My own copy is marked up in various colors of highlighter and Sharpie.  I tore a page because I pushed to hard while I was making a big red circle with a line through it.  I refer back now and then making more notations.  I look at it like that girl in the “I made it through Marine boot camp” commercial.  I tested myself, and I won.  So, now you can look at me and say “Good morning, Marine!”

I’ve had a couple requests over these last weeks to compile the various posts into one place.  So, I’ve created a category in the sidebar, and will now post this comprehensive linky list.   

And while I’m at it, I thought I’d include some comments by various “debunkers.”  Below, see links for articles that call Palin out on her lies, delusions, and exaggerations.  I’ll just add to this as the list grows.  And you know it will.
Chapter One – The Last Frontier

Chapter Two – Kitchen Table Politics

Chapter Three – Drill, Baby, Drill (Part One)

Chapter Three – Drill, Baby, Drill (Part Two)

Chapter Four – Going Rogue (Part One)

Chapter Four – Going Rogue (Part Two)

Chapter Four – Going Rogue (Part Three)

Chapter Five – The Thumpin’

Chapter Six – The Way Forward
(Including Epilogue, A View from Alaska, and Acknowledgments)

Indeces (unofficial, because the actual book didn’t have one)

Index: Famous People in Going Rogue 

Index: Rose-colored Glasses Version From The New Republic 

Index: Amusing Version from Slate.com

Index: The Huffington Post

Rogue Links and Voices from Under the Bus:
John McCain Defends His Staff from Palin Barbs

Nicolle Wallace:  Palin Just Made Things Up,  ‘Bizarre Fixation’ on Campaign

Steve Schmidt Calls Palin’s Memoirs “Total Fiction”

Former friend and Legislative Director John Bitney talks about Palin’s Lies

Bitney calls Palin a “sociopath.” (Video)

Attorney Don Mitchell talks about Palin’s lies

Trooper Mike Wooten Breaks His Silence to talk about Palin’s lies

Andrew Halcro – Palin’s  “Unmitigated Lies and Narcissistic Delusion”

A Scrabble Player Speaks Out About Palin’s Lies

Andrew Sullivan: The Odd Lies of Sarah Palin (Comprehensive List)

Levi Johnston Says Palin is “Full of It.”

Palin’s Book Goes Rogue on Facts – The Associated Press

Chief Wooden Legs Dissed – Coach Wooden Misquoted

Palin Throws the Bus Under the Bus!

Palin Quotes Plato – NOT!

An American Life or An American Lie?  Richard Fineberg on ACES

Palin’s Former Ally Calls More Lies to Rogue – Andree McLeod on Palin’s lies

The New York Review of Books Tackles Going Rogue

We are about to knock off the last agonizing chapter of the hardcover $19.97 bologna sandwich that some rogue calls a book.

Ready?  Let’s go.

Page 383
The drive to Fairbanks for the abdication ceremony was “magical”. The motor home was “filled with coffee.” A bunch of local reporters came to say goodbye and they were worried that once she was gone they’d be out of a job. Yes, the Palin administration was “good for business.” All that lyin’ and tabloidization and lurkin’ in driveways really pays off for the liberal media. But really, you know, as a free-market fiscal conservative it was the nicest compliment anyone could have given her.

The speech -
North to the Future! Good bye governor’s office and hello to new and wonderful ways to help the state of Alaska by quitting!

Page 384
They took off from Fairbanks and stopped to make a campfire and roast marshmallows for s’mores, and eat hot dogs.

She keeps getting asked “What does Sarah Palin stand for?” (Other than lying, blaming, air-kissing hand mirrors and quitting?) She was shaped by The Last Frontier. More shout outs to Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher.

She’s a Republican because they have the strongest “planks.”  Todd is “not registered with any political  party for sound reasons.” (Yes, like if your wife is running for office, it’s probably a good idea to drop your 7-year membership with the secessionist party) She’s a Commonsense Conservative.

Page 385
Conservatism is a respect for moral principles. But she doesn’t think she’s more moral than anyone else. Another great quote! “Conservatives who act “holier than thou” turn my stomach.” But she’s fair because the stomach turning also applies to “elite liberals.” I guess elite conservatives like the previously name-dropped Alan Greenspan, Dick Cheney, John McCain, Jeb Bush, Fred Malek and crew make the cut. Good thing. It would be embarrassing to have your stomach turning at a swanky dinner party.

She’s a conservative because she believes among other things in the “inherent dignity of the individual.” (Unless the individual is an elite liberal, or someone disagreeing with her social philosophy)

Mini book report on Thomas Sowell’s Conflict of Visions. The problem with liberals is they believe people can become better, and we can fix things. Conservatives understand that people suck and are marinated in sin and that government can’t actually fix anything.

Page 386
The economy is bad but it will get better. Strained metaphor about Alaskan wildfires creating new growth potential. We used to have horses and buggies, now we have cars. We used to have LPs and 8-track tapes and now we have iPods.

It’s easy to promise free health care, but how will we pay for it? (Guess there are no questions asked about how we pay for war, just health)

Page 387
What happened to the Republican Party? They deserve the criticism because they’ve gotten off track. And now look what’s happened. Things are Democrat-controlled. And evil Hollis French does bad things in the legislature, like support reproductive rights.

You can’t claim to be a fiscal conservative and then increase spending (Like EVERY Republican president in the last 30 years?)

Page 388
Many people just stopped questioning government growth….until now. Because THIS administration is unprecedented in growth. (I thought it was Bush that added the entire Homeland Security bureaucracy. And spent us in to oblivion, more than any other administration EVER.)

Page 389
We spend too much money.

Page 390
Government programs encourage dependency. Tough love. Rewarding companies that are “too big to fail.” Shout out to Uncle Kurt’s ‘Bruce’s Muldoon Chevron.’ (I wonder if he’d sign my book?)

Cape & Trade should be called “Cap & Tax.” Taxes bad. You’re going to be taxed into oblivion.

Page 391
We should all be like Reagan. We need to cut taxes. You’re going to get taxed into oblivion. Reagan got us out of a recession. Reagan was brave.

Page 392
Reagan’s tax cuts worked.

The key to growing an economy is to drill for oil and gas because “God created them right underfoot beneath the American soil and under our waters.” (Yes, kids… God gave us oil. And why would he have given us oil if he didn’t want us to drill, baby drill? It’s like a big fossil fuel sacrament – Resource Creationism! Shiny black stuff made from 6,000 year old plants.  But no mention of why God made the vast majority of the blessed oil underneath Arab countries’ soil.)

It’s silly to think that we’d take any chances with the environment. We raise our kids here, so why would we mess it up, silly? (Thinking Exxon Valdez…)

Page 393
“Taken together, Alaska’s energy reserves coupled with future discoveries on our continent could yield domestic energy supplies to cover American’s needs for decades.” ( And if I take my paycheck, and add to that my lottery winnings from the future, I’m a zillionaire!)

And about war… Yes, you American’s may be “war weary” but suck it up. We need to keep our homeland safe and we have to win over there to be safe over here. We need to be able to say, “We won. You lost.” Just like Reagan.

Page 394
But there is more to guaranteeing peace and freedom than by being at war… We can help others like Israel. (Don’t think of it as giving other nations gobs of money, think of it as a Rapture accelerant) We must remain a Shining City on a Hill. She respects Obama’s leadership in reaching out to other nations… (??? Re-reading that several times just to be sure) BUT, (and you knew there had to be one) we shouldn’t “project weakness.”

If we just stay in our own country and mind our own business, the world will be more dangerous and violent. “We don’t go looking for fights, but we’re ready to face them if necessary.” (Iraq anyone?)

Page 395
We must move forward, and we should not repeat the mistakes of the past. And we move forward by looking to the past. We look to the (failed) policies of Ronald Reagan and that will fix all our problems.

A call to all Americans to … throw tea parties! (AAAAAARGH!) Go to Town Hall meetings. Vote in every single election on every single issue.

“Stand Now. Stand Together. Stand for what is right.”

(And bang your head on the desk until the pain goes away.)

EPILOGUE (aka “What I put in there to replace all that stuff I took out about Levi when he threatened to squeal)

Page 397
She is writing the book from a small apartment in California.

Piper is trying to comb her hair but it is not working. “Yeah, and it was picture day on Wednesday and Bristol wouldn’t fix my hair and I had to go to school soaking wet and I couldn’t even find a comb!” Piper says. (Hey, everyone under the bus!  Scoot over,  Bristol’s coming. Guess she’ll have to add hairdresser to her list of things to do, right after working two jobs, taking college classes, and being a single mom raising a baby at the age of 18.)

Page 398
Piper decides to wear one of Todd’s baseball caps. She interrupts her mother by yelling for her sisters to lend her some money. “I’m broke! I had to pay for Mom’s mocha again when we were down in California, and now I don’t have any quarters!” (First, Piper is 8. Second, is this bizarre little epilogue supposed to be flattering to anyone?)

Getting ready to go to the Fair. Piper barking “commands,” boys in matching jackets, Piper licking her palm and slicking Trig’s hair… (Zzzzzzzz……)

Todd says she better get home because Trig is about to walk. Trig slept through the night. Piper finds change in the laundry room. (This deceivingly tiny little Epilogue is NEVER going to END!)

Page 399
She takes a run. The sun is shining. She runs slowly. Then she had to slow down to a walk. She was happy to be in a city where nobody recognized her. (Californians were all sleeping last fall?) She thought about Track. She kept walking. She thought about Trig, and the last year and the politics. “Oh, the politics.”

Then she stopped walking. Then she sat down on the grass and prayed. “God, thank You. Thank You for Your faithfulness … always seeing us through… I don’t know if this chapter is ending (4 pages left. Thank you, God!) or just beginning, but You do, so I hand it all over to You again. Thanks for letting me do that.” More praying.

Page 400
It was surreal to go from the “trappings of power” to sitting at a kitchen table with Meg Stapleton. Quitting was liberating. She used Facebook to “call things like she saw them” and it made an impact. And just think, Facebook was created by the private sector in a dorm room at … wait for it … Harvard! (The irony of this apparently does not strike her) And this young liberal Harvard elite didn’t need a government grant to invent Facebook. She loves the Facebook.

Republicans got trounced in the last election, but she is not discouraged. If Ronald Reagan could spring from the ashes in 1976, so can we!

Page 401
The grass smelled good. What was the matter with Californians? Why weren’t they all outside running? She retied her shoelaces. She got up. Her knees creaked. She started running again, but this time she felt better because she was thinking about nice things, like thankfulness for our country. She felt hopeful and free and thankful!

But not THAT hopeful and free and thankful, though. Our country is headed in the wrong direction. She feels that Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder may become discouraged and not want to participate in the system. Both parties need to clean up their act.

Page 402
We need to make America welcoming for those that “some may not consider ‘perfect.’” Citizens are rising up and asking the government to trusht them. The government is supposed to work for us, we’re not supposed to work for the government. (I thought in a Democracy, we were the government.) People want to “throw the bums out of Washington,” both Democrats and Republicans.

Page 403
She thinks back on Michigan where she first “went rogue.” Now, she didn’t want to stop running!

She’s going to head back to Alaska and sit at the kitchen table. God doesn’t drive parked cars. She’ll gear up for hard work and new goals. She’s going to bake a cake, and show Piper where Michigan is on a map.

Page 405-408
Some guy I’m supposed to have heard of wrote an email about Palin saying she’s great. So, here it is, and Palin says “I hope you get a good laugh, as well!” (Oh, good! Humor! I need a good laugh about now.)

She did good things, including beating Frank Murkowski, single-handedly exterminating the Corrupt Bastards Club. (And here we thought it was the FBI), firing the chef, and dismissing her security detail in her last trimester of pregnancy because she was packing heat. She thought about a gas line in a new way (where IS that thing?), and she wants Alaska to be on 50% renewable energy by 2020.

She wanted to go back and work for Alaska but “the haters wouldn’t let her.” “Now, these adolescent screechers are obviously not scuba divers. And no one ever told them what happens when you continually jab and pester a barracuda. Without warning, it will spin around and tear your face off.”

(Yeah, that was hilarious! [dabbing my eyes] That part about tearing your face off? What a riot.)

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

“I’m very glad this writing exercise is over.” (Me too!) “I love to write, but not about myself.” (OK, now THAT’s funny!) The next time she writes a book, the focus will not be on her. (Next time?!? Noooooooo!)

Long list of people. She’s not the only one in the family who has interesting (and some Alaskany) kids’ names – Payton, Lauden, Karcher, Happy, Kier, McKinley, Heath and Teko. Denali, Brooks, Skyler, Camryn, Isha. Thanks to Lynn Vincent “for her indispensible work getting the words on paper.” To her kids’ teachers – “thanks for your patience with our unconventional schedules, and despite some political opinons held by their mom, thank you for mentoring and loving the Palin kids anyway.”

Thanks to her friends because she “couldn’t do a thing without your generous help with the kids – babysitting, carpooling, overnights, diaper changing, storybook reading and arts & crafts entertainment.” Kristan Cole, Kris Perry, Thomas Van Flein, Meg Stapleton. Cabinet members, mom & pop businesses, Todd’s “slope buddies.” “The Prayer Warriors from Wasilla to Washington to Winnipeg, it is your intercession that allows me to stand today.” Valley Pastors Prayer Network.

“A special shout-out to airline flight attendants (you know why).” (HUH??)

Special needs community who are lucky because God touched them in “unique ways.”

Fred Malek, Conservatives4Palin, Team Sarah, 2012 Draft Sarah Committee (!!!)

To “media professionals”  like Glenn Beck, Greta Van Susteren, Rush Limbaugh- “please keep making the idiots’ heads spin.” (Whose idiot head would Jesus spin?)

And finally to her immediate family. “I breathe you.”

She knows there is a God. Her life is in his hands. Everyone should let God take over their lives. She’s thankful for “His majestic creation called Alaska” and for his “touch on America.” (I knew it! I just KNEW God was an American!) “By His grace, an American life is an extraordinary life.”

The End.

I cannot believe I made it.

And corks pop at Mudflats Central.

Thanks for coming along on the “wild ride” through this mind-numbing, stomach-churning, brain-bleeding, eye-gouging, ear-poking, head-banging exercise in wading through and endless, steaming pile of words that were cobbled together for maximum delusional effect.  You were with me through the lies of omission, the lies of inclusion, the revisionist history, the fairy tale myths, all seen through the pretty pink fireweed colored glasses of the new self-proclaimed leader of the “commonsense conservative movement.”

And now, I bid you adieu for the evening.  I have a large jar full of warm soapy water and a loofah pad waiting for my weary shrivelled brain.  A quick rinse with a nice Shiraz, and a pat dry with a soft fluffy pillow and it will be as good as new.

Page 341
Everyone wanted her to run for Senate against Lisa Murkowski who was vulnerable because she got the job through nepotism because her father gave it to her when he left the seat to become governor before he lost to Palin. (Yes, the word “incestuous” comes to mind.)

“As always” she polled the family and everyone was on board except for Track who said no because he wanted to retain her as his team’s hockey manager. “At that point in his life, having an involved mom was more important to him – and to her – than having a mom with a powerful position in Washington D.C.” (So, what happened in 2008?)

Page 342
Some radio guy accused her of lying about Track telling her not to run. Why would she lie, because if anything, telling the truth would just invite even more criticism from the haters. He didn’t understand that “there is no greater service than mothering.” (Where the hell did I put that Pepto Bismol…)

The day she flew home to Alaska, everything was different. She was the same old gal, but everyone else had turned against her because she and John McCain had run against someone “who inspired worshipful loyalty from his supporters.”

This is a comment from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page.

[From Patricia B***]  I finished reading your book last night. The way I see it is; this is a war between good & evil. Your an angel and Obama is the devil .

There were ethics complaints and record requests “that required hours of work to process.” (Surely not HOURS!?)

Page 343
Reporters decided to abandon journalism “in favor of tabloidizing my family, my record, and me.”

Once again, she asked Track what to do. He had been deployed in Iraq as an infantryman for nine months, but now he sounded beat. “My oldest son would once again weigh in on my political future.” (Coming later)

Anonymous McCain staffers were leaking lies to FOX News reporter Carl Cameron who repeated them without asking her for her side of the story. (A FOX reporter under the bus?! Wow.) There were stories that she had nabbed all the clothes and the RNC had to fly to Alaska to get them back. In reality she had been “ordered” (emphasis hers) to pack up the clothes, all fourteen suitcases of them and stuff them into the belly of the plane and fly it back to Wasilla. (And she’s such a good soldier, always taking orders and doing just what she’s told.)

Page 344
Then they flew people up to inventory it all. Then they Fedexed 30 boxes and 14 empty suitcases (why didn’t they just leave the clothes in the suitcases?) back to the RNC.

**********ALERT!! Mudflats Mention!!**********

I am delighted to tell you, that … yes, the name of this blog and no other was mentioned in Going Rogue, on page 344. Read it and believe.

“The media’s constant pelting reminded me of the time we kids used to go out in the canoe with Dad near the Knik mudflats early mornings before school.”

Yes, I know it’s not the blog itself, but it’s close. The way I figure it, she could have said “near the Knik River” or left that part out entirely, but perhaps…just perhaps…she had “mudlfats” on her mind for some reason… (raising one eyebrow and nodding at you in a knowing way)

Anyway, they went duck hunting…buckshot rained down on her head…bla bla bla.

The national people criticized her for not going to their fancy events. The locals criticized her for not being in Juneau.  “There’s a pothole that needs repairing on the Seward Highway! If she’s gone, who will fix it?”  (Raising hand “Ooo!  Pick me! Pick me!  The State Department of Transportation! … Was that a trick question?)  Those DemocRAT lawmakers were just a bunch of whiners who wanted mama around.  It was completely absurd.

Page 345
No matter how many times she told everyone that Alaska came first, nobody would believe her!

Turkey Gate – The local media had turned against her. The cameraman who had previously been friendly set up the camera to “capture turkeys being decapitated behind me.”

(The turkeys were NOT being decaptiated. They were being bled out into the cone of death. Get it straight.)

