I just got sucked down the drain with all this stoopid on top of our BS.

  10. mike from iowa says:

    Stupid in iowa-

    Guv Braindead’s SUV clocked going 90 in a 65 mph zone and the DCI officer who initiated pursuit was placed on administrative leave.

  11. mike from iowa says:

    North Carolina kicked 71,000 people off extended unemployment benefits. Could cost the state’s economy some $20 million per week. Georgia is set to execute a retarded inmate July 15th,even though the Scotus ruled that we don’t execute the retarded. Apparently Georgia officials aren’t concerned with the courts. Can someone set mikey straight on Roe v Wade? The Scotus ruled that abortions be cut off at viability,which THEY decided was 28 weeks in most cases and 24 weeks in others. How can Texas re-write Roe to cut off abortions at 20 weeks? Wouldn’t that be clearly unconstitutional?

    • Elsie says:

      Hey, Mike, I’m a Texan by birth who votes against the jackasses here every chance I get, so don’t hold it against me for being Texan, okay? I only mention this to show I have some understanding about what goes on this state.

      “How can Texas re-write Roe to cut off abortions at 20 weeks? Wouldn’t that be clearly unconstitutional?”

      The numbnuts in our legislature here do the same thing with the Constitution that they do with the Bible….they pick-and-choose whatever evil du jour they want to push on us based on what their ALEC rulers, deep–pocketed lobbyists, and other Good Old Boys say, and what their political needs are on any given day.

      The Godawful Old Pricks here in Texas aren’t going to let the Constitution and the Bible get in their way of turning this state into a theocracy. Oh wait…. we’re already there, aren’t we?

      Back-scratching is a full-time job here by any number of good ol’ boys. The one thing that the Wasilla Witch got right in all the word salad she’s spewed out over the years is when she talked about “crony capitalism”. Crony capitalism is the ONLY way the Texas government has operated — ever since U.S. Representative and Texan Tom DeLay micromanaged the gerrymandering down here to control votes for Republican districts while he was still up in Dee Cee.

      Hey, one mo’ thang…. I seriously doubt that The Dick Perry is leaving politics. He’s just not going to run for governor again.

      And according to Ms Juanita Jean at “…For those of you who think Perry leaving is a good thing, let me introduce you to Greg Abbott. Perry without the compassion and charm.”

      On a related subject, how is it that Rick Perry is a millionaire after working only in “public service” all his life? It’s stuff like this:

      Ugh. I need to go bleach my brain just thinking about all this….

      • Alaska Pi says:

        My favorite Texan!
        Give ’em hell my SPIFFY friend!
        When you’re done there, come on up and spread your magic round here again 🙂
        We could sure use it!
        Well… all ‘cept the part of almost running up an electric pole 😉

        • Elsie says:

          Hey, that taxi driver never even came close to running us four progressive women up an electric pole. But he WAS way out of his league spewing his horny blather about the wicked witch half governor with US in HIS taxi.

          And we showed him, didn’t we?! We just sorta shut him down; he never even saw it coming (BAM!) but might be a bit more careful with his b.s. in the future.

          Anyway, one good thing that may have come out of all that is that I have decided to re-think my mouthiness while in a taxi rolling down snowy Anchorage streets.


          • mike from iowa says:

            There has been a big ol’ Alaska-sized hole in my world since the passing of Molly Ivins. You sound like that hole could be starting to fill in. Birthright,of and by itself, is relatively unimprotant,it is how nutters tarnish their birthright with Gays,Guns and god that worries me.Any friend of Pi’s has my vote for Master/Mistress of the Universe. (no offense)

            • mike from iowa says:

              Didn’t I read somewhere that Gov. Oil Slick is collecting his pension alongside his gov. pay? Gotta check this out,again.

              • Elsie says:

                Thanks for the kind words, Mike.

                “Mistress of the Universe”? Holy crap…. I’m more comfortable in just being “mistress of all I survey”. Truth be told, I’m in a spare bedroom in my home in Houston with my feet propped up on my desk, and I can’t survey a whole hell of a lot in here, but that’s plenty enough for lil ol’ me.

                We are kindred souls: you and I can share top honors in Pi’s fan club, although I’m sure she has plenty more fans out there amongst The Intertubes, also-too, as well. (!)

                Here’s a link to The Prick’s collecting retirement benefits while “serving” (I use that term loosely, of course) as governor:

                However, if you want to get into it a little deeper, here’s a good link on a whole passel of politicians getting retirement packages while still actively serving in one governmental capacity or another:
       Notice two other bloviating asshats from Texas: Cornyn and Poe. Ack.

                Damn, it’s only about noon in Texas right now, but there’s gotta be a bar open somewhere…. I either need a serious drink or a really big aspirin for the headache that comes from thinking too deeply about these numbnuts….

              • Elsie says:

                Hey, Mike, one last thing, and then I’ll let this go:

                When you need a big ol’ dose of the incredible Molly Ivins or the beloved Gov. Ann Richards (bless their ol’ souls), just look up Mz. Juanita Jean at

                She has PLENTY to say about Texas politics and lots of smart progressive Democratic friends and commenters, and good links to follow along with, regarding the “stuff” (you know the real word I want to use, don’tcha?) goin’ on here today and the numbnuts who are doing it.

              • mike from iowa says:

                This is rilly getting spooky,even with nutjob Steve King as my 4th district congressweasel up in NW iowa. Your first link landed Gov Oil Slick in Cherokee,iowa-which incidentally is my birthplace and home for the first 23 years of my existence. In fact,I am only 19 miles straight north of there as we speak. You have to go i mile east and almost a half mile back north and then one tenth of a mile west(long lane,two mailboxes)to find me sitting here in sweltering heat,meeting new people. It is a small world. Now I have to wonder if the stench of Perry neutralized the smell of all these hogs around here. Muchas gracias for interdiction in my world.

          • Alaska Pi says:

            Sure. Maybe… 🙂

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