Gasline Secrets as Parnell Exits
Alaskans know about airplanes and flying. No other state’s residents fly as much as we do. So we know every plane really ought to have two wings. Same with birds. There are no halibut-style birds, with two wings on one side of their bodies. I find government works best with matching wings, one on the left, one on the right. For the last few years, we’ve been trying to fly the Spirit of Alaska with two right wings. As a result, our captain, co-pilot and the rest of the crew never really got us off the ground. They didn’t kill…
Begich and Parnell Concede
Mark Begich has officially called to congratulate Dan Sullivan on winning the senate race. I’m thinking maybe a constitutional challenge is in order now that Ohio has three senators. Alaskans didn’t used to fall for the carpetbagger who moved here just for a senate seat. But the times they are a-changing. The following statement was released by Begich, after calling Sullivan today. “Alaska is a place unmatched by any other, and the opportunity to represent Alaskans and all of Alaska’s communities in the U.S. Senate has been a tremendous honor for which I am eternally grateful. Alaska deserves a bright…
AP Calls Senate Race for Sullivan, but…
The Associated Press last night called the Alaska Senate race for Republican Dan Sullivan. So, is it over? Well, not quite yet. There are still more than 20,000 votes to count, and overseas ballots still have almost a week to arrive. There are votes yet to come in from villages in which Mark Begich expects a high level of support. The campaign released the following statement even as Begich is back in D.C. for his probable but not definite lame duck months. A statement by a campaign structure that has seen their candidate win several elections by the slimmest of margins…
Alaska… You Crazy! Election Recap
On election night, one state in the nation voted to legalize marijuana, raise the minimum wage, and add an extra level of environmental protection for sensitive ecosystems facing development. It’s largest city also voted to overturn an anti-labor ordinance which was the brain child of a Mayor (running as a Republican for Lt. Governor) who appears to be about to go down in flames to a non-partisan gubernatorial ticket. That’s like a cool, edgy progressive place to live, right? What if I told you that this very same state has elected by a comfortable margin, a majority in the legislature…
Notes from Election Central
Here we go again! 8:30 – No numbers yet. Sitting in a sweet spot with lots of plug-ins and within earshot of the table belonging to Ethan Berkowitz and the Party Planner who are interviewing talk bloviator Dave Stieren who is loudly and intently talking about Mark BAGitch (learn the name!) “Every election is about the next election,” he drops the pearls of wisdom on the floor for us to scramble after. Now something about Joe Miller, and the Democrats sending out flyers for Mark Fish the Libertarian candidate, hoping to split the Republican vote. The Party Planner nods in…
Someone Doesn’t Like Us & We’re Cool With That
Alaska’s premier morality cop Jim Minnery of Alaska Family Action doesn’t like us very much. Nor does he like the Alaska Constitution, apparently. When he’s not busy obsessing about what women do with their constitutional rights and their personal medical decisions, he’s busy obsessing about who is fornicating with and marrying whom. The continual ruminations about what other people are doing with their private parts must be exhausting. Republican Gov. Sean Parnell is lagging in the polls. You remember him, right? He’s the one who rejected additional funds for Denali Kid Care (SCHIP), to provide medical care to low-income pregnant women and children because… it might…
Nate Silver Calls It For Walker-Mallott
…in a squeaker. The 538 electoral modeling math nerd king was the undisputed champion of the 2012 cycle, correctly predicting 49 of 50 states (and only missing Indiana by 0.1%) While much national punditry is focused on the battle for the US Senate, last night Silver released his model for the 2014 gubernatorial cycle. Projecting Walker-Mallott ahead by a narrow 0.8 percent, Silver gives the Unity Ticket a 56% chance of winning the race. For Mudflatters around the Lower 48, Silver’s model is a mixed bag. Democrats are projected to flip the governorships of Maine, Florida, Kansas and Pennsylvania into…
Obama!
Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…
Haters Sad. Don’t Understand Government.
Local purveyor of gay and uterine control, Jim Minnery of the Alaska Family Council, has taken to the emails again to vent his sadness and outrage about how the government works. “Like a good soldier, Alaska District Court Judge Tim Burgess, fell right in line with the rest of the activist courts across the country and ruled yesterday that Article 1 Section 25 of our State Constitution defining marriage as a union between one man and one woman was unconstitutional.” That’s right. That George W. Bush appointee, Tim Burgess, is a gay activist… just like every single other court that…
Parnell Ignored Guard Sexual Assaults
By J. Pastrick As a U.S. Army National Guard veteran, I’ve watched with dismay as Gov. Sean Parnell’s administration ignored reports of unpunished sexual assault in the National Guard. The stories sounded all too familiar. When I was in the Alaska National Guard, sexual harassment was all too common. As the only female recruiter in the Alaska Army National Guard, I was subjected to harassment by my immediate supervisor and two male recruiters to the point where it was intolerable. I reported sexual harassment, and a subsequent investigation confirmed it. However, the harassment did not stop. The “good ol’ boy”…