Yes, I read Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue – An American Life. I read it from cover to cover, including all the words. Why would I do this? Am I an unabashed masochist? No. The answer, my friend, is that I did it so you didn’t have to.
My own copy is marked up in various colors of highlighter and Sharpie. I tore a page because I pushed to hard while I was making a big red circle with a line through it. I refer back now and then making more notations. I look at it like that girl in the “I made it through Marine boot camp” commercial. I tested myself, and I won. So, now you can look at me and say “Good morning, Marine!”
I’ve had a couple requests over these last weeks to compile the various posts into one place. So, I’ve created a category in the sidebar, and will now post this comprehensive linky list.
And while I’m at it, I thought I’d include some comments by various “debunkers.” Below, see links for articles that call Palin out on her lies, delusions, and exaggerations. I’ll just add to this as the list grows. And you know it will. Chapter One – The Last Frontier
We are about to knock off the last agonizing chapter of the hardcover $19.97 bologna sandwich that some rogue calls a book.
Ready? Let’s go.
Page 383
The drive to Fairbanks for the abdication ceremony was “magical”. The motor home was “filled with coffee.” A bunch of local reporters came to say goodbye and they were worried that once she was gone they’d be out of a job. Yes, the Palin administration was “good for business.” All that lyin’ and tabloidization and lurkin’ in driveways really pays off for the liberal media. But really, you know, as a free-market fiscal conservative it was the nicest compliment anyone could have given her.
The speech -
North to the Future! Good bye governor’s office and hello to new and wonderful ways to help the state of Alaska by quitting!
Page 384
They took off from Fairbanks and stopped to make a campfire and roast marshmallows for s’mores, and eat hot dogs.
She keeps getting asked “What does Sarah Palin stand for?” (Other than lying, blaming, air-kissing hand mirrors and quitting?) She was shaped by The Last Frontier. More shout outs to Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher.
She’s a Republican because they have the strongest “planks.” Todd is “not registered with any political party for sound reasons.” (Yes, like if your wife is running for office, it’s probably a good idea to drop your 7-year membership with the secessionist party) She’s a Commonsense Conservative.
Page 385
Conservatism is a respect for moral principles. But she doesn’t think she’s more moral than anyone else. Another great quote! “Conservatives who act “holier than thou” turn my stomach.” But she’s fair because the stomach turning also applies to “elite liberals.” I guess elite conservatives like the previously name-dropped Alan Greenspan, Dick Cheney, John McCain, Jeb Bush, Fred Malek and crew make the cut. Good thing. It would be embarrassing to have your stomach turning at a swanky dinner party.
She’s a conservative because she believes among other things in the “inherent dignity of the individual.” (Unless the individual is an elite liberal, or someone disagreeing with her social philosophy)
Mini book report on Thomas Sowell’s Conflict of Visions. The problem with liberals is they believe people can become better, and we can fix things. Conservatives understand that people suck and are marinated in sin and that government can’t actually fix anything.
Page 386
The economy is bad but it will get better. Strained metaphor about Alaskan wildfires creating new growth potential. We used to have horses and buggies, now we have cars. We used to have LPs and 8-track tapes and now we have iPods.
It’s easy to promise free health care, but how will we pay for it? (Guess there are no questions asked about how we pay for war, just health)
Page 387
What happened to the Republican Party? They deserve the criticism because they’ve gotten off track. And now look what’s happened. Things are Democrat-controlled. And evil Hollis French does bad things in the legislature, like support reproductive rights.
You can’t claim to be a fiscal conservative and then increase spending (Like EVERY Republican president in the last 30 years?)
Page 388
Many people just stopped questioning government growth….until now. Because THIS administration is unprecedented in growth. (I thought it was Bush that added the entire Homeland Security bureaucracy. And spent us in to oblivion, more than any other administration EVER.)
Page 389
We spend too much money.
Page 390
Government programs encourage dependency. Tough love. Rewarding companies that are “too big to fail.” Shout out to Uncle Kurt’s ‘Bruce’s Muldoon Chevron.’ (I wonder if he’d sign my book?)
Cape & Trade should be called “Cap & Tax.” Taxes bad. You’re going to be taxed into oblivion.
Page 391
We should all be like Reagan. We need to cut taxes. You’re going to get taxed into oblivion. Reagan got us out of a recession. Reagan was brave.
Page 392
Reagan’s tax cuts worked.
The key to growing an economy is to drill for oil and gas because “God created them right underfoot beneath the American soil and under our waters.” (Yes, kids… God gave us oil. And why would he have given us oil if he didn’t want us to drill, baby drill? It’s like a big fossil fuel sacrament – Resource Creationism! Shiny black stuff made from 6,000 year old plants. But no mention of why God made the vast majority of the blessed oil underneath Arab countries’ soil.)
It’s silly to think that we’d take any chances with the environment. We raise our kids here, so why would we mess it up, silly? (Thinking Exxon Valdez…)
Page 393
“Taken together, Alaska’s energy reserves coupled with future discoveries on our continent could yield domestic energy supplies to cover American’s needs for decades.” ( And if I take my paycheck, and add to that my lottery winnings from the future, I’m a zillionaire!)
And about war… Yes, you American’s may be “war weary” but suck it up. We need to keep our homeland safe and we have to win over there to be safe over here. We need to be able to say, “We won. You lost.” Just like Reagan.
Page 394
But there is more to guaranteeing peace and freedom than by being at war… We can help others like Israel. (Don’t think of it as giving other nations gobs of money, think of it as a Rapture accelerant) We must remain a Shining City on a Hill. She respects Obama’s leadership in reaching out to other nations… (??? Re-reading that several times just to be sure) BUT, (and you knew there had to be one) we shouldn’t “project weakness.”
If we just stay in our own country and mind our own business, the world will be more dangerous and violent. “We don’t go looking for fights, but we’re ready to face them if necessary.” (Iraq anyone?)
Page 395
We must move forward, and we should not repeat the mistakes of the past. And we move forward by looking to the past. We look to the (failed) policies of Ronald Reagan and that will fix all our problems.
A call to all Americans to … throw tea parties! (AAAAAARGH!) Go to Town Hall meetings. Vote in every single election on every single issue.
“Stand Now. Stand Together. Stand for what is right.”
(And bang your head on the desk until the pain goes away.)
EPILOGUE (aka “What I put in there to replace all that stuff I took out about Levi when he threatened to squeal)
Page 397
She is writing the book from a small apartment in California.
Piper is trying to comb her hair but it is not working. “Yeah, and it was picture day on Wednesday and Bristol wouldn’t fix my hair and I had to go to school soaking wet and I couldn’t even find a comb!” Piper says. (Hey, everyone under the bus! Scoot over, Bristol’s coming. Guess she’ll have to add hairdresser to her list of things to do, right after working two jobs, taking college classes, and being a single mom raising a baby at the age of 18.)
Page 398
Piper decides to wear one of Todd’s baseball caps. She interrupts her mother by yelling for her sisters to lend her some money. “I’m broke! I had to pay for Mom’s mocha again when we were down in California, and now I don’t have any quarters!” (First, Piper is 8. Second, is this bizarre little epilogue supposed to be flattering to anyone?)