Her deputy press secretary was appalled! (Where were her press people when this was actually happening?)

Oh, what the heck. It’s almost Thanksgiving, so let’s travel back in time to last year….

(Wouldn’t you think that the ex-sport reporter/ex-journalist/ex-TV personality who reminds us about how journalism savvy she is at every turn, and was so careful about “hitting her mark” for the cameras during the VP debate would have noticed where she was standing? Just sayin.)

Page 346
Target – The Associated Press. A reporter said that she had to rely on notes and her commissioners to answer questions at a press conference. What a set up! And the same reporter asks her how she handled a tough week and Palin answered “A lousy week? Really?” Says Track got back from Iraq alive. Trig’s heart is doing well and the holes are closing up and he won’t need surgery, thank God. Todd is fine. Daughters are fine. Everything is fine! Life is rosy! Everything is wonderful. This lousy week was GREAT! Meanwhile the nasty fact-checkin’ national media were “sniffing around for tabloid stuff.” (You’ve been TABLOIDIZED!  see page 343)

Page 347
Target – Authors of the book ‘Sarah from Alaska’. Talks about Piper getting ambushed on the way home from school by reporters. Remember those reporters from the plane Mommy? The ones that Nicolle Wallace said didn’t like us very much? They just interviewed me on the sidewalk. (This account was later refuted by Shushannah Walshe and Scott Conroy. Can you believe they accused her of making things up?)

Complains about reporters hanging out by her house. And then… “in addition there were the ‘new media’ – the left-wing bloggers. The lines between the two were often blurred, with stories starting in the blogosphere and leap-frogging to old media channels.” (There were lots of stories that started with the bloggers, but of course she doesn’t point out that the “old media” still has to fact check all those bloggers, or that they will probably be fact checking her book. Doh!)

Her Dad’s answer to “Trig Truthers” is “I know Trig is hers, dumbass. I was there when he popped out!” (ACK! I hope that doesn’t mean what it sounds like it means… “Hey, Dad! Check it out!”)

Page 348
When the bloggers weren’t busy makin’ stuff up, they talked about looming scandals that would ruin her political career. Like the rumors she had a sex tape. (I had to look that one up, because I had never heard that one. Sure enough there was a rumor…which was debunked on September 8, 2008, about a week after the nomination.  It wasn’t started after she got back to Alaska post-election. So, you know what’s coming….)

Everything she did was scrutinized. It was “pathetic and chilling.”

And then we have, for my money, the best line in the whole book. Are you ready? Put your beverages down, and swallow your popcorn or you’re going to be wiping it off your monitor.

“I don’t like to hear people complain.”

She goes on to complain that the mainstream national media are pretty much worthless and don’t report the facts. They suffer from “the sin of omission.” (But of course, this book does not) “The time has come to acknowledge that it is counterfeit objectivity the liberal media try to sell consumers.” (Thank you Lynn Vincent.)

Page 349
Thank God there is still talk radio, and other objective sources. (Ha!)
She got grief from pro-life groups for appointing a Supreme Court Justice who wasn’t pro-life enough. She explained (after tip-toeing out of the room where Trig lay sleeping) that the system of judicial appointments in Alaska needs to be changed. She wanted them to put their energy into changing the law, so she wouldn’t ever have to nominate someone who wasn’t pro-life enough again.

Page 350
The Yankee Game
She, Todd and Willow were with Rudy Giuliani at a Yankees game. It was an unforgettable afternoon.
She went to Texas to crawl in bed with Exxon and give interviews.

Page 351
She did an interview.  The stipulation was that they would ask her about the gas line first, and not tabloid stuff.  She likes Matt Lauer. Wolf Blitzer?  She likes his mom. (zing) David Letterman told a crude joke about Willow at the baseball game. John Ziegler asked her about the joke while she was on the air and she had not heard it, so she was unprepared to give an answer. She said something and the media criticized her for not being able to take a joke. Statutory rape is not funny.

Page 352
Gossipmongers began spreading rumors that she and Todd were going to divorce. They noticed she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. But her wedding ring only cost $35 and she often didn’t wear any jewelry at all.  Todd doesn’t wear a ring either.

She watched Todd in Texas all tanned and walking around with no shirt on. “Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?” (And her criteria for the continuation of a marriage is out there for all to see. Guess Todd better keep his boyish figure, or he’s outta there!)

Page 353
Her administration was hit with a paralyzing amount of FOIA requests. Instead of her staff doing their jobs, they spend “thousands of hours and wasted more than $2 million of public monies to sort through it all one sheet at a time.”

Nice try.

Most of the requests came from Andree McLeod who is again referred to as “the falafel lady” and the Associated Press. Andree also inspired a “group of co-belligerents” who filed complaints.

Page 354
They tried to keep a sense of humor especially when her chief of staff “received a fresh complaint” saying that women in state offices wore inappropriate clothing to work. “Breasts were apparently spilling from blouses all over the 49th State and Andree demanded I do something about it!” (Notice the skillful blending of official ethics complaints and a letter written via email to Mike Nizich and Commissioner of Administration Annette Kreitzer. This email about the inappropriate dress of some state workers somehow magically ended up in a gossip column at the Anchorage Daily News…wonder how THAT happened? I covered it in a daily wrap up post, which also featured some pretty inappropriate dress by the governor herself. Remember the skimpy skirt at the memorial service for fallen soldiers? Here it is, along with the info on “cleavage gate.” When McLeod tried to see what was in the internal emails that flew around, guess what? REDACTED. The great cleavage cover-up! And if you’ll notice, the email was not directed at Palin, but at the commissioner of Administration Annette Kreitzer, so as for demanding that Palin “do something about it….)

Page 354 (continued)
You can see what Andree McLeod’s attorney, Don Mitchell had to say about his paragraph HERE. To sum it up, he basically say that yes, he’s an attorney, but other than that:

Page 354 (still continued)
Someone (Linda Kellen-Biegel) complained that she was wearing a warm winter jacket with Todd’s Iron Dog sponsor’s logo. Someone complained about a picture of her holding a fish. (I STILL have no idea what that is.) She was served with a complaint from a fake British Soap Opera character. (For the record, the form wasn’t even filled out all the way and ended up in the round file immediately, taking NO state time but getting – to use a term of Palin’s – milked for all it was worth.)

Page 355
Instead of thinking about work, all she and her staff did was deal with ethics complaints. “I had to wonder. Will I be punished for wearing these clogs, or this label on my jeans today?” (Only if your husband is making a ton of money from the clog company and you wear the clogs at an official world famous clog event that you attend officially as the governor, and pose for pictures wearing a uniform with the clog logo all over it while you’re there for a national clog magazine, and dress your entire family up in clogs that are worth hundreds of dollars a piece and don’t declare the expensive clogs as a gift, and don’t disclose how many thousands of dollars worth of clogs you’ve got stashed in your closet, not to mention your twin pair of state-of-the art clog machines and the giant clog trailer you got as a perk to haul them all around.)

She and the whole family wore the offending team uniform at the event, “proudly in front of God and FOX and everybody, so what?” (So what? You can read about the Arctic Cat saga HERE, and at Blue Oasis in the future.)

Page 356
She wanted to just pay the ethics fine and get it over with, but no… her principled and idealistic lawyer, Snidely Whiplash Thomas Van Flein would have none of it, because she didn’t do anything wrong.

People are using the system against her. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

She was “handed a megaphone” during the campaign so how can she not use it to talk about the dangerous path our nation is on? It would be selfish of her to “zip her lips.” (No, not really…)

Page 357
The megaphone is used.
Obama is bad. Stimulus is bad.
She has a teachable moment with Bristol who gets up at 4am every day to work in a coffee shop and then takes classes and takes care of her baby. The lesson is about how we should not bail out businesses using the metaphor of a coffee shop that Bristol wants to own some day. She should call it “Bristol’s Beans.”

Page 358
She fears for the future because of the DemocRAT administration. She proceeds to scare the young entrepreneur in the car by asking her to imagine trying to start Bristol’s Beans with a Democrat-led congress telling her what color roof she has to have, and what car she can drive?

Page 359
Bristol says, “Pay attention to the tea parties, Mom. You’re not alone in this.”

She knew Bristol and Tripp would be just fine because Bristol was strong, and independent and loved to work.

On the campaign trail many people were hesitant to talk about Obama’s past associations with “anti-capitalist radicals.” The press tried to tell people that was the wrong thing to do. (Imagine!)

Page 360
When she answered questions about past associations of his on the trail, she was “going rogue.” (Flipping back to the part where she said that she was told to talk about “palling around with terrorists.”)

Wealth redistribution is bad. Margaret Thatcher was good.

Page 361
Stimulus money. Fat strings attached to the money. Still spouting all the crap about universal mandated building codes that we would have to accept.

Page 362

(Is it getting hot in here, or is it me?)

Gave a speech in Fairbanks. Government is not the answer. God is the answer. She got a standing ovation but some of the legislators didn’t stand because they don’t like her. Then the DemocrAT-controlled (have I been sleeping?) legislature overrode her veto. Teabaggers make her hopeful.

Page 363
She and Todd were going broke. The McCain campaign charged her $50,000 for being vetted. (After the fact? Maybe it was just for their pain and suffering…) They asked what was left of “Headquarters” to pay it, but they said NO because they didn’t win.

One of the left’s “favorite weapons” is frivolous ethics complaints.

Page 364
Democrats were mean to Newt Gingrich because he was a movement leader. Democrats have moved to the left. Some are good but most are bad. Democrats engage in the politics of personal destruction. Democrats target people, not ideas. Democrats lodged 74 charges against Gingrich and 65 were “laughed out of committee.” (Soooo…nine were valid?) Republicans didn’t stick by Newt.

Page 365
Travelgate.
A whole lot of rationalization about why the state should have paid for her children to travel all over creation. She got 2 choices, either pay for 8 or 9 trips that were ethically questionable, or she could present her case to the Personnel Board. She chose to reimburse the state for the trips as long as she didn’t have to say she did anything wrong. But she knew how the media would “spin it.”

Page 366
Now all you hear is that “most” of the ethics complaints have been dismissed, when in reality it was all of them as soon as she paid the state back for the 8 or 9 ethically questionable family travel incidents.

Just like Democrats “neutered their nemesis” Newt, they would do the same to her. (Spay Sarah?)

The “saddest part” about travelgate was that it kept her separated from her family. Todd wouldn’t even come around the office any more. Now they had to minimize their trips. She, Piper and Trig were in Juneau and the rest were in Wasilla. It wasn’t fair. (If I remember correctly, Juneau has been the capital for quite some time now, and I think that most governors know that when they take the job. But at least we get to hear this beautiful violin solo.)

Page 368
Then the insane ethics complainers started objecting to the state paying for her state  staff to travel around the country with her on campaign events while she tried to run the state via Blackberry. (What DO we have a Lt. Governor for, anyway?) The lefties must be reading “Rules for Radicals.”

The “thumpin’” that she was getting was apparently coming from Rahm Emmanuel.

****uproarious laughter break*******

Page 369
Troopergate (even though it started well before she was tapped for VP spot) was orchestrated by Obama! (Oh, dear God. How many pages left??) The White House must have been whispering in Walt Monegan’s ear. The “Independent” investigator (who was chosen by a bipartisan committee and is NO liberal) came up with a “strained and nonsensical” decision. (read: guilty of abusing her power under the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act)

Page 370
It wasn’t until the day before the election (what timing!) that the Personnel Board “dismissed the ethics charges surrounding Troopergate. That circus was finally over.” (Actually, as you Mudflats faithful readers know, the 3-person governor appointed Personnel Board found her not guilty of the charges she filed against HERSELF. They in no way supercede the conclusion of the Legislative investigation that found her guilty. She just chooses to believe THAT one.)

She wonders aloud what former State Senator Kim Elton did “to earn his new job in Washington.” (Wow.)

***********break until hackles return to normal position**************

Todd said don’t let the bastards get you down (in Latin). If it were only her it would be one thing, but the media wouldn’t leave her kids alone.

[Ooo! Pictures! In color, no less. Blueberry picking, running with jogging stroller, Willow in fireweed, modeling fur hats, Iron Dog, Praying at Easter brunch, a moose sticking its head in the door (Don't go in!!!), Playing hockey with Piper, group shot in native garb, local parade, bar in Chicken, voting, first day in governor's office, inauguration ceremony, dancing at the governor's ball, reading to Trig, Track and Sarah, Piper's birthday in the capitol building, signing of AGIA, Chuck & Sally Heath in front of old log cabin that used to be a house of prostitution, Track and Todd at Ft. Benning, GOP convention in Minneapolis, Chuck & Sally with Henry Kissinger, Jim & Faye Palin at GOP convention, Chuck Heath talks to the press (THAT always goes well...), Anchorage Airport departure, Moose antlers in the cockpit of the campaign plane, Piper talking to George W. Bush on a cell phone, Ground Zero with firefighters, campaign bus, Mark Wallace yelling at her during debate prep, "Good laughs" with Lindsey Graham, Joe Lieberman and John McCain (I feel nauseous), heading to VP debate, Courageous American Hank Williams Jr. and Iditarod champ Martin Buser, She and Cindy and "band of merry followers," Piper talking into a microphone, Country First rally, 1-25th's deployment ceremony, rally in Missouri, voting in Wasilla, more voting, concession speech (no not HERS...), Lounging by the pool w/ napping Trig and Blackberry, She and Piper in full Arctic Cat regalia, and a totally adorable picture of Todd lying on the ground with Trig chewing on his head while Tripp grabs his face. That one actually makes me like Todd. They showed it during Oprah, and the whole audience went "Awwwwww!"]

Oh no….back to the words again.

Page 371 (previously posted)
Bristol was criticized for going on the abstinence tour and her “pragmatic” position that the only way to make sure you don’t get pregnant is not to have sex.  She graduated high school with great grades, is taking college courses and works two part time jobs to pay for diapers and formula. But you don’t read about that. (Should I erase this then?) Partisan bloggers questioned Track’s enlistment in the army.

A fake Planned Parenthood ad was mean to Trig. So was someone who “Photoshopped distorted images over Trig’s pretty face in order to make him look monstrous.” (Err… that would be putting local radio shock jock Eddie Burke’s face on Trig’s body to show how cozy he and Palin are. Eddie Burke? Monstrous?? Well, Ok… You can see the original monstrous Burke photo and his  shrunken monstrous tiny head HERE. How many people get mad when their body is put on someone else’s head, vs. their head getting put on someone else’s body. It isn’t about the body! It’s about the head! But that doesn’t make a good story.)

Page 372
Someone said she was using her baby as a prop. She was mortally offended. Other politicians have their children on stage. She’s a proud mom. Just because you’re running for office doesn’t mean you have to “switch off your maternal instincts.”

To answer your next question:  41 degrees.

Kris Perry wanted to quit because she got a FOIA request an hour after her father-in-law passed away. She didn’t want to deal with the “hit squad”.

Page 373
She felt like quitting too. Her approval ratings plummeted from nearly 90% to 56% during the “one-sided public discourse” about her ethics issues. (Hmm. I seem to remember lots of press releases coming from the governor’s office, and lots of press covering her side of the story. And it’s 48%.) Slowly everything was “shot to hell.”

The bloggers won. Everyone just assumed she was guilty because “where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” But in her case there was lots of black billowing smoke, but no fire at all. The “liberal mentality” is that even if you’re innocent, it doesn’t matter, you’ll go broke eventually.

Page 374
She’s worried that the way things are set up, it will discourage good people from running for office. (Umm.. has any other Alaskan governor ever had this problem?)

Kristan Cole set up the Alaska Fund Trust (Legal Defense Fund) without any assistance or input from her. There is an ongoing investigation on the fund and she has gotten no money from it. (Even though its legality is in question, she still continues to accept donations which can be used for her OR any member of her family or her staff for anything.)

She can take anything – personal pain, loss of reputation, financial hardship, but she cannot take the harm to…. Alaska. Nobody had ever been able to tell her to sit down and shut up, but now it had happened. It would never stop. So, a hobbling lame duck that couldn’t take watching her precious Alaska suffer, she did the noble thing. She passed the ball, after she prayed about it.

Page 375
Enter Track, again.
Track knows all. He knows that she doesn’t want to put her family through this. Track knows she wants to protect them. Track knows she doesn’t want to let those idiots run her off. But Track has seen his sister be humiliated by…..her former boyfriend who went on a “fact-free kiss-and-tell media tour.” (And Levi finally makes an appearance on page 375. And he doesn’t even get a name mention. He must know something.) And Track knows he’s making things up.

She responds. But, Track… think of the troops! “The shots that really hurt are felt by people losing their livelihoods, losing a loved one in battle…”

But Track says you don’t quit. Don’t be a quitter! You only leave if you move up to something “more worthy.”

Page 376
But isn’t protecting your little brother and sister more worthy, Track?  What about revealing truth? What about “breaking free of the bureaucratic shackles that are now paralyzing our state?” Isn’t that more worthy? (OMG…when will it be over?!? 5 more pages… I know I can make it. I’m not a quitter!)

I’m not a quitter Track, I’m not. (Yes you are.) But I know what I have to do. (Quit.)

Track says he’ll pray for her. She tells him to fast for a day. He says no.  She says that he shouldn’t “cuss” for a day. Impossible. Finally, they settle on the holy act of no chew for a day. And that, apparently “was a big darn deal.” (A 24-hour chewing tobacco fast… Something we can all aspire to.)

She wasn’t sleeping well thinking about going with the flow and collecting a pay check, and padding her resume (with a full term?).

Page 377
A lame duck session would not help Alaska. “If I die, I die.” Doesn’t need a title to effect change…

On July 3, she quit. Beautiful day, shimmering lake. Family by her side (no Bristol). Her dad said, “She’s not retreating, she’s reloading.” She “wanted to leave no doubt that she wasn’t running from political shots.” (HUH? Isn’t that exactly what she just said she was running from?? Gah! 4 more pages…)

Page 378
When she took the job, she wanted to be held accountable for doing her job, not to have to prove that she is Trig’s mom. (Wouldn’t a birth certificate have done that in 5 seconds? While she’s at it, she can sign the Juneteenth proclamation governor’s must legally sign, and get rid of that complaint.  She could kill 2 birds in 30 seconds.)

