My Twitter Feed

October 26, 2014

Obama!

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Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…

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Alaska Women, Time to Decide

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My social media feeds are stuffed with my fellow Alaskans sick to death of political ads end-to-end on their televisions, and even the staunchest pro-deforestation people are wondering if we’ll have any trees left after they’ve checked their mailboxes. I get emails from people asking, “Is that true?” about something they’ve seen or read. Here’s the kicker. Political ads, per a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court, don’t have to be true. I KNOW! You have to swear on a Bible when you’re elected, but up until that point all bets are off. Did you know Mark Begich hates puppies?…

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Sullivan Goes ‘Fog of War,’ Then Flees

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Looks like our Republican “Alaskan” Senate candidate has been watching The Fog of War, and taking a little advice from former Secretary of Defense Robert MacNamara. “Never answer the question that is asked of you. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you.” Savvy advice when one’s actual answer might be harmful to one’s political prospects. The question asked of the candidate by KTUU’s Grace Jang was pretty straightforward: “How much backing are you getting from the Koch brothers?” One would expect, perhaps, a numerical answer of some kind, like “millions of dollars.” Percentages maybe. Or a…

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Ohio Dan Gets Cocky, Goes to Ohio

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There’s nothing like a couple polls giving you a slight edge in an Alaskan political race, to make the inexperienced Alaska politician feel a little cocky. U.S. Senate candidate Dan Sullivan has spend the entire election cycle so far dodging accusations he’s a carpetbagger from Ohio, who moved to Alaska for a Senate seat which will be purchased for him by the Koch brothers, and his wealthy family and friends in the Buckeye state. Sullivan turned up Sunday as the dreaded “empty chair” at a candidate forum that was attended by incumbent Senator Mark Begich, and Libertarian candidate Mark Fish. That’s two marks…

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Carpetbagger Flees Fish

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I’m guessing that Dan Sullivan was the kind of kid who “stayed home sick” when he forgot to study for a test. Because he just did that. He declined to attend the candidate debate on fisheries in Kodiak. That’s like declining to attend your phD dissertation, or declining to attend your wedding rehearsal dinner, or a Presidential candidate declining to attend the foreign policy debate. It isn’t done. The reason that isn’t done is because this is a candidate’s opportunity to prove he or she is credible. If you’re running for Senate,  this is your big chance to prove that even…

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What Could Go Wrong? This.

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There’s a game most of us play. It’s called “What Could Go Wrong?!” You know, like I’m going to hand my nine year old an automatic weapon – “What Could Go Wrong?!” Or, why not go bare-headed and drive a motorcycle really fast? “What Could Go Wrong?!” Then there is the always present, Why don’t we build a giant mine at the headwaters of the largest sockeye salmon fishing run in the entire world? “What Could Go Wrong?” Many Alaskans have asked this question over the last decade regarding the proposed Pebble Mine in Bristol Bay. When the state government…

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Big Brother Feels Bad. Really.

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Remember 1984? The book, not the year. You probably read it in high school. It’s a dystopian novel, published in 1949, that takes place in a world of perpetual manufactured war, state sponsored torture, omnipresent and intrusive government surveillance, and propaganda posing as news, all controlled by an elite and privileged “Inner Party” bent on squashing independent thinking and dissent in order to keep itself in power. The whole shebang is controlled by a powerful, merciless entity called “Big Brother,” who may or may not be just one person. No really, it’s just a novel. The hero of the story,…

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Sullivan – The Deadliest Fail, Homer Edition

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It’s almost become a sport now – like shooting fish in a barrel. In the primary debates, and now as we head into the general election, there is a new kind of question being presented to Senate candidates.  It falls under the genre “How Alaskan are You?” In the primary debate between Mead Treadwell (the most Alaskan), Joe Miller (the next most Alaskan) and Dan Sullivan (the DC beltway guy from Ohio for whom these questions are intended) there were questions like: Have you eaten salmon this week? Have you ever been to Koyuk? Kipnuk? Kake? Will you retire in…

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Wannabe for AK Senate Shoots Stuff

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A DC operative from the Cleveland metro area, whose candidacy is responsible for gazillions of dollars worth of outside negative campaign ads flooding Alaska’s airwaves, is a little miffed that his opponent’s candidacy will also result in gazilions of dollars worth of negative campaign ads flooding Alaska’s airwaves. Now that the GOP establishment Senate candidate, Dan Sullivan, has dispatched with Tea Party candidate Joe Miller, and Alaska’s milquetoast Lt. Governor Mead Treadwell in the primary, he’s decided that anyone using Outside money to talk smack about his own candidacy is unacceptable. Because he doesn’t like that, and it makes him…

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Primary Post Mortem

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Alaska’s primary election night is over, but the election itself is not quite done. About 14,000 absentee ballots remain to be counted, and the final results will not be known for days. That said, it will be a tough hill to climb for the passage of Ballot Measure 1, which would reinstate the ACES oil tax system put in place by former Governor Sarah Palin and a bipartisan coalition in the Alaska legislature. Sean Parnell, former ConocoPhillips lawyer and lobbyist, and Palin’s former Lt. Governor dismantled ACES with Senate Bill 21 which would give billions from Alaska’s treasury to the…

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