Getting ready to go to the Fair. Piper barking “commands,” boys in matching jackets, Piper licking her palm and slicking Trig’s hair… (Zzzzzzzz……)
Todd says she better get home because Trig is about to walk. Trig slept through the night. Piper finds change in the laundry room. (This deceivingly tiny little Epilogue is NEVER going to END!)
Page 399
She takes a run. The sun is shining. She runs slowly. Then she had to slow down to a walk. She was happy to be in a city where nobody recognized her. (Californians were all sleeping last fall?) She thought about Track. She kept walking. She thought about Trig, and the last year and the politics. “Oh, the politics.”
Then she stopped walking. Then she sat down on the grass and prayed. “God, thank You. Thank You for Your faithfulness … always seeing us through… I don’t know if this chapter is ending (4 pages left. Thank you, God!) or just beginning, but You do, so I hand it all over to You again. Thanks for letting me do that.” More praying.
Page 400
It was surreal to go from the “trappings of power” to sitting at a kitchen table with Meg Stapleton. Quitting was liberating. She used Facebook to “call things like she saw them” and it made an impact. And just think, Facebook was created by the private sector in a dorm room at … wait for it … Harvard! (The irony of this apparently does not strike her) And this young liberal Harvard elite didn’t need a government grant to invent Facebook. She loves the Facebook.
Republicans got trounced in the last election, but she is not discouraged. If Ronald Reagan could spring from the ashes in 1976, so can we!
Page 401
The grass smelled good. What was the matter with Californians? Why weren’t they all outside running? She retied her shoelaces. She got up. Her knees creaked. She started running again, but this time she felt better because she was thinking about nice things, like thankfulness for our country. She felt hopeful and free and thankful!
But not THAT hopeful and free and thankful, though. Our country is headed in the wrong direction. She feels that Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder may become discouraged and not want to participate in the system. Both parties need to clean up their act.
Page 402
We need to make America welcoming for those that “some may not consider ‘perfect.’” Citizens are rising up and asking the government to trusht them. The government is supposed to work for us, we’re not supposed to work for the government. (I thought in a Democracy, we were the government.) People want to “throw the bums out of Washington,” both Democrats and Republicans.
Page 403
She thinks back on Michigan where she first “went rogue.” Now, she didn’t want to stop running!
She’s going to head back to Alaska and sit at the kitchen table. God doesn’t drive parked cars. She’ll gear up for hard work and new goals. She’s going to bake a cake, and show Piper where Michigan is on a map.
Page 405-408
Some guy I’m supposed to have heard of wrote an email about Palin saying she’s great. So, here it is, and Palin says “I hope you get a good laugh, as well!” (Oh, good! Humor! I need a good laugh about now.)
She did good things, including beating Frank Murkowski, single-handedly exterminating the Corrupt Bastards Club. (And here we thought it was the FBI), firing the chef, and dismissing her security detail in her last trimester of pregnancy because she was packing heat. She thought about a gas line in a new way (where IS that thing?), and she wants Alaska to be on 50% renewable energy by 2020.
She wanted to go back and work for Alaska but “the haters wouldn’t let her.” “Now, these adolescent screechers are obviously not scuba divers. And no one ever told them what happens when you continually jab and pester a barracuda. Without warning, it will spin around and tear your face off.”
(Yeah, that was hilarious! [dabbing my eyes] That part about tearing your face off? What a riot.)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
“I’m very glad this writing exercise is over.” (Me too!) “I love to write, but not about myself.” (OK, now THAT’s funny!) The next time she writes a book, the focus will not be on her. (Next time?!? Noooooooo!)
Long list of people. She’s not the only one in the family who has interesting (and some Alaskany) kids’ names – Payton, Lauden, Karcher, Happy, Kier, McKinley, Heath and Teko. Denali, Brooks, Skyler, Camryn, Isha. Thanks to Lynn Vincent “for her indispensible work getting the words on paper.” To her kids’ teachers – “thanks for your patience with our unconventional schedules, and despite some political opinons held by their mom, thank you for mentoring and loving the Palin kids anyway.”
Thanks to her friends because she “couldn’t do a thing without your generous help with the kids – babysitting, carpooling, overnights, diaper changing, storybook reading and arts & crafts entertainment.” Kristan Cole, Kris Perry, Thomas Van Flein, Meg Stapleton. Cabinet members, mom & pop businesses, Todd’s “slope buddies.” “The Prayer Warriors from Wasilla to Washington to Winnipeg, it is your intercession that allows me to stand today.” Valley Pastors Prayer Network.
“A special shout-out to airline flight attendants (you know why).” (HUH??)
Special needs community who are lucky because God touched them in “unique ways.”
Fred Malek, Conservatives4Palin, Team Sarah, 2012 Draft Sarah Committee (!!!)
To “media professionals” like Glenn Beck, Greta Van Susteren, Rush Limbaugh- “please keep making the idiots’ heads spin.” (Whose idiot head would Jesus spin?)
And finally to her immediate family. “I breathe you.”
She knows there is a God. Her life is in his hands. Everyone should let God take over their lives. She’s thankful for “His majestic creation called Alaska” and for his “touch on America.” (I knew it! I just KNEW God was an American!) “By His grace, an American life is an extraordinary life.”
The End.
I cannot believe I made it.
And corks pop at Mudflats Central.
Thanks for coming along on the “wild ride” through this mind-numbing, stomach-churning, brain-bleeding, eye-gouging, ear-poking, head-banging exercise in wading through and endless, steaming pile of words that were cobbled together for maximum delusional effect. You were with me through the lies of omission, the lies of inclusion, the revisionist history, the fairy tale myths, all seen through the pretty pink fireweed colored glasses of the new self-proclaimed leader of the “commonsense conservative movement.”
And now, I bid you adieu for the evening. I have a large jar full of warm soapy water and a loofah pad waiting for my weary shrivelled brain. A quick rinse with a nice Shiraz, and a pat dry with a soft fluffy pillow and it will be as good as new.
The second-to-last chapter. There is light at the end of this long long tunnel. It reminds me of the escape scene from Shawshank Redemption. Only I’m not yet to the other end of the pipe…
Page 341
Everyone wanted her to run for Senate against Lisa Murkowski who was vulnerable because she got the job through nepotism because her father gave it to her when he left the seat to become governor before he lost to Palin. (Yes, the word “incestuous” comes to mind.)
“As always” she polled the family and everyone was on board except for Track who said no because he wanted to retain her as his team’s hockey manager. “At that point in his life, having an involved mom was more important to him – and to her – than having a mom with a powerful position in Washington D.C.” (So, what happened in 2008?)
Page 342
Some radio guy accused her of lying about Track telling her not to run. Why would she lie, because if anything, telling the truth would just invite even more criticism from the haters. He didn’t understand that “there is no greater service than mothering.” (Where the hell did I put that Pepto Bismol…)
The day she flew home to Alaska, everything was different. She was the same old gal, but everyone else had turned against her because she and John McCain had run against someone “who inspired worshipful loyalty from his supporters.”
