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July 28, 2014

They Said There Would Be Asians…

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I promise that what I’m about to tell you is not from The Onion. There is an Asian Republican Coalition (ARC), and it appears to consist of the run-of-the-mill Republicans that appear on Fox News: silver-haired white men in good suits, flanked by rafts of attractive white women. In order to be “inclusive,” the ARC’s co-chair, Thomas Britt, declared this group is “open to all Americans.” Because they are a generous organization, they will extend their membership to include one Asian—the ARC’s other chair, John Ying. If the organization’s own photos are any indication, its target demographic seems to be “those of us…

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We All Need a Tweditor – Palin Edition

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Before we begin: WHY must you continue writing about HER, you demand to know. PLEASE stop giving her attention, you insist. As soon as you pretend she’s not there, she will evaporate into the ether, you delude yourself. I plead guilty to a personal, professional, and morbid fascination with the enduring social and political impact of the trainwreck from Wasilla. Some people are really into sports, or photograph their lunch, or amuse themselves by taking Facebook quizzes to find out what color aura of what punk rock band’s totem animal they are, or other ultimately inconsequential hobbies. And as long as…

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Breaking: America Wants Sarah Palin to STFU

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Recently, NBC/Wall Street Journal/Annenberg took a poll.  They asked Americans if they think the ex-half-governor of Alaska, who didn’t become the Vice President of the United States, and who quit her job “governing” to spend the last six years turning gibberish into books, wearing glittery belt buckles, and subsisting on diet Redbull and the tears of the intelligentsia, should be speaking on the issues of the day. A solid majority, 54% of voters, think she should push her lower jaw up until it won’t go any farther, and hold it locked in that position. If this poll were an election, it would…

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Eric Cantor Got “Joe Millered” by Tea Party

Soon to be ex-House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor (photo Geoff Holzman)

Anyone in Alaska watching Tuesday’s primary shocker in Virginia unfold couldn’t help but draw comparisons to the Senate race in 2010. That year, Tea Party candidate Joe Miller set the Republican establishment back on its heels with a victory shocker over incumbent Republican Lisa Murkowski. Democrats scrambled while institutional Republicans, mouths agape, tried to comprehend what had just happened. On Tuesday in Virginia, Dave Brat, an underfunded Tea Party candidate cleaned the clock of the 7-term Republican incumbent House Majority Leader Eric Cantor by double digits. Brat had been predicted to lose by a wide margin. By many accounts Cantor…

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Palin Slams GOP Successor in Alaska

"Try to not bankrupt the state like you bankrupted your campaign. Now kiss the ring."

Hey, Alaska! Sarah Palin is back. She left our state’s politics in the dust after quitting office in 2009, but yesterday she returned to her favorite local media platform—The Bob & Mark Radio Show—to slam her successor and one-time Lt. Governor, Republican Sean Parnell. The bone she had to pick with him relates to her signature legislation as governor, Alaska’s Clear and Equitable Share (ACES). The oil tax system that ushered Alaska’s bank account into golden days of plenty, with a savings of more than $17 billion, ACES funded subsequent investments in roads, schools, and critical infrastructure projects. Under ACES,…

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Show Me Your Budget

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Show me a political flyer in Alaska and I’ll show you a candidate whose only reason for living is supporting the Permanent Fund and education, and fighting “government waste.” There’s an old saying, “Don’t tell me what you value. Show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” This week we got to see what the Republican majority in the Alaska Senate values. Rest assured, their budget, written by Sen. Pete Kelly, does not value birth control for irresponsible women. In fact, amendments to accept millions in federal funds for family planning — to actually reduce abortions —…

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GOP Leader Threatens Sexual Assault Council

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Speaker of the House Mike Chenault (R-Nikiski) is throwing rape victims under the train to get the governor’s out-of-state buddy on an Alaska gasline board. You’ve got to hand it to him; the lengths to which he will go to demonstrate his lack of common decency are not half-assed. In a state where 37 percent of women report having experienced sexual violence, and where rape statistics are three times the national average, Mike Chenault proves that for those like himself, there are more important things. Like getting the governor’s Texas buddy on the gasline board. The premise of Chenault’s latest legislative…

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Anchorage Muni Voter Guide

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The editors of The Mudflats don’t always agree, but this time we’re unanimous. What we agree upon most of all is that everyone must get out to vote tomorrow, Tuesday, April 1. Local elections are the most important, and least well attended. This one is particularly critical, so no excuses. Here’s your down and dirty voter guide. Anchorage Assembly Races East Side  Adam Trombley vs. Pete Petersen vs. Mao Tosi Trombley has rallied the troops at the Anchorage Tea Party “Day of Resistance,” spent most of his time trying to distance himself from an increasingly unpopular Mayor who hand-selected him…

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Christie is the New Palin

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In Alaska, there have lately been many comparisons of Governor Chris Christie to Alaska ex-half-governor Sarah Palin. To wit: a close circle of micromanaged advisors from whom utter loyalty is demanded; an open abhorrence of the press when they pull outrageous stunts like asking questions; a certain tone deaf quality and tendency to double down when bad behavior is called out; wielding the power of the office in full force political payback; and a complete lack of hesitation to throw anyone and everyone under the bus to save one’s own very thin skin. And come on – the Bridges and…

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DC Dan’s Embryonic Memory

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US Senate hopeful Dan Sullivan (R-OH–>DC–>AK) has decided to boost his nonexistent Alaska cred by campaign-branding the most traumatic event in Anchorage history. In addition to slapping his logo on the Good Friday Quake, Dan pours on the “we remember.” Given that the quake hit our city roughly 8 months before Sullivan’s birth in Ohio, his precocious, in-utero grasp of geological phenomena like the shifting of tectonic plates must have been impressive. The actual Alaskan in the Senate race shows our visitor from Ohio/DC how it’s done: Translation: “There’s no need to explicitly remind you I was born and raised here….

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