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January 23, 2018

I’m Not Buying Rapture Insurance

I don’t know how old I was when the rapture insurance salesman came to my church. He was pretty slick. For not a particularly tall man, he had a big voice that sounded more like the booming guy who does movie trailers. He had charts with newspaper clippings that had red threads connecting to passages of the book of Revelation. I’m not sure why he was even allowed to speak, but he was a sweet talker and had made his way to the front of our little congregation of free-range Christians. A woman named Rita was the one who called…

FEMA Called to Save Anchorage from Mayor Dan Sullivan

Yes, Mayor Dan Sullivan is so inept, and his priorities as the Chief Executive of Alaska’s largest city are so destructive and unsafe, yet another government agency has had to step in and save Alaskans from their elected leaders.  Once, it was the FBI saving us from the legislature. Now, it’s FEMA saving us from the Mayor of Anchorage.  The worst mayor in America is officially now a federal disaster. Anchorage Mayor Dan Sullivan said Thursday that the city has been awarded a $5 million federal grant to hire firefighters over the next two years. The grant will fund 15 to 26 firefighter…

President Obama Declares Flood Disaster in Alaska

Good news today for those impacted by the historic flooding in interior Alaska. President Obama has officially declared a disaster, making it possible for those in need to seek federal assistance. I know that several state and federal agencies have been working hard to cross the Ts and dot the Is so this could be possible. Here’s hoping the news brightens the spirits of those who have lost so much. “I am pleased the president and his administration are recognizing the dire circumstances experienced by many Alaskans impacted by this flooding. We welcome the federal assistance to help residents and…

Federal Dollars v. Federal Dollars. And the Winner is…

Governor Palin has requested assistance from (dum da dum dum) the federal government.  (Imagine that “federal government” part done in some kind of creepy, drippy Halloween font).  Shortly after the Federal Emergency Management Agency had arrived in Alaska last week, the Governor announced that she had decided to ask for a damage assessment.  That was very convenient, of course, because they were already here doing one. And now the governor is requesting a federal disaster declaration so that Alaska may be eligible for federal money to help in relief efforts.  She’s so eager for the federal money, apparently, that she’s not even waiting…