This is a comment from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page.
[From Patricia B***] I finished reading your book last night. The way I see it is; this is a war between good & evil. Your an angel and Obama is the devil .
There were ethics complaints and record requests “that required hours of work to process.” (Surely not HOURS!?)
Page 343
Reporters decided to abandon journalism “in favor of tabloidizing my family, my record, and me.”
Once again, she asked Track what to do. He had been deployed in Iraq as an infantryman for nine months, but now he sounded beat. “My oldest son would once again weigh in on my political future.” (Coming later)
Anonymous McCain staffers were leaking lies to FOX News reporter Carl Cameron who repeated them without asking her for her side of the story. (A FOX reporter under the bus?! Wow.) There were stories that she had nabbed all the clothes and the RNC had to fly to Alaska to get them back. In reality she had been “ordered” (emphasis hers) to pack up the clothes, all fourteen suitcases of them and stuff them into the belly of the plane and fly it back to Wasilla. (And she’s such a good soldier, always taking orders and doing just what she’s told.)
Page 344
Then they flew people up to inventory it all. Then they Fedexed 30 boxes and 14 empty suitcases (why didn’t they just leave the clothes in the suitcases?) back to the RNC.
**********ALERT!! Mudflats Mention!!**********
I am delighted to tell you, that … yes, the name of this blog and no other was mentioned in Going Rogue, on page 344. Read it and believe.
“The media’s constant pelting reminded me of the time we kids used to go out in the canoe with Dad near the Knik mudflats early mornings before school.”
Yes, I know it’s not the blog itself, but it’s close. The way I figure it, she could have said “near the Knik River” or left that part out entirely, but perhaps…just perhaps…she had “mudlfats” on her mind for some reason… (raising one eyebrow and nodding at you in a knowing way)
Anyway, they went duck hunting…buckshot rained down on her head…bla bla bla.
The national people criticized her for not going to their fancy events. The locals criticized her for not being in Juneau. “There’s a pothole that needs repairing on the Seward Highway! If she’s gone, who will fix it?” (Raising hand “Ooo! Pick me! Pick me! The State Department of Transportation! … Was that a trick question?) Those DemocRAT lawmakers were just a bunch of whiners who wanted mama around. It was completely absurd.
Page 345
No matter how many times she told everyone that Alaska came first, nobody would believe her!
Turkey Gate – The local media had turned against her. The cameraman who had previously been friendly set up the camera to “capture turkeys being decapitated behind me.”
(The turkeys were NOT being decaptiated. They were being bled out into the cone of death. Get it straight.)
Her deputy press secretary was appalled! (Where were her press people when this was actually happening?)
Oh, what the heck. It’s almost Thanksgiving, so let’s travel back in time to last year….
(Wouldn’t you think that the ex-sport reporter/ex-journalist/ex-TV personality who reminds us about how journalism savvy she is at every turn, and was so careful about “hitting her mark” for the cameras during the VP debate would have noticed where she was standing? Just sayin.)
Page 346
Target – The Associated Press. A reporter said that she had to rely on notes and her commissioners to answer questions at a press conference. What a set up! And the same reporter asks her how she handled a tough week and Palin answered “A lousy week? Really?” Says Track got back from Iraq alive. Trig’s heart is doing well and the holes are closing up and he won’t need surgery, thank God. Todd is fine. Daughters are fine. Everything is fine! Life is rosy! Everything is wonderful. This lousy week was GREAT! Meanwhile the nasty fact-checkin’ national media were “sniffing around for tabloid stuff.” (You’ve been TABLOIDIZED! see page 343)
Page 347
Target – Authors of the book ‘Sarah from Alaska’. Talks about Piper getting ambushed on the way home from school by reporters. Remember those reporters from the plane Mommy? The ones that Nicolle Wallace said didn’t like us very much? They just interviewed me on the sidewalk. (This account was later refuted by Shushannah Walshe and Scott Conroy. Can you believe they accused her of making things up?)
Complains about reporters hanging out by her house. And then… “in addition there were the ‘new media’ – the left-wing bloggers. The lines between the two were often blurred, with stories starting in the blogosphere and leap-frogging to old media channels.” (There were lots of stories that started with the bloggers, but of course she doesn’t point out that the “old media” still has to fact check all those bloggers, or that they will probably be fact checking her book. Doh!)
Her Dad’s answer to “Trig Truthers” is “I know Trig is hers, dumbass. I was there when he popped out!” (ACK! I hope that doesn’t mean what it sounds like it means… “Hey, Dad! Check it out!”)
Page 348
When the bloggers weren’t busy makin’ stuff up, they talked about looming scandals that would ruin her political career. Like the rumors she had a sex tape. (I had to look that one up, because I had never heard that one. Sure enough there was a rumor…which was debunked on September 8, 2008, about a week after the nomination. It wasn’t started after she got back to Alaska post-election. So, you know what’s coming….)
Everything she did was scrutinized. It was “pathetic and chilling.”
And then we have, for my money, the best line in the whole book. Are you ready? Put your beverages down, and swallow your popcorn or you’re going to be wiping it off your monitor.
“I don’t like to hear people complain.”
She goes on to complain that the mainstream national media are pretty much worthless and don’t report the facts. They suffer from “the sin of omission.” (But of course, this book does not) “The time has come to acknowledge that it is counterfeit objectivity the liberal media try to sell consumers.” (Thank you Lynn Vincent.)
Page 349
Thank God there is still talk radio, and other objective sources. (Ha!)
She got grief from pro-life groups for appointing a Supreme Court Justice who wasn’t pro-life enough. She explained (after tip-toeing out of the room where Trig lay sleeping) that the system of judicial appointments in Alaska needs to be changed. She wanted them to put their energy into changing the law, so she wouldn’t ever have to nominate someone who wasn’t pro-life enough again.
Page 350
The Yankee Game
She, Todd and Willow were with Rudy Giuliani at a Yankees game. It was an unforgettable afternoon.
She went to Texas to crawl in bed with Exxon and give interviews.
Page 351
She did an interview. The stipulation was that they would ask her about the gas line first, and not tabloid stuff. She likes Matt Lauer. Wolf Blitzer? She likes his mom. (zing) David Letterman told a crude joke about Willow at the baseball game. John Ziegler asked her about the joke while she was on the air and she had not heard it, so she was unprepared to give an answer. She said something and the media criticized her for not being able to take a joke. Statutory rape is not funny.
Page 352
Gossipmongers began spreading rumors that she and Todd were going to divorce. They noticed she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. But her wedding ring only cost $35 and she often didn’t wear any jewelry at all. Todd doesn’t wear a ring either.
She watched Todd in Texas all tanned and walking around with no shirt on. “Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?” (And her criteria for the continuation of a marriage is out there for all to see. Guess Todd better keep his boyish figure, or he’s outta there!)
Page 353
Her administration was hit with a paralyzing amount of FOIA requests. Instead of her staff doing their jobs, they spend “thousands of hours and wasted more than $2 million of public monies to sort through it all one sheet at a time.”
