My Twitter Feed

June 26, 2017

President Trump Wants Palin in Cabinet

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I’d like Sarah Palin to be in a cabinet too – preferably one that is soundproof. But, we don’t always get what we want. Loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Donald Trump is running for office. And he’d love to have loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Sarah Palin in his cabinet in the unlikely event he is elected President of the United States. When you think about it, it’s really amazing these two haven’t connected long before now. I mean, ok, there was that awkward first date where they both ate…

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Alaska Lemming Caucus Over the Edge

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This has been a difficult week for many Alaskans. So much uncertainty as 10,000 pink slips go to our friends and neighbors working for the state. Fairbanks Sen. Pete Kelly argues they aren’t pink slips, because there’s an “if” in them, as in “You’re not laid off if a handful of senators get their poop together.” Of course, we know there’s no chance Pete and his collaborators will get their poop together. Instead of pink slips, people online are calling them “Pete slips.” Our current legislative crisis is the handiwork of a small cabal of senators who refuse to compromise their misguided ideology. The…

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Palin Outraged Clinton Pulled a Palin

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Sarah Palin, whom shame and decency dictate should be hiding out somewhere in the back of a dark deep cave with a bag over her head this week, is instead standing on the tippy top of Mt. Hypocrisy with a giant bullhorn yelling, “Look at me!” Should any of us be surprised? No. Was I still a little surprised? A little. Apparently the thought of raking Hillary Clinton (whom Palin thanked in 2008 for putting “16 million cracks in the glass ceiling”) over the political coals was just too tempting, just too enticing to put in check her own conscience, or…

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Alaska… You Crazy! Election Recap

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On election night, one state in the nation voted to legalize marijuana, raise the minimum wage, and add an extra level of environmental protection for sensitive ecosystems facing development. It’s largest city also voted to overturn an anti-labor ordinance which was the brain child of a Mayor (running as a Republican for Lt. Governor) who appears to be about to go down in flames to a non-partisan gubernatorial ticket. That’s like a cool, edgy progressive place to live, right? What if I told you that this very same state has elected by a comfortable margin, a majority in the legislature…

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We Must Retire Don Young, and Here’s Why

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I was about 10 when I heard a sermon I will never forget. The speaker that day drew a few gasps from the congregation of the Homer Christian Church when he disagreed with a passage from the Bible. He quoted from 1 Corinthians, Ch. 13, the passage you often hear at weddings: “Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is love.” “That’s not true,” he said. “The greatest of these is hope.” He explained that his father had committed suicide. There was no shortage of love in their family. His father had simply lost hope that the pain of…

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Young Insolent to Students – Suicide, Gay Sex & more

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Alaska’s lone congressman, Don Young, spoke to a group of students at Wasilla High School Tuesday. If that sentence alone made you wince, then congratulations. It shows you’ve been paying attention to the rapidly crazying octogenarian who represents all Alaskans in the halls of Washington D.C. Earlier this month, Young barked at his Democratic opponent after a touch on the arm, “Don’t ever touch me! The last guy who touched me wound up on the ground, dead!” This time it’s insensitive remarks about suicide, berating friends of the victim, and comparing Alaska’s newly legal same-sex marriage to bull fornication. And…

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Ohio Dan Gets Cocky, Goes to Ohio

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There’s nothing like a couple polls giving you a slight edge in an Alaskan political race, to make the inexperienced Alaska politician feel a little cocky. U.S. Senate candidate Dan Sullivan has spend the entire election cycle so far dodging accusations he’s a carpetbagger from Ohio, who moved to Alaska for a Senate seat which will be purchased for him by the Koch brothers, and his wealthy family and friends in the Buckeye state. Sullivan turned up Sunday as the dreaded “empty chair” at a candidate forum that was attended by incumbent Senator Mark Begich, and Libertarian candidate Mark Fish. That’s two marks…

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Carpetbagger Flees Fish

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I’m guessing that Dan Sullivan was the kind of kid who “stayed home sick” when he forgot to study for a test. Because he just did that. He declined to attend the candidate debate on fisheries in Kodiak. That’s like declining to attend your phD dissertation, or declining to attend your wedding rehearsal dinner, or a Presidential candidate declining to attend the foreign policy debate. It isn’t done. The reason that isn’t done is because this is a candidate’s opportunity to prove he or she is credible. If you’re running for Senate,  this is your big chance to prove that even…

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Sullivan – The Deadliest Fail, Homer Edition

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It’s almost become a sport now – like shooting fish in a barrel. In the primary debates, and now as we head into the general election, there is a new kind of question being presented to Senate candidates.  It falls under the genre “How Alaskan are You?” In the primary debate between Mead Treadwell (the most Alaskan), Joe Miller (the next most Alaskan) and Dan Sullivan (the DC beltway guy from Ohio for whom these questions are intended) there were questions like: Have you eaten salmon this week? Have you ever been to Koyuk? Kipnuk? Kake? Will you retire in…

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Little Slice of Happy

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You’re afraid to even look at the news right now, because assorted horrors from around the globe are all competing for ghastly headlines. So you have to take your happiness, and restore your faith in humanity, wherever you can. Which brings us to the fine, civic-minded residents of Williamson County, Tennessee, near Nashville. It seems former SNL cast member, homophobic Tea Party activist, and batshit insane person Victoria Jackson offered to supply the locals with what would undoubtedly have been some top-notch statecraft on their county commission. Weirdly, the voters declined her generous offer last night. Judy Lynch Herbert: 1,422…

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