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October 21, 2014

Tea Party X-Mas Gifts

We’ve all got one in our family. A teabagger. Outside of the John Water’s reference that makes me giggle everytime I hear the word, we all know what that means…  Arguments over Obamacare, Obamaphones, Obama birth certificates and other Obama related tragedies. Unfortunately it’s the Holidays, so you’ll need to buy this lovely human being that is somehow related to you a gift. The latest Chomsky book isn’t going to work, and neither is a t-shirt from TheMudflats.net [wink]. That’s why I’ve complied a list of some sure fire gifts for that angry at the world for making him white in America in 2013, relative of yours.

Do you have a relative that won’t let you forget that 4 people died in Benghazi under Obama but refuses to discuss the 13 similar attacks that occurred under Bush or the dozens that were killed in attacks under the Reagan presidency. Well then these fine stackable mugs printed with the words “Benghazi’s Murderers” will make for the perfect tea-bagger tea cup. Why would someone want to stare at militant Islamists faces every morning? Well, luckily they don’t have the face of the people that actually murdered the people at the embassy they have the face of President Obama. Yep. [hat tip to Happynicetimepeople.com]
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Need something for that non-ironic mesh trucker hat wearing Uncle who thinks that George Zimmerman is the bees-knees? Well nothing says “I’m going to shoot you because I’m scared, and then claim that I was standing my ground later” like a t-shirt that announces “We immediately murder all suspicious persons.”

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If not the American made American Apparel t-shirt above, maybe this Tea Party remembering the dumping of Tea in the Boston Harbor. “American Vigilante. defending freedom since 1773″ Personally I really like it in pink… it brings out the meth in my eyes.Screen Shot 2013-12-18 at 5.41.10 PM

Probably the most crassly commercialized show since The Simpsons, Duck Dynasty is everywhere from DVD’s at the gas station, to toys at the hardware store to advice books on Amazon.com. As the author of this stately tome is currently in the process of being martyred by the right wing after he spoke in great detail about opposing the gay lifestyle…This one is sure to become the next Fountainhead.

Be sure to get the audio book version because, well, books can be hard.

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Click the image to see more.

Nothing says “I’M NOT A RACIST but…” – like a Gadsden Flag with a Confederate Flag background. The Confederate Flag, favorite of people who aren’t racist at all but love the time in American history when a white man could buy a black man. These kind of people also compare Obamacare to slavery.

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Click on the image for the flag.

You knew this one had to be coming eventually. The Unfinished Governor, Sarah Palin has a new treatise out. If you somehow missed Jeanne Devon’s amazing on-going blogging of the book “Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas” (ugh, I just read that in Palin’s twangy voice – shoot me). Again, I’d go with the audio book on this, you know for the full effect – no one wants to go half measure when it comes to Sarah Palin literature… well except for Palin.

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Click the image to hear Sarah’s reading.

No matter what, just remember what the Heritage Foundation and Sarah tells you to do…

Celebrate the Season. Screen Shot 2013-12-18 at 7.57.31 PM

Or if you wanted to inform them… you could get them Greg Palast’s new film which has a ton of footage that I took and investigative stories that I worked on. [wink, wink]

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Click on the image for the item.

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Comments
7 Responses to “Tea Party X-Mas Gifts”
  1. Zyxomma says:

    I have no one in the Tea Party demographic on my gift list, thank Goddess. I did get a (signed!) copy of the last gift on your list above, which I’ll enjoy (and be infuriated by, in the best way possible), for contributing to the Palast Investigative Fund. Happy Solstice.

  2. carol says:

    Re: Mark Begich. Heard another lying TV commercial today. Guess I’d better budget another contribution so someone can make a rebuttal commercial. If you tell a big enough lie enough times, enough people will believe it.

  3. mike from iowa says:

    “it brings out the meth in my eyes.” Belongs in the literary Hall of Fame with E Forsooth and others. :)

  4. Dagian says:

    Speaking of gifts, but this one is FROM the tea party:

    “Alaska Tea Party candidate Joe Miller back in the fight

    Joe Miller is back in the fray.

    The Tea Party Republican, who made a name for himself by beating incumbent Sen. Lisa Murkowski in Alaska’s Republican primary in 2010, now has his sights set on another Alaska challenge in 2014. This time, he’ll be trying to defeat Democratic Sen. Mark Begich.”

    What did Alaska do to deserve so much coal in its stocking? I hope he loses by a landslide, of course.

    • sierraseven says:

      Oh, can we please have a primary race between Joe the Beard and the Half-Term Harpy? Please? I promise I won’t ask for anything else all year, even on my birthday. I just want to see Joe and Sarah debate.

  5. I See Villages From My House says:

    The Unfinished Governor, I like that. It’s much better than Quittingist, Half-Term or Aborted.

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