The Your-State-Is-Small Generator
Dear everyone Outside, You’re small. Yes, I’m talkin’ to you too, Texans. You may be tired of hearing Alaskans talk about how big Alaska is, and how awesome our seafood is, and how gorgeous our sweeping mountain vistas are. And how we have more coastline than the rest of the country, and 3 million lakes, and spectacular wildlife, and aurora borealis. But be kind to us and let us have our due. Remember that our political leadership is taking us back to the dark ages, and we have no public transportation to speak of, and we’re a minimum of a…
VW Takes Road Trip to Fake Fairbanks
It’s 1:43am, and a supermodelish woman in full makeup stretches, and slinks out of bed in her body-skimming, white camisole. She of the perfectly tweezed eyebrows and coral glossed lips goes to the window and parts the diaphanous curtains. Her beau, with no facial hair awaits her on the street in his convertible VW Beetle. He beckons to her. She playfully shushes him. It’s time for a drive… They ride, top down in the sunlight, through pristine streets, passing a snoozing cop in a display window, an empty café, and stop to laugh with childlike joy at a reindeer standing…
Smitten Moose Falls for Same-Sex Statue
This may not be safe for work. Honestly, we just don’t know. In Anchorage this week, new moose mamas are emerging into the open with their tiny calves, barely two weeks old. It’s an adorable sight to see, and the whole neighborhood is awash in motherly love. But moose love of a different sort is on full display in Grand Lake, Colorado. It involves one moose who’s quite… how shall we say… “gregarious,” and the other who’s more of the strong, silent type. It’s a notable courtship for several reasons, and proves that true love will not be denied. 1)…
Day 9 – The Puker Returns
I knew I’d forget one. I made a list of springtime indicators on yesterday’s post, and sure enough, I got a reminder. It’s not quite like robins, or bunnies, or adorable woodland creatures, but it probably involves one or more of them. I am speaking, of course, of the dog finding some half-frozen rotting carcass (aka yummy treat) melting out of the snow pack. A few years ago, she came home with a frozen-solid rabbit spine with two appendages still attached, so it looked like a big fuzzy “Y”. They say that insanity is repeating the same thing over and…
Alaska Politicians Uncovered!
If you are a person of symbology, a political mystic, or for any reason believe that anagrams have any kind of hidden meaning, then get out your crystal ball, light a bundle of sage, and wrap your head around these startling divinations. I took it upon myself to use a handy online anagram generator (or two) to share with you the deeper, sometimes darker, and often creepily accurate dimension of (echoey deep voice—->) THE POLITICAL ANAGRAM. Let’s begin with the executive branch: Governor Sean R Parnell = Plane Snarler. Hmmm… I thought that was Sen. Lesil McGuire! Lt….
What Febreze is Not Telling You
Febreeze, the product whose mission is to remove offensive odors from air and fabric, offers its products in a variety of sensual and indulgent fragrances like Sweet Citrus & Zest, Mediterranean Lavender, and Apple Spice & Comfort. Mmmmm. And now, there’s a new offering to delight your sniffer. “Alaskan Springtime” probably sounded good in some marketing meeting in a conference room at Proctor & Gamble headquarters in Cincinnati. “Alaska… That’s clean and refreshing, right? Slap a picture of an Alpine dogwood on that can, and we’re good to go.” Voilà – “Alaskan Springtime,” or if you’re fancy, or Canadian, “Printemps…
Repeat after me. “North Dakota!”
Alaska Robotics created a couple minutes of awesome when they interviewed Governor Sean Parnell about his oil tax plan. Who’s that shadowy figure behind Flat Sean, and what the heck happened to his jaw?
Troll of the Week!
What used to be The Troll of the Week has become more of the Occasional Once-in-a-while Troll. The trolls we’ve been seeing around the Mudflats lately have been of the Common Troll variety. We’ve done a pretty good job over the years with troll-control, and have rid the flats of the most pernicious pests. So, generally, I’ll hear some little scuffling about in the back room, find a little troll, grab him by the ankles, and unceremoniously fling him out the mudroom door. They make a graceful arc, accompanied by a bit of a burbling scream that sounds something like…
22 Seconds of Awesome
“Dance like nobody’s watching,” they said… (Shot earlier today on a Midwestern street corner, courtesy of a lunch-bound MudPup and his iPhone.) You’re welcome.