Most of the requests came from Andree McLeod who is again referred to as “the falafel lady” and the Associated Press. Andree also inspired a “group of co-belligerents” who filed complaints.
Page 354
They tried to keep a sense of humor especially when her chief of staff “received a fresh complaint” saying that women in state offices wore inappropriate clothing to work. “Breasts were apparently spilling from blouses all over the 49th State and Andree demanded I do something about it!” (Notice the skillful blending of official ethics complaints and a letter written via email to Mike Nizich and Commissioner of Administration Annette Kreitzer. This email about the inappropriate dress of some state workers somehow magically ended up in a gossip column at the Anchorage Daily News…wonder how THAT happened? I covered it in a daily wrap up post, which also featured some pretty inappropriate dress by the governor herself. Remember the skimpy skirt at the memorial service for fallen soldiers? Here it is, along with the info on “cleavage gate.” When McLeod tried to see what was in the internal emails that flew around, guess what? REDACTED. The great cleavage cover-up! And if you’ll notice, the email was not directed at Palin, but at the commissioner of Administration Annette Kreitzer, so as for demanding that Palin “do something about it….)
Page 354 (continued)
You can see what Andree McLeod’s attorney, Don Mitchell had to say about his paragraph HERE. To sum it up, he basically say that yes, he’s an attorney, but other than that:
Page 354 (still continued)
Someone (Linda Kellen-Biegel) complained that she was wearing a warm winter jacket with Todd’s Iron Dog sponsor’s logo. Someone complained about a picture of her holding a fish. (I STILL have no idea what that is.) She was served with a complaint from a fake British Soap Opera character. (For the record, the form wasn’t even filled out all the way and ended up in the round file immediately, taking NO state time but getting – to use a term of Palin’s – milked for all it was worth.)
Page 355
Instead of thinking about work, all she and her staff did was deal with ethics complaints. “I had to wonder. Will I be punished for wearing these clogs, or this label on my jeans today?” (Only if your husband is making a ton of money from the clog company and you wear the clogs at an official world famous clog event that you attend officially as the governor, and pose for pictures wearing a uniform with the clog logo all over it while you’re there for a national clog magazine, and dress your entire family up in clogs that are worth hundreds of dollars a piece and don’t declare the expensive clogs as a gift, and don’t disclose how many thousands of dollars worth of clogs you’ve got stashed in your closet, not to mention your twin pair of state-of-the art clog machines and the giant clog trailer you got as a perk to haul them all around.)
She and the whole family wore the offending team uniform at the event, “proudly in front of God and FOX and everybody, so what?” (So what? You can read about the Arctic Cat saga HERE, and at Blue Oasis in the future.)
Page 356
She wanted to just pay the ethics fine and get it over with, but no… her principled and idealistic lawyer, Snidely Whiplash Thomas Van Flein would have none of it, because she didn’t do anything wrong.
People are using the system against her. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
She was “handed a megaphone” during the campaign so how can she not use it to talk about the dangerous path our nation is on? It would be selfish of her to “zip her lips.” (No, not really…)
Page 357
The megaphone is used.
Obama is bad. Stimulus is bad.
She has a teachable moment with Bristol who gets up at 4am every day to work in a coffee shop and then takes classes and takes care of her baby. The lesson is about how we should not bail out businesses using the metaphor of a coffee shop that Bristol wants to own some day. She should call it “Bristol’s Beans.”
Page 358
She fears for the future because of the DemocRAT administration. She proceeds to scare the young entrepreneur in the car by asking her to imagine trying to start Bristol’s Beans with a Democrat-led congress telling her what color roof she has to have, and what car she can drive?
Page 359
Bristol says, “Pay attention to the tea parties, Mom. You’re not alone in this.”
She knew Bristol and Tripp would be just fine because Bristol was strong, and independent and loved to work.
On the campaign trail many people were hesitant to talk about Obama’s past associations with “anti-capitalist radicals.” The press tried to tell people that was the wrong thing to do. (Imagine!)
Page 360
When she answered questions about past associations of his on the trail, she was “going rogue.” (Flipping back to the part where she said that she was told to talk about “palling around with terrorists.”)
Wealth redistribution is bad. Margaret Thatcher was good.
Page 361
Stimulus money. Fat strings attached to the money. Still spouting all the crap about universal mandated building codes that we would have to accept.
Page 362
(Is it getting hot in here, or is it me?)
Gave a speech in Fairbanks. Government is not the answer. God is the answer. She got a standing ovation but some of the legislators didn’t stand because they don’t like her. Then the DemocrAT-controlled (have I been sleeping?) legislature overrode her veto. Teabaggers make her hopeful.
Page 363
She and Todd were going broke. The McCain campaign charged her $50,000 for being vetted. (After the fact? Maybe it was just for their pain and suffering…) They asked what was left of “Headquarters” to pay it, but they said NO because they didn’t win.
One of the left’s “favorite weapons” is frivolous ethics complaints.
Page 364
Democrats were mean to Newt Gingrich because he was a movement leader. Democrats have moved to the left. Some are good but most are bad. Democrats engage in the politics of personal destruction. Democrats target people, not ideas. Democrats lodged 74 charges against Gingrich and 65 were “laughed out of committee.” (Soooo…nine were valid?) Republicans didn’t stick by Newt.
Page 365 Travelgate.
A whole lot of rationalization about why the state should have paid for her children to travel all over creation. She got 2 choices, either pay for 8 or 9 trips that were ethically questionable, or she could present her case to the Personnel Board. She chose to reimburse the state for the trips as long as she didn’t have to say she did anything wrong. But she knew how the media would “spin it.”
Page 366
Now all you hear is that “most” of the ethics complaints have been dismissed, when in reality it was all of them as soon as she paid the state back for the 8 or 9 ethically questionable family travel incidents.
Just like Democrats “neutered their nemesis” Newt, they would do the same to her. (Spay Sarah?)
The “saddest part” about travelgate was that it kept her separated from her family. Todd wouldn’t even come around the office any more. Now they had to minimize their trips. She, Piper and Trig were in Juneau and the rest were in Wasilla. It wasn’t fair. (If I remember correctly, Juneau has been the capital for quite some time now, and I think that most governors know that when they take the job. But at least we get to hear this beautiful violin solo.)
Page 368
Then the insane ethics complainers started objecting to the state paying for her state staff to travel around the country with her on campaign events while she tried to run the state via Blackberry. (What DO we have a Lt. Governor for, anyway?) The lefties must be reading “Rules for Radicals.”
The “thumpin’” that she was getting was apparently coming from Rahm Emmanuel.
****uproarious laughter break*******
Page 369
Troopergate (even though it started well before she was tapped for VP spot) was orchestrated by Obama! (Oh, dear God. How many pages left??) The White House must have been whispering in Walt Monegan’s ear. The “Independent” investigator (who was chosen by a bipartisan committee and is NO liberal) came up with a “strained and nonsensical” decision. (read: guilty of abusing her power under the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act)
Page 370
It wasn’t until the day before the election (what timing!) that the Personnel Board “dismissed the ethics charges surrounding Troopergate. That circus was finally over.” (Actually, as you Mudflats faithful readers know, the 3-person governor appointed Personnel Board found her not guilty of the charges she filed against HERSELF. They in no way supercede the conclusion of the Legislative investigation that found her guilty. She just chooses to believe THAT one.)
