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October 31, 2014

We Must Retire Don Young, and Here’s Why

Zach D Roberts

I was about 10 when I heard a sermon I will never forget. The speaker that day drew a few gasps from the congregation of the Homer Christian Church when he disagreed with a passage from the Bible. He quoted from 1 Corinthians, Ch. 13, the passage you often hear at weddings: “Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is love.” “That’s not true,” he said. “The greatest of these is hope.” He explained that his father had committed suicide. There was no shortage of love in their family. His father had simply lost hope that the pain of…

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EXCLUSIVE Don Young Caption Contest

DonYoungPanda

  Of course it’s EXCLUSIVE. You think just anyone gets their mitts on a photo of the longest serving member of Congress smoking a cigar on a boat, seemingly about to menace a rubber panda man with a shotgun? And yes. This is real. It was taken this summer, and there is no photoshopping. Let’s be serious. If we were going to make up a photo with Don Young in it, even we wouldn’t have come up with this.  And now… it’s all yours. Leave your caption in the comments, and we’ll meme the best ones.

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Obama!

Palin-Obama

Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…

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Don Young Killed a Guy. He Says.

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Last week Alaska Congressman Don Young (R) pulled a “Don Young,” and thanks to the magic of the internets and the television, it’s percolated up to the national media. Chris Hayes, on his show All In (see video above), talked about the incident that occurred at the Kodiak fisheries debate, in which Democratic challenger Forrest Dunbar made a terrible terrible mistake… One that could COST HIM HIS LIFE!     (<——– Say this in baritone movie promo voice) Forrest Dunbar… touched Don Young. He. Touched. Him. Not a “show me on the doll where Forrest Dunbar touched you” kind of…

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Parnell, GOP Continue Guard Scandal Coverup

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Earlier this year I received a loose-leaf notebook bulging with documents that detailed the sexual assault coverups and corruption in the Alaska National Guard. I spent a few months compiling information and interviewing as many people as would talk, trying to understand the players and the broad outlines of a mind-blowing scandal with real victims. People talked to me even though they were afraid. Terrified, actually. For years those who had spoken up against crime in the guard had had their careers destroyed. Nevertheless, a handful of brave souls tried to sound the alarm — even going directly the governor…

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Tea Party Cashing in on King’s Dream

TeaParty-KingDream

I subscribe to a lot of terrible e-mail lists. One of them is the TeaParty.net’s. I can’t say it’s the worst, but by no means do I enjoy reading their amazingly insane missives. But it’s part of the job, like changing dirty diapers is part of a parent’s job. Every single one of the e-mails is somehow stinkier than the last. Whether it be about 9/11, Benghazi, or Ebola, they all end in a beg for my money. This one, though, ranks currently as the worst. “Restore the Dream” t-shirt with an image of Reagan and King just hurts my brain….

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Mudflats Chats: Gov. Gary Johnson on Marijuana

Gov. Gary Johnson, and Brian the Mudflats Moose

I sat down recently with Gary Johnson, two-term Republican governor of New Mexico (1995-2003), and Libertarian Party nominee for President in 2012. Johnson is also the founder of the SuperPAC, Our America Initiative, which promotes Libertarian-minded causes, and is the CEO of Cannabis Sativa, Inc. He came to Anchorage to speak at a fundraiser for the Yes on 2 campaign which supports ballot initiative 2, to regulate marijuana like alcohol in the state of Alaska. The proposition will be put before the voters on the November 4 ballot. This isn’t Johnson’s first trip to Alaska. In his quest to summit…

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Ohio Dan Gets Cocky, Goes to Ohio

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There’s nothing like a couple polls giving you a slight edge in an Alaskan political race, to make the inexperienced Alaska politician feel a little cocky. U.S. Senate candidate Dan Sullivan has spend the entire election cycle so far dodging accusations he’s a carpetbagger from Ohio, who moved to Alaska for a Senate seat which will be purchased for him by the Koch brothers, and his wealthy family and friends in the Buckeye state. Sullivan turned up Sunday as the dreaded “empty chair” at a candidate forum that was attended by incumbent Senator Mark Begich, and Libertarian candidate Mark Fish. That’s two marks…

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‘Grand Oil Party’ Sues Unity.

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I was having dinner in New York City a few years ago with some media muckety-mucks. They asked me why I wouldn’t move to The City for work. “I’d be bored,” was my answer. This was another interesting week in Alaska politics and proved sticking around Alaska has been worth the price of admission. The legislative ethics adviser, Reggie Drummond, who just took his job a few months ago, has mysteriously resigned. Perhaps someone took a look at his twitter feed, which included such poetic yarns as “Liberal = industrial sized stupid, put that one in your dictionary” and a…

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You Want the Palin Brawl? Here it is.

drunkenrumpus

I’ve been asked countless times over the last couple days to weigh in on the Palin’s drunken rumpus that has now dominated the national news cycle. I’ve been begged. BEGGED. “You of all people!” “I’ve been waiting!” “Don’t let us down!” Honestly, I would rather be rolled in French fry grease, sprinkled with sea salt and fed to the ravens. It may be the same reason I disdain tabloids, and rubbernecking accidents. But because I love you I will weigh in, in whatever manner there is left to weigh in on the Hindenburg that is the Palin family. I knew as…

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