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April 23, 2014

Duck Dynasty Duplicity?

Seems like the boys of Duck Dynasty done forgot where they come from.  Usually, that means a feller’s gone and got uppity. In this case, it’s the reverse.

Before the inexplicably popular show hit the airwaves, the beard-wearing, camo-doffing, red white & blue waving hillbillies lead a life of shame that they choose to forget, but because of photography, and the internets, past sins live on in perpetuity.

Let’s take Jep. Here’s the prince of redneck reality TV in what you thought was his natural swampy habitat.

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Turns out, just one eight inch beard ago things were different.

Remove the excess facial hair, replace those rubber camouflage waders with khakis and a striped Ralph Lauren polo, and surround with a coordinated J. Crew family and BLAMMO – east coast porcelain-skinned aristocracy.

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Here he is with wife Jessica, and children Lily, Merritt, Priscilla, and River.  I did not make those up. And according to recently uncovered statements by Grandpa Phil, that one in the middle better learn to cook and remember to carry her Bible, because she’s almost marryin’ age.

Sarah Palin has supported the racist homophobic patriarch of the family, but would she support the closet ee-lete, while she herself spends so much time nurturing her own down-home fred? Check out the photos of brothers Jase and Willie HERE, and decide for yourself if they’re the “rill dill.”

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11 Responses to “Duck Dynasty Duplicity?”
  1. Lol... says:

    well they must have kicked ol whatzername to the curb…lol…love that nickname by the way…better than snowflake snookie..those southern girls probably thought “eww that smell – can’t you smell that smell- the smell of it’s around you” and went nose hunting to see if the boys left anything behind they forgot to tell them about…nope…it’s her…well it was nice to see you they say in their southern politeness…bye bye now…as they escort her out the door…then race to find the air-freshener and/or leave the area until the air clears of toxins…

  2. Alaska Liberal says:

    Anybody with that much facial hair is automatically suspect.

  3. Bonnie says:

    Phil’s little rant was nothing more then a publicity stunt…..they must have hired the Wassilla Kardashian as their publicist.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    http://conservatives4palin.com/2013/12/via-thomassschmitz-christmas-shopping-and-duckdynasty-in-west-hollywood.html

    This tool needs help with an ending to his little fable of how one conquers LGBT people in a candle shop in godless West Hollywood with a copy of Snookie’s latest e coli laced word salad. It’s Holiday season. Please feel free to help. Only takes a minute or two of your life you’ll never get back.

  5. I See Villages From My House says:

    This is no different that re-branding the Ivana Trump idolizing, leg-warmer step-aerobics Valley Girl Sarah Palin into a gal that can field-dress a moose, sport caribou blood under her nails, pick fish and slime her waders. Next thing you know, she’s a pilot and works on Todd’s sno-go repair crew.

  6. mike from iowa says:

    There is a new video out (haven’t found it,yet) where Robertson claims you need to marry girls when they are 15 or 16. I f you marry a 20 year old all she do is pick your pocket. Guess he should slide right into Dear Abby’s vacated chair and dispense advice for the lovelorn. Also heard their duck calls are made nowadays in China.

  7. Zyxomma says:

    I knew $P had “written” a book, which our beloved, stalwart Jeanne has assured us she’ll finish reviewing by the end of Christmas (Epiphany, IOW). Did you know the half-wit half-gov had also recorded it as an audiobook? Apparently, she was instructed to avoid screeching, but it’s still as awful as you imagine:

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/11/sarah-palin-war-christmas-book-good-tidings-great-joy.html

    I’ve never seen Duck Dynasty. I thought it was Duck, Die Nasty.

    • E. L. Force says:

      So-called ” reality shows” such as Quack Dynasty, Storage Phonies, Pawn Dummies and the redneck slob from LA who drops logs on his buddies’ pickup have rendered current TV fare as nearly unwatchable.

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