She wonders aloud what former State Senator Kim Elton did “to earn his new job in Washington.” (Wow.)
***********break until hackles return to normal position**************
Todd said don’t let the bastards get you down (in Latin). If it were only her it would be one thing, but the media wouldn’t leave her kids alone.
[Ooo! Pictures! In color, no less. Blueberry picking, running with jogging stroller, Willow in fireweed, modeling fur hats, Iron Dog, Praying at Easter brunch, a moose sticking its head in the door (Don't go in!!!), Playing hockey with Piper, group shot in native garb, local parade, bar in Chicken, voting, first day in governor's office, inauguration ceremony, dancing at the governor's ball, reading to Trig, Track and Sarah, Piper's birthday in the capitol building, signing of AGIA, Chuck & Sally Heath in front of old log cabin that used to be a house of prostitution, Track and Todd at Ft. Benning, GOP convention in Minneapolis, Chuck & Sally with Henry Kissinger, Jim & Faye Palin at GOP convention, Chuck Heath talks to the press (THAT always goes well...), Anchorage Airport departure, Moose antlers in the cockpit of the campaign plane, Piper talking to George W. Bush on a cell phone, Ground Zero with firefighters, campaign bus, Mark Wallace yelling at her during debate prep, "Good laughs" with Lindsey Graham, Joe Lieberman and John McCain (I feel nauseous), heading to VP debate, Courageous American Hank Williams Jr. and Iditarod champ Martin Buser, She and Cindy and "band of merry followers," Piper talking into a microphone, Country First rally, 1-25th's deployment ceremony, rally in Missouri, voting in Wasilla, more voting, concession speech (no not HERS...), Lounging by the pool w/ napping Trig and Blackberry, She and Piper in full Arctic Cat regalia, and a totally adorable picture of Todd lying on the ground with Trig chewing on his head while Tripp grabs his face. That one actually makes me like Todd. They showed it during Oprah, and the whole audience went "Awwwwww!"]
Oh no….back to the words again.
Page 371 (previously posted)
Bristol was criticized for going on the abstinence tour and her “pragmatic” position that the only way to make sure you don’t get pregnant is not to have sex. She graduated high school with great grades, is taking college courses and works two part time jobs to pay for diapers and formula. But you don’t read about that. (Should I erase this then?) Partisan bloggers questioned Track’s enlistment in the army.
A fake Planned Parenthood ad was mean to Trig. So was someone who “Photoshopped distorted images over Trig’s pretty face in order to make him look monstrous.” (Err… that would be putting local radio shock jock Eddie Burke’s face on Trig’s body to show how cozy he and Palin are. Eddie Burke? Monstrous?? Well, Ok… You can see the original monstrous Burke photo and his shrunken monstrous tiny head HERE. How many people get mad when their body is put on someone else’s head, vs. their head getting put on someone else’s body. It isn’t about the body! It’s about the head! But that doesn’t make a good story.)
Page 372
Someone said she was using her baby as a prop. She was mortally offended. Other politicians have their children on stage. She’s a proud mom. Just because you’re running for office doesn’t mean you have to “switch off your maternal instincts.”
To answer your next question: 41 degrees.
Kris Perry wanted to quit because she got a FOIA request an hour after her father-in-law passed away. She didn’t want to deal with the “hit squad”.
Page 373
She felt like quitting too. Her approval ratings plummeted from nearly 90% to 56% during the “one-sided public discourse” about her ethics issues. (Hmm. I seem to remember lots of press releases coming from the governor’s office, and lots of press covering her side of the story. And it’s 48%.) Slowly everything was “shot to hell.”
The bloggers won. Everyone just assumed she was guilty because “where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” But in her case there was lots of black billowing smoke, but no fire at all. The “liberal mentality” is that even if you’re innocent, it doesn’t matter, you’ll go broke eventually.
Page 374
She’s worried that the way things are set up, it will discourage good people from running for office. (Umm.. has any other Alaskan governor ever had this problem?)
Kristan Cole set up the Alaska Fund Trust (Legal Defense Fund) without any assistance or input from her. There is an ongoing investigation on the fund and she has gotten no money from it. (Even though its legality is in question, she still continues to accept donations which can be used for her OR any member of her family or her staff for anything.)
She can take anything – personal pain, loss of reputation, financial hardship, but she cannot take the harm to…. Alaska. Nobody had ever been able to tell her to sit down and shut up, but now it had happened. It would never stop. So, a hobbling lame duck that couldn’t take watching her precious Alaska suffer, she did the noble thing. She passed the ball, after she prayed about it.
Page 375
Enter Track, again.
Track knows all. He knows that she doesn’t want to put her family through this. Track knows she wants to protect them. Track knows she doesn’t want to let those idiots run her off. But Track has seen his sister be humiliated by…..her former boyfriend who went on a “fact-free kiss-and-tell media tour.” (And Levi finally makes an appearance on page 375. And he doesn’t even get a name mention. He must know something.) And Track knows he’s making things up.
She responds. But, Track… think of the troops! “The shots that really hurt are felt by people losing their livelihoods, losing a loved one in battle…”
But Track says you don’t quit. Don’t be a quitter! You only leave if you move up to something “more worthy.”
Page 376
But isn’t protecting your little brother and sister more worthy, Track? What about revealing truth? What about “breaking free of the bureaucratic shackles that are now paralyzing our state?” Isn’t that more worthy? (OMG…when will it be over?!? 5 more pages… I know I can make it. I’m not a quitter!)
I’m not a quitter Track, I’m not. (Yes you are.) But I know what I have to do. (Quit.)
Track says he’ll pray for her. She tells him to fast for a day. He says no. She says that he shouldn’t “cuss” for a day. Impossible. Finally, they settle on the holy act of no chew for a day. And that, apparently “was a big darn deal.” (A 24-hour chewing tobacco fast… Something we can all aspire to.)
She wasn’t sleeping well thinking about going with the flow and collecting a pay check, and padding her resume (with a full term?).
Page 377
A lame duck session would not help Alaska. “If I die, I die.” Doesn’t need a title to effect change…
On July 3, she quit. Beautiful day, shimmering lake. Family by her side (no Bristol). Her dad said, “She’s not retreating, she’s reloading.” She “wanted to leave no doubt that she wasn’t running from political shots.” (HUH? Isn’t that exactly what she just said she was running from?? Gah! 4 more pages…)
Page 378
When she took the job, she wanted to be held accountable for doing her job, not to have to prove that she is Trig’s mom. (Wouldn’t a birth certificate have done that in 5 seconds? While she’s at it, she can sign the Juneteenth proclamation governor’s must legally sign, and get rid of that complaint. She could kill 2 birds in 30 seconds.)