Her quitter speech was broadcast nationwide. She didn’t expect that. People speculated about why she quit. “What a bunch of buffoons.” She turned off the TV and ate cake.

The same people who wanted her out, were now outraged.   (I ate cake.)

Page 379
Mainstream media stalked her parents and asked questions about why she quit and if there was an FBI investigation. The FBI said there wasn’t. “Poor press. At that moment the B in “FBI” stood for “Buzz kill.”
(Pleeeease, make it stop! 2 more pages…don’t….know..if I can…make it…)

She went to Dillingham to “slay salmon.”

Secretly (except in this best-selling book) she wanted to see “the likes of Andrea Mitchell” be forced to watch her being happy and content with her family.

Page 380
The last time she saw Mitchell it was with (name drop alert) Fred Malek, Dick Cheney, Alan Greenspan, Dianne Feinstein, Madeleine Albright, Walter Isaacson, Jeb Bush and John McCain. Now she wanted to see her covered in fish slime and “banging around in a skiff, stuck in the mud, trying to pull themselves over the bow.” (Nice. Who would Jesus slime?)

They issued an open invitation to all the press except CBS. Whoever employs “the perky one” doesn’t even deserve the slime. Piper taught them how to drive a boat. They couldn’t believe there was no scandal and no “greedy grasp for money” (except the book deal). It was all for Alaska.

Page 381
But they didn’t believe her. Mary Matalin was the only one who got it right by saying she’d disarm her opponents and it would free her up to raise a lot of money “for worthy causes.” The water was calm and the day was sunny “so – dang it – none of them got slimed.”

************************************

DONE WITH CHAPTER 5! That was the most painful one so far by a long shot. Oy. (rubbing temples in a circular motion) I literally have a twitch in my eye. I’m not kidding.

Remaining is a 12-page chapter called “The Way Forward.” That must be the brilliant policy pamphlet Rush Limbaugh talked about. Then there’s a 7 page epilogue. Then a 4-page thing about Alaska by some guy. Then 5 pages of acknowledgments. Then it’s over. Really and truly over. We should have this wrapped up in the next 24 hours.

Page 293
Then there was an orchestrated photo op where they made her look like she was picking out a suit to wear. (So, if you saw that picture, remember it doesn’t mean she likes clothes. They made her do it.) “Cameras continued to flash.” The suit guy was called “the Candy Man” because his parents own some giant gourmet chocolate company. (Hmm. Sounds “elite!”) He kept the bus stocked with gourmet chocolate and everyone loved him.

Page 294 (previously posted)
Steve Schmidt drops the f-bomb while Piper is in the room sitting in the corner drinking diet soda. She was busy trying to focus on the economy and free-market principles and Israel, but people were mad and stomping around and caking makeup on her and raising her hair to new heights. So she had to pray. She called Piper over to pray with her that she’d win the debate and Piper said that was “cheating.”

Page 295 (previously posted)
The same woman that led her down the hall to the debate did the same thing for Geraldine Ferraro in 1984. She thinks Geraldine Ferraro is great and Ferraro called her during the campaign to thank her for the “shout out” to her contribution to political history because nobody else ever did.

Page 296
She was out on stage on her mark exactly on time. But no Joe Biden. He was late because he was still “on Senate time.” Or perhaps it was all planned…a rotten trick just to throw her off her game.

She tried to catch his eye to give him a friendly nod, just to acknowledge that “Hey, ultimately we’re all on the same team. Go U.S.A.!” But Senator Biden not only didn’t make eye contact but he had on a “game face.” (Oooooo.) Then she goes on to describe the Senator stretching out before the debate. “Then the neck rolls started, presumably to get rid of all that nasty tension from being the front-runner. After that the senator from Delaware began stretching his quads, grabbing his dress shoe and pulling it up behind his designer suited rear-end.” (Who would Jesus mock with a sharp tongued nasty venemous paragraph designed to embarrass and humiliate them in a best-selling book? And here I thought we were all on the same team… Go USA!)

Page 297
They pushed her out on stage five seconds earlier than they were supposed to so she could symbolically meet him in “his turf” on his side of the stage, and the staffer told her to remember, “hair plugs!”

Ended her final statement with a quote from Ronald Reagan. Again. Then she met Joe Biden and his family on stage afterwards. His wife and daughters and granddaughters are beautiful.

Page 298
Reporters asked her what she thought about the campaign pulling out of Michigan. She said she wished they weren’t pulling out of Michigan because every American counts…bla bla bla. She had no idea that disagreeing with campaign strategy to the press was a big deal. They thought it was a huge deal.

She still didn’t think it was a big deal and hoped “Headquarters” would just get over it. They didn’t. Some staffer told the press she was “going rogue.” (And poof! The title of the book. Guess the whole “it’s not a good thing” point was lost.)

Page 299
A VP stop that had been planned in Michigan was cancelled. She was disappointed and she suggested to the campaign that the next time they were near Michigan they should just “pass the hat for gas money” and do a pop in…you know, maybe hold a quick grass roots rally. She thought this would be a great idea and get more votes. She also thought it would be “mavericky.” (Yes, she used that word.)

But you can guess what “Headquarters” said. They said NO. It was really strange, this sudden push-back they were getting. What could be wrong? She thought about sneaking across the border into Michigan without permission. But after Nicolle Wallace said, “Welcome to the pirate ship,” she decided that if they “didn’t want their throats cut” they’d better stick with the script, whatever THAT was. Sheesh. (Stop for a second and imagine what a nightmare it must have been to work on the McCain campaign. If it weren’t for the fact that he chose this woman without bothering to vet her, I’d feel sorry for him.”

The campaign plane was full of signs now from people across the nation – “Heels on Gloves Off” and “Come Back to Michigan!”

Page 300
Her dad gave the pilots moose antlers to stick up in the cockpit. The Democrats got lots of attention because of the “steady stream of liberal stars beating a path to Obama’s door.” She wanted celebrities too, like Kid Rock because he is “very pro-America.” (As opposed to the liberal stars who are very…. what?) Name drops stars who may or may not be happy to forever be tied to her at this point – Robert Duvall, Jon Voight, Janine Turner, Gretchen Wilson, …

Page 301
… Hank Williams Jr., John Rich, Naomi Judd (not like that other Judd…), Lee Greenwood, Mike Ditka, Brady Quinn, Aaron Tippin, the Bellamy Brothers, and the Orange County Choppers.

She was tempted to ride away on a “hot custom-made bike” honoring POWs and MIAs, but Headquarters wouldn’t have liked it.

Page 302
She was showering one morning and Rick Warren called. She turned off the water so he wouldn’t know she was in the shower. (This is where all the Republican men are supposed to get an image of her standing in the shower. Note they’ve had a whole page to recover after picturing her on a ‘hot’ military-themeed bike.) He prayed for her.

She kept in touch with people on the trail, like another boy like Trig who had “scored an extra chromosome.” (Yipee) He asked that she not call him “darling.”

Page 303
More name-dropping – Dennis Miller, Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammer, and John Ratzenberger. A vet gave her a bracelet that belonged to his buddy who was killed. Why couldn’t they pay less attention to celebrities and big donors and focus on everyday folks?

Page 304
She got tired of having her picture taken with Trig and party donors, and having people asking Piper to call their relatives on their cell phone. Why so much time with “friends of John?” She longed for the regular people.

Enter – Joe the Plumber.

Page 305
Joe reminded her of people in Wasilla. (Dear people in Wasilla who will now forever be compared to Joe the Plumber, I am SO sorry…) People started waving signs, “I’m Jose the Hairdresser,” etc. The media were mean to Joe the Plumber and tore him apart for not knowing anything. But guess who came to his defense? (drumroll please) Tito the Builder! He said, “Why the hell are you going after Joe the Plumber?” Someone from Mother Jones said the press coverage was reasonable. But Tito and a “feisty African American woman in the crowd hit back.”

Page 306
The African American lady brought up William Ayers. People started shouting “I Am Joe the Plumber!” Tito the Builder did not sit down and shut up.

Headquarters told her to say that Obama was “palling around with terrorists,” and she was happy to be the one to deliver that message to the American people.

Page 307
The “left-wing nuts” accused her of “lowdown rhetoric unworthy of presidential politics.” (Yup.) When there was blowback, the folks at headquarters just ducked and let her take the heat, which of course she was happy to do because the campaign didn’t go far enough with that kind of talk, in her opinion.

She wanted to also bring up “Jeremiah ‘God Damn America’ Wright” but they wouldn’t let her. She will “forever question the campaign from prohibiting discussion of such associations.” (How about McCain and G. Gordon Liddy, or Todd and the Alaska Independence Party? Or Pastor Thomas Muthee, while we’re at it…since we’re talking about pastors.)

Page 308
They did a “Joe the Plumber Tour” in Virginia. Tito the Builder was there. Nguyen the Grocer, Theresa the Teacher, Tom the Real Estate Agent, Greg the Teleprompter Guy, Wendy the Waitress. She met Suzanne the cafe owner who gave her cookies. She’d been a struggling waitress and “had no doubt that she might someday be there again.” (Really? How’s the book deal working out for you? Or can I expect you to be serving my eggs over easy at Village Inn soon?)

She dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween once. She had liked SNL and snuck around to watch it so her parents wouldn’t catch her. From the very beginning she liked the idea that she and John might appear on the show. “Let’s do this! Let’s go on and neutralize some of this and have some fun!” But of course, there was “massive back and forth haggling with the McCain campaign.”

Why the flaming pants? Because that claim is refuted by an actual campaign email from Palin herself that says the exact opposite.

Page 309
You can not only see Russia from Alaska, you can swim there. (Please, just let it go.)

Finally, when it was too late to say no, “Headquarters” FINally allowed her to do the show. (See flaming pants above) She didn’t have the script until the day of the show. She was really worried that it wouldn’t be funny, so she decided to write her own jokes where she could pretend to be a reporter and ask Tina Fey things like, “What happens if the moose were given guns? It wouldn’t be so easy then, eh?” “What do you use for newspapers up in Alaska, tree bark?” She sent in her suggestions but “somebody smacked ‘em down.” (Wow. And the moose joke was just hilarious. Those SNL people wouldn’t know brilliant comedy if it shot ‘em in the ass … like a moose with a gun. Get it?)

Page 310
They were afraid that Tina Fey’s liberal politics would make her ad lib something insulting that would “stick like a burr.” Palin wasn’t worried that Tina Fey would be unprofessional but heck, Lorne Michaels knew her better than she did, so…

Tucker Eskew laughed his ass off at the script but she didn’t think it was funny. They had actually turned “Drill, Baby, Drill” into a risque double-entendre! It was Bristol’s birthday so they got cupcakes and she ate six of them. (Who needs a dietician?! The Atkins bars and the cupcakes just neturalize each other out. Wash ‘em down with diet soda or a sugar-free Red Bull and there’s your meal!)

She and Tina Fey had a “mom moment” when Fey’s daughter got confused about who was who.

Page 311
They whisked her off to a “tiny windowless dressing room.” (I suppose all the sprawling palatial dressingrooms with sweeping views of Manhattan were taken)

Amy Poehler came in and she and Bristol compared pregnant bellies and talked about pregnancy stuff.

Page 312
She liked the Sarah Palin rap song they did. The guy wearing Arctic Cat regalia looked just like Todd. She still hears Piper wandering around the house rapping, “You say Obama, I say Ayers! Obama…Ayers! Obama….Ayers!” (Aww. That Piper is so sweet and percocious.)

Page 313
Oliver Stone was there. “Unbelievably he is a supporter of Communist dictator Hugo Chavez” who called Bush the devil! She did not shake his hand. (Yes, can you imagine showing such disrespect for the president of the United States? Next thing we’ll find out is that he let his 7-year old run around the house doing some kind of insulting rap song about him.)

Then there was Alec Baldwin. She came up with some real “gotcha zingers” that she wanted to say to him, but they wouldn’t let her. So, it was watered down.

Page 314
Wardrobe Gate. Lies all lies. Especially the part about her being a “pampered princess.”

Page 315
The evil Katie Couric talked about the wardrobe. Everybody did. People who knew her laughed out loud at the thought that anyone would call her a “diva.” Her family was made to sound like a pack of hillbillies who had come to the big city. She shops at Costco. She buys generic peanut butter. It was sexist because no other candidate was being asked about their wardrobe.

Page 316
When they were picking on her, nobody talked about the fact that she always wears a flag pin, and a blue star pin for Track. She wore a jacket that day that she bought in a used clothing store.
She would have been happy to wear her own closthes but when Charlie Gibson was interviewing her in Alaska, Nicolle Wallace went through her closet and hated everything and was mean and made her feel bad. But she snuck a couple things in the suitcase and brought them on the trail anyway.

She explained the whole clothing story on the trail to reporters, but went “off-script, and said it was all the RNC and that none of the clothes were hers.

Page 317 (previously posted)
The campaign was mad. They accused her of “going rogue” again and there was more yelling. The campaign knew how she felt about the clothes, but nobody defended her or spoke up for her. They just hung her out to twist in the wind. She realized that this was because some of the higher ups in the campaign were already “packing their parachutes” and she was going to be the scape goat.

Page 318 (Previously posted)
To this day, Randy Schueneman won’t say all the bad things about Schmidt and what he was saying about her. But she did find out that he thought she was screwing up and not doing her homework and might be suffering from post-partum depression. Randy said this was ridiculous and that he didn’t believe anything of the kind. So she figured out that all the McCain staffers were collecting half-truths and lies and saving them up so that when they lost, they could all blame her for everything. She just knew it.

Page 319 (previously posted)
CNN reported that her going off script “irked” McCain aides. Randy got mad and demanded to talk to Steve Schmidt.

Page 320 (previously posted)
Schmidt and Scheunemann argued. Schueneman good – Schmidt bad. Implies that Schmidt &/or Wallace was the leaker of the lies to make her look bad. Schmidt said she was an awful pick because of the clothes, the postpartum problems, and “legal exposure for Todd on Troopergate, whatever he meant by that.” (Could he have meant that Todd was found in contempt of the Senate for ignoring a legislative subpoena to testify in an ethics probe? And that he was asked to do this by the Attorney General of the state? Perhaps?)

Page 321 (previously posted)
Schmidt said if there were any more leaks critical of the handling of Sarah Palin, he’d leak more bad information about her. She didn’t know any of that at the time, and Schmidt denies it to this day. But even though Schmidt is a rat bastard and she’s been eviscerating him throughout the entire book, life is too short to hold a grudge and if she sees him again, maybe she’ll give him a “pretty white Peace Lily.”

(head bang)

Page 322
She wanted to give a speech on special needs families. Headquarters actually said OK. They had a special needs coordinator who wrote a speech. She was told not to say “speical needs people” because special needs people found it offensive. She rewrote the speech. “Too often state and federal laws add to their challenges, instead of removing barriers.” Her “little fella” sleeps through all the speeches and rallies.

“You know there are the world’s standards of perfection, and then there are God’s and these are the final measure.”

Page 323
“The truest measure of society is how it treats those who are most vulnerable.” (Socialism?) Wants to redirect $18 billion a year to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. (On a side note, Barack Obama’s dreaded stimulus package put $24 billion to the effort.)

The speech didn’t get promoted but that was OK, because “I didn’t want that for my own sake, Lord knows, but it needed to be shared.”

She gave two more speeches, one on energy and one on women’s issues. Neither were promoted by the campaign which she said was a “surprising stragegy.” She guesses Headquarters had already given up. (On her.)

Page 324
Piper wanted to be a snow princess for Halloween. (Is a “snow princess” the daughter of an Ice Queen?) She wanted to take the kids trick or treating, and the campaign sent them to a neighborhood of swing voters. She was upset that this might become just a photo op because the kids had been so patient, going to school in Alaska during the week and flying to campaign stops on the weekend.

Here’s the link to a Matt Lauer video interview with Piper who says the rallies were ”the hardest part,” she missed “a LOT” of school, and it was “really hard” to catch up.

Page 325
Halloween -
Piper the snow princess, Trig the elephant (GOP?), and her as Tina Fey again. (Does anyone else remember this? And what would the costume be?) They went trick or treating to a couple houses, but soon the phalanx of photographers and the secret service guys tipped people off and the crowd forced them to stop after a few houses. The Secret Service had to check Piper’s candy and take anything that wasn’t wrapped. Piper glared at him, and said it was “the worst Halloween ever.”

Page 326
But then they threw a Halloween party on the plane and the kids got candy and Piper was happy again and sat in the back with the reporters eating as much candy as she wanted. (At least she drinks diet soda.) She stayed up all night.

Page 327
Prank phone call from fake Nicholas Sarkozy

The phone call was all set up, and she wished she’d paid attention in French class. (Or to the fact that Nicholas Sarkozy doesn’t actually speak English) He said some strange things including that he wanted to go hunting from a helicopter with her. This, of course is ridiculous because everyone knows that people in Alaska don’t shoot wolves from helicopters like everyone’s been told. That’s a total myth. (They do shoot wolves from airplanes, but that wasn’t mentioned.)

She tried to play along. She kept laughing and giggling because she didn’t want to insult the president of France. She thought he was drunk.

Page 328
When she finally was told by the caller that she’d been pranked by a radio station, “the merde hit the fan.” One of the first calls was from Schmidt “and the force of his screaming blew my hair back. ‘How can anyone be so stupid?!’” (Actually it was done via email to campaign aides.

Oh those pesky leaked emails again!)

Page 329
Tucker Eskew was freaking out. Everyone was freaking out. She thought it was no big deal and they just needed to “dust off and move on.”

Page 330
There were lots of rallies in the final week. The family went off in all directions talking to people. She flew home to vote in Alaska. She voted in what used to be her second grade classroom, and wore the same wardrobe she often wore back then – “jeans, a Carhartt jacket and a relieved smile.” Others might think that voting in her classroom was coincidence. But she thought it was a Providential path and “a miracle.”

