My Twitter Feed

October 25, 2014

Palin’s Going “Rogue” TV

palin-cpac

I know what you’re thinking when you make your daily pilgrimage to Sarah Palin’s Facebook page. You stare at your screen with a Crunch Wrap Supreme and Diet Redbull clicking “refresh” compulsively, waiting to be the first to capture the lustrous pearls of wisdom that fall like glistening acid raindrops from the unhinged jaw of the former half governor. You think to yourself, “If only I could capture this experience on video!” Seeing a picture of word salad just isn’t the same as being able to watch and listen. Printed words don’t deliver the jutting jaw, the pursed lips, that tone of voice, the waggling skeletal finger of contempt, the abandoned nest of hair.

Well, pine no more, Palinbots. This is your lucky day.

Sarah Palin will be launching her own digital video channel, tentatively called “Rogue TV,” said a source close to the project. “Think of it as a video version of her Facebook page.” Yes, think of it.

And who deserves the credit for applying the media cardiac paddles to the exhausted Palin brand?

Tapp.

Tapp? No, you haven’t missed the birth of a new male Palin child.

The channel will be available through Tapp, the digital video service founded by former CNN chief Jon Klein and former NBC Universal entertainment executive Jeff Gaspin. Subscriptions will cost $10 per month.

Rogue is expected to launch in April or May, and it would be one of the first of the digital channels offered by Tapp.

Palin’s channel will feature video commentaries from the former Republican vice-presidential candidate, discussing current events and political issues.

Also, plan to enjoy footage of Palin and her family home in Arizona Alaska. It will also feature advice and guidance from Palin, such as tips for parents and recipes. One can only imagine.

“Sure you can go camping with a boy, honey. Whatever you do, don’t forget the wine coolers!”

“This is the classic Rice Krispy treat recipe found on the side of the box. Don’t be fooled by imitations.”

There are also tentative plans to have subscribers engage in regular video chats with Palin – all for the low, low price of $10 a month. So make sure to stow away some of that folding money so you don’t have to miss a single word. The channel is tentatively scheduled to launch in April or May.

 

Comments

comments

Comments
22 Responses to “Palin’s Going “Rogue” TV”
  1. slipstream says:

    Leave Britney alone!

  2. tallimat says:

    “hi, my name is Sarah Palin and I’m going to show you how to properly fill a Big Gulp up with ice at the soda fountain. …”

  3. John says:

    Can she do that and run for governor of Arizona at the same time?

  4. mike from iowa says:

    This will take care of parts 1 and 2 of etiquette for publicity whores. To be seen-stand up. To be heard-speak up. Part 3-to be appreciated-STFU!

  5. tallimat says:

    *cough cough*

    Somebody already beat The Quitter to it.

    Tina Fey on SNL.
    Poooor Quitter.
    On a side note, The Quitter is probably hoping to cash in on viewers blinded by that show shes hosting.

    10 bucks a month?
    Why? Her Facebook crap is free.

  6. zyggy says:

    I think her new show will bring out her true colors and even make her diehard bots leave in disgust.

  7. Zyxomma says:

    “Tapp? No, you haven’t missed the birth of a new male Palin child.” That got a real giggle out of me, and I just got a call that the last remaining elder on my dad’s side of the family, his sister Dottie (Dorothy), died at 96, and I googled public transit directions to the funeral Monday. Usually, I stay indoors on St. Patrick’s Day (I live in a party neighborhood), but I’ll be home and safe before the revelry gets out of hand.

    • mike from iowa says:

      My Dad had a sister named Dorothy. She passed before I was created,so I never knew her. My condolences to you and the family. :(

  8. Monetizing narcissism? Or just a new form of grifting. It’s a shame she can’t find a real job.

  9. wallflower says:

    Well, she still has lots of admirers, so this may work. That $10 is ear-marked for coffee drinks in my home budget (I balance my home budget, why can’t the gubmint balance theirs, huh?) so I won’t be watching. Fortunately, the Mudflats is free!

  10. AKMagpie says:

    Oh Jeanne, you do have a way with words! Do you think that there will be a competing Going Rouge Channel? Perhaps with the latest turkey slaughtering innovations for a backdrop? Recipes for disaster a la Palin? Flocked red bordello wallpaper and dented refrigerator deco? The possibilities are endless, just as Palin’s gift for grifting seems to be. Alaska Pi could do the math, Mike from Iowa could add to the commentary as an unbiased fair and balanced advisor, stc.

  11. No Name says:

    It will crash and burn with all she does…
    I hear some legalities are catching up to her…
    and her coke I mean Koch Brothers…
    do it until the courts tell you that you can’t was a good goal Sarah…
    let us know how that works out for you…
    made you run like a scared elementary girl didn’t it…
    shaking and scared as you resigned the day after an email was sent…
    and not to you…so how did you get it so fast…
    or were you spying on someone my dear?

  12. juneaudream says:

    Sweet people..this is..pure gold for now all who are as equally braindead as she is..will be swept up..on whatever time frame..and the rest of the world can go out..and enjoy the fresh air..and glorious..Real world. Of course there will be those who watch..on apps and other settings..but..their facial expressions..will give them away. Please set your news scaning devices..for the first day they give birth to this. Betting there is an..uptick on those folks..walking into posts, eachother..and other dangerous options. Frustration..at a diminishing level of attention..has pushed, her/minions..into the cyber world version..of walking the local streets..at dusk. Zombie Apoco-Lips..anyone?

  13. fireweed says:

    She just won’t disappear like a good girl…

  14. mike from iowa says:

    So,the choice is a) waste $10 to see and hear Quitty squawk,or,b) die lonely and bitter? I’m going with option b.

  15. Alaska Pi says:

    OH JEEZ. It appears to be real.
    I thought it was an early April’s Fools dealie .
    Bleah.

Leave A Comment

%d bloggers like this: