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January 24, 2017

Click Bishop Takes a Page from Palin – Reads Dr. Seuss

ClickBishop-DrSeussRepublican Senator Click Bishop, whose district covers land from Fairbanks to Valdez took a page from Sarah Palin and read a story by Dr. Seuss to the Alaska State Senate. Well, it wasn’t quite a Dr. Seuss original – more of a revision of Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham seen through the filter of government overreach.

Unlike Half-Term Palin’s teleprompter read at CPAC last year (when she held the book as a prop), Click seems to have actually written the words down in a copy of Green Eggs and Ham. I’m hoping that he bought a new copy and didn’t ruin one of from his grandkids.

Click was not taking part in a filibuster, like Sen. Ted Cruz was when he also read Green Eggs and Ham in the US Senate, but the distinguished State Senator from Fairbanks also read the entire book into the record, taking up several minutes of time. The video, below, was posted to the Alaska Senate Majority Youtube page earlier today, clearly they are quite proud of this.

Let’s take a moment and look over some of Bard Bishop’s words.

He starts with a simple name switch from the original. Easy, keeping it simple.

I am Click, Click I am

THEN – wham – he shocks us with a switch of the original “green eggs and ham.”

I do not like this federal plan

Sly, move there Click. Making it political – Charlie Hebdo would be proud. Je suis Clique.

Do I like to hunt and fish and put my moose meat in a dish?

Ok, I get that dish rhymes with fish and plate doesn’t but – If you’re serving up some hate, then you put it on a plate.

Your NPS they’re on a tear. They’re in my camp, they’re on my boat.
And they point their tazers at my throat.

Ok, ok… we’re getting a bit over the top here but it’s parody. I’ll allow it.

Could you, would you let us drill, we have the folks, and they have the skill
We have the oil underground, and we’ll leave it nicer than we found.

Hmm. How many oil wells are currently drilled with no oil company operating them? Wasn’t that one of the points of SB21? Also, I’m not sure that the the fishermen and women of Prince William Sound would agree that it’s “nicer” now.

Would you, could you, just one time
let Alaska’s miners mine.

Well, if you’re talking about Pebble Mine, polling shows that 60% of Alaskans (not just environmentalists) don’t want the mine. But other than that – mining is happening in Alaska. Metal mining alone is 7% of the states GDP and just look at this map – it’s happening all over the state.

Could you would you if you please, let us drill in the Chuckchi Sea?
Could you let us please explore that vast potential just off shore.

Click, please check out the recent NY Times article on Shell’s attempt. If that doesn’t make you worrisome then I’m not sure what will. And FYI for Alaskans, offshore drilling doesn’t benefit your PFD. We assume all the risk and get none of the benefit.

Just one more thing before you go, there’s something Uncle you should know.
The line’s been crossed, we’ve had enough, You shouldn’t really call our bluff.

Cuz we Alaskans might seem sweet. But chances are we’re packing heat.

Hasn’t your district already had enough problems with people threatening Federal law enforcement officers? Isn’t a Mr. Schaeffer Cox and his contingent former residents of the Interior?


Here is the full transcript from the video written up by TheMudflats (before I noticed that there was one in the youtube description). Please note that at the end of it there was several other members of the Senate banging desks in agreement. So this is what our State Senate has become, a children’s nursery. We’ve got 2 years of this folks – next time around let’s hope that some adults actually vote. 

I am Click, Click I am.
I do not like this federal plan.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
Do I like to hunt and fish, and put my moose meat in a dish?
I do, I like my wild game.
And I like my fish from where it came.
I do not like you in my hair (brushes hand over is balding head)
Your NPS they’re on a tear.

They’re in my camp, they’re on my boat,
And they point their tazers at my throat.
I do not like this federal plan, I do not like it Uncle Sam.
I do not like your crazy rules, like those proposed by Sally Jewell
I do not like them here, there,

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not want them near or far, I do not want them Sally Jewell or Salazar
Could you would you let us drill, we have the folks, and they have the skill.
We have the oil underground, and we’ll leave it nicer than we found.
I do not like your EPA, they’ve run amok and they’re in the way.
I do not like this federal plan, I do not like it Uncle Sam
Would you, could you, just one time
let Alaska’s miners mine.
They bust their buts through thick and thin
And then you send a SWAT team in.
Could you would you if you please, let us drill in the Chuckchi Sea?
Could you let us please explore that vast potential just off shore.
You couldn’t, wouldn’t on a bet. Let us get those drill rigs wet.
You bow to Greenies, these are facts, environmental east coast wacks(?) <—–Did Don Young write this?
Would you could you on a plane? Would you could you on a train?
Would you could you pack your crap, and hit the road and don’t look back.
Just one more thing before you go, there’s something Uncle you should know.
The line’s been crossed, we’ve had enough you shouldn’t really call our bluff.
Cuz we Alaskans might seen sweet. But chances are we’re packing heat.

