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November 23, 2017

The Pete Kelly Lisa Murkowski Surreality Show

State Sen. Pete Kelly, a Republican from Fairbanks, has introduced a bill to allow University of Alaska students to carry guns on campuses and into dorms. That’s public policy even more harebrained than putting pregnancy tests into bar bathrooms. Did Pete go to college? Did he live in a dorm? If so, he apparently didn’t notice that dorms aren’t exactly hothouses of good judgment. Adding firearms just increases the opportunity for adolescent bad judgment to become truly tragic. I sure wouldn’t send my kid to live in a dorm populated with gun-toting teenagers. I haven’t figured out what Kelly does…

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Obama Comes to Alaska: We Have to Break the Ice, so We Can Save It.

As I drove, I imagined having to explain to a Secret Service agent that the reason my boots set off the sniffer dog is because the last two places I wore them were a pig farm and a gun show respectively. So, there was a perfectly good explanation why I smelled of gunpowder, and fertilizer. “No really! I swear! I still have the pictures on my phone!” I was glad I had allowed extra time. I had allowed so much extra time, it turns out, that I was the first member of the press at Joint Base Elmendorf Richardson (JBER) and waited in…

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Alaska Lemming Caucus Over the Edge

This has been a difficult week for many Alaskans. So much uncertainty as 10,000 pink slips go to our friends and neighbors working for the state. Fairbanks Sen. Pete Kelly argues they aren’t pink slips, because there’s an “if” in them, as in “You’re not laid off if a handful of senators get their poop together.” Of course, we know there’s no chance Pete and his collaborators will get their poop together. Instead of pink slips, people online are calling them “Pete slips.” Our current legislative crisis is the handiwork of a small cabal of senators who refuse to compromise their misguided ideology. The…

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Palin Outraged Clinton Pulled a Palin

Sarah Palin, whom shame and decency dictate should be hiding out somewhere in the back of a dark deep cave with a bag over her head this week, is instead standing on the tippy top of Mt. Hypocrisy with a giant bullhorn yelling, “Look at me!” Should any of us be surprised? No. Was I still a little surprised? A little. Apparently the thought of raking Hillary Clinton (whom Palin thanked in 2008 for putting “16 million cracks in the glass ceiling”) over the political coals was just too tempting, just too enticing to put in check her own conscience, or…

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Cruz to Wasilla

Fueled by Jitters coffee and a sugar cookie the size of a frisbee, I was as ready as I was ever going to be. I and two companions were on a political road trip north to the Valley. As we arrived in Wasilla, a small plane flew laps over the AT&T sports center, towing a sign that read “Sullivan for Senate.” In a media market filled to capacity with political ads, this apparently was the only air time left. Inside, Toby Keith, Neil Diamond, Eminem, Corey Hart, and an unlikely play list of songs presumably chosen for themes of freedom, America,…

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We Must Retire Don Young, and Here’s Why

I was about 10 when I heard a sermon I will never forget. The speaker that day drew a few gasps from the congregation of the Homer Christian Church when he disagreed with a passage from the Bible. He quoted from 1 Corinthians, Ch. 13, the passage you often hear at weddings: “Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is love.” “That’s not true,” he said. “The greatest of these is hope.” He explained that his father had committed suicide. There was no shortage of love in their family. His father had simply lost hope that the pain of…

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Young Now Blames Fed Largesse for Suicide

  Alaska’s lone congressman sure dug himself into a hole yesterday, didn’t he? And you know what they say. Since you’re in there anyway, you may as well just keep digging. At first it appeared as though Young may have been repentant about telling grieving high school students who had just lost a friend and classmate to suicide that the problem was the lack of support from family and friends. Matt Shuckerow responded to a request from the Alaska Dispatch News in an email stating: “Congressman Young was very serious and forthright when discussing the issue of suicide, in part because of the…

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Young Insolent to Students – Suicide, Gay Sex & more

Alaska’s lone congressman, Don Young, spoke to a group of students at Wasilla High School Tuesday. If that sentence alone made you wince, then congratulations. It shows you’ve been paying attention to the rapidly crazying octogenarian who represents all Alaskans in the halls of Washington D.C. Earlier this month, Young barked at his Democratic opponent after a touch on the arm, “Don’t ever touch me! The last guy who touched me wound up on the ground, dead!” This time it’s insensitive remarks about suicide, berating friends of the victim, and comparing Alaska’s newly legal same-sex marriage to bull fornication. And…

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Haters Sad. Don’t Understand Government.

Local purveyor of gay and uterine control, Jim Minnery of the Alaska Family Council, has taken to the emails again to vent his sadness and outrage about how the government works. “Like a good soldier, Alaska District Court Judge Tim Burgess, fell right in line with the rest of the activist courts across the country and ruled yesterday that Article 1 Section 25 of our State Constitution defining marriage as a union between one man and one woman was unconstitutional.” That’s right. That George W. Bush appointee, Tim Burgess, is a gay activist… just like every single other court that…

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Krazy Kampaign Ad Alert! Again!

Um. Really? This weird/disturbing/moronic ad for No on 1 makes just about as much sense as giving billions from Alaska’s treasury to the wealthiest corporations in history, with no promise of more jobs, exploration, or production. In other words, it makes as much sense as voting No on 1. Most of Alaska’s hard-working men and women who actually own the oil in this state don’t have “an assistant.” But I’m sure the gratuitous tattooed cleavage, chainsaw and black panties will appeal to the rocket scientists who think giving away the farm makes good business sense. Way to go, guys. (And yeah,…

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