Page 331
Headquarters didn’t want her talking to locals or reporters and called to tell her to get back in the truck. She thought, “Nah, not this time,” and did it anyway.

She thought the election was still winable for the GOP. But God had a plan. So, she got back in the black Suburban and “consciously handed her future over to God.”

Page 332 (previously posted)
She worked on two speeches – one victory and one concession. Everyone else knew McCain was toast but the “B Team wouldn’t give up.” She just wanted to say thank you to John McCain and that she and her family are proud to be Americans and….. “also wanted to say a word – finally – in appreciation of the Bush/Cheney administration’s efforts.” (No, I’m not kidding)

Every possible relative and friend including Iditarod musher Martin Buser had flown down from little towns all over Alaska. They endured a long plane flight just to be together.

Page 333 (previously posted)
Some day she’ll be able to make it up to her family and friends for not having enough time for them during the campaign. They lost the election even though they had the better message for America. But at least, she had one thing….she knew that despite the heartbreak, she’d be able to stand before the American people and tell them to keep fighting for what is right as she delivered…her speech! But then…

Page 334 (previously posted)
The B Team was stunned! Was it possible? “Headquarters” said no speech! Unbelievable! She gets called to McCain’s suite and told by senior staffers, no speech. But the speech is great! No speech. But it honors John! No speech. Don’t think of it as a concession speech, think of it as… NO SPEECH.

Page 335 (previously posted)
It wasn’t her idea to write the speech. Matthew Scully wrote the speech. Everyone knew about it and thought it was great. But “Headquarters” micromanaged everything and botched it yet again, and kept her all bottled up right to the end.

Page 336 (previously posted)
John McCain tells her he’s going to thank America. She says “I want to thank YOU!” He says, NO SPEECH. She finally gets that there will be no speech. Time to get on stage, but she’s not ready and doesn’t know where the giant entourage from all across Alaska is. She wants to go on stage with the whole family – all five generations, and cousins, and everyone. She walks on stage with Todd and everyone she could find at the time and still has the speech wadded up in her hand.

Page 337 (previously posted)
No kids and no Todd allowed on stage, she is told. “Piper wasn’t thrilled when I had to shoo her and her cousins away. Todd came on stage anyway.” McCain gives speech and she embraces him in gratitude.

Page 338-339 (previously posted)
During the post-election party reporters who usually look for “inside stories” on the campaign already had them because McCain staffers had been leaking made up negative stories about her and her family to the press for use after the election.

Post-election poolside moment with family, Kris Perry, Mike Nizich (her chief of staff) and his wife, and Meg Stapleton. Nicolle Wallace tells Todd to prepare for things to get nasty because of leaked stories. How would she know that?, Palin muses, fingering Wallace as the source of the leaky lies about her. (If Nicolle Wallace didn’t want to beat the stuffing out of her before, she certainly does now.)

(Less than 100 pages to go! The end is in sight!)

A “Free Sarah” campaign had started. (I remember that well… Would that they had succeeded. Would have made the opposition research job a lot easier! Or at the very least, somebody should have started a Free Todd campaign.)

The scheming, evil Nicolle Wallace wanted her to talk to Katie Couric, but she wanted to talk to FOX News because she thought they’d be friendlier. (Ya think?)

Page 256 (Posted previously)
Disembowelling Nicolle Wallace. She’s the one who insisted on Couric. And on top of that she spoke badly of George W. Bush. Didn’t like her job in the White House either. (Can you imagine? Talking smack about people you used to work with? How low class.) They wouldn’t let Palin give a “shout out” to George W. Bush for keeping us safe after he didn’t on 9/11. Wallace said Couric needed a career boost, and suffered from low self-esteem. “She wants people to like her. She wants you to like her.” Palin began to feel sorry for poor Katie Couric and decided to do the interview.

Page 257 (Posted previously)
She was on a “media blackout” and not allowed to talk to anyone so she had a friend in Anchorage give her phone numbers and she snuck phone calls against the wishes of the campaign to (drumroll please) Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and someone she thought was Larry Kudlow but turned out to be Neal Cavuto’s producer. (She’s not really good with figuring out who’s on the other end of the phone. Just ask Nicholas Sarkozy.) Had friends trying to call Bill O’Reilly and Mark Levin.

Wanted to talk to reporters in the back of the plane, but Headquarters said “No! Absolutely not! Block her if she tries to go back!” (Gee, what could they have been worried about?)

Some campaign person named Tracey was an endearing multitasking dingbat who couldn’t keep her purse and her laptop straight. She made a giant screw up but Sarah wasn’t mad at her even though everyone else was. (How is it that even the people she likes get thrown under the bus)

Page 258
Tracey tried to do good, but her hands were tied by “headquarters.”
Even though the campaign was instructed to ankle tackle her if she tried to open her yap to the press on the plane, she sent the kids back to talk to the press. I guess that was so the press would stay away from her kids. Piper handed out heart-shaped stickers to reporters that said, “Vote for Piper’s Mom.”

*****SHATNER MOMENT!**********
In New England and other parts of America, fall foliage burns in the colors of fire, but autumn in Alaska shimmers in white and gold. By mid-September the birch leaves have turned from bright green to rich yellows and golds, and the mountaintops are powdered with “termination dust,” the first snows that signal summers end. The alpenglow is pinker on the mountains late in the evening, casting the prettiest light.”
*****END OF SHATNER MOMENT*******

Page 259
She wanted to be at Track’s deployment ceremony in Fairbanks, but the campaign was worried that she’d screw it up. Tucker Eskew “stuck to her like gum on a shoe,” and was always there right after she spoke out loud to tell her how she screwed up.

The campaign finally relented and let her go.

Page 260
She sat under an awning, but she longed for the sunshine. As usual, she heard a military band and choked up. A repeat of her saying “They sure do look alike!” and someone else saying “That’s the point!”

Track did not want attention and did not want to be singled out, and told her that whatever she did, she was not to yell “Hoo-ahh,” because he didn’t want to be embarrassed because she’d mispronounce it. (How do you mispronounce hoo-ahh? Perhaps she had only seen it in print and had never heard anyone actually sayt it.)

Page 261
“Headquarters” wanted to see her speech first so they could make sure she wouldn’t screw up. “Throughout the campaign the “Schmidt-Wallace tag team would continually invoke the all-powerful “headquarters,” a mysterious, faraway entity whose exacte identity and location were never fully explained.” (Hmm. The Scmidt-Wallace tag team didn’t want to have to argue with her about every stupid thing perhaps? And imagine, talking about the will of a mysterious all-knowing higher power to get your way so you don’t have to explain yourself…. Sarah Palin would never do that.)

Page 262
A town hall meeting was held in which John McCain really connected with the common people. So did she. They both loved town hall meetings but “they” kept wanting larger campaign events….sigh. When will they learn to listen to her? Michigan is a state filled with hard-working, patriotic Americans.

Page 263
Steve “the evil” Schmidt looked grim. There was bad news. Had one of those creepy reporters near her house “crossed the line between reporting and invading privacy?”

Her Yahoo email account had been hacked. Her personal email was showing up on the internet. The hacker was posting photos of her family, but not apparently all the state business she’d been conducting on that personal account. It was a “fine-how-do-you-do” to the “blood sport of presidential politics.”

She panicked! Think of all those other things she said that could now be made public! Like, talking about Bristol’s pregnancy, or discussing the challenges of their special needs child, or that prayer she wrote before Track deployed, or how she told Willow that she wasn’t allowed to get a ride home from a high school boy! Think of all those private messages perfectly confirming all of her family values talking points! (Excuse me while I go brush my teeth.)

Page 264
What kind of creep would do this? Why the son of a DemocRAT state legislator in Tennessee. The McCain campaign was sure that whatever was in her emails would destroy the campaign. (Gee, wonder why?) She could no longer communicate with any of her children or her staff because of the incident. It was the most disruptive incident of the campaign.

Page 265
They went to The Villages, a retirement community in Florida. They didn’t use cars, but “toodled around” in golf carts that were “jacked up” to fit the owner’s personality.

Page 266
There were miles of people toodling in jacked up golf carts. The golf carts were triple parked. There were billions of golf carts. The carts were parked bumper to bumper. People were flagging in the toodlers to makeshift parking areas. (I’m asking myself how many Main St. everyday, hard-working Americans who know what it’s like to struggle have personalized golf carts?)

Page 267
Piper wanted to address the crowd of 50,000 people. She said thanks for letting them be there. Sarah’s “face was sliding off” because it was humid. She worked the rope line for an hour and a half. “They” thought it was too long, but she wanted to connect with the “every day Americans” who turned out. One kid skipped school and she pretended to scold him but then gave him a thumbs up.

Page 268
She “signed everything in sight.” The secret service was freaked out, but despite her paralyzing fear about the emails and the reporters camped out near her house and what they might do, she wasn’t worried about an assassination attempt on li’l old “Sarah Palin from Wasilla.”

When they left, they were followed by hundreds of golf carts meeping their horns, and people waving lipstick tubes.

She found out later that the campaign thought she was being uncooperative by spending too much time with the people. She had hoped they would understand that the voters were important but they just wanted to hustle her along to the next campaign stop because they didn’t care about the people. But, the people loved her. They followed her into Walmart and had a spontaneous rally. Love, love, love.

Page 269 (previously posted)
They chose “Country First” as a slogan to counteract the “Blame America First” attitude of Obama/Biden. Especially after Michelle Obama’s comment that she was proud of her country for the first time in her adult lifetime, which Palin thought was an “incomprehensible statement.”

The economy tanked and McCain suspended his campaign to fix it. She had no idea what was going on and heard about it on the news. Nobody ever told her anything.

Page 270 (previously posted)
The presidential debate went on as planned. McCain did great, but the media gave it to Obama, trying to convince everyone that McCain was irritable and condescending. “Granted, 90% of the newspeople covering the event were liberal.”

When the economy tanked so did their poll numbers. It happened at the same time as her “seemingly endless serial chat with the lowest-rated news anchor in network television CBS’s Katie Couric.” (Oh, the Junior High, I remember it well…) Charlie Gibson came north but wasn’t that interested in her day to day life as the governor of Alaska.

Page 271 (previously posted)
She and Charlie came upon a group of moose hunters who wanted a picture. Charlie thought they wanted one of him, but they wanted him to take one of them and her. They went to Wasilla High School and people wanted a picture. Charlie thought they wanted one of him, but they wanted him to take one of them and her. The people just love her, and have no time for the media elite. Did they even know who he was? He was grumpy during the interview later.

Katie Couric – “where does she begin?” She choked on some responses. She was harried. She allowed herself to show irritation and annoyance with “repetetive biased questions.” Thought it would be an easy interview about motherhood. It’s unfortunate it was mocked. She thought it would be the only one.

Page 272 (previously posted)
First interview. She was anxious to have it over. She let her annoyance show. Nicolle Wallace said the interview was great. She knew it wasn’t. But Wallace scheduled another one even though she must have known it made her look bad. Why would she schedule another one when the first one went so badly? (dramatic moment) As Palin walks away, she turns to see Wallace and Kouric HUGGING and posing for pictures.

CBS took hours of footage on the campaign trail and only used the bad stuff, and left all her brilliance on the cutting room floor.

Page 273 (previously posted)
They cut out the part where she said she was all about alternative energy AND drill baby drill. They cut out the part where she said that “anti-development radicals” Photoshopped pictures of ANWR to look like it was a lush rainforest with “Bambi prancing to and fro”, when really it’s just a lot of flat ugly empty space. It’s yucky and if we knew how yucky it was, we’d just want to drill the hell out of it.

Page 274 (previously posted)
More about barren desolate permanently frozen ANWR. Couric edited out all the good stuff, but left in all the bad stuff. The whole “you can see Russia” moment was simply an attempt at putting the question in a “geographical context.” She was cut off before she could really answer the question. She wishes she had done that. Oh, there are so many things she wishes she would have said to prove how competent she was. But Katie interrupted her before she could talk about it all. And she talked to Canada on a weekly basis. Also.

Page 275 (previously posted)
The melting polar sea ice has opened up fabulous new trade routes, but alas it has also increased security threats. (No mention though of global warming or polar bears or melting permafrost) Restates that yes, you can see Russia from Alaska. Just in case anyone was still unclear about that.

Couric wasn’t interested in talking about Alaska’s economy or Alaska’s wildlife management issues, can you believe it? She had her own agenda. When she talked about them anyway, it was cut. Putin in our air space was only a metaphor. She just wanted the gotcha moments. That was her goal. And it worked.

Page 276 (posted previously)
She finished shaking hands on the rope line. She was pumped and sweaty and wanted a Diet Dr. Pepper, (is she getting free Diet Dr. Pepper for product placement or something?) but there she was again with a microphone. When Couric asked what she reads, she tried not to react to the “condescension” but was unsucessful. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to – or as some have ludicrously suggested, couldn’t answer her question; it was that her condescension irritated me.” (Yeah, she could’ve answered if she WANTed to. But she didn’t WANT to. So there.)

Page 277 (previously posted)
(yes, there’s more…)
Had Katie Couric even read her op-ed in the New York Times about the Alaska Gasline Inducement Act?? The next interview was on the campaign bus, and asked about “praying the gay away.” She wouldn’t let her answer and badgered and badgered about abortion. She asked the proverbial “if a 15-year old is raped by her father” question. Palin said she is unapologetically pro-life and that she would counsel her or anyone of any age or any health or any circumstance to choose life.

Page 278 (and more…)
More badgering. Would she really counsel an incest victim to have the baby? Yes, she would counsel such a girl to choose life. Couric left out the part where we should “support these women.” The real extremism came from those who support partial birth abortions and “those, like Barack Obama who opposed laws that would protect babies born alive after botched abortions.” If you have no idea what the hell she’s talking about, click HERE.

More badgering. More badgering. Badger badger. Couric was nice to Joe Biden, but not nice to her. Joe Biden mistakenly attributed something to FDR and never got called on it.

Page 279 (previously posted)
The worst part wasn’t the badgering and badgering…it was the wasted time. There were so many more important things she could be doing (I know how she feels) .”

She later heard a quote from Katie Couric that told her “everything [she] needed to know.” She said that the whole flag pin/USA/shock and awe stuff was “just too jubilant and a little uncomfortable.”

“Unbelievable.” says the real American.

In Philadelphia there were people with a sign that said “Sarah Palin is a c—”

Page 280 (previously posted)
Prep session with curtains drawn. The campaign was on the ropes. People were stressed out. She wanted fresh air. They wanted to sit in a dark room and yell. She wanted to go running in the sunshine but they wouldn’t let her. When they did schedule time for her to run, she’d be on the bus.

Page 281 (previously posted)
Outrage that Gwen Ifill was the debate moderator. The campaign was freaked out. But she wasn’t worried. She was confident. There were stacks of index cards with questions on one side and non-answers on the other side. Why wouldn’t they just let her say whatever came into her head?

Page 282
The campaign didn’t want her to answer questions. She wanted to, but they wouldn’t let her. They wanted to change her. (Into what they actually thought she was in the first place because they didn’t vet her.) They caused her to question her “style.”

Page 283 (previously posted)
She liked her simple style where she just told the truth and didn’t have to struggle to remember how she had answered things. They wouldn’t let her be that way. They yelled at her all the time, and told her she was wrong. She wanted fresh air, not a dark room. But they kept her inside in the dark with the yelling. If she could only run in the sunshine, they would have won. Metaphor about the penalty box. Bla bla bla.

Page 284
Nutrition intervention! Steve Schmidt said he was flying in a nutritionist because of her over consumption of Atkins diet bars that were “all over the place.” She didn’t know where they came from and tried to tell Schmidt that she wasn’t on the Atkins diet, but he wouldn’t believe her.

Page 285
He lectured her anyway on the hazards of a high protein diet. She notes that he is fat and he smokes. She didn’t need a nutritionist. (Apparently diet bars and soda work just fine) She needed to go outside and be in the sun with the wind in her hair. He didn’t listen and there was no nutritionist.

But “there was a bright spot in Philly and his name was Joe Lieberman.” (I pull my head out of the bucket and ask “Can we PLEASE just call him a Republican now??”)

Page 286
Joe “the wonderful” Lieberman just told her to be herself, and to not let anyone tell her what to say. She’d get through it if she put her faith in God.

Cindy McCain suggested relocating to the ranch. John’s favorite exercise is wading in the creek. She wanted the podiums to be outdoors.

It was interesting to meet Bill Clinton.

Page 287
The press was unfair to Hillary Clinton and Obama got a “free pass.”

Back in February of 2008 she was caught on tape telling Hillary Clinton to stop whining. She didn’t really tell her to stop whining. But she shouldn’t have told her to stop whining until she had “walked a mile in her shoes.” Now, she understands that Hillary had every right to whine. She was right and “Democrats deserved to see a fairer picture of what they were getting into” before they voted for Barack Obama.

“If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” (Wondering what people would be saying if Michelle Obama had said that. Cries of sexism?)

Page 288
Joe Biden had lots of experience, but he voted against the Alaska pipeline. Quotes Ann Coulter who said, “Our enemies have us in a vise grip. Sorry caribou, you’re going to have to take one for the team.” Biden is not a driller.

Page 289
The idea to call Joe Biden “Joe” was so she wouldn’t slip up and call him O’Biden by mistake. (McPalin. I do it all the time.) She was all flustered and thought she couldn’t possibly just call him “Joe” but Randy Scheunemann said that if she asked him first he’d have to say yes. They had no idea that the mic would be hot and that people would actually hear her asking him if she could call him Joe. (Hot mics? Nah…never happens.)

(This is the best!) And I quote, “The ‘expert’ post-debate analysis was that my question was a cleverly disguised strategy to disarm my opponent. Yeah, right.” (She spent an entire page to try to convince us that “Say it ain’t so, Joe was NOT a pre-planned sound bite! Wow.)

