My Twitter Feed

April 23, 2018

Half-Term Governor Palin Endorses Half-Wit Donald Trump

Palin endorsement looking to bring in voters with only half a brain. Palin, who MSNBC’s Chuck Todd referred to as, “the woman that used to be the biggest reality star in politics” is set later today to endorse the new biggest reality star in politics, The Donald. Palin, who has been relatively absent from the political scene so far this Presidential campaign season is en route to Iowa to join the Trump campaign around the state. Trump’s campaign released a press release ahead of the 6pm press conference in Iowa calling Palin an “influential conservative.” The Donald was quoted in…

Palin Outraged Clinton Pulled a Palin

Sarah Palin, whom shame and decency dictate should be hiding out somewhere in the back of a dark deep cave with a bag over her head this week, is instead standing on the tippy top of Mt. Hypocrisy with a giant bullhorn yelling, “Look at me!” Should any of us be surprised? No. Was I still a little surprised? A little. Apparently the thought of raking Hillary Clinton (whom Palin thanked in 2008 for putting “16 million cracks in the glass ceiling”) over the political coals was just too tempting, just too enticing to put in check her own conscience, or…

Palins Vindicated! Just Ask Them.

I’ve learned that I cannot ignore the Palins’ drunken rumpus. But in light of the fact that our friends at Wonkette have taken the newly released Anchorage Police Department report and run with it as only they can, I’m just gonna put this right here to give you a little taste. CLICK for the full story of the Palin’s “vindication.” You’ll be happy to know that we stand by our original illustration of the event, and that t-shirts remain available for purchase HERE. Remember, Christmas is coming and nothing says Peace on Earth, Good Will to Man like ripping your shirt…

Palin Responds to Face Punching

  Many of us have sat, head hung low, as we’ve gotten a phone call from school because our little angel was being less than angelic. We tell ourselves that this is a teaching moment. We explain that of course, we don’t condone their actions, and this won’t happen again. We urge our progeny to fess up, to accept the consequences of their actions, and to make amends to the aggrieved party. Two weeks after the birthday party in Anchorage which resulted in the Palin family’s enthusiastic participation in a giant fist fight, Sarah Palin has finally done what any contrite mother…

Palin Streetbrawl Gear

Available in a ladies’ ringer tee and a men’s long-sleeve raglan, The Bristol Palin Boxing Academy shirt lets you show your support for the home team! Perfect attire for that hung-over brunch at Snow City Café. Features Mudflats logo on the front. Ladies’ “Bristol Palin Boxing Academy” Ringer Tee by MudflatsStore Men’s “Bristol Palin Boxing Academy” long-sleeve by MudflatsStore Or for an all-up-front style, choose the classic panorama of the Palin Family Brawl, featuring Bristol, Todd, Track, Sarah and the whole drunken rumpus, available in a variety of colors in short and long-sleeved styles. Great loungewear for recovery day while…

Palin and #WTF Foreign Policy

by Jeanne Devon and Zach Roberts Half-term Governor Sarah Palin has once again decided to demonstrate the flexibility of her intellectual consistency, and take a firm stand on two sides of a controversial issue. Last week she claimed that President Obama “blew it again,” with a deal that traded five members of the Taliban for the return of captive U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. Bergdahl stated that he had been tortured and kept in a cage during his nearly five years as a prisoner of the Taliban. That didn’t seem to be reason enough for the President to work for the…

Oh. My. Todd. Palin to Appear on Game Show.

(Please let this be photoshopped) Alaska’s former First Dude, Todd Palin, has been trying to get his own TV show for some time now. It may surprise you, but he has not met with success thus far. His wife, of course, tormented us all with pretending to “shoot a gun” on a caribou hunt, pretending to “climb a dangerous mountain,” float past a dangerous bear, and show that she is better suited for camping in the rain than city girl celebrities with dozens of children in tow – also known as “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” His daughter Bristol even has her…

Oyster Roundup!

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more and more! A Mudflatter recently asked me what an “Oyster Roundup” was, and I thought it might be time to give a refresher. In the epic poem “The Walrus and the Carpenter” from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass, the two main characters walk along the beach and entice young naive oysters from their beds to “take a walk”. (Pay no attention to the buttered bread and pepper, oysters!) As Carroll describes the exodus of the oysters from the sea, he says “Thick and fast they came at last, and…

So Much for the "Palin-free Month"

You walk down the hall and turn into the kitchen. There you see me by the counter. My eyes fly open wide. I lean up slightly from a Pyrex pan. You see me with my mouth stuffed, barely able to close my lips together. “whut…” I manage to get out as crumbs of an unspecified baked good fall to the counter. Yes, I am busted. And yes, by reading this post you’re the one who did it. I want you all to know, before I go on with this that I really did try. I walked past the kitchen for FOUR…

Oyster Roundup! What the Shuck?

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more! What the Shuck? Forgive me for that WTS? moment… I couldn’t resist. Before we get out the oyster knife and cocktail sauce, here’s a question for you all. What’s more to your liking, a roundup post, or several shorter posts during the day on the topics I’d normally cover like this? That’s not to say that the oyster roundup would disappear, but might be less frequent. Leave your thoughts in the comments. They Want What They Pay For Apparently paying Bristol Palin thousands of dollars in student-raised…