Palin, Ducks & Free Speech
OK, so I guess I’m writing this.
I tried really hard not to, but if one more person screamed, “First Amendment!” in defense of this self proclaimed hillbilly, I think I’d cry. [Sidenote: Can I say that if you get a paycheck from the Arts and Entertainment Network, you immediately lose your 'hillbilly' creds.]
The Half Hearted Governor Sarah Palin dressed in camo, that she claims she wears ‘all’ the time went on Fox News to bloviate:
“This is all about freedom, free speech, you know, so many American families have spilled blood and treasure to guarantee Phil Robertson and everybody else’s right to voice their personal opinions and once that freedom is lost, everything is lost in our country.”
Yes Sarah, everything is lost because Duck Dynasty’s Phil doesn’t get to say brilliant things like this on A&E to millions of cornfed Americans.
Even Governor Bobby Jindal took the time to add his thoughts:
“Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV. In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views. In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended. “
[Please take a moment and realize that the statement above is from an official State of Louisiana press release. Click here if you don't believe me.]
While we all get in a tizzy about the bearded one’s (no, not Joe Miller) right to free speech, let’s remember that in no way shape or form has his free speech been stopped. The article from Gentlemen’s Quarterly (GQ) was published online, and I assume will be in print. It has been shared across the planet – at the time I write this it has 126,000 likes on Facebook, hundreds of tweets, and a couple hundred on google+ (that’s a lot for google+ guys). I will even spread the Duck Whisperer’s gospel here on TheMudflats as to make sure that we will not be accused of preventing this great Preacher of the Lord’s words from being spread.
“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”
Let it be said, let it be done.
His family defended his words on their website, again, uncensored. They were not defending him under free speech, but because his words were from the Bible. As you know Mark had long passages on the quantitative beauty of a man’s hole, vs. a woman’s.
“The family has spent much time in prayer since learning of A&E’s decision. We want you to know that first and foremost we are a family rooted in our faith in God and our belief that the Bible is His word. While some of Phil’s unfiltered comments to the reporter were coarse, his beliefs are grounded in the teachings of the Bible. “
Oddly when Phil beat a couple in Arkansas ‘badly’ enough that he had to flee the state, he never repented for that, or apologized. “I didn’t dredge anything back up. I just put it behind me.” His Bible learning is as selective, as his understanding of history.
“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field…. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”
But that’s all beside the point. Whether his insane bigoted beliefs came from the Bible or the back of a cereal box, doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the right wing doesn’t seem to understand the First Amendment. It’s like they skipped right over it to the Second.
I was discussing this ridiculous hullabaloo with a friend of mine the other night and he said something perfect.
“It depresses me that the Right still haven’t figured out that “freedom of speech” doesn’t mean insulation from consequences.”
Martin Bashir quits. Alec Baldwin gets fired. Van Jones resigns. The left gets that. For some reason the right wing doesn’t. Phil Robertson was put on leave from the show for a reason – he made the network look bad. Which is pretty tough when their line up includes shows like Rodeo Girls, Shipping Wars, Storage Wars, and Parking Wars – but he still managed to do it. Any corporation on the planet would do it. Advertisers leave Rush Limbaugh because they don’t want to be attached to his insanity – this is the free market. He signed a contract that likely had a line somewhere in it saying “I will not say things that would disparage A&E Network.” That’s why Baldwin lost his show, and the same with Bashir. Van Jones served at the pleasure of the President, until the President didn’t want him to. A&E made the right decision for their bottom line, it’s simple.
Just don’t cry for Phil. He’s still worth millions, all from tricking ducks into thinking that he wants to have sex with them.
*Please note that several of these jokes about Phil were stolen from the Shannyn Moore Show’s latest episode.