Page 290
In the practice debate Randy Scheunemann played Biden so convincingly that she wanted to reach over and clobber him. (Imagining if Joe Biden said that about her…)

She had been continually asking to run and nobody would let her so she decided to just do it. She “couldn’t wait to slip into her ASICS.” (Product placement alert!) She ran and the secret service came along. She ran past exotic plants like “cactus” and exotic animals like “lizards.” She wiped out.

Page 291
Secret Service helped her up. She had road rash on her thigh. Her hands and knees were “a bloody mess.” She swore the Secret Service to secrecy about this embarrassing incident that she never ever wanted anyone to know. (Yes, there were news reports about it after everyone saw her with a giant bandaid on her hand. And if she was so embarrassed and wanted it to remain secret forever, why is she writing it in a book?)

She needed stitches but didn’t “go to a doctor” because it would be national news. (No doctor available to make a house call for a VP candidate?) “Headquarters” would yell at her if she got proper medical care. She tried to lie to Piper and said that she tackled a rattle snake. Piper didn’t believe her and gave her a Hannah Montana bandaid.

Page 292
She is reflective. Why, that fall she took is just like a lesson she once learned… If you stumble in life, you just get back up again.

Track called just at the right time when she had a few minutes to talk. It was a miracle. He asked her if she had been studying for the debate, and told her he would pray for her. She said, “I love you so much, son.” Peace settled on her heart and she knew that even if she lost the debate, her boy was safe and life was good.

(We are played out with swelling orchestra music, and I…once again… head for the wine.)

I have not mentioned until now that each chapter begins with a quote. But this one, I have to share. It may not mean much to you if you have not already waded through the first three chapters, but here it is.

I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.  And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.  ~ Charles Swindoll

(Aaaaahahahaha!  I love it when she starts us off with a laugh.  And we are in the middle, right now, of how Sarah Palin reacts to her life. )

Page 209

They land in Arizona.
Managed to sneak out of Alaska without being detected.

Page 210
God presents doors.

“A nice guy named Adam Brickley had started a Web site trying to rally ordinary folks to draft me for the job.” (Adam Brickley was actually a blogger in his parents basement, but notice how because he’s on her side he becomes “a nice guy with a Web site” instead of those other nasty bloggers who are the “opposition research.”)

Met McCains in February 2008 and they “really connected.” Cindy loved her kids just like other moms even though she was “elegant and beautiful.” (rich) John McCain is “full of an inspiring inner joy.”

Page 211
When McCain called her at the state fair and asked her to be his running mate she wasn’t surprised. It seemed like a comfortable natural progression. (Not for anyone ELSE!) After he asked her, she hung up and took Piper on a ride. Then called Todd and Kris Perry. How would she keep the secret from her staff? She always worked. She gave birth to Piper on a Monday and went to work on Tuesday and brought her in a car seat.

Page 212 (previously posted as a sneak peek)
“She of the Iron Uterus” did work from her hospital bed after having Trig. Didn’t miss much work for any reason. Staff would have found it “inexplicable” if she was not at work on a Thursday morning for any reason, even delivering a special needs child apparently.

McCain campaign snuck her out of AK and Todd had to confiscate teenagers’ cell phones. This was “scarier” than anything the opposition could throw at them. Went to Arizona and experienced warm air and a “star spangled sky.” In Alaska it’s either cold and dark or warm and light. So this strange land the natives call “A-ri-zo-na” was very “foreign and exotic” to her. Does that count as more foreign policy experience?

Page 213 (previoulsy posted)
Introduces her arch-nemesis Steve Schmidt and talks about him working on Bush’s re-election campaign in 2004. Kerry called for “global test” for military action. He said he was “going to shove ‘global test’ right up Kerry’s ass.” Charming.

Page 214 (previously posted)
Palin sits around the coffee table chatting deftly about her position on the war in Iraq, energy and the economy. Tells them how she reaches across the aisle and has a Lincoln-like “team of rivals” approach to governance. They already knew Bristol was pregnant even though she thought only family knew. (They must have been reading Mudflats!) She is told that nothing stays secret in a campaign. That’s OK with her because she only has one skeleton….it makes her sick to her stomach….it’s….it’s…a D in college! (I’m guessing it was in English. Call it a hunch.)

Talks about her in-depth knowledge of the middle East, being commander in chief of the Alaska national guard, Track going to Iraq, etc. If only Steve Schmidt weren’t so focused on the middle east and had focused more on the economy they might have won. It’s all his fault…

Page 215 (previously posted)
Apparently Schmidt didn’t think she knew as much as she thought she knew, because he gave her a stack of books, and DVDs to review the history of the conflict.

She is questioned about Walt Monegan and talks about “his budget problems and insubordination, his changing story.” (Has anyone noticed how unbelievably nice Walt Monegan has been to her? And she still keeps flinging the crap) Also talked about Steve Branchflower the independent investigator of the Troopergate case (who was chosen by a completely bi-partisan group in the legislature) and how he was not impartial and had worked with the “Democrat” lawmaker pushing the “ginned-up scandal.” The “Democrat lawmaker” would be Hollis French. Love that “team of rivals” reaching across the aisle with the “Democrat” party.

Page 216
She had no litmus test for abortion in her administration. Her roommate in college was gay. “To me she was still Tilly.” She opposed ‘homosexual marriage’ but so did the DemocrAT candidate so it wasn’t an issue.

And now, we find out exactly WHO was responsible for the extensive vetting process that she went through. (wink) I present Arthur B. Culvahouse, Jr. He knew it all – voting records, tax records, even transcripts of sermons that visiting pastors had preached at a church I had not attended regularly since I was a teenager. And they even knew Bristol was pregnant! “Good. They know exactly what they’re getting.”

(While they were looking up sermons from visiting pastors that went to churches that you don’t attend, did they see THIS ONE?? Just curious.)

Page 217
“I didn’t believe in the theory that human beings – thinking, loving beings – originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea. Or that human beings began as single-celled organisms that developed into monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees…” (Wow.)

Steve Schmidt felt a little uncomfortable with this part of the discussion. Imagine that. “I had just dared to mention the C-word: creationism. But I felt I was on solid factual ground.” (Wow.)

Page 218 (previously posted)
Her dad was a science teacher, and after 18 years of science lessons at the dinner table, she still was not convinced by him or anyone else that “the earth had sprung forth conveniently stocked with the ingredients necessary to spontaneously create life.”

Page 219 (previously posted)
If anyone asked her about creationism, she wasn’t going to “parrot a politically correct line” just so people wouldn’t think she was a a fundamentalist creationist whack job who thinks the Earth is 6000 years old. Thinks evolution should be debated in the classroom. If Wm. F. Buckley can be a creationist why can’t she?

“Cathedrals of soaring red rock rising near forests of ponderosa pine.. I craved stretching my legs.”

The McCain compound didn’t feel like a rich person’s compound. It had that lived-in compound feel.

Page 220
John McCain can identify hawks in flight by genus and species.
He told her that running for Vice President would be really tough on her family. She said she knows but it’s OK because her kids have grown up with it.

Page 221
She says she’s up to the challenge. They’re everyday Americans and will appeal to voters. They know what it’s like to have to make payroll. They know “what it’s like to be on a tight budget and wonder how we’re going to pay for our own health care.” >>>SCREECHY BRAKE NOISE<<<<< (OK, remember the part about Todd being part Alaska Native? Well, guess what comes with that? Free health care. Yup. Socialist government-run health care. And it works really well. Todd gets it, Track gets it, Bristol gets it, Willow gets it, Piper gets it, and Trig gets it. Sarah gets it too, for all her pregnancies. So, let me just say:

Cindy McCain reminded her of a 1950s TV mom. Some people call her an ice queen (McCain) but she isn’t. She’s tired of being “unfairly clobbered in the press with lies” about her and her family.

Page 222
She knows just how Cindy McCain feels. After a while “some of the giddy gets knocked right out of you.”

“Because of her upmarket elegance, she’d almost been ostracized from working-class people.” But her dad was poor. And she does volunteer work and adopted a kid.

John McCain offered her the job.

Page 223
They got ready to step on stage. They whispered “Say a prayer!” to each other. John McCain made a bold pick.

Page 224
McCain introduces her to an adoring world.

Page 225
More of McCain’s introduction of her. It struck her as ironic that Obama had captured the theme of “change.” After all she’s the one who came up with it first. She wondered how she could interject that into the campaign – that she was for change “when change wasn’t cool.” (Wondering how many other political campaigns have had change as a theme. Probably every single non-incumbant. Nice try.)

Page 226
She gave the speech. Now John McCain would have some explaining to do when people asked Who in the heck is she? (And the nation asked the internet and found a bunch of Alaska bloggers!)

She got to the hotel room in Minnesota, and what do you think she found? Racks of clothes! She thought that it was great. Somebody was going to just hand her something to wear. One less thing to worry about.

Page 227
She met Tucker Eskew. He was the one who “torpedoed” John McCain’s campaign in the 2000 primary. McCain hired him hoping he could do the same thing to Obama. (Nice.) She recalls the first time she heard Obama speak and thought he was good but that his “smooth style would obscure what he was actually saying.”

Met Mark and Nicolle Wallace, married couple that worked for Bush who met during the Florida recount. (How romantic. Not.)

Page 228
Mark has a bad temper and drops the f-bomb and yells at people. Nicolle is blond, charming and pretty and is always “on.” She speaks in sound bites. She likes Randy Scheunemann and Steve Biegun. Steve’s kids play basketball. She hopes he’s not missing their games for this. He is.

Page 229
She is “reminded” that she has more foreign policy experience (Russia) and more administrative and executive experience than Obama or Biden. “We assumed it was the campaign press people’s job to get that message out to the voters.”

The VP people were called “the B Team.” Steve Schmidt (the evil) introduces her to her campaign chief of staff who has “a thick East Coast accent” (Whatever the hell THAT is! I guess to Palin with her weird Wasilla-Wisconsin hybrid thing going on, all the East Coasters sound the same). The campaign manager is a financial guy and doesn’t know how to run a campaign.

Page 230
She thought it was odd that this inexperienced guy was going to run the show. Silly her, she thought they must have known what they were doing. It ended up being a “learning experience.” (More excoriating to come, I’m sure)

A tailor showed up. She was beautiful and helpful. Nicolle hired a team of NY stylists, “one of whom had apparently worked for some big-name newscasters, including Katie Couric.” (insert scream here) She looked at the price tags and they “almost knocked her eyes out.” Why, one blazer alone cost more than a semester at the University of Alaska. And she was horrified at the “fancy” packaged $70 nylons. There was also a real pearl necklace, but she gave it back because she didn’t need fancy stuff. Why, even her wedding ring only cost $35 “and it still works!” (Even though she doesn’t wear it?)

Willow, ever the fiscal watchdog asked who was paying for all this? The staffer said she didn’t know but not to worry because it was all taken care of. Her dad showed up and they bought him a $200 tie and $350 shoes and he too was horrified and wanted to know who was paying for it, and was told the same thing.

Page 231
More with the clothes…
Why did they all have to go through the ordeal of getting new clothes. They are simple people who don’t want new clothes. Nicolle Wallace, up to her old tricks, assured her that this was all totally normal. Amy and Angela the hair and makeup girls arrive on the scene. She always did her own hair & makeup. She wasn’t trying to look chic by putting her hair up in the giant plastic clip, it was just easier. The wardrobe people wanted to take lots of time with her, and put her on a pedestal and rotate her slowly in front of the mirror and gaze at her to make sure everything fit absolutely perfectly. But she had no patience for this. She had places to go and things to do! Go go go!

Page 232
Oh, the clothes… what a collosal waste of time they were. She hated them. Who strategized this part of the campaign? She couldn’t beLIEVE how much they emphasized “packaging” and she’d never seen anything like it. They don’t have these kinds of people in Alaska that are members of this “elite and highly specialized guild.” But even though they were campaign professionals, nothing but nothing could prepare them for the deluge of lies and more lies and rumors and innuendos that would befall and how the “packaging” would taint her candidacy.

Page 233 (previously posted)
And while we’re at it, what’s up with the fancy schmantzy hotels? She’s used to the Best Western in Wasilla.  Says she wasn’t used to fancy hotel rooms (Fancy hotel room anyone?), but learned that Bristol’s pregnancy had been outed while she was brushing her teeth looking at the flat screen TV embedded in the bathroom mirror. If only she had been able to be up front about it from the start, but the McCain campaign botched it.

Repeats the lie that Barack Obama told the media to lay off his family and they “obeyed him”, but they trashed her family. In actuality, Obama had asked the media to lay off HER family.

Page 234-235 (previously posted)
There’s some mysterious entity called “headquarters” and she doesn’t know who they are, but they wrote a statement about Bristol’s pregnancy saying they were proud of her, and proud to become grandparents. She disagreed and wrote a statement that was more “serious.” The McCain campaign ran the one they wrote anyway. Schmidt tells her to stick with the script.

Page 236 (previously posted)
The McCain communications team learned that she was the VP pick the same day everyone else did so they were completely unprepared and had no idea who she was.

So when the avalanche of press inquiries tumbled in, the national media folks had zero information. What they did report, patchy factoids cobbled together from the Internet and a few left-wing Alaska bloggers was usually wrong. (Woooo! “A few left-wing Alaska bloggers” shout out!)

The national media, referred to as the “black-suited, laptop-toting flatlanders” (Flatlanders?) apparently drove around Wasilla trying to find out where Sarah Palin bought her liquor, and talked to: “a defeated former opponent” (Andrew Halcro), “a maniacal blogger” (Heck, that could be any of us, but probably Syrin), “the falafel lady” (political watchdog Andree McLeod) and “the Wasilla town crank” (presumably Anne Kilkenny).

Page 237(previously posted)
On this page, Wasilla mayoral rival the unpronounceable “John Stein” (Is that jo-hun-stee-in?) gets slammed for telling Time Magazine that Palin sought to ban books in the Wasilla Library.

“It was one lie after another – from rape kits to Bridge to Nowhere. All easy enough to disprove if the press had done its job.” (WOW! Blames the Alaska GOP and Randy Ruedrich for not correcting it. Yes, it’s her lie and she’s stickin’ with it. Fortunately it remains easy to fact check HERE and HERE.)

Slams media and bloggers for saying that if she couldn’t control her own daughter how could she be president, and saying that her philosophy about teaching abstinence was hypocritical, and didn’t work just because… it’s hypocritical and it doesn’t work.

Page 238
She would rather have abstinence only sex education taught in schools than have kids putting condoms on bananas. Contraception is OK, though. (As long as you don’t learn how to use it?)

Another “bullcrap story entered the wider media bloodstream.” Who is Trig’s real mom? The Atlantic and the Anchorage Daily News asked questions and it damaged John McCain. Trig Truthers are still at it.

They made a bid deal about a video of her in church leading a prayer that included “Also, for this country, that our national leaders are sending [U.S. soldiers] out on a task that is from God.” What that actually meant is that we are hoping that it’s a task from God, not that we actually think it IS a task from God. We think.

Page 239
She was so insulted by all these lies.
The media was saying that Bristol’s pregnancy might affect the election. Bristol was stressed out. They just couldn’t believe that anyone would want to talk about that. Maybe they shouldn’t watch TV.

Matthew Scully the speechwriter is a “crunchy con” who is a “bunny hugging vegan” with conservative values. He would throw himself in front of a semi truck to save a squirrel. He walked around looking at the sky a lot.

Page 240
He wrote a speech and let her help. She practiced in front of a teleprompter which she found strange. Surely you should just know your speech and not need a teleprompter. (oh, puhleez) She had only used a teleprompter a handful of times in Alaska. The rest of the time she just got up there and talked. (Yes, we know.)

She didn’t know if she was going to be able to get through the John McCain POW part without choking up. (Hey, I thought she only choked up when she was alone in a closet listening to the Star Spangled Banner with a box of tissues…)

Before she went to deliver the convention speech, she actually had to change Trig’s diaper. It kept her “grounded.”

Page 241
Transcript of speech. I’ll spare you. You heard it once already.

Page 242
The teleprompter stopped working but it was OK because she didn’t need it anyway, the silly old thing.

She delivered the line, “I guess a small-town mayor is kind of like a ‘community organizer,’ except that you have actual responsibilities.” The crowd went wild. She used that line as a “shout out to independent minded Americans who didn’t look to government for all the answers.” (But…but… isn’t the mayor the one who’s part of the government, and the community organizer who isn’t? *head bang*)

Page 243
The other side dismissed her mayor creds. Small town service shouldn’t be scorned. It’s what makes our country great. (Like all those scorned community organizers?)

But even more important than community involvement is “a personal commitment to one’s own business (so, I guess quitting is a bad thing) and family.” (So if something is going to be hard on your family that would be bad too. Just trying to clarify.)

Then she spotted a group of hockey moms and spontaneously ad-libbed the pitbull lipstick hockey mom joke. (Right.) She was having a ball, by God’s grace and it was really liberating because the teleprompter was broken.

Page 244-245
More speech. One of John McCain’s fellow POWs was there. She only made it through the rest of the speech “with the grace of God.” She was so overwhelmed with American pride that she got choked up. The speech was over and the family argued over who was going to get to carry Trig. Piper lost but it was OK because then she got to pump her fist in the air. The kids looked great “even in a bunch of borrowed clothes.” (WHAT?!?)

She went to join McCain on stage when he accepted the nomination and her “high-heeled shoe” fell off and the media didn’t show it “bless their hearts.”

Page 246-247
Addresses Troopergate, “or as those who knew the facts called it ‘Tasergate.’” (I have to stop here for a moment. This is where the ex-brother-in-law uses his taser on the test setting on his son because the kid said he wanted to see what it felt like. Very stupid imho. But nonetheless… So, supposedly the reason that Palin dismissed Monegan had nothing at all to do with Wooten, remember? It was all that other stuff. So, why is she calling it Tasergate? They used this term briefly and then abandoned it. I thought it was because it exactly proved the point that it DID have to do with Wooten and they realized how stupid they had been. Apparently I was incorrect.)

Copies an unbylined editorial from some business magazine to “prove her point.”

