Alaskans Call Out Bully Governor
About 80 people gathered in the spirit of righteous indignation today outside the Anchorage office of Governor Sean Parnell. Protesters called on Parnell to drop the administrations campaign to recoup legal fees from a lawsuit involving the proposed Pebble Mine project in Bristol Bay. He’s demanding a million dollars from 88-year old Vic Fischer, an original framer of the Alaska Constitution, and 80-year old former First Lady of Alaska, and others. The stalwart bunch fought the state and sued unsuccessfully for the public’s right to know about exploration work at the mine site. And if you’re wondering about the answer…
Parnell Tells Jewell, “Call my people.”
Alaska Governor Sean Parnell has earned himself a reputation for not being very assertive, a bit of a pushover if you will. Typically, this criticism comes from the governor’s own party. Even Alaska’s lone Congressman has referred to him as a “zero” on more than one occasion. That, coupled with the fact that it is totally en vogue to bash every facet of the federal government, might explain Governor Parnell’s latest bout of nastygrams sent to federal agencies. Last week, the day prior to the end of the federal government shutdown, Governor Parnell sent Interior Secretary Sally Jewell a letter. The…
Torches and Pitchforks for Parnell
There are certain times when a government crosses a line, and there’s really no other way to adequately express one’s feelings about it than by deploying torches and pitchforks. The glinting of the tines in the firelight, the surging of the crowd, the bellowing of moral outrage… Ahhh. There’s really nothing like it to get the ol’ blood pumping. Well, I guess there is another way, but I’m reasonably sure it’s illegal, and though it might be satisfying the irony of retaliating against a bully by tarring and feathering him could not be overlooked, and might garner said bully some…
Parnell Targets Former First Lady
Obama is a socialist. Health care is communism. Closed parks are fascism. It’s weird the way words and labels get thrown around these days. Apparently dictionaries are one of the things some people no longer believe in. Here’s a word that doesn’t get thrown around but should: corporatocracy. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “a society or system that is governed or controlled by corporations.” I joke about living in a resource colony but it isn’t actually funny. When the Corrupt Bastards Club was running the Legislature, then-Gov. Frank Murkowski asked them to effectively strip Alaskans of the right to…
Parnell Gets Fish Slapped
When one grapples for a visual allegory of what happened to the Parnell administration this week, it’s hard to think of anything more appropriate than this: That’s Sean Parnell on the right, and the Anchorage Superior Court on the left. The Superior Court ruled that the constitutional rights of Alaskans have been violated by the current administration when Parnell & Co. refused to process a four-year-old application to reserve water in the Chuitna River watershed for wild salmon. “Today’s ruling is a victory for every Alaskan who wants to protect wild salmon and the Alaskan way of life,” said Ron…
Negotiating With Healthcare Terrorists
We’re just a few days from launch for critical portions of the Affordable Healthcare Act. Republicans in Washington, D.C., are so freaked out they’ve taken the economy hostage and threatened to shoot it. Conservatives with “support the troops” on their car bumpers have no problem cutting off paychecks to soldiers in a doomed bid to “protect” Americans from affordable health care. I’ll bet the list of things they want before they’ll agree to pay the nation’s debts was made by cutting words out of magazines and pasting them on a piece of paper. In case I’m being too subtle, this…
Alaska Defends Abuse of First Alaskans
I read a story in the Daily News last week and felt sick. A tribe found a non-tribal man unfit to parent a child from the tribe. The man then proved their judgment sound when he kidnapped the child’s mother and almost beat her to death. The Parnell administration has now swooped in, four years later, to defend the abuser. Why now? Why this guy? Why are state resources going to defend a convicted wife-beater? I realize Michael Geraghty, the state’s attorney general, doesn’t want to explain these decisions to “lay people” like you and me. That’s unfortunate because we…
Inconvenient Private Sector Jobs
Time to don your rain ponchos, because Republican heads are going to be exploding across the state. This is one of those times when philosophy and reality are on opposite sides, and the confused elephant brains of the majority of the GOP in Alaska are going to have to out themselves, or change sides. Ah, another inconvenient truth. ” Ready? Guess what industry is the largest private sector employer in the State of Alaska? Oil? <<<HOCKEY BUZZER NOISE>>> Mining? <<<REPEAT ABOVE>>> Nope, it’s fish. A recent report issued from the McDowell Group for the Alaska Seafood Marketing Institute reveals: The…
Do Alaskans Like Fish More than Pot?
Me: Hey, Alaska! Alaska: WHAT? We’re busy fishing. Me: Just a couple quick questions… you can keep your line in the water. Alaska: Make it fast, the silvers are running. I don’t want to get distracted. Me: Would you rather have more money in the coffers of the state, or make sure you always have fish? Alaska: Fish. Me: Would you rather have people earning more money and boosting the economy, or make sure people can earn a living fishing. Alaska: Fishing. Me: Would you rather smoke pot, or salmon? Alaska: I can’t do both? Me: No. Alaska: OK, salmon….
Salmon: Feel the Love, Have the Party
I fell completely in love with an ad campaign. I know. Between the halibut haters at Domino’s and “The Salmon Project,” I should have whiplash. The campaign is brilliant. It’s got a fantastic kiss mark with a salmon in it! If I were a tattoo girl, that would be my pick. It’s genius. Salmon is more than something on a plate — it’s a lifestyle. I first noticed all this when I stopped to get supplies at the Seward Safeway on the way to my very own salmon project: Operation “Acrobatic Coho!” (Mission accomplished. Thanks for asking!) Even if…