Her quitter speech was broadcast nationwide. She didn’t expect that. People speculated about why she quit. “What a bunch of buffoons.” She turned off the TV and ate cake.
The same people who wanted her out, were now outraged. (I ate cake.)
Page 379
Mainstream media stalked her parents and asked questions about why she quit and if there was an FBI investigation. The FBI said there wasn’t. “Poor press. At that moment the B in “FBI” stood for “Buzz kill.”
(Pleeeease, make it stop! 2 more pages…don’t….know..if I can…make it…)
She went to Dillingham to “slay salmon.”
Secretly (except in this best-selling book) she wanted to see “the likes of Andrea Mitchell” be forced to watch her being happy and content with her family.
Page 380
The last time she saw Mitchell it was with (name drop alert) Fred Malek, Dick Cheney, Alan Greenspan, Dianne Feinstein, Madeleine Albright, Walter Isaacson, Jeb Bush and John McCain. Now she wanted to see her covered in fish slime and “banging around in a skiff, stuck in the mud, trying to pull themselves over the bow.” (Nice. Who would Jesus slime?)
They issued an open invitation to all the press except CBS. Whoever employs “the perky one” doesn’t even deserve the slime. Piper taught them how to drive a boat. They couldn’t believe there was no scandal and no “greedy grasp for money” (except the book deal). It was all for Alaska.
Page 381
But they didn’t believe her. Mary Matalin was the only one who got it right by saying she’d disarm her opponents and it would free her up to raise a lot of money “for worthy causes.” The water was calm and the day was sunny “so – dang it – none of them got slimed.”
************************************
DONE WITH CHAPTER 5! That was the most painful one so far by a long shot. Oy. (rubbing temples in a circular motion) I literally have a twitch in my eye. I’m not kidding.
Remaining is a 12-page chapter called “The Way Forward.” That must be the brilliant policy pamphlet Rush Limbaugh talked about. Then there’s a 7 page epilogue. Then a 4-page thing about Alaska by some guy. Then 5 pages of acknowledgments. Then it’s over. Really and truly over. We should have this wrapped up in the next 24 hours.
Page 292
Before the debate a campaign consultant made a comment about her weird vocal inflections. She’s been talkin’ the same way for 44 years and she’s not going to change now. “Besides, I thought of all the money Tina Fey was making imitating me; I didn’t want to screw up her SNL thing by changing up on her midstream. I’m all about job security for the American worker.” (Yeees, that was an actual quote)
Page 293
Then there was an orchestrated photo op where they made her look like she was picking out a suit to wear. (So, if you saw that picture, remember it doesn’t mean she likes clothes. They made her do it.) “Cameras continued to flash.” The suit guy was called “the Candy Man” because his parents own some giant gourmet chocolate company. (Hmm. Sounds “elite!”) He kept the bus stocked with gourmet chocolate and everyone loved him.
Page 294 (previously posted)
Steve Schmidt drops the f-bomb while Piper is in the room sitting in the corner drinking diet soda. She was busy trying to focus on the economy and free-market principles and Israel, but people were mad and stomping around and caking makeup on her and raising her hair to new heights. So she had to pray. She called Piper over to pray with her that she’d win the debate and Piper said that was “cheating.”
Page 295 (previously posted)
The same woman that led her down the hall to the debate did the same thing for Geraldine Ferraro in 1984. She thinks Geraldine Ferraro is great and Ferraro called her during the campaign to thank her for the “shout out” to her contribution to political history because nobody else ever did.
Page 296
She was out on stage on her mark exactly on time. But no Joe Biden. He was late because he was still “on Senate time.” Or perhaps it was all planned…a rotten trick just to throw her off her game.
She tried to catch his eye to give him a friendly nod, just to acknowledge that “Hey, ultimately we’re all on the same team. Go U.S.A.!” But Senator Biden not only didn’t make eye contact but he had on a “game face.” (Oooooo.) Then she goes on to describe the Senator stretching out before the debate. “Then the neck rolls started, presumably to get rid of all that nasty tension from being the front-runner. After that the senator from Delaware began stretching his quads, grabbing his dress shoe and pulling it up behind his designer suited rear-end.” (Who would Jesus mock with a sharp tongued nasty venemous paragraph designed to embarrass and humiliate them in a best-selling book? And here I thought we were all on the same team… Go USA!)
Page 297
They pushed her out on stage five seconds earlier than they were supposed to so she could symbolically meet him in “his turf” on his side of the stage, and the staffer told her to remember, “hair plugs!”
Ended her final statement with a quote from Ronald Reagan. Again. Then she met Joe Biden and his family on stage afterwards. His wife and daughters and granddaughters are beautiful.
Page 298
Reporters asked her what she thought about the campaign pulling out of Michigan. She said she wished they weren’t pulling out of Michigan because every American counts…bla bla bla. She had no idea that disagreeing with campaign strategy to the press was a big deal. They thought it was a huge deal.
She still didn’t think it was a big deal and hoped “Headquarters” would just get over it. They didn’t. Some staffer told the press she was “going rogue.” (And poof! The title of the book. Guess the whole “it’s not a good thing” point was lost.)
Page 299
A VP stop that had been planned in Michigan was cancelled. She was disappointed and she suggested to the campaign that the next time they were near Michigan they should just “pass the hat for gas money” and do a pop in…you know, maybe hold a quick grass roots rally. She thought this would be a great idea and get more votes. She also thought it would be “mavericky.” (Yes, she used that word.)
But you can guess what “Headquarters” said. They said NO. It was really strange, this sudden push-back they were getting. What could be wrong? She thought about sneaking across the border into Michigan without permission. But after Nicolle Wallace said, “Welcome to the pirate ship,” she decided that if they “didn’t want their throats cut” they’d better stick with the script, whatever THAT was. Sheesh. (Stop for a second and imagine what a nightmare it must have been to work on the McCain campaign. If it weren’t for the fact that he chose this woman without bothering to vet her, I’d feel sorry for him.”
The campaign plane was full of signs now from people across the nation – “Heels on Gloves Off” and “Come Back to Michigan!”
Page 300
Her dad gave the pilots moose antlers to stick up in the cockpit. The Democrats got lots of attention because of the “steady stream of liberal stars beating a path to Obama’s door.” She wanted celebrities too, like Kid Rock because he is “very pro-America.” (As opposed to the liberal stars who are very…. what?) Name drops stars who may or may not be happy to forever be tied to her at this point – Robert Duvall, Jon Voight, Janine Turner, Gretchen Wilson, …
Page 301
… Hank Williams Jr., John Rich, Naomi Judd (not like that other Judd…), Lee Greenwood, Mike Ditka, Brady Quinn, Aaron Tippin, the Bellamy Brothers, and the Orange County Choppers.
She was tempted to ride away on a “hot custom-made bike” honoring POWs and MIAs, but Headquarters wouldn’t have liked it.
Page 302
She was showering one morning and Rick Warren called. She turned off the water so he wouldn’t know she was in the shower. (This is where all the Republican men are supposed to get an image of her standing in the shower. Note they’ve had a whole page to recover after picturing her on a ‘hot’ military-themeed bike.) He prayed for her.