Page 248
Met Jeannie Etchart, one of the trip coordinators. She was beautiful and soft-spoken. She kept borrowing her four-year old black Theory pants. (Yes, she still remembers the age and brand name of the pants)

Went to Cedar Rapids Iowa where there were “people of every color.”

Page 249-250
Met special needs teenagers on the trail. Had worried about Trig’s “imperfection” but knew it would be OK after meeting others. In Fairfax Virginia she gave a speech in the pouring rain and her makeup was running down her face but she didn’t want to leave because people had showed up to listen.

Page 251
Enjoyed bringing special needs kids into the spotlight with her. Got a bumper sticker that says “My kid has more chromosomes than your kid.”

Page 252
Big shout out to local Alaska radio personalities Bob & Mark, and Eddie Burke. Eddie Burke, described as “another great host” is pictured here:

And here he is from the back:

He’s also the guy who called the organizers of the “Alaska Women Reject Palin” rally at the local library “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots” and gave out their phone numbers on the air so his listeners could call them up at home. He was suspended for five days. But, back to our story…

She punched up Bob & Mark on the speed dial on her cell phone and told them she had a “true American hero” sitting next to her and did they want to talk to him. Then she put John McCain on the phone for an on-the-spot interview. McCain was gracious but one of the campaign higher-ups said, “Don’t do that again.”

Gee, she guesses she went all rogue and violated some kind of “protocol.” Sheesh.

Perhaps if the campaign higher-up knew that this was the radio duo that had called State Senate President and cancer survivor Lyda Green a “bitch” and a “cancer” during an on-air chat with Sarah Palin who said nothing and just giggled, they might have thought it was a problem. You know…because then she could write about it in a book and some stupid blogger could link the stories together, and then they’d think about how she said that “associations” between people were fair game for the media. You know.

But they were all uptight and told her to knock off talking to the local hate mongering shock jocks back home.

Page 165
Attended lots of military events. Watched blue star moms change to gold star moms.
Went to Kuwait in 2007 (I think that’s when she got her first passport)

Page 166
Soldiers in Kuwait never complained. Visits with wounded.

Page 167
Her biggest argument with Track when he was a teenager was about whether he was going to play the hockey position he wanted to play, or whether he was going to play the position she wanted him to play. (Why is this an argument??) She thought that was pretty great.

Track was prone to injuries because he was a “grinder, a player known for workhouse toughness first, and finessing the puck second. He relished hitting the boards – and opponents. He drew a lot of penalties.” (Wow. That was one giant pile of hockey euphamisms for saying someone is a nasty player) Once a nice man came up to her and said he had played hockey against Track for a lot of years, and that Track had broken his hand. (A mom must be so proud.)

Page 168
But don’t feel too sorry for the kids that got the crap beat out of them by Track, because he actually hurt himself too, poor lad. He has a bum shoulder now.

She had to go to the ER, and Track was there and they wouldn’t give him water because he was a minor and if they had to do surgery he was supposed to have an empty stomach. She understood but was furious because an underage girl “could undergo a painful, invasive, and scary abortion and no parent even had to be notified.”

Page 169
Apparently she mentioned the abortion thing to the nurse who agreed with her, and she vowed then and there to change the parental notification law.

Track got tattoos to cover up his surgery scars. He got a Jesus fish and a map of the state of Alaska because he knew she couldn’t argue about him getting tattoos if those were the designs.

He left home his senior year to play hockey in Michigan. “He would call home in wonder about the diversity and the nice people and the heartland neighborhoods with American flags hung from doorposts in every town.” (Call home in wonder? But…but…I thought Alaska was a “microcosm” of the rest of the country. No?)

Page 170
Track hopes that kids from old America can truly appreciate this country and not take it for granted. His repeated injuries meant he had to “hang up the blades.” He was glad to miss out on her becoming governor because he hates the spotlight. He was still drawn to that feeling of brotherhood and saw his friends screwing up, and knew it wasn’t for him. So, just add together all that patriotism, love of conflict, desire not to get into trouble and stay away from the governor and – voila! He decided to join the military during his first week of college. (?)

Page 171
At a conference in New Orleans where nobody knew her, she bought a pregnancy test at Walgreens. She was pregnant. “Holy geez!” She was happy because she wanted a boy, and she wanted a “Starting Five” lineup. But she just knew her critics would say all kinds of mean things about her. She prayed about the situation.

Page 172
She “dreaded the comments from the Neanderthals who would think of this pregnancy as a distraction.” She thought about these less than ideal circumstances. Nobody knew she was pregnant and they’d never have to know if she got an abortion. She had a “sudden understanding of why many women feel pressured to make the “problem” go away.” But even though she knew what goes through a woman’s mind in this kind of situation, she was grateful to right-to-life groups that “affirm the value of the child.” Otherwise women who were tempted to continue the pregnancy under these circumstances might feel like they were the only ones that felt that way. Then they’d all just go along with what “society” wants them to do, and have an abortion.

She decided that having the baby was “the right choice,” and noted that it wouldn’t be the only time she had to make a choice about the pregnancy.

Page 173
She and Todd kept missing each other because of business trips and she told him weeks later. He was ecstatic. They decided not to tell anyone so they could have “sacred time.”

Page 174
She had had a second miscarriage between Willow and Piper. Her doctor “CBJ” was kind and caring. She had toughened up and took the second miscarriage better than the first.

She visited her doctor at 12 weeks. Was told that she was older and there were risks. She wasn’t worried.

Page 175
She had four healthy children so wasn’t worried. “Besides, my sister Heather already had a special needs son, who had autism and he was our family’s angel boy.” God knew what he was doing.

Got sonogram. Baby was alive. They found “boy parts.” “Relief blew through me like the Mat-Su Valley wind.” (Oh, good grief.) “God is so good! I thought. He knows what’s best.”

Baby’s neck was thick.

Page 176
God would never give her anything she couldn’t handle. She couldn’t handle a special needs child. God knew how busy she was. “Got to go-go-go.” Couldn’t imagine how she could handle it. Unles… God knew her better than she knew herself. But then she decided God wouldn’t do it to her.

Decided to get amniocentesis so she could be prepared in case. Went to genetecist alone. Snuck in the back door and used her maiden name.

Page 177
Finds out the baby will have Down Syndrome. Drives to Wasilla. Doesn’t cry. Her family always wonders why she never cries. She is stoic. She did not tell Bristol this, but she “chokes up all the time” at military events, when the Star Spangled Banner plays, and at new born babies. But she does this secretly when nobody can see. (Imagining her in a closet listening to the Star Spangled Banner with a box of Kleenex)

But she drove to Wasilla and her “eyes stayed dry.” Maybe there was a mistake. Is God listening?

Page 178
Got confirmation of extra chromosome. Found out it was a boy and thanked God. “For me, that was a glimmer of light and I let it warm me.” Didn’t know if she had enough love and compassion to raise a special needs child. (!) Wonders if you don’t have to be “wired differently” to deal with it. Almost 90% of DS babies are aborted. She again understood why women want to terminate this type of pregnancy. But she had a “seed of faith.”

Went home and told Todd. Finally cried. Told Todd it was a boy. Todd said, “See, Sarah? God knows what He’s doing. This is great!” Then she told him about the DS.

Page 179
Todd was happy and sad. Asked lots of questions. Said it would be OK. Wondered what kid would be like. Asked other parents of DS kids if they played sports.

Page 180
Todd was more accepting and optimistic than she was. She was still having a hard time with it so they didn’t tell the rest of the kids.

Went to Track’s graduation ceremony in Ft. Benning. Boot camp turns boys into men.

Page 181
Couldn’t spot him because they all look alike. “That’s the point,” someone said.
Remembered John Kerry’s comment in 2006 about if you go to college and work hard you don’t get stuck in Iraq. “What a loon, I though. What an elitist loon.” (You know… you ‘ve got all the time in the world to make edits and change things around. You’ve got many eyes on the draft of this book. And “elitist loon” actually made the final cut??)

Enlistees are smart. Track could have done anything else, but he chose to enlist. Thanks God for second-greatest generation.

Page 182
Target – Palin’s former mentor and then State Senate President Lyda Green.
She sent a letter saying she’d be away, because “after I was elected, the rules for governors’ travel seemed to change with no notice.” (Maybe that’s because no governor previously charged the state for the travel and lodging of their children all over creation)

She attributes the fact that people had a problem with these copious family state-paid travel expenses to the fact that she said she was going to be a “mama grizzly” for the state. So those darn lawmakers in Juneau didn’t want her to leave Juneau. “Ever.” (I am imagining readers in Juneau right now as they don’t know whether to laugh or just scrape their chins off the desk. She wasn’t there a lot.)

Schedules changed, people weren’t notified. Who was really in control of Juneau? The goodly gov, or the evil 69-year old entrenched politician who lived in the hotel that was the Sodom of Southeast Alaska?? I believe this is where the infamous “Where’s Sarah?” buttons first appeared on the scene in the legislature. She couldn’t be there when the legislature wanted her there. Was this the bellweather?

This was just silly…”let her be in control” Palin thought. (Riiiiight. Lyda Green, incidentally was the politician, and cancer survivor, that the conservative radio shock jocks Bob & Mark called a “bitch” and a “cancer” while they were on the air interviewing Palin, who just giggled.)

She didn’t bring her staff or security with her on the trip because she “just knew a double standard would apply.” And plus Lyda Green was enjoying all the attention from the media (projection perhaps?) Green rallied the media who “milked the drama.” She got grief for leaving the capital as the legislative session got underway but governors are supposed to “steer clear” of the capitol building during the legislative session otherwise people might think they were trying to interfere.

Page 184
They had to switch their schedule around so she could deliver the state of the state speech, and they made the graduation from boot camp but they missed the “family day” events.

They still hadn’t told the kids about the pregnancy but they dropped helpful hints like, “Sometimes life throws you a curve ball” to prepare them.

She wrote an announcement letter telling everyone about Trig’s DS and wrote it in the first person as God.

Page 185
The letter from God.
“I ‘ve heard your prayers that this baby will be happy and healthy, and I’ve answered them because I only want the best for you!” (?)

“Children are the most pecious and promising ingredient in this mixed-up world you live in down there on earth.”

“Some will think Trig should not be allowed to be born because they fear a Downs child won’t be considered “perfect” in your world.” (Fearing Death Panels already??)

Page 186
“Trig can’t wait to meet you. I’m giving you ONLY THE BEST! Love, Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father”

People made fun of her for writing a letter in the voice of God.

Todd is a four-time Iron Dog snowmachine race champ.

Page 187
The Iron Dog is hard and long and cold.

People they know have died.

Page 188
Once Todd had an accident and flew off his machine and broke his arm.
He “soldiered on” and finished the last 400 miles of the race anyway.

Todd had another tea party with Laura Bush.

The Iditarod is also long and hard and cold.

Page 189
Alaska – Where Men are Men and Women Win the Iditarod (Another bumper sticker)
Iditarod musher Martin Buser campaigned for her and “appreciates America more than most people born and bred here.”

Lance Mackey won the race and got a call from the governor and took the phone not knowing the governor was a woman. “Oh, I fell in love with that musher and his lead dog Larry, right then and there.” (Huh? A) Why? and B) If she loves him why did she just share that embarrassing story with the nation?)

Page 190
My question from page 189 is answered.
A KTUU reporter (Bill McAllister her future Communications Director) asked her about the embarrassing interview. “Are you kidding?! More power to him! Good he’s not a politico – I like him even more now.”

(So… you have to be a “politico” to know who the governor is? And “more power to you” if you’re not paying attention? Those are the people the GOP really love! OK…that makes sense now.)

The next year when he won again, he didn’t forget her name because he named one of his dogs “Sarah.”

(NO. I won’t make a joke, and you can’t make me! >clamping hand on mouth<)

Page 191
She’s 7 months pregnant and “hadn’t put on a lot of weight” so she was able to conceal her pregnancy with scarves. Willow said she was “porking up” but she still didn’t say anything to the family.

She still hadn’t finished the letter from God, but they told a few friends and family she was pregnant, but not about the DS (I think). The kids were overjoyed.

Page 192
Finally decided to announce. Seafood reception in Juneau. She called reporters to her office and said she was having a baby in two months. They had no idea. And there was rejoicing.

Page 193
She and Todd flew to Dallas. Baby due in 5 weeks. She was due to deliver a keynote address at an oil and gas conference. At 4am she had a “strange sensation.” (water breaking) Didn’t want Todd to call her doctor because it was 1am and she just wanted to pray to God. But Todd called anyway.

It occurred to her that she loved the baby and “desperation for this baby overwhelmed her.” “Please God, protect him!” Losing the baby would be the worst thing in the world.

Told the doctor she absolutely didn’t want to cancel the speech and disappoint the people at the conference, including Gov. Rick Perry. She’d stay in touch with doctorand catch an earlier flight back to Alaska. They had plenty of time.

Spoke on the urgent need to tap conventional supplies and innovate on stabilizing renewable resources.

Governor Perry introduced her with humorous remarks about how they both loved people who cling to guns and religion.

She delivered the speech.

Page 195
The Wild Ride
Todd said, “Love this state, but we can’t have a fish picker born in Texas.” (That was nice of them to add the “love this state” part. It’ll make the book signing in Dallas less awkward.)

On the plane they talked about the fact that the letter from God had not been sent yet and that nobody was prepared, not even the other kids. They wondered if they had handled it properly. They prayed to God to make everyone else ready because they hadn’t.

“Many hours and two plane flights later” Trig was born. (Flight from Dallas bypassing hospitals, to Seattle, stop in Seattle (bypassing hospitals), flight from Seattle to Anchorage (bypassing hospitals), Drive from Anchorage 45 minutes north to hospital. What happened to “Please God, protect him.” and “losing the baby would be the worst thing in the world?”)

Todd and daughters were nearby for the birth. (Hey, I thought Chuck Heath “saw him pop out, dumbass.”)

She was glad that God put her into labor early so she got to see the baby sooner.

Page 196-199
Got an email from an oil worker that said “Go to hell, but resign first.” (Hmm.)

More oil wonky stuff about freeing up leases on Pt.Thompson.

She had a fine working relationship with Democrats. Democrats were amazed she would work with them.

The press was decent and fair her first years in office, but then that last year they got really mean all of a sudden.

Exxon Mobil people from Australia gave her a jar of Vegemite. They weren’t trying to thank her, they were trying to kill her. (It’s OK, I bet they won’t read the book)

Page 201
Targets – Walt Monegan and Hollis French
It’s all about fiscal conservatism. Walt Monegan (Commissioner of Public Safety that she fired for not axing Mike Wooten) announced his funding requests for his department in public, and wanted more money. (To deal with Alaskan issues like alcohol and substance abuse, domestic abuse, sexual assault and violent crime. We are first in the nation for several of these.) How dare he request this in public? He was trying to get what he wanted using an old political trick, to try to shame the state into dealing with these problems instead of letting them sock the money away somewhere and let the governor get “red pen” fiscal conservative credit while people in her own state were literally dying. What a jerk. What insubordination! She was going to be fiscally conservative, and Alaskans be damned.

And all of this was on the wish list of unions and the Democrat legislator Hollis “Gunny” French. He got the nickname because he liked to think he listed himself as having one year of military service when really it was only attending a military course in college. And anyway he was a “ringleader” in the ethics probe that found her guilty of abusing her position as governor.

Some union members and Democrat friends were offended when I later branded Monegan’s behavior ‘insubordinate.’ Is there a better term for it? As I write this, I’m thumbing through a thesaurus….still looking….still looking. Nope. Seems like insubordination to me. I had the final say on the budget. It was my responsibility to make it efficient.

(Oh, where to begin… First you don’t have a “Democrat” friend. Just like I don’t have a “Rethuglican” friend. If they are your friend, you don’t insult them in the descriptor. Second, I don’t think someone who is actually trying to help people to the best of his ability, in the face of desperate misery, with what resources he has available to him is insubordinate. I think that person is humane, and is more concerned with people than politics. I think that a certain governor was feeling a little bit threatened, and would rather slash a budget that be humane to her people. I think she’s no protective mama grizzly. I think she has more than a helping of selfish pride. I’m sure there’s some Bible quote for that. And I really really want to go back and make that joke about the dog from page 190 now, where I had to clamp my hand over my mouth. There’s got to be another word for that. As I write this, I’m thumbing through a thesaurus …. still looking … still looking. Oh, I found it!)

Page 202
Oh, she’s not finished with Walt Monegan yet. If he wanted to dictate a budget so bad, then he should run for office. He did run for mayor and didn’t do very well. Isn’t pouring salt in wounds fun?

But wait there’s more. She was “surprised” that he went to Washington D.C. to lobby for earmarks. SHE on the other hand doesn’t want any help from the federal government, especially for stupid stuff like funding to deal with sexual assault problems. You can take your money and shove it, Washington. We’d rather be #1 in the country for sexual assault than take any help from you.

Then the evil DemocrAT lawmakers started telling lies about the fact that Monegan got fired because the governor’s office pressured him repeatedly to fire Mike Wooten and he wouldn’t do it.

My head hurts.

Page 203

Page 204
She did an interview and photo shoot for Vogue. All she wanted to talk about was national security and energy independence because “fashion trends” didn’t interest her. (Ha!) For some reason the Vogue writer didn’t want to hear about oil and gas.

Page 205
Gas line. Got a bid from China. Didn’t want to deal with communitsts, but their application was incomplete anyway, and rejected. But there was Trans-Canada! Hooray! She could almost see the tape across the finish line then! (Looking through binoculars….don’t see tape)

Page 206
Name drops a lot of media outlets and people she talked to like… Glenn Beck.
Talked to them about ANWR.

Page 207
She was interviewed about the gasline and ANWR by reporters from the Wall Street Journal, Time, the Associated Press, Investor’s Business Daily and Forbes. “Perhaps that’s why I was so shocked during the VP campaign when Katie Couric wondered which papers and magazines I read.” (Because you’re a regular reader of any outlet that interviews you? You still haven’t answered the question. WHAT DO YOU READ?!)

