TALLZ UNITE!*
*unless they don’t Today, Donald Trump and whatever remains of his organization issued a proclamation/extortion notice to his BF(maybe forever) Governor Mike Dunleavy. He will completely and totally endorse Gov. Mike Dunleavy’s reelection campaign! Why? Because, the Florida retiree says, he’s a strong conservative. He hearts the Constitution, “including the second and tenth Amendments.” He says Alaska needs Mike Dunleavy “now more than ever” which has earned the Tall One his “Complete and Total Endorsement [sic].” UNLESS Dunleavy endorses Lisa Murkowski. That’s right. Even though Trump proudly endorsed Governor from Wasilla 2.0 the first time and thinks he’s done a…
McConnell/Trump Alaska Cage Match
Alaska Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski has declared that she’ll be running for a fourth term. She has alternately been a thorn in the side of Donald Trump, a thorn in the side of Democrats, a thorn in the side of women, and a thorn in the side of almost every stripe of Alaskan there is, at one time or another. Her “concern” about divisive issues has become a running joke. Nobody feels as “troubled” as Lisa Murkowski before she votes the wrong way, and nobody is as proud as Lisa when she makes a “tough vote” that didn’t matter. She…
Anti-masking Alaska Senator Banished from Capitol. Maybe.
Welcome to the theater of the absurd. If you’re getting tired of watching Alaska Senator Lora Reinbold’s middle school “you’re not the boss of me” antics, you’re not alone. Even her fellow Republican Senators have had enough – and they’re the ones who thought she’d be just swell as part of their “Caucus of Equals,” and installed her as the chair of the powerful Judiciary Committee. Because what could possibly go wrong? Should we still be talking about this? No. Does Sen. Reinbold (R-Eagle River) make that impossible? Yes. Since the CDC-compliant mask mandate went into place at the Capitol, Reinbold has been wearing…
Oh no they didn’t… the week in gaffes, goofs and OMGs
TALL TALES from Juneau Eyes on the Babcock/Arduin/Dunleavy administration Oh yes, they DID. It’s been a week of face-palm inducing, cringe-worthy, jaw-dropping gaffes and goofs in Juneau and beyond. It’s hard to know where to begin. So, we may as well start with the “beyond Juneau” part. SEN. DAN SULLIVAN The Senate Armed Services Committee recently questioned top generals on President Trump’s “national emergency” declaration along the U.S.-Mexico border. Sen. Dan Sullivan was unsurprisingly supportive of the national emergency. To justify this support, he asked U.S. Northern Command General Terrence O’Shaughnessy how many Americans were killed by opioid…
President Trump Wants Palin in Cabinet
I’d like Sarah Palin to be in a cabinet too – preferably one that is soundproof. But, we don’t always get what we want. Loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Donald Trump is running for office. And he’d love to have loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Sarah Palin in his cabinet in the unlikely event he is elected President of the United States. When you think about it, it’s really amazing these two haven’t connected long before now. I mean, ok, there was that awkward first date where they both ate…
Coffey Spilled the Beans Long Ago
Anchorage mayoral candidate Dan Coffey has a problem — a big problem. I’m not sure if it’s a medical issue that has affected his memory of events over the last decade or so, or if it’s just way easier for him to pretend some of the things he’s done or said didn’t happen. Shall we climb into the not-so-way-back machine? Oh, it was an exciting time, and I was in the middle of it. We’re only going back to 2008 — for now. There was this wonderful character named Alan Tesche. He was an assemblyman and used to get on…
Speedo Sinks Alaska Gov’s Appointee
Amid a firestorm of gasps, giggles, and moral outrage, Alaska’s Governor Bill Walker (I) has withdrawn from consideration an appointee to the Alaska Commission on Judicial Conduct. Jeff Landfield’s own conduct came under scrutiny after several Facebook photos came to light, which the governor’s spokesperson Grace Jang said were “disrespectful” and “misogynistic,” a characterization Landfield disputes. No specific images were cited, but Landfield’s personal Facebook page is a cornucopia of party pics, poolside Las Vegas romps, and boozy musings. The position Landfield hoped to take for the Walker administration handles complaints filed against state judges – an unpaid appointment which…
Palin Responds to Face Punching
Many of us have sat, head hung low, as we’ve gotten a phone call from school because our little angel was being less than angelic. We tell ourselves that this is a teaching moment. We explain that of course, we don’t condone their actions, and this won’t happen again. We urge our progeny to fess up, to accept the consequences of their actions, and to make amends to the aggrieved party. Two weeks after the birthday party in Anchorage which resulted in the Palin family’s enthusiastic participation in a giant fist fight, Sarah Palin has finally done what any contrite mother…