Robocalls are Like a Box of Chocolates
WARNING: Contains graphic audio. Adult situations. May not be suitable for children under voting age.
Ok, so I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize, and decided to let the answering machine get it. (Yes, I still own a land line because cell phone reception at my house on the mountain is spotty at best).
Forrest Dunbar is the latest candidate to go up against the Congressman for All Alaskans Who Voted for Him, since 1973 – the walrus penis bone gaveling, beanie propeller wearing, fed hating, EPA waffle stomper nemesis, Don Young.
After the robocall was over, I wasn’t quite sure what had just happened.
“Hello this is Forrest Dunbar, and I’m a candidate for United States Congress.
I’m sorry about the robocall, but I’m a little tied up right now wrestling this Kodiak… BEAR! (bear growl)
I’ts good practice for fighting on Alaska’s behalf in DC. (bear growl)
Of course first (inaudible) to our current congressman. (cougar noise?)
Please learn more about our campaign at ForrestForAlaska.com
That’s Forrest like my first name with two R’s.
Thank you so much.
Sorry again about the robocall, and God bless.”
There was one spot in the message that was inaudible, and I don’t know why there is a cougar noise, if that’s what it is. Whatever the creature, the head of one of its brethren is probably mounted on the wall in Don Young’s DC office. But if the goal of the campaign was to make people pay attention to a robocall, then congratulations.
And it did make me go to his website where I learned that Dunbar is from Eagle, commercial fished out of Cordova, went to The Kennedy School at Harvard, and Yale Law, and that caribou is his favorite kind of meat.
Run Forrest, run.