“Maybe I should have asked her what she reads. She didn’t sound very informed on our energy issues.” (Yeahhh….what do YOU read Kaaatie, you little Miss Perky smarty pants? Ohhhh, the obsession.)

Gloats about kicking off the pipeline. (Where IS that dang thing?)

Page 207
Finds out Bristol is pregnant. She was devastated. “It wasn’t the morality of the situation – what was done was done.” It was that her future would change in an instant. They prayed. God would make it OK.

Page 208
Agonizing comparison of her own tenure in office to fireweed blooming.

(Heading for a glass of wine)

Page 105-106
It’s the middle of winter, and ten degrees below zero. It’s nighttime and it’s dark. It’s Thompson Pass on the way to Valdez. Driving is “treacherous” and this area has very little traffic, hazardous conditions, and an average snow dump of 50 feet in the winter. Sarah Palin is cresting the pass which skirts a 400 foot precipice, zipping along in her black Jetta drinking sugar-free RedBull and fumbling around to put on a Toby Keith CD while she is driving with the window down to keep herself from falling asleep. She wishes she’d taken Todd’s big 4-wheel drive truck but she didn’t so she’s in this little Jetta. AND HER CHILDREN ARE SLEEPING IN THE CAR! This trip, according to Palin, was the same distance as New York to Raleigh North Carolina, and it was a trip she didn’t need to take. Unbelievable. Every Alaskan parent is cringing right now. Well….except her.

“It was a tough road to barrel down in the dark.” But she was running for governor now and she was having a ball getting out there and meeting people, so it’s all OK. Former State Senate President Rick Halford asked her to run for governor. Thanks, Rick. His encouragement was a “signpost on the road.” Not the frozen treacherous road she was barreling down in the dark with her kids in the car, the road from God.

Page 107
Halford reiterated that it would be brutal on family life, but that she should do it anyway. She agreed.

Andree McLeod is mentioned. “Andree the Gadfly.” (More name calling. Welcome to Jr. High yet again.) When McLeod ran for mayor she had an “ill-advised logo of giant red lips and the slogan ‘Kiss off Special Interests.’” Oh, reeeeealllly…..

Good thing she never had anything unfortunate with big red lips like that. It would have been most ill-advised.

Everyone was afraid for their children’s freedom. Alaska was going to be “Left Behind.” Growth of government bureaucracy was out of control! We had to stop it and had to stop it NOW…. This was the root of our problems.

Page 109
Voters wanted drilling and they wanted change. Kicked off her campaign on Bristol’s birthday so they had cake at the gathering.

Back to the death ride from Valdez. Here she was “still toting kids on the campaign trail” only now it was in the Jetta instead of on a sled. She talked at the event about “unshackling the private sector.” She promised in front of everyone that if she was elected governor, “I won’t let you down.” (Ummm… like accepting the VP nomination and then quitting?)

Page 110
She was the first one to file for governor. Clark (high school friend) and Kris Perry got her campaign off the ground. She painted her campaign office red. (No, I guess it didn’t just ooze from the walls spontaneously that way)

Page 111
“We built a network of nonpolitical, hardworking, Alaskans…” (Were there any from the DemocRAT party perchance?)

Puff paragraph on Kristan Cole. They were both “wired to handle that pressure through faith in Providence…”

Her focus on the campaign would be to get that gas pipeline built that so many others before them did not. Other people had promised to do it but they didn’t do it. SHE was going to do it. (Looking through binoculars for pipeline) No more sponging off the federal government for us. We were going to give baby give.

Page 112
Intro to the Corrupt Bastards Club – She was going to clean up the “favor factory” in the Capitol building. Alaskans felt disenfranchised from their own government, and they were going to clean it up. Since she was campaigning on ethics reform “critics start trolling to see what kind of dirt you’ve got under your fingernails.” She told everyone to dig deep. She’d gotten a D in a college course (English?) and yelled at the wrong kid for not taking out the trash. Those are her skeletons.

***********pause for laughter************

Page 113
Road trips to tiny towns “flung across” Alaska.

Page 114
People gave them pie.
They played the BlackEyed Peas and LL Cool J in the car.

She found it amusing when Barack Obama “one of whose senior advisors (come to think of it) – had roots in Alaska – adopted the same theme. Yes folks, you read that right. She is insinuating that Barack Obama stole HER idea to run a campaign on “change” via Pete Rouse. I bet nobody in political history EVER ran a campaign with a change theme before.

Page 115
A round-table primary debate allowed Murkowski and Binkley to go after each other with “claws” out. She just let them fight and then swooped in at the end acting like a mom and saying that Alaska deserved better discourse, proving that there is no better preparation for politics than motherhood. (I wonder if she took a road trip with them at 10 below in a Jetta across Thompson pass drinking Redbull and rolling the window down to stay awake. Now THAT’s motherhood.)

Questions turned to abortion. She would choose life in each and every case, and said so – if a woman were raped, if it was her daugher, if it was incest or whatever.

She won the primary.

Page 116

This piece of brilliance came from the Alaska Dispatch. And thank you Andrew Halcro for correcting what was an obvious unintentional blunder from Palin who said “Democrat governor” instead of “Democratic governor.” I’m glad you said it correctly, despite you being all effete and everything.

Page 117-118
Halcro, “the Wasilla town crier” (Kilkenny) and “the falafel lady” Andree McLeod were considered credible sources by the national press. Imagine that! I wonder if they engaged in juvenile, petty bitter name-calling? That would be really lame, and people would find it hard to take them seriously. You know, like if they called you “the crazy lady” or “the Wasilla town whack job” or something.

There was a debate at a chamber of commerce luncheon. She chose to send Sean Parnell (the Lt. Governor nominee) to attend in her stead, and she went instead to visit with the troops who were about to be deployed because that was more important than a silly Chamber of Commerce luncheon.

Irony Alert! The very same Sean Parnell (who became governor when she quit) decided it was more important to attend an Association of General Contractors luncheon than to meet the President who was stopping off 2 miles down the road to honor the troops last week. I just had to throw that out there.

Todd has an interesting Grandmother who is an Alaska Native.

Page 119
Campaign staff all brought their kids on the road. They memorized Big & Rich, and Travis Tritt songs. Her commercials were “Little House on the Tundra.”

Page 120
She won the governor’s race.
Her father and his friends went to Humpy’s bar “which they said was like a funeral” because it was the Tony Knowles’ crowd. They gloat and try to start a hip hip hooray cheer for Sarah but it doesn’t go over well. Nice guys.

Page 121
In the first of many “Juneau last” incidents, she decided to be sworn in in Fairbanks in the hockey arena.

Page 122
She thanks the students who played hookie to attend the inauguration for “warming up the place”.
She winked at Kris Perry. (Is she trying to establish a pattern of winking behavior, or what? This is the second winking reference.)

Page 123
She said “Alaskans, hold me accountable, and right back atcha!” (Umm…. OK. Will do.) God decided to “overwhelmingly bless” Alaska, because Alaskans are better than all the people that were underwhelmingly blessed.

Page 124
Decided that until there was a road built to Juneau that she should just work in Anchorage and not in the capital because she was all about open and transparent government and giving the people access. (chuckling)

From her office “We overlook Cook Inlet, abundant with sea life, including salmon, halibut and beluga whales, all safely coexisting with offshore oil rigs for the last thirty years.” (Yes, if by “safely coexisting” you mean that the beluga whale is now on the endangered species list after a population crash and you decided to dispute the listing and threatened to sue the federal government over it. Then, yes.)

We all need to be like Ronald Reagan. Again.

Page 125-129
All about starting off getting a gasline. (I look around for a gasline. I peek under my napkin. “No gasline here!”)
She meets with oil executives who backed her opponents and thought to herself, “Hmmm. You just spent a year trying to kick my ass. I just spent a year trying to kick yours. And now we’re in this room together. Out loud I asked, ‘Want a cookie?’”

(THUD)

That was the sound of my head hitting the desk.

They were reaching out to Greenies, Grannies and Gunnies to support the gasline. (clean burning fuel, price of energy, and national security)

Page 130
Alaska is big.
Willow dragged a bunch of girls in pajamas outside to see a sow and cubs.
Track was away playing hockey in Michigan for the semester.

Page 131
The Governor’s Mansion in Juneau is really cool.

Page 132
Tried to light a fire in the fireplace, but the dampers were shut. Fire department came.
Staff loved Piper.

Page 133
The chef “seemed so darn bored” because the kids didn’t like fancy food so they fired her to save money.
They saved the state even more money by eating fish they caught themselves, and moose chili.
If any vegans came over she could explain “her philosophy on being a carnivore. If God had not intended for us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?” (So, why did he make us out of meat? Does God want us to be cannibals? Oh, the dangers of bumper sticker wisdom.)

Hollywood pressured her to “halt hunting, ban guns, and end wildlife management such as predator control.” (Banning guns? I believe it was shooting wolves out of airplanes. Slight difference.)

Page 134
“I had plenty of backup when telling Hollywood liberals what I thought of their asinine plan to ban guns.”

“One animal rights group recruited a perky, pretty celebrity” to attack the policy of shooting wolves from airplanes. The “perky pretty” celebrity is also known as a “delicate starlet” in previous Palin snipes. That would be Ashley Judd. So why does she pick on other women’s “perkiness” or “prettiness.” To quote her famous retort – would that happen to a man?

She finds it ironic that Ms. Judd would oppose shooting wolves from airplanes which was backed up by TWO ballot initiatives, but is perfectly fine accepting a role in Hollywood where she uses guns to kill “predatory humans.” (Um, ex-governor? Hollywood movies aren’t REAL. They’re just pretend…like a made up story. Nobody actually dies, and the guns aren’t real. But reality IS real. Do you see the difference? Am I making sense?) And besides if we didn’t shoot wolves from airplanes Alaska Natives would starve!

Page 135
Piper joined in at the table during important meetings in the Governor’s Mansion in Juneau, and served cake and sat in her lap and whispered things to her.

Page 136
Entitlement programs get people dependent on them.
Todd was called the “Shadow Governor” only because nobody could find anything legitimate to pick on him about.

Page 137
They got a puppy named AGIA for the Alaska Gasline Inducement Act. She will not forgive the people that gave her the puppy. Willow got “busted” bringing the puppy to her office. There was another puppy too. (What ever happened to those puppies? They vanished. What the heck was in that darn chili?)

Trying to avoid “any whiff of impropriety” she banned Willow from riding with her dear friend’s mom because she was a lobbyist. Willow said ethics laws would ruin her life, and that people wouldn’t “pick on her” if she didn’t do anything wrong. “You’d be surprised,” her mother answers. (oy.) Finally she gives in but makes sure to note the ride sharing on her disclosure forms but insisted Willow cannot take so much as a Gatorade from the family. Willow rolls her eyes farther back into her head than any teenager alive.

Page 138
There were threats against Willow of gang rape by “students at her Juneau school.” Same threats against Bristol. Somebody threatened to shoot Bristol from a helicopter.

Piper learned how to ride a bike. She got to yell “Yay me!” with nobody to tell her to be humble and quiet. She wants every child to say “Yay me!” without being humble and quiet.

Page 139
She did not require her staff to live in Juneau.
Meg Stapleton did work previously for GOP “power broker” Fred Malek. (Didn’t know that)

Page 140
McCain campaign would only allow her to bring one staffer on the trail – Kris Perry.

Juneau is a den of iniquity. Drunken bowling, drunken brawls, sleeping around, quickies at lunchtime, infidelity, secret meetings, illegal acts. “In short it was a lot like Washington D.C.” She didn’t have time to keep up with the “cocktail circuit” and all the gossip. Some people held that against her. But some people were good.

Juneau’s corruption problems are because it’s inaccessible. Some people want to keep it that way so it can stay corrupt.

Page 141-142
Corrupt Bastards Club and ethics investigation. She reached across the aisle to Democrats. Republicans didn’t like it and told her not to try to reform things. They knew which bills would pass and which ones wouldn’t, and it all depended on who was sleeping with whom.

Page 143
Doesn’t believe in homosexual marriage, but the constitution said that denying benefits was unconstitutional so she had to support that.

Page 144
Slamming John Bittney (not by name). Her “first legislative director” was a “Blackberry games addict who couldn’t seem to keep lunch off his tie.” He liked to think of himself as a “player” in Juneau. He told her to have a “come to Jesus” meeting with lawmakers and tell them that they needed adult supervision. She did tell them that and they didn’t like it. She wanted to blame him, but he shrugged.

Page 145
She told the Democrats that for every law they enacted she wanted to see two repealed. They didn’t like that.

Page 146
Bumper sticker – Dear God, Please Give Us Another Oil Boom an We Promise Not to Piss it Away This Time. (I’ve only seen that bumper sticker that said “Spill” instead of “Boom” and yes, I was horrified.)

Quoting Thomas Paine? Does she actually know who he is?

Page 147
Both parties spend too much, but at least with Democrats their “fiscal liberalism is expected.” Like how they want to fund a Woodstock Music Festival museum and have the taxpayers pay to celebrate an LSD flashback.

Murkowski grew the budget and he bought a jet. “That darn jet.” “After I was elected, I listed the thing on eBay and an agent finally sold it.” ((Ding ding ding! A moment of TRUTH!)) Remember in the campaign speech when she said that she put the jet on eBay and that was IT? Now, at least she drops that it was an agent who sold it. Maybe next time, she’ll fess up altogether and talk about how she sold it at a loss.

She saved money by firing the chef so they didn’t have to pay for fancy meals. “My kids still hold that against me.” (Wildly flipping back and forth between page 147 and page 133 where she said that the kids DIDN’T like fancy food and the chef was “so darn bored.” Well, I don’t know which it is, but ….

Page 147
She was noble and took per diem only for herself and did not accept the $60 per day per diem checks for all the other members of the “First Family.”

Page 148
Denies ever accepting per diem while living in her house. (!!!) Slams Kim Elton for taking per diem while she looks for a hotel in Anchorage that will put up a family of seven and feed five kids for $60 a night. (!!!)

Page 149
Her first budget. There was whining. People wanted things funded including “a lawmaker’s friend’s suicide memorial.” (No I have no idea what that means)

Back to (former High School buddy) John Bittney. He should have been there, but only occasionally wandered through, played on his Blackberry and nibbled cookies. Staffers on their way to the bathroom peeked over his shoulder and ratted on him that he was playing “Brick Breaker.” As she was ready to announce budget cuts he was slouching and had his shirt buttoned wrong and poking through his fly. (OMG! How does anyone think that this kind of thing helps them in a political career. I cannot imaging anyone ever wanting to work for someone who talks about people like this!)

Page 152
More hatchet job on Bittney. He never told lawmakers cuts were coming so she was accused of blindsiding legislators. He was too busy with personal affairs to do any state business. She fired him and he went to work for a legislator who then became a critic of hers.

Page 63
First sentence – “When I first got into Wasilla city politics, I wasn’t even sure how to pronounce the mayor’s name.” So, what do you suppose the mayor’s name was? Wojciechowski? Finnbogadottir? No, actually it was Stein. Pronounced the regular way. John Stein.

You know… like FrankenSTEIN, or beer STEIN, STEINway, STEINbeck…   And John.  Like McCain.

Nick Carney got her into politics. He was a snooty golfer and didn’t wear duct-taped bunny boots. Recruited her to run for City Council. (Thanks a lot, Nick.)

Page 64
Group Watch on Wasilla was looking for “progressive” candidates. Back in those days it didn’t mean librul. She took it in “the more common sense spirit of “progressing” our young city by providing the tools for the private sector to grow and prosper.”

She ran for office going door to door pulling her kids on a sled.

Page 65
Wasilla needed a police department and they had to pay for it with either a property tax or a sales tax. She went for a “fairer and more optional” sales tax even though she didn’t want it. Got her in bad with Republicans who hear the word tax and assumed she wanted it. Tax passed.

Didn’t get along with old white guys in the city council. They wanted to talk about regulating how many children someone could babysit in their home at one time, and whether they ought to allow flashing signs and spinning barber poles. Valley residents are not “master-planned-community kind of people.” They don’t need no stinking rules, or zoning.

Page 66
Wasilla is the duct tape capital of the world. That means they’re all anti-government libertarians because they do everything themselves.

They wanted to pass a rule stating that residents of a particular subdivision had to pay for garbage removal. She voted no because she was “on the side of the people and preserve their freedom so that Wasilla could progress, and not restrict opportunities.”

Her fiscal conservatism kicked in. No raise for the mayor. But it happened anyway. (Hmmm. Wonder if she’ll mention the $50,000 redo of the mayor’s office when she was there?)

Page 67
Went into labor with Willow on the Fourth of July while kayaking. “I so wanted a patriotic baby that I paddled as hard as I could to speed up the contractions, but she held out until the next day.” (Ah yes, patriotic acceleration of childbirth. So very normal and healthy.)

Willow was “raised on Todd’s hip” for a few years.

She cut a commercial at a radio station for a local politician while breast-feeding Willow to keep her quiet. Pretended not to notice that anyone was shocked.

Page 68
Spent two hours on Xmas eve with kids all over the place and Todd signaling her to wrap it up, on the phone with some guy about the sewer system. Took it as proof that she really cared about her job. (Head bang)

Providence with a capital P took her to the governor’s mansion (metaphorically, since she wasn’t actually there much) and the VP trail.

Page 69
It’s time for the unpronounceable “John Stein” to be re-elected. Some guy told him he wasn’t impressed with his “public management” degree because “the public doesn’t need to be managed!”

Page 70
The unpronounceable John Stein wanted things like land use restrictions and building codes. She decided to run against him to protect Wasilla from big government. “As every Iditarod musher knows, if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.” (More bumper sticker wisdom)

She ran again, this time with Track and Bristol in a wagon and Willow in a back pack. She promised to take a pay cut, and Todd was not happy with this.

Page 71
Someone told her she would never win because she had 3 small kids. This made the “Mama bear” rise up in her and made her more determined to win. (That makes no sense I can decipher. Anyone?) She won the election.