She kept in touch with people on the trail, like another boy like Trig who had “scored an extra chromosome.” (Yipee) He asked that she not call him “darling.”
Page 303
More name-dropping – Dennis Miller, Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammer, and John Ratzenberger. A vet gave her a bracelet that belonged to his buddy who was killed. Why couldn’t they pay less attention to celebrities and big donors and focus on everyday folks?
Page 304
She got tired of having her picture taken with Trig and party donors, and having people asking Piper to call their relatives on their cell phone. Why so much time with “friends of John?” She longed for the regular people.
Enter – Joe the Plumber.
Page 305
Joe reminded her of people in Wasilla. (Dear people in Wasilla who will now forever be compared to Joe the Plumber, I am SO sorry…) People started waving signs, “I’m Jose the Hairdresser,” etc. The media were mean to Joe the Plumber and tore him apart for not knowing anything. But guess who came to his defense? (drumroll please) Tito the Builder! He said, “Why the hell are you going after Joe the Plumber?” Someone from Mother Jones said the press coverage was reasonable. But Tito and a “feisty African American woman in the crowd hit back.”
Page 306
The African American lady brought up William Ayers. People started shouting “I Am Joe the Plumber!” Tito the Builder did not sit down and shut up.
Headquarters told her to say that Obama was “palling around with terrorists,” and she was happy to be the one to deliver that message to the American people.
Page 307
The “left-wing nuts” accused her of “lowdown rhetoric unworthy of presidential politics.” (Yup.) When there was blowback, the folks at headquarters just ducked and let her take the heat, which of course she was happy to do because the campaign didn’t go far enough with that kind of talk, in her opinion.
She wanted to also bring up “Jeremiah ‘God Damn America’ Wright” but they wouldn’t let her. She will “forever question the campaign from prohibiting discussion of such associations.” (How about McCain and G. Gordon Liddy, or Todd and the Alaska Independence Party? Or Pastor Thomas Muthee, while we’re at it…since we’re talking about pastors.)
Page 308
They did a “Joe the Plumber Tour” in Virginia. Tito the Builder was there. Nguyen the Grocer, Theresa the Teacher, Tom the Real Estate Agent, Greg the Teleprompter Guy, Wendy the Waitress. She met Suzanne the cafe owner who gave her cookies. She’d been a struggling waitress and “had no doubt that she might someday be there again.” (Really? How’s the book deal working out for you? Or can I expect you to be serving my eggs over easy at Village Inn soon?)
She dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween once. She had liked SNL and snuck around to watch it so her parents wouldn’t catch her. From the very beginning she liked the idea that she and John might appear on the show. “Let’s do this! Let’s go on and neutralize some of this and have some fun!” But of course, there was “massive back and forth haggling with the McCain campaign.”
Page 309
You can not only see Russia from Alaska, you can swim there. (Please, just let it go.)
Finally, when it was too late to say no, “Headquarters” FINally allowed her to do the show. (See flaming pants above) She didn’t have the script until the day of the show. She was really worried that it wouldn’t be funny, so she decided to write her own jokes where she could pretend to be a reporter and ask Tina Fey things like, “What happens if the moose were given guns? It wouldn’t be so easy then, eh?” “What do you use for newspapers up in Alaska, tree bark?” She sent in her suggestions but “somebody smacked ‘em down.” (Wow. And the moose joke was just hilarious. Those SNL people wouldn’t know brilliant comedy if it shot ‘em in the ass … like a moose with a gun. Get it?)
Page 310
They were afraid that Tina Fey’s liberal politics would make her ad lib something insulting that would “stick like a burr.” Palin wasn’t worried that Tina Fey would be unprofessional but heck, Lorne Michaels knew her better than she did, so…
Tucker Eskew laughed his ass off at the script but she didn’t think it was funny. They had actually turned “Drill, Baby, Drill” into a risque double-entendre! It was Bristol’s birthday so they got cupcakes and she ate six of them. (Who needs a dietician?! The Atkins bars and the cupcakes just neturalize each other out. Wash ‘em down with diet soda or a sugar-free Red Bull and there’s your meal!)
She and Tina Fey had a “mom moment” when Fey’s daughter got confused about who was who.
Page 311
They whisked her off to a “tiny windowless dressing room.” (I suppose all the sprawling palatial dressingrooms with sweeping views of Manhattan were taken)
Amy Poehler came in and she and Bristol compared pregnant bellies and talked about pregnancy stuff.
Page 312
She liked the Sarah Palin rap song they did. The guy wearing Arctic Cat regalia looked just like Todd. She still hears Piper wandering around the house rapping, “You say Obama, I say Ayers! Obama…Ayers! Obama….Ayers!” (Aww. That Piper is so sweet and percocious.)
Page 313
Oliver Stone was there. “Unbelievably he is a supporter of Communist dictator Hugo Chavez” who called Bush the devil! She did not shake his hand. (Yes, can you imagine showing such disrespect for the president of the United States? Next thing we’ll find out is that he let his 7-year old run around the house doing some kind of insulting rap song about him.)
Then there was Alec Baldwin. She came up with some real “gotcha zingers” that she wanted to say to him, but they wouldn’t let her. So, it was watered down.
Page 314
Wardrobe Gate. Lies all lies. Especially the part about her being a “pampered princess.”
Page 315
The evil Katie Couric talked about the wardrobe. Everybody did. People who knew her laughed out loud at the thought that anyone would call her a “diva.” Her family was made to sound like a pack of hillbillies who had come to the big city. She shops at Costco. She buys generic peanut butter. It was sexist because no other candidate was being asked about their wardrobe.
Page 316
When they were picking on her, nobody talked about the fact that she always wears a flag pin, and a blue star pin for Track. She wore a jacket that day that she bought in a used clothing store.
She would have been happy to wear her own closthes but when Charlie Gibson was interviewing her in Alaska, Nicolle Wallace went through her closet and hated everything and was mean and made her feel bad. But she snuck a couple things in the suitcase and brought them on the trail anyway.
She explained the whole clothing story on the trail to reporters, but went “off-script, and said it was all the RNC and that none of the clothes were hers.
Page 317 (previously posted)
The campaign was mad. They accused her of “going rogue” again and there was more yelling. The campaign knew how she felt about the clothes, but nobody defended her or spoke up for her. They just hung her out to twist in the wind. She realized that this was because some of the higher ups in the campaign were already “packing their parachutes” and she was going to be the scape goat.
Page 318 (Previously posted)
To this day, Randy Schueneman won’t say all the bad things about Schmidt and what he was saying about her. But she did find out that he thought she was screwing up and not doing her homework and might be suffering from post-partum depression. Randy said this was ridiculous and that he didn’t believe anything of the kind. So she figured out that all the McCain staffers were collecting half-truths and lies and saving them up so that when they lost, they could all blame her for everything. She just knew it.
Page 319 (previously posted)
CNN reported that her going off script “irked” McCain aides. Randy got mad and demanded to talk to Steve Schmidt.