Thank you [smattering of chuckles and pounding of tables]

I believe we can fight this Federal overreach, and win… and protect Alaska’s rights, our state’s rights to explore and develop our resources for all Alaskans and do it in a manner that respects all Alaskans.

Here’s Sarah’s take.

Comments

comments

Comments
10 Responses to “Click Bishop Takes a Page from Palin – Reads Dr. Seuss”
  1. Mike D says:

    The purpose of this was what? To earn chuckles and yucks of approval for a juvenile attempt to be clever? Because stuff like this appeals to a certain segment of Alaskan voters?

    Is this a productive use of Alaskan monies; a productive use of legislative time?

    I expect a hell of a lot more of my elected officials than juvenile buffoonery.

  2. Really? says:

    Thank you Zach. “Has’nt your district already had enough problems with people threatening Federal law
    enforcement officers? Is’nt a Mr. Shaeffer Cox and his contingent former residents of the
    Interior?”
    Unfortunately click bishop was elected to represent the district I live in.

  3. AlaskaCodPiece says:

    What an embarrassment.

    How many hours did Click the Dick spend on composing this feeble attempt at political parody — instead of getting down to business in Juneau?! In doing so, he managed to offend thousands of Alaskans.

    At a time when Alaska is facing a fiscal cliff, Click needs to be paying attention to policy, not “poetry.”

    • Really? says:

      AlaskaCodPiece, “What an embarrassment” is right. He is setting the stage for what to look forward
      to.
      I’m looking forward to being one of the thousands of Alaskans he offended, who will be
      emailing
      a response. Unfortunately, he is the senator elected to represent the district I live in.

  4. Krubozumo Nyankoye says:

    Splendid, now our elected representatives are lecturing us with witless parodies of childrens rhymes..I am
    impressed, impressed that these supposedly functional adults are really that stupid but I guess diving to the bottom of the barrell in political rhetoric takes a density surpassing that of lead.

    I must admit that I have a difficult time understanding why so many people do not see the peril that confronts our “civilization”. It just isn’t that subtle or esoteric. To address the grave issues that will ultimately, and perhaps much earlier than we think, affect us all, mostly in unpleasant or downright dangerous ways in such a juvenial manner almost implies a mental state of utter panic. Not quite formless jibbering. That domain is already owned by no less than a quasi-politician of such exceptional ignorance that there is no comparison.

    It must also be asked what kind of an example are we setting and what are we teaching those who will find themselves confronting these issues a few years hence? That the way to react to bugeoning crisis
    is to lapse into childish denial?

    I really have no particular animus against the people who accept this propgaganda as real information.
    They have been fooled, mislead, lied to. And they have not been inculcated with a strong desire to winkle
    out a little truth . They are not lazy, just overwhelmed.

    How sad and dismal! All the vast accomplishements of human intellect, ingenuity and creativity, stymied by the greed of a few people. Locked into a process of self destruction. Burning fossil carbon. Acidifying the oceans and thereby killing the myriad phytoplankton who produce most of the free oxygen which we breathe..

    • mike from iowa says:

      Welcome back again,KN, in a symbollic vote(done for political cover) US Sinators voted 98-1 that climate change is real and not a hoax. Even the most ardent deniers voted for the resolution to cover their asses.

      As for using children’s books to get their message out,they are spoiled,petulant little brats and one should not expect more from them. But,then you say it much more eloquently than I. Happy as heck to have you back,at least for today.

  5. Joe Anonmous says:

    Just goes to show you that Fairbanks can be just as ignorant when electing legislators as the Valley was with Palin. Bishop, Kelly, Thompson a right wing trifecta for the Interior. A big fail for Click!

  6. Zyxomma says:

    Not amused.

  7. mike from iowa says:

    >-))))-D >-))))))))))-D

    The ghosts of Prince William Sound don’t appreciate your attempts at humor,shit head wingnuts. Ain’t a one of them laughing.

    >—-))))))))-D

    >-)))))))))))))))))-D

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