Page 72
Nobody welcomed her into the mayors office and told her what to do. Everyone disliked her for various reasons because they were all older than her, and she had run against someone they liked, etc. They all stared at her with their arms crossed and defied her to make them work for her. She wanted a team and they wanted no part of it. She fired the museum curator because she wasn’t needed.

Page 73
She asked everyone to write a letter of resignation so she could keep it on file for the future just in case she ever wanted to replace them. Most people didn’t want to do that and got bent out of shape. She knew then that they wouldn’t be team players.

Nick Carney launched a recall effort because she was too inexperienced. Accused her of taking the pay cut to shoehorn herself into a lower tax bracket. “Hmmmmm, I thought, wish I’d thought of that.” (So, she would have done what they accused her of if she had thought of it??)

Slams police chief, for taking an aerobics class… (?) Wants him to cut his budget and he says it can’t be done.

Page 74
The thing in her office that everyone thought was a fancy marble desk was just an old kitchen table that she was rescuing from her kids drawing on it with Sharpie markers.

A woman came to her office and said she was praying for her daughter who got caught smoking pot. It wasn’t her daughter it was “another nearby mayor who did have a teenage daughter who may have been smoking weed.” (Weed?)

Page 75
She was horrified at the prayer chain gossip mill that repeated this rumor that she is repeating in the book. She learned later that there are people who win prestigious awards for believing unsubstantiated rumors and telling other people about them. (eye roll)

She couldn’t go to her favorite coffee place when she was pregnant with Piper because the smell of smoke nauseated her. But she didn’t look to push through legislation banning smoking in restaurants. She just stopped going and the cafe just magically became smoke-free all on its own, which is how it all should magically work out every time.

She continued to go to the shooting range when she was pregnant with Piper.

Page 76
Her friends threw her a baby shower for Piper at the shooting range, with a cake the shape of an airplane. Piper’s middle name is Indi for “Independence.” (AIP anyone?) Starts railing on Anne Kilkenny whose letter about Sarah Palin to her friends went viral on email and was posted at numerous sites on line. Calls her a “Birkenstock-and-granola Berkeley grad.” She was friends with the evil town librarian and the police chief with whom Palin was “mixing it up.”

Page 77
Talks about the completely random and absolutely totally hypothetical conversation with the librarian about banning books, because she was just innocently curious what the librarians policy might be if, let’s say, someone might hypothetically want to keep certain hypothetical books from being in the library. (Pastor, I am Gay anyone?) Just tryin’ to make conversation. And then because of the local media who refused to report the story correctly, the library board all wore black arm bands in protest of her. And here she was expecting cake. Bummer.

Page 77
Talks about feeling like the mayor of Peyton Place. Cut taxes. Lots of taxes. Cut cut cut. New conservatives worked with her. Soon Wasilla was open for giant box stores like Fred Meyer and a WalMart Super store. Plus she built the giant sports complex.

Page 78
“Issues multiplied” with the police chief and she fired him after he “forced her hand.” She didn’t know how to fire him and nobody else did either. He sued her on the grounds that he fired her for “sexual discrimination” because he must have thought that he intimidated her because he was a big man and she was a small woman. (Perhaps this is because that is what she SAID, but I quibble…)

The unpronounceable John Stein wanted to run against her again. He called her a cheerleader. “A cheerleader? I thought. Come on, don’t insult cheerleaders like that. I was just a jock and a I couldn’t hold a candle to their pep and coordination.”

***************head bang/cold water on face break**************

Page 80
John Stein referred to her as a Spice Girl and a female reporter wanted to commiserate with her and milk the sexist comment for all it was worth. But Sarah said no. We simply have to rise above the fray and work twice as hard to look half as capable as men think they are. “Then I gave her a wink and whispered the old familiar punchline, “Thankfully, it’s not that difficult.” (Would that not be…a reverse sexist insult? Just askin.)

Page 81
9/11 – Where would be hit next? The Alaska pipeline? She monitored things from her Wasilla office. Later she prayed for the victims.

Her parents traveled to NYC later to help. They got a temp job with the USDA Wildlife Services keeping predators and pests away from the landfill as detectives searched for remains at the Fresh Kills landfill. (I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT!!!)

Page 82
“Alaskans were just coming off eight years of a Democrat governor, Tony Knowles. Knowles was quite liberal – he was later considered by President Barack Obama for a cabinet position.” (Ah, the DemocrAT party again. She really has no interest at all in any of them.)

Talks about Stevens, Murkowski (Frank) and Don Young as being the strongest congressional delegation in the country bringing in more federal money per capita to Alaska than any other state did. But she argues against that notion. Alaska should be a giver, not a taker.

Page 83
Home life was busy. Todd was building their new house. They were moving. They had three kids plus a new baby. Todd worked on the Slope. The kids were playing sports. She was coaching. She was the mayor. Todd was preparing for the Iron Dog snowmachine race. And she decided to run for Lt. Governor.

She wrote a contemplative prayer in her journal, and “somehow I knew that God was working on something significant ahead in our small-town life, and I felt myself seeking something ahead.”

Page 84
Those running against her didn’t have “executive experience” only legislative experience. And experience doesn’t count anyway. If she won for Lt. Governor, she joked, “Frank Murkowski wouldn’t need a food tester.” (Neither would John McCain)

Disses Karl Marx.

Page 85
Free market principles. Conservative fiscal policies. “National leaders have a responsiblity to respect the Tenth Amendment and keep their hands off the states.” The old Jeffersonian view. (*Note to Sarah Palin. It was also Thomas Jefferson who was part of the Democratic Republican party which was shortened to DemocratIC party. So, a little respect for Jefferson please.)

Page 86
Everyone else was “be-bopping” all over the state raising money and she only had $40,000. She didn’t like asking for money. “There were times when I thought, You know what I could really use? A wife. (How about a personal assistant, while you’re busy not being sexist.) She didn’t have a fire in the belly and ran a lackluster campaign.

Page 87
Todd’s mother was running to replace her as mayor, even though Sarah thought their parents were “too smart and too nice” to get into politics. (Meaning she’s mean & stupid? Hey, I didn’t say it) And the evil unpronounceable John Stein was thinkng about running for mayor, so she decided that she’d recruit somebody else and support them. She did this WITHOUT TELLING TODD that she was basically working against his mother. Then the candidate spilled the beans, Todd found out. “I was busted,” she said. Todd called her two-faced, but really she just wanted to save Wasilla from the libruls and she didn’t think Faye could win.

Page 88
An uncomfortable recounting of a back and forth arguement between Sarah and Todd. She’s “two-faced” and unsupportive. He’s always tinkering in the garage. bla bla bla. She admitted that she was wrong and self-centered. She lost the Lt. Governor’s race.

Page 89
She will not make the mistake of running an apathetic campaign again. (Again?)

Worked on electing Murkowski. Did whistle-stop tour with Ted Stevens. “Emerald green mountains plunging straight down into brilliant blue waters surrounded by picturesque fishing villages…glacier-covered mountains forming a spine that juts down the coast. Communities ringed by green islands rising out of waters that house whales and copious sea life, tidewater glaciers and the towering trees of Chugach National Forest” (Paging Mr. Shatner!)

Page 90
After Murkowski won, he had to appoint a replacement to his Senate seat. She wasn’t sure if she felt comfortable being on the short list, not being sure she’d fit in to a group that required loyalty to a party machine. “I didn’t know if there was room for one more maverick on Capitol Hill.” But national service was appealing.

Page 91
Interview with Frank Murkowski for Senate job. Says he looks like an insurance salesman, and picked a controversial Attorney General who left in a cloud of scandal. (Gee, THAT sounds familiar, doesn’t it?)

Page 92
Murkowski tells her political life is tough on kids. What would she do with her kids? She didn’t understand HOW BRUTAL political life in DC is on kids. She knew she didn’t get the job. She would have gotten it if it weren’t for him being all kind and worrying about her and her family. Oh, well. She was sad for seven seconds, then went to a basketball game. Excellent post on this page at Henkimaa – HERE.

Page 93
Frank Murkowski gave the senate seat to his daughter, who had two young kids. He made her chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission filling the seat to be occupied by a member of the public.

Page 94
Target – Randy Ruedrich, head of the state GOP and the commissioner from the petroleum industry. Ruedrich is bad and corrupt. She was accused of “being in bed” with the oil industry (Todd) He’s not management, “he actually works.”

Page 95-97
Still slamming Ruedrich. He was doing campaign work on his state time and computer. She wasn’t allowed to talk about it.

Page 98
Sarah as whistleblower. “If I die, I die.” (Nice Biblican reference again. I’m sure it will be back later.)

Page 99
Ruedrich was gone and she wanted to speak publicly. The public had a right to know what went on. (Wow. A love of transparent government… What happened THERE?) She prayed and then quit. (Interesting)

Page 100
Praises and then slams Hollis French.

Here we go. Mike Wooten.
Her sister Molly who was perfect, was swept off her feet by him. He’d been married and divorced twice, filed for bankruptcy and had infidelity issues, none of which she knew about.

Page 101
Addresses the glowing and effusive letter of recommendation she wrote for Mike Wooten while she was serving as mayor. “Mike asked me to write him a recommendation for the Alaska STate Trooper Academy, ans I did for lots of people applying for different programs and scholarships.” That’s it.

Goes through the laundry list of Wooten stuff. Drunk driving, threatening her dad, tasing the stepson. And remarkably brings up the shooting of a moose illegally but does not mention her dad was with him, and was the one who butchered it and doled it out to the family.

Page 102
“This sad family episode would later be twisted and used as a political weapon against me and John McCain.”

(AAAAARGH! The spin is making me nauseous.)

Page 103
“There was a longing inside me that winter, a sense of purpose hovering just beyond my vision. Was it ambition? I didn’t think so. Ambition drives; purpose beckons. Purpose calls.” (Sudden urge to brush my teeth.)

Page 104
God opens doors. She vowed to seek those open doors. Women are looked at badly for looking for doors.

End of Chapter Two, and this endless endless book is now 1/4 over. Oy.

Page 1
The second sentence of the book is a rollicking good piece of prose for William Shatner! “With the grey Talkeetna Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of snow about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier.” Awesome.

Page 2
The Alaska State Fair -People stop her and ask “When are they gonna ramp up drilling?” Piper is literally the poster child for the Right to Life booth. A picture of her as an infant with fluffy pink wings is their poster.

Page 3
Griping that Piper was good enough to be on their poster, but she wasn’t “politically connected” enough to get the RTL group endorsement in her early campaigns. The people at the booth have to put up with jeers of protesters.

Muses about state spending, political corruption in the state and “government growing as fast as fireweed in July.

Intrigued by politics and journalism because of her “passion for the power of words.” (Ha!)

Pages 4-5
Decided to run for governor. She didn’t necessarily get into government to become an “ethics crusader”. It just sort of happened. She fought corruption regardless of party and the GOP distanced themselves from her which was fine with her because she’d “always been without a political home.” This gave her freedom and she was only beholden to the people of Alaska. (Hmmm. Third party candidate in her future perhaps?)

Page 6
88% approval rating. No more business as usual. “Changing state government and changing diapers.” Dropped money in the Right to Life can and didn’t care who was watching. Got a phone call and prayed to the Lord asking for just one hour without politics. Call was from John McCain asking her to “change history.”

Page 7-18
Born in Idaho, moved to Alaska. Tried to fly when she was 4, but fell down and then got up. Father came from a dysfunctional family. Mother didn’t. She loved saying the pledge of allegiance in school. She loved reading from an early age, and her passion for reading distinguished her from her siblings who were all better looking and more athletic. Her dad read her “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and she loved it. (Ironic considering I just heard about how it was a commentary on ….Socialism!)

Page 19
“I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals – right next to the mashed potatoes.”

Pages 20-25
God’s creation all around. God knows what He’s doing. Her mother became an evangelical. She quotes Blaise Pascal saying that everyone has “a god-shaped vacuum” in their heart. God had a plan for her. She put her life in her Creator’s hands. God blessed her and fulfilled his promises. She’s grateful that her parents forced her to go to church. Quotes Plato.

Page 26
At ten years old she’s riveted by Watergate and Nixon’s resignation and Gerald Ford. Speaking of Ford she notes while looking at a picture of him in a Scholastic magazine, “He’d been America’s vice president then, sitting parade-style atop the backseat of a convertible, waving at the crowd. Now he was our president!” (Exclamation point! So, it’s quite clear that when she “didn’t blink” about accepting the VP nomination, she was saying yes to the presidency, which would have to be great with all that waving at the crowd stuff.) Her clearest childhood memories involve politics.

Page 27
Back to debunking the “she doesn’t read anything” meme. “I would put down one book just long enough to pick up another.” One of her dad’s friends said every time he came over they were all reading.

She started running in the 1970s. Taught her resolve and working through pain.

Page 28
Always ran for some school officer position. One year was sent to be the representative to the School Board and her rival school in Palmer sent “a dazzling and brainy cheerleader” Kristan Cole. Participated in Fellowship of Christian Athletes. “At least sixty of us met in public school classrooms for Bible study and inspirational exchanges that motivated us to focus on hard work and excellence. In those days, ACLU activists had not yet convinced your people that they were supposed to feel offended by other people’s free exercise of religion.” (AAAAAGH!)

*********coffee break**************

Page 29
Benefitted from Title IX and participation in sports. Didn’t subscribe to the “radical mantras” of “so-called women’s groups” like NOW (Ahhh! Here’s the obligatory jab at NOW for not endorsing her candidacy.)

Page 30-31
Her Dad was the coach of many of her teams. He made her work harder than the other kids. She would be hurt because he was nicer to them than her. But there were advantages. He knew she hated playing in the pep band after a game, which was required for everyone. So he’d tape her fingers together and she’d lie and say they were sprained so she didn’t have to play the flute. (Niiiice. Great teachable moment.)

Dad told her she had a choice between “boys and sports” and she couldn’t have both.

Page 33
In her senior year she prayed to God for a boyfriend, and got Todd.

Page 34-36
When she met Todd she actually whispered “Thank you, God.” Not only did he have a car, he had a TRUCK! And two snowmachines! She loves Todd’s family. He has seen the hardship and despair of Native rural life. (And yet she basically ignored these issues as governor!)

Page 37
Pre-emptive strike! “We weren’t into fancy clothes.”
“When he told me he had become a Christian and had been baptized at a sports camp a few years earlier, that was the clincher for me.”

Page 38-39
She snuck chewing tobacco from Todd. She saw her first PG-13 equivalent movie with Todd. He tried to kiss her and she didn’t know how. He told his friends. She was mortified. Even “the good ones” can act like jerks.

Basketball

Page 40-41
Basketball

Page 42-43
The college years.
Hawaii was too perfect. Too much sunshine.
Idaho was more like Alaska.
Home for the summer. Friend convinced her to do the Miss America scholarship pageant.
She kept her hair short in high school because she “didn’t like wasting time primping.” (So, what the Hell happened?) She felt self-conscious after “packing on the Freshman 15″. She was uncomfortable when she allowed her butt to be compared to other cheerleaders’ butts.

Page 44
Judge asked her if she thought a woman could be vice president, citing Geraldine Ferraro. She said a woman could be president. Judge asked her what are the best attributes of Alaska? She says natural beauty but “some Outsiders don’t understand Alaska’s potential in developing our vast natural resources.” (I’m sorry, I’m going to have to see the tape to believe that one.)

Page 45-46
Loved poli sci classes. Worked her way through college. Studied Reagan. Wondered why Carter hadn’t “acted more decisively” in the Iranian hostage crisis. “Why did he allow American to be humiliated and pushed around?” (Umm. Could it be that Reagan had an arms for hostages deal with Iran which is why they were released before his hand was even off the Bible? Could THAT be the story??) According to her it was because he radiated optimism and the bad guys took notice. He had a “steel spine.”

************cold water on face break***********

Page 47-48
Nauseating Reagan love fest.

Page 49
She worked at a sports desk. She worked on a slime-line. Todd got busted for a DUI and it changed his life for the better. They got married at the courthouse. Found witnesses at the old folks home across the street.

Page 50
Todd gets a job with BP. “As Todd slimmed down, I porked up, pregnant with our first child.” (Didn’t pork up with that last one though.)

Page 51
Went into labor. Her dad stayed close because “Sarah’s going to calve.” She hated labor and prayed for death.

Page 52
“What I really wanted was to scream bloody murder and beg for drugs. Blessed Mother of Jesus I finally got them!”

Page 53
Named Track because it was track season. If it had been wrestling season – Mat. If it had been basketball season – Court. Hockey season – Zamboni. (I’m hoping and assuming the last one is a joke, although…)

Page 54
Fish picking

Page 55
Pregnant again and had a miscarriage. Felt devastated. After the D&C, they typed “abortion” on the form and refused to type up a new one, but only used a thin layer of whiteout and then wrote “miscarriage” on it which felt like “salt in the wound.”

Page 56
Pregnant with Bristol.

Page 57 (I did a whole post on this page that you can read HERE)
The gist? See, I did name Bristol after the home city of ESPN, even though Todd tackled me to get to the birth certificate so he could name her with no input from me. Bristol has been begging to babysit since she was a small child. It’s her calling. And another “I love to read” reference.

Page 58
She worked at the Frontiersman as a proofreader. (What, not a copy editor?)
She read the newspaper from beginning to end while firing balls of wadded up duct tape at Track who would hit them with a hockey stick.

Page 59
Exxon Valdez – Heartbreaking. How will it ever be cleaned up, everyone wondered? Most people think of oily otters, but it was an economic and social disaster too. Todd knew immediately that it would affect the seafood industry statewide because people would assume all the fish was bad. Sound unfishable. Jobs lost. Boats reposessed. They know lots of people who were affected. Alaskans got frustrated with Exxon when they refused to pay. Nobody in government held them accountable.

Then she goes on to say that under her guidance, Alaska achieved victory in the case. This is utterly unaddressable in a couple lines. So it’s a good thing that Shannyn Moore wrote a whole post on this unbelievable statement. You can read it HERE.

And that’s the end of the first chapter. It’s unfortunate I decided to take a lunch break at this time, because I seem to have lost my appetite. Off for some deep breathing exercises.