Page 320 (previously posted)
Schmidt and Scheunemann argued. Schueneman good – Schmidt bad. Implies that Schmidt &/or Wallace was the leaker of the lies to make her look bad. Schmidt said she was an awful pick because of the clothes, the postpartum problems, and “legal exposure for Todd on Troopergate, whatever he meant by that.” (Could he have meant that Todd was found in contempt of the Senate for ignoring a legislative subpoena to testify in an ethics probe? And that he was asked to do this by the Attorney General of the state? Perhaps?)
Page 321 (previously posted)
Schmidt said if there were any more leaks critical of the handling of Sarah Palin, he’d leak more bad information about her. She didn’t know any of that at the time, and Schmidt denies it to this day. But even though Schmidt is a rat bastard and she’s been eviscerating him throughout the entire book, life is too short to hold a grudge and if she sees him again, maybe she’ll give him a “pretty white Peace Lily.”
(head bang)
Page 322
She wanted to give a speech on special needs families. Headquarters actually said OK. They had a special needs coordinator who wrote a speech. She was told not to say “speical needs people” because special needs people found it offensive. She rewrote the speech. “Too often state and federal laws add to their challenges, instead of removing barriers.” Her “little fella” sleeps through all the speeches and rallies.
“You know there are the world’s standards of perfection, and then there are God’s and these are the final measure.”
Page 323
“The truest measure of society is how it treats those who are most vulnerable.” (Socialism?) Wants to redirect $18 billion a year to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. (On a side note, Barack Obama’s dreaded stimulus package put $24 billion to the effort.)
The speech didn’t get promoted but that was OK, because “I didn’t want that for my own sake, Lord knows, but it needed to be shared.”
She gave two more speeches, one on energy and one on women’s issues. Neither were promoted by the campaign which she said was a “surprising stragegy.” She guesses Headquarters had already given up. (On her.)
Page 324
Piper wanted to be a snow princess for Halloween. (Is a “snow princess” the daughter of an Ice Queen?) She wanted to take the kids trick or treating, and the campaign sent them to a neighborhood of swing voters. She was upset that this might become just a photo op because the kids had been so patient, going to school in Alaska during the week and flying to campaign stops on the weekend.
Here’s the link to a Matt Lauer video interview with Piper who says the rallies were ”the hardest part,” she missed “a LOT” of school, and it was “really hard” to catch up.
Page 325
Halloween -
Piper the snow princess, Trig the elephant (GOP?), and her as Tina Fey again. (Does anyone else remember this? And what would the costume be?) They went trick or treating to a couple houses, but soon the phalanx of photographers and the secret service guys tipped people off and the crowd forced them to stop after a few houses. The Secret Service had to check Piper’s candy and take anything that wasn’t wrapped. Piper glared at him, and said it was “the worst Halloween ever.”
Page 326
But then they threw a Halloween party on the plane and the kids got candy and Piper was happy again and sat in the back with the reporters eating as much candy as she wanted. (At least she drinks diet soda.) She stayed up all night.
Page 327
Prank phone call from fake Nicholas Sarkozy
The phone call was all set up, and she wished she’d paid attention in French class. (Or to the fact that Nicholas Sarkozy doesn’t actually speak English) He said some strange things including that he wanted to go hunting from a helicopter with her. This, of course is ridiculous because everyone knows that people in Alaska don’t shoot wolves from helicopters like everyone’s been told. That’s a total myth. (They do shoot wolves from airplanes, but that wasn’t mentioned.)
She tried to play along. She kept laughing and giggling because she didn’t want to insult the president of France. She thought he was drunk.
Page 328
When she finally was told by the caller that she’d been pranked by a radio station, “the merde hit the fan.” One of the first calls was from Schmidt “and the force of his screaming blew my hair back. ‘How can anyone be so stupid?!’” (Actually it was done via email to campaign aides.
Page 329
Tucker Eskew was freaking out. Everyone was freaking out. She thought it was no big deal and they just needed to “dust off and move on.”
Page 330
There were lots of rallies in the final week. The family went off in all directions talking to people. She flew home to vote in Alaska. She voted in what used to be her second grade classroom, and wore the same wardrobe she often wore back then – “jeans, a Carhartt jacket and a relieved smile.” Others might think that voting in her classroom was coincidence. But she thought it was a Providential path and “a miracle.”
Page 331
Headquarters didn’t want her talking to locals or reporters and called to tell her to get back in the truck. She thought, “Nah, not this time,” and did it anyway.
She thought the election was still winable for the GOP. But God had a plan. So, she got back in the black Suburban and “consciously handed her future over to God.”
Page 332 (previously posted)
She worked on two speeches – one victory and one concession. Everyone else knew McCain was toast but the “B Team wouldn’t give up.” She just wanted to say thank you to John McCain and that she and her family are proud to be Americans and….. “also wanted to say a word – finally – in appreciation of the Bush/Cheney administration’s efforts.” (No, I’m not kidding)
Every possible relative and friend including Iditarod musher Martin Buser had flown down from little towns all over Alaska. They endured a long plane flight just to be together.
Page 333 (previously posted)
Some day she’ll be able to make it up to her family and friends for not having enough time for them during the campaign. They lost the election even though they had the better message for America. But at least, she had one thing….she knew that despite the heartbreak, she’d be able to stand before the American people and tell them to keep fighting for what is right as she delivered…her speech! But then…
Page 334 (previously posted)
The B Team was stunned! Was it possible? “Headquarters” said no speech! Unbelievable! She gets called to McCain’s suite and told by senior staffers, no speech. But the speech is great! No speech. But it honors John! No speech. Don’t think of it as a concession speech, think of it as… NO SPEECH.
Page 335 (previously posted)
It wasn’t her idea to write the speech. Matthew Scully wrote the speech. Everyone knew about it and thought it was great. But “Headquarters” micromanaged everything and botched it yet again, and kept her all bottled up right to the end.
Page 336 (previously posted)
John McCain tells her he’s going to thank America. She says “I want to thank YOU!” He says, NO SPEECH. She finally gets that there will be no speech. Time to get on stage, but she’s not ready and doesn’t know where the giant entourage from all across Alaska is. She wants to go on stage with the whole family – all five generations, and cousins, and everyone. She walks on stage with Todd and everyone she could find at the time and still has the speech wadded up in her hand.
Page 337 (previously posted)
No kids and no Todd allowed on stage, she is told. “Piper wasn’t thrilled when I had to shoo her and her cousins away. Todd came on stage anyway.” McCain gives speech and she embraces him in gratitude.
Page 338-339 (previously posted)
During the post-election party reporters who usually look for “inside stories” on the campaign already had them because McCain staffers had been leaking made up negative stories about her and her family to the press for use after the election.
Post-election poolside moment with family, Kris Perry, Mike Nizich (her chief of staff) and his wife, and Meg Stapleton. Nicolle Wallace tells Todd to prepare for things to get nasty because of leaked stories. How would she know that?, Palin muses, fingering Wallace as the source of the leaky lies about her. (If Nicolle Wallace didn’t want to beat the stuffing out of her before, she certainly does now.)
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